Sproutling 127

The scent of delicious grilled souls wafted out from the small stove Wen was tending next to me. Currently we were back inside the Voidship!

With the advantage of an A.I. computer, autopilot ON!

Also, I am working on a rather fun project right now. That’s right!

I’m making a [System] for the people of Vespar and Durant to use. I believe after consultation with my people, numbers provide a type of serenity that cannot be denied.

It’s one thing to say, “I’m a strong man.” It is even better to say, “I’m a strong man, of 10,000 strength!”

I sneak a few snacks from the grill by using my new tricks. First I slow down the time around Wen to a fraction of a second, while speeding myself up. Then my branches strike like a ninja for the grilled meats!

Deliciousness!

Wen would give me dark looks every time she noticed meat missing on the grill, however this method leaves no evidence! Therefore, there is no way to accuse an innocent Tree!

Being the only other person around is not evidence!

“Tree.” Wen said, after the fifth theft.

“Yes?”

“Machine. Expensive?”

“Yes, something like a hundred billion galactic credits, so I’m told.”

“Replaceable?” Wen said, as she sharpened one of her cleavers.

“Uh…no?”

I paused.

“Wen, there’s no point in having great power if I can’t abuse it to have good things to eat, troll innocent victims, and cause general chaos!” I state grandiosely.

Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

“…chocolate fried tree branches…souffléd machines….” Wen muttered, as her cleaver blurred on the chopping board.

I gulped.

Wen stared at the food she was grilling intently as if she hadn’t said anything.

“Wen Wen, don’t worry. With this new project all your problems will melt away!” I said, splitting my attention between the new [System] and my cute chef.

A questioning look arose on her face, so I hurried to explain, “This time it’s a [System] I’ve even included cheats, trolling, and death traps into it!” I shift a few parameters for cooking classes, “You’ll be able to easily raise your skills, levels, and proficiency as a Chef. Given enough time you could even learn to cook Chaos itself!”

Wen turned to look at me with her cleaver raised and still dripping fresh ingredients. Her eyes narrowed and she stared at my branches with suspiciously happy glee.

Sometimes it is hard to understand the people around me.

“Tasty.” Wen said, after turning back around to her current endeavor.

Well, I’m actually made of Chaos Wood, which is more refined than mere Chaos. Meh, there’s no need to correct this.

Wen continues, “Tree, tasty?”

“Well, perhaps a few branches, yes. It would take a long time though, grinding up your skills.” I state truthfully. I don’t think I need to mention the part where it would take skill grinding proficiency of billions of years to reach, after all, I need to leave them hope right?

Right! Take this as revenge for chocolate fried tree branches! Hah!

“On another note, what do you think of our recent addition, Wen?” I ask putting the finishing touches on the [System]. Although I did make this for the masses, the master controls are still mine. Specifically the ones that will help me break through the Soul Chain for the Wind Dao. Considering that the A.I. has about as much understanding of Dao as a chicken has of baking bread, I think I’m good on that side. Even my most generous calculations show that learning anything besides the Dao of Metal would take a long time for her. Considering the [System] uses Time, Chaos, Flame, and others at lesser amounts, by the time it was cracked I would already have ascended a million times over.

That’s right.

This entire project is for my benefit after all. I don’t mind if others get something out of it too, however, in the end it’s for me. As such, certain precautions have been taken.

I’m not a paranoid Tree.

Not at all.

“Many recipes.” Wen says, her eyes shining as they never shift from the grilling meat. It appears she has learned her lesson this time.

“Yes, I particularly like what they referred to as ‘fiction’ in their database! To think, they believe the Dao doesn’t even exist! Simply because they cannot use it!” I laugh, the memory so amusing it still makes me cackle sometimes.

Wen who has personal proficiency in cooking magic, and soul magic to high levels smiles, “Cute.”

“Aren’t they though? I admit it is the first civilization we ran into that didn’t use magic, though.” I said. It wasn’t as if that planet didn’t have magical energy, it was more like they were completely blind to it.

Perhaps an evolutionary aspect?

After all, on planets with magic, it would be likely that the humans that could use it would be more likely to survive over time. Even more, because if they didn’t adapt to magic, they would certainly be devoured by magic beasts, or prey for magical plants.

Yes, that would make a good deal more sense. It would also explain why some of my Runes could boost magical potential off the charts. It wasn’t just the rune itself, it was the activation synching with the magical ‘genes’ inherent in a species.

Fascinating!

As I finish musing in my thoughts, my extended energy senses catch another small fluctuation in the Void around us.

This one flickers too briefly to be of use, which causes me to sigh.

One day.

One day I’ll get proficient enough to move from universe to universe with ease.

From planet to planet, I’ll feed.

Then suns.

Solar systems.

I have a list.

Of everything I want to eat eventually.

It’s getting…longer…though…

For now, I’ll just sneak some more bits of Wen’s cooking!