Part 43

Zach offered me a packet of sour candy from the other end of the old purple couch. I accepted it with gratitude, wrinkling my nose as the sour treat exploded on my tongue.

"So, Dave and I watched this crazy movie yesterday," he gushed. "It's a mystery about a cabin in the middle of nowhere, but I was only watching it for Scott —"

I looked up from my lap when Zach's palm waved across my face.

"Are you okay, hun?" he asked, peering at me with concern.

"Sorry," I muttered, rubbing my eyes. "I've been better."

"What's wrong?" Zach inquired.

The soft, sad piano music that played in the bookstore matched my mood perfectly. I sighed, slumping down in the cushy seat.

Where do I start?

Suddenly, the door to Athena's Used Books was pushed wide open, sounds of the busy street rushing into the store. An elderly woman dressed in a pink cotton dress ambled inside, an oversized bag slung over her shoulder.

Throwing me an apologetic smile, Zach stood up to greet her.

"Hey, Bonnie," he smiled.

Recognition sparked in me as soon as Zach called out the woman's name. I walked over to Bonnie, giving her a polite greeting which she returned immediately. She squinted at me, her eyebrows shooting up and her smile widening. Confused, I continued to smile at her.

"Have you read all those books already?" Zach asked her, clearly impressed.

"Yes, dear," she smiled at him with the same adoration that I had observed when I first met her. With a shaky laugh, she added, "I don't have much else to do these days."

"Let's pick out some new books for you then," Zach enthused, leading her further into the bookstore. "Come on, Leena, join in!"

I followed them as they walked towards one of the tall bookshelves, the air growing colder as we neared the air conditioning unit. Zach and I took turns pulling books off the shelves, reading their summaries aloud to Bonnie. I couldn't help but smile at him — towering over the small, adoring woman — as he tried to persuade Bonnie to read steamy romances.

"Is that what kids are reading these days?" Bonnie wondered when Zach read the synopsis of an erotic werewolf-and-vampire-love-triangle romance.

"Yeah, it's the Wuthering Heights of this generation," I joked, feeling uplifted by the combination of Bonnie's wobbly giggles and Zach's deep laughter.

As we walked further down the aisle, my mood lightened and the room got even colder.

"Ooh, it's a little chilly," Bonnie shivered, wrapping her corrugated arms around herself.

"Sorry about that," Zach apologised, retreating to the front desk. "I'll change the temp now."

When Zach was out of earshot, Bonnie turned to me and asked very casually, "Having trouble with love?"

"I'm sorry, what?" I choked as I stared at her, dumbfounded.

"There's nothing quite like young love," she smiled knowingly. "It's written all over your face, dear."

Discomfited by Bonnie's words, I pressed one of the charms on my bracelet deep into my arm. Shuffling from one foot to another, I stared at the muffin-shaped indent on my skin.

I didn't want 'young love' to be written all over my face.

Jason was finally close to where I needed him to be. In his own way, he had conceived a reason for my persistence to separate. But he wasn't fully convinced yet.

"That should do it," Zach's voice sounded from behind, startling me.

"Thank you," Bonnie beamed at him as I coughed into my hand to clear my hoarse throat.

The three of us spent the next twenty minutes browsing the bookshelves, the stack of books in Zach's hands growing heavier. Bonnie pretended as though our little chat had never happened, giggling at all of Zach's jokes. All the while, I struggled not to fixate on her words.

Before she left the store, Bonnie turned around at the front door, throwing a secretive smile at me. I had no idea what to make of it.

"Hey," Zach called, pulling me back to the purple couch. "Tell me what's wrong, Leena."

"Well," I began with a heavy sigh. "I'm returning to London on Monday, and Jason and I—"

"Wait, Monday?" he demanded. "The day after the day after tomorrow?"

Two short days. Forty-eight quick hours.

I nodded.

"That's too soon," he complained, frowning. Shaking his head, he asked, "I'm sorry, what were you saying about Jason?"

"We're . . . separating before I leave," I muttered, staring at my feet.

"What?" Zach's eyebrows shot up in genuine shock. "I get that long distance is hard, but you said you loved him, hun!"

"Jason and I are better off this way," I insisted, wincing at the way my voice shook unconvincingly.

"Have you two broken up already?" Zach asked, widening his sapphire blue eyes.

"Not yet. He's coming over later."

"Are you going to see him at the café today?"

"No, I . . . can't," I shook my head. "I mean, I can't just order coffee and make small talk."

Zach shuffled forward on the couch and threw his arms around me. His shoulders felt intimidatingly muscular underneath my arms as I hugged him back.

"I'm going to miss you, Zach," I said, my voice shrill with tears that threatened to spill at any moment.

"Don't you dare cry," he chided me affectionately.

With a weak smile, I pulled away. It was only then that I noticed that Zach looked different. A moment after searching his face for any changes, my eyes landed on his hair. Unlike the usual, deliberately tussled look, he had styled his blonde hair into a flawless quiff. The new hairstyle accentuated his cheekbones and sharpened his angular features.

"Zach," I cried, my smile turning genuine. "Your hair!"

"Finally," he grinned with relief. "I thought you'd never notice! You like it?"

"I love it," I assured him, winking. "You're like a blonde Adam Lambert, minus the eyeliner and hotter."

Zach laughed. "Thanks!"

My insides lurched when I realised just how much I'd miss my very first friend in LA. I would sorely miss his friendship, his ridiculous advice, his painful good looks, and even his relentless teasing.

"God," he sighed, shaking his head sadly. "I'll miss you like crazy."

A few minutes later, Claire arrived to pick me up for lunch. I asked her to drop me at her house after we shared a vegetarian, coal-fired pizza. On the ride back, Bonnie's remarks were all I could think about.

There's nothing quite like young love. It's written all over your face.

I imagined collecting those words and throwing them out of my head, but they seemed to bounce off the closed car windows right back into my brain.

***

After talking about the most unimportant things, it was finally time. Jason seemed to have realised it too, clearing his throat and straightening his back against the patio couch.

"Jason," I began at the same time that he said my name.

When my awkward chuckle died out, he said, "Do you still want to do this?"

I don't know.

"We have to."

With his jaw set, Jason watched the late evening sky. I couldn't tell if he was angry or just disappointed. Seeing him that way was unbearable.

I leant back in my seat, searching the deep blue and purple hues of the sky for any consolation.

Neither of us wanted to say the words, so I understood him perfectly when he asked, "So, we're . . . ?"

I forced myself to turn to him. I nodded slowly, but his gaze was glued to the sky. His beautiful eyes were surrounded by dark circles, identical to the ones under my eyelids.

This is my fault. I am doing this to him.

My eyes wandered down the slope of his freckled nose to his parted lips. I was overwhelmed — for the hundredth time that evening — by the desire to kiss him. But I held myself back for fear that I wouldn't be able to stop. I gazed at Jason's palm instead, pressing down on the couch by his side, my body twitching with longing. I tipped my head back to the sky again.

We sat at two ends of the couch, a safe, miserable distance between us. Several agonising minutes later, my arm inched across the gap. In deliberate and slow movements, I let the very edge of my pinkie touch Jason's little finger. His hand jerked a little from my unexpected touch. My heart hammered against my chest as I waited for him to withdraw his hand. But a moment later, his palm relaxed until our pinkies were resting against each other.

Somehow, that little touch felt so much more intimate than anything we had ever done.

With our gazes fixed on the endless sky above, Jason and I silently said our goodbyes.