CH 48

I asked Thanasios if it was okay to bring the knights of the Lete temple to break through the door of the greenhouse garden, but he shook his head, so I gave up. Instead, Thanasios granted me permission to open the door with his authority, which was a relief.

“Eleni, how did my brother react?”

“He’s a stubborn person. But he spoke highly of Thanasios-sama.”

“…I see.”

“Although, his expression was hard to understand.”

“Haha, that’s just how my brother is.”

With that conversation, I became convinced that Thanasios did not hate Helios. Therefore, it was my responsibility to melt Helios’ stubbornness for Thanasios’ sake.

However, it was not going to be easy. I thought about what to do, and the answer I arrived at was…

Thanks to Thanasios, I was able to enter the greenhouse garden without any obstacles and once again came before the annoying Helios – my chair was still not prepared – and sat on a small chair for a footrest. I poured tea into an empty cup and made this request.

“Please talk to me about something.”

Helios couldn’t resist my forcefulness and was just making a disgusted face.

“You come barging in here and then beg me for something. Who do you think you are?”

“But you have free time, don’t you?”

“I’m not free.”

“By the way, I forgot to tell you my name. It’s Eleni.”

“I didn’t ask.”

“I used to serve as a nun to the Goddess of Forgetfulness, Lethe. I still believe in her.”

“Are you stupid? There’s no such thing as a god.”

Helios’ words were inappropriate for someone of the Styx royal family. It could shake the foundation of the Styx Kingdom, which believes in gods and governs the country based on divine oracles.

What should I do? What should I say? As I was confused, Helios sighed and said:

“If there really is a god, it is the devil himself who makes me so miserable. Meanwhile, Thanasios is favored and even mentioned in divine oracles… I find it distasteful that the Styx Temple is lying like that just to keep the mood up.”

I understood what Helios was trying to say.

Even if there is one person who is favored by the gods, there are countless others who are abandoned by them. Thanasios is the former, and Helios and I are the latter. Some people respect Thanasios for his special status, while others resent and envy him, feeling that it is unfair. Especially for Helios, having Thanasios as his younger brother only made those feelings stronger. Why only his brother?

I didn’t want to be treated specially. I just didn’t want to see anyone else being treated specially besides myself. I think that feeling is universal, not just for Helios. If you think that the all-powerful gods are showing favoritism and treating you with contempt, it can make you feel miserable.

I understood. That’s why my mother gave up hope. She prayed, but her prayers went unanswered, and she learned that she had been abandoned by the gods, leading her to take her own life.

“My mother, who passed away, always prayed.”

As if shaking off my memories, my feelings came out of my mouth.

“I’ve always thought that it’s meaningless. Even now, I still think so. No matter how much someone who is not favored by the gods prays or wishes, nothing will change. Relying on the mercy of the gods is foolish.”

So is a wish for revenge. They don’t come true because I wish for them.

“To be honest, I don’t have any faith at all. I only followed the minimum obligation as a nun because I was forced to become one. The Goddess of Forgetfulness, Lethe, didn’t do anything for me. She didn’t even show me a way to escape from the miserable life in the monastery.”

If there is no reward for believing, what is the point? Where is the meaning in continuing to do something meaningless?

In front of God, human feelings are meaningless.

“That’s disrespectful.”

“I suppose so. Maybe the reason why the Goddess of Forgetfulness, Lethe, didn’t save me is because I’m like this. But that doesn’t mean I hold a grudge against her now. I understand that it’s just the way things are. If I’m lucky, it’s only because of Thanasios-sama’s favor. Thanasios-sama is loved by the main god, Styx. Only Thanasios-sama is smiled upon by the gods. Not me, never.”

My wish is just a side note. If it benefits Thanasios, then my wish is just being used. I don’t have any dissatisfaction with the main god Styx, but it’s certain that we have to keep a certain distance.

After we both took a sip from our cups and quenched our thirst, Helios finally agreed with my point.

“That’s right. The main god Styx smiles only upon Thanasios. That’s correct, that’s how it should be.”

Just because he agreed, it doesn’t mean I’m happy about it. Well, if Thanasios can be happy, then it’s a good thing, but as an individual with weak faith, I don’t think it’s a good thing.

Surely, Helios must feel the same way.

So, after hesitating and thinking for a while, Helios looked at me with a serious gaze.

“Eleni, keep this conversation to yourself. So, don’t come here anymore. Don’t do anything that will make Thanasios sad.”

What does that mean? Is it a warning that, as Thanasios’ wife, I should have a proper faith?

Even after receiving the divine prophecy and seeing the appearance of the main god Styx and the Goddess of Forgetfulness, Lethe, I still don’t fully believe in them. I know they exist, but I also know that they may not necessarily be on my side.

In this country, on this continent, such thoughts are considered disrespectful and heretical. Helios warned me not to spread such ideas to Thanasios.

At that moment, it became clear that Helios cares deeply for Thanasios. No matter what he says, he is worried about his younger brother.

It’s becoming quite an unpleasant story.

Without exchanging many words with Helios, I left.