The Tears

I couldn’t look in Muin’s direction. He sat next to me on the couch while Verdi and Liza recounted their trip to his parents.

“It’s a beautiful city, Capsi,” Liza was saying. “Wisteria will always have my heart, of course, but Wisteria has a rustic aesthetic whereas Capsi is more modern. Bigger buildings, bigger food, bigger everything. Even the baths were huge.” She laughed, looking rather haughty.

Verdi nodded and said, “A normal bath is big enough to swim in. Not that we have baths in Wisteria. We really should.”

“I know,” Liza said. “It’s so much better than a standing shower. Soaking in warm water is good for the body and soul. The Dukes Nin gave us such a beautiful welcome and catered to us during our stay so well you’d think they ran in hospitality not politics.”

“Your parents were so nice. Hard to imagine ever wanting to leave there,” Verdi said. She looked like she was searching for a reaction from Muin, but he was still. He’d been still since this morning, not murmuring more than a few words when he was spoken to.

His face was unreadable. A stoic mask of polite disinterest as my sisters talked on and on about the place he grew up. If not for the fact that I could feel how tense he was, I wouldn’t have known he was angry.

I wasn’t much better, though I wasn’t angry. My anxiety was spiraling out of control, but that was at least something I was used to. Anytime I was with my sisters my stomach twisted as I tried to guess if they were being sincere or if they were messing with me—and I’d had years of practice to fake it.

The only thing that threatened me now were the tears I was fighting back.

I could only imagine how it looked from his perspective. He’d done something so kind, so thoughtful, so wonderful, and I just ran off into the arms of another man right in front of him. Even if he’d just talked to Putra, it still wouldn’t feel good to see.

After Putra walked me inside, all I could offer up was a pitiful, “I’m sorry,” before Putra all but carried me to my room. Thankfully Jurek had shooed my sisters out of my room so it was just me and Putra while I cried as quietly as I could, gripping his shirt so hard it nearly ripped.

It didn’t help that, alongside Anhelina and Jurek, Putra was lurking in the corner.

It was stupid to let my emotions get the better of me. I knew better. I was trained better. All I had to do was find somewhere else to put my emotions and focus on the present. On the little things that added up to make the whole.

Like now, I put my anxiety aside, ignoring the pit in my stomach, and asked, “Was there anything there you think we should implement here? We’re rather out of the way, so I think it would be nice to know what else is going on in the region.”

“Oh, come on,” Liza said. “It’s your birthday, we don’t want to talk about work right now.”

“Exactly,” Verdi said. “We need to play some games. My lord?” Muin hardly moved, just slid his eyes in her direction. “Will you join us for a game of cards?”

There was a pause as we waited for his response. I expected him to say no and continue to sit on the couch, but his yes wasn’t just surprising to me. Liza’s brow’s shot up, but her smile remained.

“I’ll get a table set up,” Jurek said.

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“This one will work just fine,” Verdi said, sliding to the floor. “Unless Lord Muin doesn’t want to get his pants dirty on the floor?”

He was tense for a moment before relaxing and saying, “This table will be fine.”

Jurek nodded and left to go get playing cards, returning in less than half a minute with a deck of cards.

Liza took the stack and started to shuffle them, looking around the table with a sharp smile. “What should we play? Old maid? Greed? Poker?”

“What would be bet?” Verdi asked, perking up at the mention of poker. “I’m sure we all have enough money to trade around, but what fun would that be?”

“Too true,” Liza said. She leaned forward staring us down. “How about we start easy and bet nothing? Just pretend and get a feel for the game.”

“Works for me,” I said, taking my hand as Liza passed out the cards.

“Be sure to play fair this time,” Liza said, looking pointedly at me. “I know you aren’t good at enough at these games to play otherwise, but give everyone a shot, huh?”

“I’ve never cheated but I guess.” I could count cards easily but typically didn’t. There was no reason to when everyone else was usually bad at the game. My look of perpetual confusion always threw them off, but that wasn’t my fault.

“You find your ways,” Verdi said, drumming her fingers on the table.

“And you find yours, so let’s all keep it above board, okay?” She shot me a glare over her cards that I happily returned. “You’ll be dealer, Liza?”

“Always,” she said.

Muin and I placed fake bets first, being on her left to start the pot. Verdi called it and we moved back to me. Liza set down the three community cards and I bet more. Muin checked and Verdi called. The turn continued and I raised my bet. Muin raised his and Verdi checked.

The last round came, and I stared at the five cards in front of us. It must have been fate to give me such a good hand.

Muin looked at his cards and the community cards before setting them down and saying, “I fold.”

Verdi chuckled and set down her hand. “Straight flush, Hyran.” She smirked, quirking her brow. “Got anything to say to that?”

I laid down my cards. “Royal flush, Verdi.”

She looked shocked to see it, looking from me to the cards before she said, “We agreed to not cheat.”

“I didn’t.”

“You did.”

I rolled my eyes. “How could I have cheated?”

“They’re your cards.”

“I’ve never played with them until now. You’re the one who always plays poker, not me.”

“You count cards. I know you do.”

“Wouldn’t be able to do that on the first round even if I was counting cards. Which I wasn’t.”

“Miss Notti.” Everyone stopped, looking at Muin as his voice cut off Verdi’s reply. Even when he’d checked and folded earlier, his voice had been soft, almost inaudible. His volume hadn’t changed, but his tone commanded the attention of everyone. “I would appreciate it if you didn’t disparage my wife.” He looked at her like she was the mud on his boots. “Especially in front of me.”

She opened and closed her mouth like she was trying to find something to say but eventually sat back like a scolded child. I looked at him out of the corner of my eyes, but he wasn’t looking at me. He was looking at Liza who was staring him down in a silent showdown of wills.

After a minute, Liza scoffed and said, “I’m done with this. Verdi, let’s get ready for lunch.”

They stood and made their way out of the room, though the tensions didn’t fade as Muin gathered the cards together. The silence felt like it was strangling me. Something needed to break it.

“I—”

“I won’t be joining you for lunch or dinner,” he said, moving to stand. “I have something to take care of.”

“Lord Muin.” I went to grab his hand, but stopped short, letting my hands fall in my lap. “I’m sorry. About this morning.”

He was quiet and I could almost feel him reeling in his emotions. His voice was gentle as he said, “It’s alright. You have nothing to apologize for. I was just…mistaken.”

I stayed at the table, back straight until I was sure he was gone, and then I slumped like a puppet with their strings cut, letting my tears fall.

“My lady?” Anhelina came to my side, kneeling beside me. Her brows were so close together she looked like she had a unibrow. “Is there anything I can do?”

“No.” I tried to wipe my tears as Putra stood next to me, but failed as more came to replace them. “I just need some time.”