Chapter 8.5

Heesu smiled quietly, and all Sunghee could do was stare. After Heesu took another sip of her wine, she continued,

“Just like you said, perhaps there will come a time when I’m not interested in sex anymore. And when that time comes, will I be able to become my husband’s friend and live like roommates? I thought about this, and the answer is no. Never. Will my anger and resentment disappear? I doubt it. What I feel right now… I think it will stay with me forever. In fact, it will probably get worse over time. I will always see my husband as someone who forced me to waste my youth away.”

With a small sigh, Heesu added,

“I shouldn’t have married him. We might have been much happier if we never met. Please don’t make the same mistake I made, Sunghee.”

Sunghee still couldn’t say a word. All she did was watch her friend sadly.

***

“Hello?”

Sunghee paused when she heard Sejin’s voice on the phone. His husky voice always seemed to make her feel something deep inside. She didn’t know why, but his voice had an unusual effect on her.

When Sunghee didn’t respond, Sejin asked again,

“Hello?”

“Ah, hello, Sejin. It’s Sunghee.”

“I was just about to drive to your place. What’s wrong?”

Sejin left a message on Sunghee’s phone earlier that he needed to drop by his home before heading to her place after work. Sunghee thought perhaps this was her chance to distance herself from him. She hadn’t been able to think clearly because they had been spending too much time together. Maybe she would be able to come up with a definitive answer if she had some time alone.

“I have something to tell you,” Sunghee began.

“It must be something very urgent. Do you have a date with Manager Min or something?”

Sejin spoke of these things so callously. But then… Their relationship did begin in a very twisted way. She was also the one who called him an outcast, which must’ve hurt him very deeply. Maybe… it was just her misunderstanding that Sejin even liked her at all.

Sunghee was so confused. She just couldn’t figure out the answer to her dilemma. What if she stopped seeing Manager Min and chose Sejin only to find out Sejin considered her to be his sex partner and nothing more? Then what was she supposed to do?

Sunghee replied hesitantly,

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“No, it’s not that. Umm, well…”

What should she say? What was she supposed to say? After a long pause, Sunghee inhaled deeply before continuing,

“I… my period began again.”

“What? But it has only been two weeks.”

Was she supposed to feel grateful that he remembered something like that? Or was she supposed to tell him not to remember something like that? Well, either way, she just needed to convince him not to visit her for a while. Sunghee continued,

“This happens sometimes. I’m pretty irregular.”

“Didn’t you tell me before that you’re very regular?”

Why did he have to have such a great memory? Couldn’t he just let this go?! Sunghee wanted to scream at him in frustration, but she did her best to keep her voice weak as she replied,

“Most of the time, I’m pretty regular, but there are odd times when this happens. I don’t feel that well, so I wanna be alone for a week.”

“But last time, you were upset I didn’t visit you…”

“I know, and I’m sorry about that. But this time, I really feel too tired. I will probably feel better in a day or two, so I’ll call you again.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter anyway, right? We’ll still see each other in the office.”

Sejin’s voice sounded a little upset. Biting her lips, Sunghee replied quietly,

“Yeah, I’m really sorry. Please don’t be mad at me.”

“This is the first time you asked me not to get mad at you. I don’t know what’s going on with you, Sunghee.”

With a soft chuckle, Sejin hung up. Sunghee felt guilty that she lied to him, but this was for the best to keep things smooth.

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Perhaps Heesu was right. The right man was someone who made her feel comfortable. Someone she could talk to easily. Because what kind of life would it be if Sunghee had to live with a man she needed to feel cautious about all the time? Even though she had been seeing Manager Min for a while now, she still felt so uncomfortable around him. She couldn’t understand why, but every time she was with the manager, she felt like he was studying her and measuring her for something. But what was there to study? She was a perfectly average woman who graduated from an average school and grew up in an average family.

“I just don’t know what to do…”

Sunghee sighed deeply and lay down on her sofa. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t forget the sad look on Heesu’s face when she talked about her husband and her marriage.