Abdul Razzaq's POV-
It has been 2 weeks since the terrible accident of Kulsum's parents' death and things are quite disturbing.
Ever since that panic attack she had, she's been a statue. She neither speaks to anyone nor eats.
Wallahi, she doesn't even smile anymore and her condition is getting worse day by day.
She doesn't speak to anyone nor responds much if any of us talks to her.
We called the doctor as well and he said that she's confiding in a deep trauma.
She stopped smiling or being cheerful and lively as she used to be, hardly talks or speaks. But she doesn't cry as well.
She's just cold and emotionless and it's breaking every piece of me apart.
I just finished praying my Tahajjud salah (extra salah) as I sat down on my prayer mat.
I spared a glance at Kulsum who was sleeping cozily, I slightly smiled.....atleast she's sleeping peacefully.
It has been ages since she had slept in a deep slumber.
I cupped my hands in front of me as I prayed for her well being.
'Oh Allah please heal her, I can't see her like this. Please bring back my sweet, loving, cheerful wife who loves to talk and smiled constantly.
I had never ever felt like this in my entire life. All my life I chased after inner peace but couldn't find it in except her.
I hate seeing her like this and what makes me even more furious is that I can't do anything about it.
Oh Allah, Ya Rahman (the most compassionate) Ya Raheem ( the most merciful) Ya Salaam ( The giver of peace) Ya Muhaymin ( The protector).......please grant her peace and closure.
Only you know what she's been going through, please put her heart at ease.
Taking and giving life is only up to you. If it were any other thing that caused her this pain, I'd wipe out their existence.
But it's the matter of life and death, and I can't do anything except pray.....
I don't know why I'm feeling so uneasy and restless. If it were my any other family members, I don't think it would've bothered me this much.
Please, bring my loving wife back to me.....I'm desperate, I can't see her like this and I'll go beyond any limits in attempt to make her smile once more.
Please drop all her problems and grieves on me, kill me for all I care but please don't let her go through this.
I don't know what I'd do without her, please heal her and take away all her sorrows. What happened to her is the most dreadful thing imaginable, but what you do is indeed what's best for us.
Inna Lilla hi wa inna ilayhi rajioon. (Indeed we are sent by Allah and we'll return back to him)
I can't thank you enough for blessing me with the most wonderful person. She's not just a loving wife, but also an amazing and noble woman.
I can't imagine my life without her, and if she stays like this.....anauzubillah (god forbid) she'll die.
And I don't know what I'll do if she leaves me. You know very well of my condition indeed better than anyone.
I cannot bear parting with someone I love. That's why I was so afraid of forming any kind of attachment with her.
I was afraid she'd leave me one way or another. But now she needs you more than anyone.
She's a righteous woman on her deen and has always put other's needs and rights before her own.
Please help her as now only you can help her. She needs you more than anyone.
Never in my life I felt like this towards any woman. She makes me feel loved and valued and she gives me peace that no other person ever could.
Sizde cok haq soyledik........elbette Allah'ın senin için yazdıÄı kiÅide huzur bulacaksın. (Indeed you said right when you said that you'll find peace in the person Allah SWT has written for you)
Oh Allah siz cok iyi bilersin, ben bu gunden kimsiniz sevirmazmidik Khalis Kulsum. Lutfen ona benimde ayirmak. O Benim hayatanda cok guzel bir sey var. Siz Benim ruhunun cok iyi bilirsiniz. Ben bunun gibe hic insanda kece varmidik. Lutfen bize birbirinde gore guc var.
(Oh Allah, you know very well that to this day I haven't loved any woman except Kulsum. Please don't separate her from me. She's the most beautiful thing in my life. You know me very well that I haven't felt like this with anyone. Please make us feel strong with each other)
And with that I ended my prayer and folded my prayer mat.
Soon at the time of breakfast, she didn't ate anything.
I carried a bowl of soup for her in the bedroom as she was sitting with her head buried in her arms.
I slowly walked up to her and lifted her face gently.
Her face has become pale and withered. The Noor (light) on her face has vanished.
"I know you don't want to eat, but please do. You'll get sick otherwise." I cupped her face as her eyes met mine after a long time.
"What does it matter now? If I get sick.....or if I die? Who cares? The only people who did are no more......what do I do by staying alive anymore?" She said croakily as her voice sounded bitter and weak.
She has said the most words she has until today.
But those words pierced my heart, I can't let her die, she has a whole life ahead of her.
"You're talking nonsense, and don't you dare talk about dying." I clenched my jaw as my voice darkened.
"You know what? Let's go." I swooped her up in my arms and made her sit on the chair as I wrapped her hijab and fit shoes in her feet.
I grabbed her hand and made my way towards my personal underground gym.
It was huge and empty enough to echo voices.
All the modern equipment were placed proudly as they shone.
The black and white complexion of the walls went well with the gleaming black metal of the modern equipments.
"What are we doing here?" She asked flatly as her expressions were blank.
"You'll see." I handed boxing gloves to her. "What am I supposed to do with this?" She asked bluntly.
"You wear it of course, pretty sure these aren't meant to be eaten." I smirked.
I pulled out the punching bag which was huge and cylindrical.
"Now I want you to punch this bag, thinking aloud about what is bothering you." I instructed.
"I don't get it." She folded her arms. "I'll show you." I smiled slightly.
"I'm furious because of my company's rivals."
Punch
"I'm angry because I'm trying to concentrate on my work but I can't."
Punch
"I'm angry because my wife is depressed and probably won't smile anymore, her health is getting worse by the minute and I can't do anything about it."
I raised my voice as it deepened and jabbed and kicked the punching bag hard and furiously as I gave my final blow.
"I feel much better now. Now you try." I wiped the sweat off my forehead.
"No, please I can't." She pleaded.
"C'mon it's great, trust me.....for me." I put a hand on her shoulder as I looked at her with reassurance.
"Alright I guess I'll try." She stepped forward.
"Let's see......" she lifted her hands in affirmation.
"I'm angry because, my parents suddenly left me."
Punch
"I'm angry because they were never there for me when I needed them."
Punch
"And when everything was good, they left me all alone, this time forever. And I know that it shouldn't bother me that much as it never did before, but it does!"
Hard punch
"I'm angry because I was never a good daughter."
Punch
"I always went behind their backs and criticized them."
Punch
Her voice kept getting higher by the each sentence and words.
Her forehead became all sweaty as her eyes became fierce and she wore an expression on her face after a long while.
"I never understood them nor they ever understood me!"
Punch
"Yet they did everything in their power to keep me away from bad things and cared for me, and I was too ignorant to see it."
Punch
"They did everything for me, and I was an ungrateful brat!"
Punch
"And after everything......there's gone! Just like that!"
Punch
"I don't want it to affect me but it is!"
Punch
"They left me all alone just like everyone in the past."
Punch
"They left for good...."
Punch
"Forever"
Her punches intensified as she jabbed and kicked the bag with utter force and fury and screamed on top of her lungs.
Atlast, she dropped onto the floor curling herself up.
But what happened next, shook me to my core.
She cried........
Crying was an understatement as she wailed and sobbed and screamed her heart out.
I won't lie.....I was scared. Scared because I might loose her, scared because she might never smile again.
But she needed to let out her emotions, and she did.
She cried for the very first time......
I crept up beside her as I sat down and pulled her towards me and buried her head in my chest.
She hugged me back intensely as her arms circled tightly around my torso as she sobbed uncontrollably.
Her eyes became red as a fierce sky.....the kohl from her eyes smudged mixing with her hot tears.
"Shh....it's alright....I got you." I carcassed her head gently.
"I can't believe it.....they can't just leave me! I miss them so much." She wailed louder as she cried harder and her hiccups intensified.
"Shh.....I'm with you....and I promise, I'll never leave you." A lone tear escaped my eyes as I wiped it out immediately.
I can't cry, I can't let myself go.....I need to remain strong......for her.
I tightened my grip around her as she continued sobbing and after a while.....she passed out.
____________________________________________
Heyyyy guys!!!!!
It's Sunday! So here's one more chapter for you.
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