I grabbed my stuff out of my locker and closed it. I jumped when I saw Jordan standing beside my locker. How long has he been there?
My hand is over my heart and I'm staring at him with wide eyes. "Hey, Midget." He smiles.
"You scared me. Give a girl a warning next time." I say. We start to walk towards the library because we both have a free period right now.
"I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted to walk with you and I kind of have something to ask you." He says.
I nod my head and gesture for him to continue. "Well, there's a Halloween party coming up and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me?"
I laugh a little. "The last time I went to a party with you, you left me to go dance with two girls. No thanks."
We enter the library together. "I promise I won't leave you. Last time was a mistake that won't ever happen again." He says a little too loudly.
The librarian shushes him and he holds is hands up letting her know he'll be quiet. We sit down at our usual table and I get out a book we're reading for English.
"I don't know, Jordan. Parties aren't really my scene in case you haven't noticed." I say.
"Ah, come on. You need to go out and loosen up. You just got out of a relationship." He points out.
Stephen won't even look at me anymore. News about our breakup was going around the school like a wildfire. No one knew the details, but that didn't stop people from making their own assumptions. Some people were saying Stephen cheated on me. Some were saying I broke up with him for Jake or Jordan. Some even thought I broke up with him for Alyssa. Weird. I know.
"How has he been? How does he act at practice and stuff?" I ask.
Jordan shrugs, "He gives me his usual murder glare. He doesn't really talk to anyone. The guy is devastated. Way to go, Midget." He holds his hand up for me to high five, but I give him a glare.
"That's not funny, Jordan. I feel bad. I didn't mean to break his heart. He hates me." I drop my head on the table.
"Ah, come on, Midg. He doesn't hate you. He'll come around eventually." He puts his hand on my arm and rubs up and down.
It's a simple gesture, but it feels like it's much more than that. I release a sigh of satisfaction and close my eyes. How can one person make you feel like this?
"Midget?" I hear Jordan say. I open my eyes and sit up. A small smile is on his face and I don't doubt he was enjoying the effect he just had on me.
"Yeah?" I ignore the look on his face and try to pretend like I didn't just get turned on by him rubbing on my arm. I'm a goner.
"Are you going to go to the party with me or not? You can invite Alyssa and Jake if you want, but I'm pretty sure they were already going. I know for a fact Jake is." He says.
I think about it, but I already know my answer. "Only if you promise not to leave me."
"Alright, but I have a condition of my own. You have to promise to trust me and have fun. My definition of fun." He says.
I'm almost afraid to agree to this. Jordan's definition of fun can't be good, but I slowly nod my head. He smiles at me.
"Since it's a Halloween party, we have to get costumes. I think we should do a couple costume thing. I was thinking Bonnie and Clyde." He says.
"We're not even a couple. Last time I checked, you have to be a couple to do a couple costume thing." I say.
"But we're friends. Friends can do stuff like that. Besides, it's not my fault you're still fighting your feelings for me. Even when you're not with Stephen, you're still fighting your feelings for me." He says.
"I am not fighting my feelings for you. I just got out of a relationship and I'm not ready for another one." I respond.
Jordan rolls his eyes, "The lies. You just don't want Stephen to think you dumped him for me."
I slam my hands down on the table out of frustration. "That's not true!"
The librarian shushes me and sends me a death glare. I apologize quickly and turn back to a laughing Jordan.
"Midget, you're so adorable. Even when you're mad, you turn red. It's really cute." He laughs.
I roll my eyes and huff. "I'm definitely not going as Bonnie with you now."
He gets serious when I say this and I have to hold back a smile. "Please, Midget. I've always wanted to dress up as Clyde for Halloween, but I never had a Bonnie and you're the only girl that's worth being my Bonnie."
I can't fight the smile that breaks out on my face. He doesn't even have to try. It's like he knows exactly what to say.
"Fine. Meet me at the mall after your practice. We can look together for costumes." I say.
He smiles, "Thanks, Midget." He grabs my hand and kisses the top of it. The gesture makes me stop breathing. My hand feels hot and so do my cheeks. I don't even think he realizes what he did because he stares at my hand and gently places it back on the table.
It's awkward now. I go back to reading and he starts to do something on his phone. I look down at my hand and smile a little. His lips felt like rose petals. I can only imagine what his lips would feel like against mine. What they would feel like all over me. My face. My neck. My chest. My stomach. The feeling of him getting lower and lower and lower.
I shake my head from the thoughts. I squeeze my thighs together and try to get rid of the tingling sensation down there. When did I start having fantasies about Jordan? I try and read the book, but the only thing I can think about is Jordan. I take a sneak peek of him and he looks like he's deep in thought. I wonder if he's thinking about me?
The bell rings, signaling for us to go to our next class. I stand up and push my chair in along with Jordan. We both walk out of the library and head to our next class together. Jordan and I were still partnered up together for history and I was happy for that. It gave me an excuse not to sit by Stephen. Not that he was talking to me anyway, but still, it's awkward sitting by your ex.
I see Alyssa and Jake. I turn to Jordan and he nods his head towards them. "I'll catch you later, Midget." He turns off down another hall and I continue to walk straight ahead. He still seems bothered about what happened a few minutes ago.
I walk over to them and greet them both with a hey. "What's up with you and Jordan? You two have been spending a lot of time together lately." Alyssa asks.
"Nothing is up. We're friends like we always are." I tell her.
"It doesn't seem like it. I give it a week before you two are dating. He's always looking at you like he wants to attack your lips with his. You look the same way sometimes." Jake says.
I roll my eyes, "Whatever guys. I'm still trying to get over Stephen. I don't want to seem like the girl who jumps from one guy to another."
"There's nothing wrong with that. It's only a problem when you're sleeping with one guy to another. Like Virginia." Alyssa says.
I laugh at her, "That's just not me. Plus, I still feel something for Stephen. I want us to be friends, but I doubt he wants anything to do with me. He even told me he didn't."
We enter the classroom together. "I can talk to him for you if you want me to." Jake offers.
I shake my head. "This is my problem. I should be the one to handle things, but thanks anyway."
He gives me a quick head nod before going to his seat. Alyssa gives me a sympathetic smile before going to her seat. I'm sitting in the back now along with Jordan. Stephen is sitting at his usual desk. I have to pass by him in order to get to my desk. It usually wouldn't bother me because I have Jordan to talk to along the way, but today I'm all alone.
As I pass by him, I stare at him. He has dark circles under his eyes and he's pale. His hair looks like he didn't put any effort into it and it doesn't look good like it normally does. I want to apologize and take his pain away, but I know I can't do that last part and the first part would probably make things worse.
"Did you want something?" Stephen says. I hadn't realized that I stopped beside his desk. I was openly staring at him. I look around to see everyone staring at us. Wanting to see what I'm going to do or say next. Jake and Alyssa are giving me a "What are you doing look".
"I. Um. I'm sorry. I don't know what I was doing." I say. He seems disappointed at what I said. I can't help, but think that he was hoping that I would ask him back out.
He turns his head away from me and I head to my desk. I sit down and take out my history book, trying to focus on anything besides Stephen and the staring eyes. I wish Jordan was here. He would make me laugh about the situation. Where is he by the way?
I see Ryan, Troy, and Daniel talking to each other. He's not with the guys. I decide to go over to them and ask them if they know where he is.
I tap Daniel on the shoulder because he's the most friendly. "Hey, Abby. What's up?" He asks.
Ryan and Troy also turns to me. "Do you guys know where Jordan is?" I whisper to them.
They look at each other and I can tell they know where he is, but I don't think they want to tell me.
"Um," Daniel begans to say something, but is cut off by the bell. Mr. Buttule looks at me and I walk back over to my seat. Where the heck is Jordan at?
Jordan's p.o.v.
I'm walking around the hall, trying to clear my head. I send a quick text to Daniel letting him know I won't be in class today. He asks me if I'm with a girl and I tell him yes. I don't want him to know the real reason why I'm not going to class. I know I shouldn't be so freaked out about kissing Abby's hand, but I am. It was like it was a natural instinct. What is she doing to me? She's been on my mind a lot lately. She's even consuming my very thoughts right now.
I have to get her out my head. I don't like Abby. She's just a bet to me. I need to get my priorities straight. I have to hurry up and sleep with her before she ends up driving me insane. I need a distraction.
I see a pair of tan legs walk across the hall. I found my distraction. I jog over to the girl and tap her on the shoulder. She turns around and I immediately recognize the girl. It's one of Virginia's barbies. Carmen.
"Jordan. What a surprise to see you." She immediately puts on her flirting face and twirls a strand of her hair.
She's hot. I have to admit that, but if she's anything like Virginia I don't know if I'll be able to deal with her. I'm not the relationship type. Everyone knows that.
"Hey, Carmen. I thought that was you. You look great today." I say, turning on my charm.
She smiles, "Thanks. I have a free period right now so I was about to head to the mall and grab a bite to eat. Do you have a free period, also?"
"Well, it depends. If I get to spend it with you then yes." I smile and wink.
I see the lust creep into her eyes and I know that I've got her. "Maybe, we can stop by my house? I forgot that I left my money at home. You can come in with me and while we're there, we might as well eat at my house. Saves time and money." She suggests.
I smile, "Sounds great. You lead the way." We walk out of the school and get into her car. She turns her music on and an annoying song comes on. Midget would play something way better than this crap I'm listening to now. Stop it, Jordan. Stop thinking about Abby!
When we get to her house, we both get out of her car and go in. I close the door behind me and look around.
"So, what would you like?" She asks me, bringing my attention back to her.
"You." I smirk. She rushed over to me and smashes her lips against mine. This kiss is aggressive, fast, and hungry. She wants me. Bad.
I lift her up by her thighs and she wraps her legs around me. We never break the kiss and I walk into her living room. I sit down on the couch and she straddles me. She removes her shirt and tosses it to the floor. I unclasp her bra with one hand and throw it to the side. It isn't long before we're both naked. I grab the condom out of my wallet and slip it on. She gets back on top of me and I enter inside of her.
She begans to rock back and forth on top of me. She moans my name repeatedly. Sex with her feels just like all the other girls I've had sex with. I mean she's good, but it always feels the same. She tosses her head back and moans louder, letting me know she's almost finished. I turn us around so that I'm on top and I pick up my movements. I thrust inside of her faster. Her nails dig into my back and arms. She has her orgasm and I finish a few minutes after her.
While she's trying to recover, I start to get dressed. She smiles a sleepy smile. "Don't you just want to stay here?" She asks.
"I can't. I have school." I say while slipping my shirt back on.
"We still have a few minutes until we need to go back. We can just chill here for a while." She offers.
I roll my eyes. "I wish I could stay, but I can't. I would like it if you would drive me back to the school now."
I can see the anger slowly make its way to her face. "You used me."
"Ding. Ding. Ding. We have a winner. It took you a less amount of time to figure it out than it does most girls." I say.
"You jackass. Find your own way back to the school." She grabs her clothes and goes upstairs.
I roll my eyes at how dramatic she is and leave her house. I dial Troy's number and he picks up on the third ring.
"Hey, dude. Where are you? You skipped history and it's lunch time." He answers.
"I need you to come pick me up. I'm at Carmen Reed's house. She doesn't want to drive me back to the school." I say.
He laughs, "On the way. Next time, drive your own car to the girls house. And Carmen? Really?"
"Oh, shut up. Just hurry up and get here. I'm starving." I say before hanging up.
Troy gets here about fifteen minutes later and we head back to the school. When we get to the school, I only have about ten minutes of lunch left. We both head for our regular table.
I pull my chair out beside Abby and sit in it. "Hey." I greet her.
"Hey, where have you been? I missed you today in history." She says.
I smile and put my hand over my heart. "Aw, Midget. I missed you, too. Coach caught me in the hallway and wanted to talk to me."
She's staring at something and when I give her a weird look she snaps back into reality. "Midget, are you okay?" I ask.
"Uh, yeah. I just have to use the restroom. I'll be back." She says. She grabs her bag and walks out of the cafeteria. What's up with her?
Abby's p.o.v.
When I see Jordan walk into the cafeteria, relief washes over me. I thought he went missing or something. He pulls his chair out beside me and sits down.
"Hey." He simply says. I was expecting him to apologize for not showing up to history or at least explain why he didn't show up.
"Hey, where have you been. I missed you today in history." I say truthfully, but instantly regret it. I sound like some needy girlfriend.
He smiles and places a hand over his heart. "Aw, Midget. I missed you, too. Coach caught me in the hallway and wanted to talk to me." He says.
I notice something on his arm. I move a little closer to get a better look. They look like nail imprints. Like someone dug their nails into his arm. I'm sure the coach didn't do that. They weren't there when we were in the library. He was with some girl. He had to be. I think I'm going to be sick.
He gives me this odd look. "Midget, are you okay?" He asks me.
"Uh, yeah. I just have to use the restroom. I'll be back." I grab my bag and leave the cafeteria. I can feel the tears threatening to fall down my face.
My eye sight goes blurry from the tears. I bump into someone and look up to see who it is. It's Carmen. Great. Just what I needed.
"Watch where you're going." She says. I look at her face and her makeup is running. She's been crying. Who made Carmen cry? Probably Virginia. She's a shitty friend to her and Kimberly.
"Are you alright?" I ask her. Even though this girl hates my guts, it doesn't stop me from being human and showing compassion for someone when they're upset.
She sniffs and I can tell she's debating on whether or not to tell me. "No, I'm not okay. Also, could you give this back to Jordan. He left it at my house. You two are friends, aren't you?" She asks.
She hands me a necklace that I've seen Jordan where all the time. I look at it and put it inside of my pocket.
"Word of advice. Don't ever sleep with Jordan. He does nothing, but use girls. I'm so stupid." She says before storming pass me.
He slept with Carmen. He lied about where he was. He lied to me. I thought we were pass the lies. Pass the sleeping with random girls. A tear falls down my cheek. Stephen was right. Jordan already hurt me and we're not even together. The bell rings and I wipe my eyes. I'm done crying over Jordan. I was stupid to believe that Jordan would change his ways for me. I'm not any different from the other girls he likes. Maybe we should just stay friends. It's the only way I can keep myself from getting hurt by him.
*****
I'm lying down on my bed, tossing a softball up in the air and catching it. I ignored Jordan the rest of the day at school. I actually left school early. I went to the nurse and told her I wasn't feeling well. It wasn't a total lie. She called my parents and they gave her the okay to allow me to go home.
When mom and dad got home, dad made me some homemade chicken soup. I told them I was feeling fine, but they wanted to make sure I was okay. Which meant they checked on me every hour. The last hour I told them I would be going to bed soon so that they would leave me alone. I just wanted to be alone. I felt alone. I could call Jake over, but I feel like I bother him too much with my problems. Him and Alyssa.
I sighed because I was so bored. My phone started vibrating on my night stand and I answered it without checking the caller ID.
"Hello." I answered. I laid the ball I had in my hand beside me and sat up.
"Midget, why didn't you tell me you were leaving school early. You didn't even tell Alyssa or Jake." Jordan says.
I roll my eyes and curse myself for not checking the caller ID. I look at his necklace that's on my night stand. Eventually I would have had to talk to him to return it.
"I wasn't feeling well. I went to the nurse and she sent me home." I say.
I wasn't trying to hold a conversation with him. I was mad at him. You know what? I'm tired of hiding how I feel from people. He's upset me and he should know about it.
He goes to say something else, but I cut him off. "How could you sleep with Carmen?! How could you use her like that?! She was crying when she came back to school!" I yell, a little louder than intended.
It's quiet on the other hand until he sighs. "I'm coming over. Leave your balcony doors unlocked for me and let Jake know I'm parking my car at his house." He hangs up before I have the chance to disagree.
That jerk! He can't just invite himself to my house whenever he wants. I get off my bed and look at myself in the mirror. I put my hair into a neat pony tail and trade my pajamas in for sweatpants.
About thirty five minutes later, I hear a slight knock on my balcony door. I was starting to think he wouldn't show up. I walk over to the doors and open it, revealing a good looking Jordan. He always looks good, but he looks even better with a white tank top on and blue shorts. He stares at me for a moment, looking me over and I mentally slap myself for not wearing something better.
He clears his throat, "Um, may I come in?" I open the door wider and step aside, allowing him to come in.
He instantly goes to my bed and sits down. I don't want to sit next to him, so I stand beside my desk instead. He looks at me for a while, not saying anything. I don't know if he wants me to start off or not, but I speak first anyway.
"Jordan, I don't get you. You say you want me, but you're still screwing chicks from left to right. I can't be with someone like that." I finally say.
He sighs and rubs his hand down his face. "She's the first girl I slept with in three weeks. I'm not screwing chicks from left to right. I need to tell you the truth about something." He says.
Fear strikes me and I don't know why. I feel like whatever he's about to say next, won't be good. I don't say anything and he takes my silence as he can continue.
"You're not the only one that's been fighting your feelings for someone. I slept with Carmen because I was trying to forget about you. You're turning me into a guy that I'm not. I wanted to do a couple costume thing earlier. I've never done that with anyone. I kissed your hand. I don't do hand kisses. I never kissed a girl on the hand before. These feelings I feel for you, Abby, are foreign to me. I regretted sleeping with Carmen right after I did it. You were still on my mind. I know it's messed up, but I don't know what to do. I never dated anyone before and with us taking things slow, it's making it a lot harder on me." He says.
I don't know what to think. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around what he just said. So basically, he slept with Carmen because he was scared of his feelings for me. What the heck? Jordan is always so confident, but I do see a change in him. He's doing more couple type things with me lately. Like holding my hand or kissing my cheek. That's definitely not the Jordan I first met. He's looking at me waiting for me to say something.
"I understand, but you can't just go around sleeping with girls when you're scared to face something. I was hurt when she told me that. When I saw her nail imprint in your skin. When she handed me your necklace to give back to you." I close my eyes trying to calm down.
I hear him get up and walk over to me. "I'm so sorry, Abby. I'm a jerk. A huge one, but I'll do anything to make this up to you. Just name it and I'll do anything. I just really want us to work out." He says.
I think for a moment and when an idea pops into my head, I know that I have to make him do it.
"I want you to apologize to Carmen. Tomorrow morning. It's the only way I'll forgive you. She didn't deserve to be used like that and I wouldn't like it if I was used like that either." I say.
He groans, but slowly nods his head. "Sure, anything you want." He says.
We stare at each other for a moment until he pulls me in for a hug. It's one of those embraces where the person hugs you like they haven't seen you in forever. I hug him back and rest my head on his chest.
"I'm not good enough for you, Midget. You'll realize it sooner or later. Hopefully soon." He whispers.
I don't know what he means by this, but I don't think about it. I just think about how his arms feel around me and how I feel safe. I feel at home in his arms. Like they were made just for me. Soon we end up on the bed, talking about random things. My head is rested on his chest and one arm is wrapped around his stomach. We talk about the Halloween party this weekend and how we'll have to go get our costumes after school tomorrow. That's the last thing we talked about before I fell asleep on his chest, listening to his heart beat. Wondering if it's beating for me.