Jordan is coming to get me in a few minutes. He told me about how the fair was coming into town and it got me all excited. I would go all the time with Alyssa and Jake. I told Stephen about it and he offered to take me there, but I told him I was going with Jordan already. He seemed upset about it, but let it go and said he would meet me there.
I apply some red lipstick to my lips and smack my lips together. I've been getting better with doing my hair, makeup, and getting dressed. I'm pretty proud of myself. I no longer need Alyssa to help me get dressed anymore. Well, sometimes I ask her opinion on things.
I had on a black dress with small white polka dots on it along with a denim jacket thrown over it and brown leather ankle boots. My hair was curled and I thought I looked good.
The door bell rung downstairs and I raced down to go open the door. I opened the door to find a smirking Jordan. My mouth dropped open when I saw him. He looked so sexy. But then again, Jordan always looks good.
"Looking good, Midget. Getting dressed up for me?" He winked.
I rolled my eyes. "Psh, please. I get dressed up for myself. Not for you." I smile and close the door behind me.
We start to walk towards his car and we both get in. "I hope you don't mind, but I invited Troy and Ryan. Daniel had to work so he won't be coming tonight." He says.
I shrug, "I don't mind." I tell him.
He smirks at me and turns on the radio. The song sweater weather by the Neighborhood starts to play.
"Good because they're riding with us." He starts the car and we take off towards Troy's house. I remember the way to it.
I think about how this is going to turn out. I show up with the guys Stephen hates, and they see me meeting up with Stephen. Maybe I should mention it to Jordan so there won't be any surprises.
"Um, Jordan?" I say. He takes a quick glance at me and then turns down the radio a bit so that he can hear me.
I let out a nervous laugh and scratch the back of my neck. A habit I've picked up from Jake.
"Um, Stephen is going to be at the fair tonight. We're actually supposed to be meeting up there." I say.
I watch his reaction and it's exactly what I expected it to be. His jaw clenches and his knuckles turn white because he's gripping the steering wheel so hard.
"Abby, what part of don't make plans with Stephen did you not get? I wanted to spend tonight alone with you." He says through gritted teeth.
I knew he would be mad, but not this mad. It seems like his hatred for Stephen has increased.
"Um, it just kind of slipped? Besides, he was making plans to come anyway, so we would have run into him anyway." His expression is still the same.
"Well, whenever you're not around him come find me because I refuse to hang around him tonight." He mumbles.
"Did something happen between you two? You usually don't care about Stephen and me hanging out together." I ask.
"You already know what happened between us." He doesn't look at me when he says this.
I narrow my eyes at him. "Well, a few weeks ago, it seemed like you were over it and that you could potentially be friends with him and now it seems like you want to kill him."
His face turns bright red and his eyes become distant, like he's thinking about something. He starts to drive into the other lane and my eyes go wide.
"Jordan." I say. He's still in the other lane and another car is coming. My heart rate is increasing and I'm in full panic mode.
"Jordan!" I yell louder this time. He seems to snap back into reality because he quickly swerves back into the right lane.
My hand is over my heart and I'm taking deep breaths. I turn to look at Jordan and he seems to be trying to recover from the spell he was just in.
"Jordan, what the hell was that? You almost crashed into that other car back there!" I yell at him.
He looks over at me and gives me an apologetic look. "I'm sorry. I just. I don't know. I don't want to talk about it." He says.
The rest of the time it's silent until we get to Troy's house. He gets in the car loud like elementary kids on a field trip. He also compliments me on how I look which makes me blush. When we get to Ryan's house, he gets in being a lot quieter than Troy was. Jordan is acting like his normal self again, but it doesn't stop me from wondering what he was thinking about that had him go into a trance and almost kill us both.
When we get to the fair, I send a quick text to Stephen telling him to meet me at the gates. We all buy the wrist band that will give us unlimited access to rides because who wants to keep buying tickets.
I see Stephen walking over to us and I smile at how good he looks. The guys groan and I send them a look telling them to be nice. True to his word, Jordan takes off in the other direction which means Ryan and Troy followed him and left me.
When Stephen reaches me, he pulls me against him and places a soft kiss on my lips. He pulls back and smiles at me.
"What's with your friends? They don't want to hang out with me?" He fakes a frown and I laugh at him.
"I don't know what's wrong with Jordan. Usually he would stay around just to mess with you, but he almost seems pissed at you for some reason. He nearly killed us both in the car when I brought your name up." I say as we walk towards a ride.
Stephen stops walking and grabs my arm. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?" He starts looking me over and I laugh.
I push him off of me. "If I were hurt, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be at the fair right now."
"I'm just making sure because I would have smashed his face in if you got hurt because of his reckless driving." He grabs my hand and I smile a little.
"Did something happen between you two recently? Something that could have maybe added more fuel to the fire?" I ask.
He looks at me and then looks away. "We don't really talk to each other so no. He's probably just cranky because he hasn't had sex in a while."
I find it funny that both him and Jordan looked away from me when I asked the same question. I ignore it for now and nod my head.
We both get on this ride called the ring of fire. I sit beside some random girl and sit in front of Stephen. There's a guy sitting in front of the girl who I'm assuming to be her boyfriend.
The ride starts and we start to loop around the ring. The man controlling the ride stops it and has us upside down. He leaves us there for about ten seconds before he starts the ride again sending that weird gut feeling in my stomach.
When we get off, I have to hold on to Stephen to keep from falling. "Woah, there," He catches me and smiles, "Maybe we should take it easy on the rides."
I nod my head. The next ride we go on isn't that bad. You just spend around in circles real fast as music plays. After that ride we go to one called the flip n out. Probably the worse ride I've ever been on. We flipped so many times that I think my brain somehow managed to be flipping with me.
We both decided to take a break and grab some food. I haven't seen Ryan, Troy, or Jordan all night since they left me. Jordan is probably shacking up with some girl. I pay for the food since the last two times Stephen paid for the food. He gets a funnel cake and I get a candy apple. We sit down at one of the tables and eat our food.
"Where do you want to go next?" Stephen asks. I take a piece of his funnel cake and pop it into my mouth.
"Ferris wheel?" I suggest. He nods his head and grabs my candy apple and takes a huge bite out of it.
I slap him on the arm. "I didn't take that big of a piece out of your funnel cake."
He smiles and winks at me while chewing my candy apple. After we finish eating we head for the Ferris wheel. Still no sign of Jordan and it's starting to worry me. What if he left me? I could always catch a ride back home with Stephen, but still I don't want him to leave. I still want to at least ride one ride with him.
Stephen lets me get in first before he steps in with me. The Ferris wheel is the most boring ride, but for couples, it's the most romantic ride. We stop at the top because the man is letting other people on.
Stephen grabs my face and places his lips on mine. Our lips move gracefully together, but soon the kiss starts to get heated. Stephen places his hand on my lower back and brings me closer to him. The cart that we're in starts to shake back and forth. I break the kiss and grab onto the sides.
Stephen laughs at me. "Sorry, didn't mean to rock us. I won't let you fall. I promise." He smiles.
I nod my head and we go back to kissing. We're so into our make out session that we don't realize we've gone around the Ferris wheel four times. We break apart and he looks into my eyes. He places his hand on my cheek and holds my gaze.
"Abby I need to tell you something." He whispers. I nod my head and wait for him to tell me what he has to say. We're getting close to the bottom and I'm sure the man is going to stop it and tell us it's our turn to get off.
He smiles and places a light kiss on my lips. "Abby, I love you." He says.
I don't know what I expected him to say, but I love you sure wasn't what I thought he would say. I would have thought he would have said something along the lines of 'I'm having a nice time' or 'You look great tonight' even a 'I really like you' would have been fine, but he said the L word.
I'm thinking about whether I should say it back or not. Do I feel the same way? I think back to what Jordan said that day at the park. How he described how a person should make you feel. I like Stephen, but he doesn't make me feel the way Jordan said a person ought to make you feel, but what does Jordan know? He's never been in love with a girl as far as I know.
He's looking at me, waiting for me to say something. I try to come up with something quick to give me more time to think about how I feel about Stephen. We're getting close to the bottom where we get off at.
"Um," I say looking around, "I have Diarrhea. I need to use the restroom."
He stares at me confused and I mentally face palm myself for saying that in front of him. I bet he wishes he could take back what he just said. The man stops us and we both get out of the cart.
"Uh, I'll go beside the ball toss game while you go," He pauses thinking of how to say his next words, "Use the restroom."
I nod my head and place a quick kiss on his cheek and rush off to the bathroom. That was so awkward. I don't think I can even face him the rest of the night.
I run into the restroom and stand over the sink. I'm embarrassed and confused. Stephen loves me. He said it. I wasn't even expecting him to say that, but it shouldn't matter. I should have been able to say it back as soon as he said it, so why didn't I? I pull my hair up into a pony tail because it's getting hot.
I debate on whether or not I should call Alyssa and ask her about this. She knows more about this stuff than I do. I shake the thoughts from my head. I have to face this alone. Alyssa can't hold my hand through everything.
I exit out of the restroom and start to make my way towards the ball toss game. I'm walking when I hear someone shout. No one else around me hears it or they heard it, but decide to ignore it. I hide behind a tent and try to listen in on the conversation.
"You pushed my buttons too!" I hear someone whisper yell. It sounds like Stephen, but I'm not sure. If I try and take a peak, there's no doubt in my mind he will see me.
"But you took it too far! You want her to think your Mr. Perfect and shit when you're just as bad as me. Why don't you stop lying to her and tell her the truth Stephen and stop trying to play the victim." I recognize that voice from anywhere. It's Jordan. So something is up between them.
"I don't mind playing victim. As far as she's concerned, I'm the perfect boyfriend who will never hurt her and you're the fuck up who would hurt her. Just think about how many times you hurt her already." Stephen whispers to him.
"But yet, she keeps forgiving me and coming right back to me. What does that tell you, Stephen? She likes me. She cares about me. So don't get the big head and think you have some type of hold on her because you don't. It's only a matter of time before she dumps you to get with me." Jordan says back.
Are they really fighting over me? What do I have to do with them? I thought we all came to an agreement about this stuff.
"Whatever. She just told me she loves me on the Ferris wheel, so I doubt she'll be dumping me anytime soon." I can practically hear the smirk in Stephen's voice.
I gasp then cover my mouth. How could Stephen lie like that. He's lying to get under Jordan's skin, but why would he do that? If it were Jordan, I would expect him to do something like this, but not Stephen. He's never acted like that type of person. It makes me think that I don't know anything about him.
"Did you hear that?" Stephen asks Jordan. I take a step back just in case I have to pretend like I'm walking by or take off running.
"No. You're hearing things. Can we make this quick. Say whatever you had to say before I give up on trying to be civilized and go ahead and punch you in the face repeatedly." Jordan says.
"I don't want you to mention anything about what happened Monday to Abby. I want you to act like everything is fine between us and we hate each other like we normally do. Not a little more hate or a little less hate, but the same amount." Stephen says.
Jordan lets out a humorless laugh. "Fuck you, Stephen. I don't care about you keeping up your image for Abby. She's smart. She'll figure it out eventually because every time I see you, I want bang your head up against a brick wall. So don't tell me what you want because I could give two fucks about what you want."
I walk away not wanting to hear the rest of that conversation. I'm even more confused now. What does Stephen not want me to know? Why would Stephen and Jordan hate each other more? I must not have been paying attention because I bump into a firm chest. The person grabs my arms, keeping me steady. I look up to see it's Troy.
He recognizes me and smiles. "Hey, cutie. Why are you walking by yourself?"
"Troy, I need your help. Something's up with Stephen and Jordan. I just over heard a conversation they were having..." He cuts me off.
"So you were eavesdropping?" He smirks. I roll my eyes at how out of everything he could have commented on, he chooses the part where I was eavesdropping to comment on.
"Shut up and listen. Anyway, Stephen was talking about how Jordan shouldn't tell me something that happened between them and how they should act like they've been acting, but Jordan was like he doesn't care about helping him out or his image and that every time he sees Stephen he wants to smash his head up against a brick wall and I'm so confused because they're both keeping secrets from me and I..." Troy pinches my lips together and I raise an eyebrow.
He holds up a finger with his other hand. "One, you need to take a breath and calm down. You could be panicing for no reason. If anyone is going to tell you what's going on, it's going to be Jordan. He obviously doesn't care if you find out or not, so all you have to do is get him alone and ask him." He says.
He holds another finger up. "Two, you ramble a lot. You should get that checked out." He smiles.
I blush a little and nod my head. "How am I going to get Jordan alone. Stephen is going to want me to be with him. Not Jordan. He kind of just told me he loves me and I still haven't responded yet."
Troy grabs my arm and turns me around fast. "He said what?!"
I'm not sure if I should say it again or not. "He told me he loves me." I say.
"That sneaky little bastard," He looks away and runs a hand through his hair then turns back to me, "Do you feel the same way about him?" He asks.
I think about the question. I still haven't answered that question yet. I don't know if I can. "I don't know." I say.
Troy sighs in relief. "You don't love him. That was a close one." He smiles.
I become angry. "Who are you tell me who I love and don't love?!" I ask.
He throws his hands up in front of him. "Woah, calm down. All I'm saying is if you love him, you wouldn't have said I don't know. It's either a yes or a no. I don't know is just another way of saying you want to feel the same way, but you don't so you're trying to prolong telling that person you don't feel the same way. It's like giving a person false hope when you already know in your mind what the answer is."
I let his words wash over me and I realize he's right. I know the answer to the question, I've just been prolonging it. I don't love Stephen. I do like him, but I don't love him. Especially after tonight. It's becoming hard to know who to trust.
"Yo, Ryan... And Jordan and Stephen." Troy says. I turn around to see them all walking towards us. I don't even want to look at Jordan or Stephen. They're lying and keeping secrets from me.
"Hey, babe." Stephen says. He tries to grab my hand, but I move away from him. Confusion flashes in his eyes, but I act like I don't notice.
I turn to Jordan. "I'm ready to go home. Can we leave now?" I ask. I feel really emotional right now and it's taking everything in me not to cry. I feel like I don't even know Stephen or Jordan. Right when I think I'm getting somewhere with Jordan he proves to me that I've been circling around the same tree and rock. He only lets me in so far to where it satisfies me.
"I can drive you home. I'm sure Ryan and Troy aren't ready to leave yet." Stephen offers.
"Actually," Troy says, "We're ready to go. We were just waiting on Abby, but she's ready so we're ready."
I remind myself to thank Troy later. "Okay, if you guys are ready to go then we can leave." Jordan says.
I nod my head and start to walk away, but Stephen grabs my hand and turns me back around. He places a kiss on my lips, but I don't kiss him back. He breaks the kiss and looks into my eyes like he's searching for something.
"What's wrong, Abby?" He whispers. I want to yell at him and tell him I'm tired of him keeping things from me, especially when they're about me, but instead I fake a smile.
"Nothing. Just tired. The rides have really gotten to me." I lie. Well, it isn't a complete lie. The rides have made me tired physically. While other things make me tired mentally.
"Okay, I'll call you later on tonight." He pecks my lips and I turn to walk away again, but he grabs my hand again and turns me around.
"I love you." He says. Those three words break me. I don't even know why I did it, but I started crying and then took off running. Maybe I was scared because I knew I couldn't say it back to him or maybe because this guy that knows almost everything about me said he loves me, but turns out to be nothing like I thought he was. He's a liar. He keeps secrets and I'm not sure if I know the real Stephen. I'm afraid to know what the real Stephen is like.
I'm running and crying. I probably look like a mad woman, but I don't care. I don't know who I can trust anymore. I hear my name being called, but I don't stop running. I can't speak to Stephen right now. I can't face him.
I'm sobbing hard and breathing harder, but I'm still running. I don't know where I plan to run to. I just run. I want to be away from them. Suddenly, my legs aren't touching the ground anymore. I start to kick and scream thinking someone is trying to kidnap me.
"Midget, calm down. It's me." Jordan is breathing heavy and struggling to keep me in his grasp. He was the one chasing after me.
"You're a liar! Put me down! Get away from me!" I cry and yell. I continue to struggle to get out of his grasp, but it's no use. Jordan is way stronger than me.
"Midget, please stop. Tell me what's wrong and I'll fix it. Just please stop." He looks into my eyes and holds me close to him.
Somehow we both managed to get on the ground and I'm in between his legs while he's holding me. I start to cry into his chest and he holds me and rocks us back and forth. My phone won't stop buzzing and his won't stop either.
After a while, I calm down and listen to his heart beat. It's steady. Almost as if he's comfortable around me. Key word, almost. He's rubbing up and down my arm causing me to have goosebumps, but at the same time it's soothing to me.
"Are you going to tell me what made you go all crazy back there?" He asks.
I don't look up at him, but I know he's smirking. I start to play with a loose string in his shirt. "What are you and Stephen keeping from me?" I ask.
Before he can respond with his answer, I speak again. "Don't say nothing, because I heard you guys talking earlier today. It's something going on." I say.
I turn to look at him and he's studying me. It's like he's trying to calculate my mood. He sighs and pulls me close to him again. His gesture catches me off guard, but I don't move. I wait for him to tell me everything.
"I can't tell you right now. It's not the right place to tell you, but tomorrow I can tell you. I'll tell you everything. You just have to trust me." He says.
"I don't know if I can trust you, Jordan. I'm tired of the lies and secrets. I don't have to know everything, but when it involves me, I would like to know." I tell him.
He nods his head. "I know and I promise to tell you tomorrow. At my house if you want, just please let it go for tonight. I need you to trust me, Midget. Can you trust me?" He asks.
Can I trust Jordan? I mean, he is here being a good friend and comforting me. I slowly nod my head. "I trust you, Giant."
He smiles a little and kisses me on top of the head. "That's all I needed to hear, Midget." He whispers.