Chapter 39: mirroring my poems.

it's her.Words: 1894

every time

before I start writing

it's a blank page

which much potential

it's something I'll write

to reach a place in your head

now

I am running through my chapters

I am reading my own poems

and

I never saw myself so differently

it's like

every poem is my own little session

of therapy

I read through

pain and loss

and wanting sex

I read through

poems about heart break,

about my ex

it's the story of my family

and how I lived at home

it's moving into a bigger city,

about how much I've grown

it's trying to catch up

with the horror of my past

and trying to realise

that pain doesn't need to last

until now

now I re-read my own kind of art

and realise

how much I've done to change

I realise

that I ain't the same

anymore

it's so much, so much, so much more

I adore the broken words

the scars inside those lines

I fall for my question marks

and the tiny little signs

of

asking for a touch

and a bit of love

I am proud to

write about the stuff

I always feared to take off

it's pretty personal

but didn't need to wear my name

I felt like a broken soul

but I don't need someone to blame

cause if it wasn't poetry

then I am curing myself

and I am happy to write this

right now

cause there is so much I've been through

and

I never loved myself as much as I do now

this page here

seemed blank as I started to write,

but it already was fulfilled with potential

and I see myself as a blank page too sometimes

so I decided

to fill the stories at myself

no one else will ever leave his letters on my skin again

I've got too much potential

and this blank space is only meant for me

I am mirroring my poems

and my look has changed

this doesn't mean

that you're not allowed to lay your hands on me

just like you did last night

this doesn't mean

that you're not allowed to touch every syllable

and come between the lines

it's just

my poetry, my body

all of this is mine

and I won't give myself away this time