Chapter 21: Chapter 20

“I really don’t want to go,” I complained. I have tests tomorrow and I don’t want to get wasted or anything. But Toby was determined to get me out. He took my key from me just so I wouldn’t be able to sneak out and come back to the safety of my room.

“Its going to be fun. I won’t let you leave till midnight.” he smiled as he put my key in his pocket. I just about whined like a child, its not fair.

“Its nine!” I said.

“Exactly, now lets go have happy fun time.” he shoved me out. Wow, and I thought I could’ve gotten through that one easily. I don’t even like Jesse’s friends, she knows how to pick the stuck up people...but not me though. I trudged on, groaning and complaining. The last thing I wanted to be doing is meeting up another pair of girls. LAST TIME DIDN’T GO SO WELL. I don’t give a fuck if I know these two are human, I don’t want to do this.

We met up outside the café. I would have gone inside but Toby is literally holding me down. I can’t escape from this awful thing. What is this? A double blind date? I doubt we’re just going to chill, I know what happens on nights like these. If Toby thinks this will help me then he’s out of his mind. This isn’t going to do anything for me, its just a pain to be out here.

Veronica walked next to me as Toby was already putting a move on Kaitlyn. I wasn’t surprised to see that though, I could I be? It was just sad that it hasn’t even been ten minutes yet.

" So I guess this is some sort of set up.” Veronica said, smacking her gum. She’s from Boston and yes she sounds like she just moved here. She doesn’t even try to at least tone it down. I wouldn’t mind much if she didn’t talk. Her voice is high and pitchy and makes me want to punch myself.

“You know Toby,” I sighed.

“Right. He’s been flirting with Kaitlyn for the longest time.” she said. “Jesse doesn’t like it though, says she should just blow him off.” Of course Jesse would say something like that, they never got along at all.

“Of course.”

“But you know she says she misses you.” she added like I said nothing.

“Misses me my ass, she broke up with me.” I said.

“Ya, she said you kissed a guy.” she smacked her gum. Do girls really gossip like this? I thought it was only in shows. Its stupid to spread the wrong thing. KELLIN KISSED ME.

“You girls get everything wrong.” I said, annoyed. I’m about to turn back and go. I don’t care if I don’t have my key.

“So you didn’t-”

“Lets not talk about this,” I said quickly before she could say anymore. I can’t stand her talking. Toby owes me for this, I swear. I don’t want to be here right now, I want to be alone in my room. It isn’t fair.

Veronica was silent, except for flipping her brown hair so many times and obnoxiously chewing her gum. Why do people do that? Its more annoying than anything, but I tried to hold through it. Just three more hours till I’m gone. Toby can have the both of them and I can go study.

“You still have feelings for Jesse?” Veronica asked, twirling her hair as she smacked her gum some more.

“Hell no.” I responded without thought. Its not like I needed to think on it anyway. She was just a no. I knew it was going to end but I just didn’t know it would be so early.

“So you’re free?” she asked. I know what she’s doing; she’s trying to hook up with me. Is she kidding? Did Toby know this? I wanted to walk faster and get away but that is so rude.

“Isn’t there a code that says don’t go out with the best friend’s ex?” I asked.

“But you would say yes if I asked you?” she asked.

“No.” I answered coldly. I really wouldn’t, she isn’t my type. But what angers me that she’s trying to get to me. I wanted to say I was taken but how could I hold a lie like that?.....I’ll kill Kellin.

“Jesse said you would object,” she didn’t even seem hurt by it.

“Jesse says a lot of things. Are we going to keep talking about it?” I asked her, getting kind of rude. I couldn’t help my tone because I was really annoyed at this point. I already reached my limit and I can’t take it.

“Just wondering.” she shrugged and did her routine; smack her gum, flip her hair, smack her gum some more. I pulled my lips in tightly as I focused on something else, but then I realized I couldn’t do it. I’m about to be a huge douche.

“Hey Toby,” I called to him; he and Kaitlyn turned around at the same time to look at me. Even more attention, that’s fantastic. I don’t need this right now. “Listen, I tried man, but I really have to go and do...stuff.” I said. He narrowed his eyes at me. He knew I would do this, he knew yet he still brought me out here.

“Do what you have to but I’ll kill you afterwards.” he said. That’s cool too. He can do whatever he wants but I know he won’t stay mad. I’m surprised he didn’t tell me he liked the girl though; did he think I would be like Jesse and not approve because I honestly do not give a shit. He can be with who ever he wants.

So I left and headed back. I wasn’t interested in staying; why would I waste someone else’s time? It was still cold and I wanted to go home. Being outside isn’t something I enjoy anymore, its like being pushed out of my comfort zone. I hate it.

Arms wrapped around me like they used to. I knew it was Kellin, who else would do this to me? I held my breath as I stopped walking. This was still a bit much for me; after my big rampage yesterday, I don’t know what to feel. I didn’t say anything as he put his head on my shoulder. He was quiet too which is weird for him. I wasn’t going to question it much, I shouldn’t care.

His body was warm on mine which made me a bit shaky. When he’s like this, I get confused. I know what he is but its sort of hard to keep it in my thoughts. What if he were still human? Would I feel any different for him? I shook that out of my mind, it would only make me depress to wish for things that can’t happen.

“You’re so warm.” he said, his face nuzzling closer to my neck. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he’s sniffing me. I didn’t find this annoying or disturbing or anything, its normal I guess. He does this, he always did this.

“I’m tired.” I said to him. But that was a lie, I just wanted to go sit around and do nothing while I stare at the wall. He let go of me and didn’t attempt to touch me again. I hate how it is now, I know he’s going to be super cautious with everything he does. I didn’t like him being resistant because it isn’t like him. He’s supposed to be annoying as fuck and get on my nerves. I don’t like this one bit.

But what kind of thing do I say? Do I just invite him? He just might take it the wrong way and attack me like usual. But who says I don’t want that....my face turned red as I tried to cover it up. He can feel when I get nervous. Wow, this is embarrassing. And I was thinking about how to get Kellin to come with me. Maybe I should let it go because I don’t need the physical pain.

“I’ll come with you.” he said. I choked. How did he fucking know?! I tried for a come back but I couldn’t get one in time.

“Whatever,” I murmured and continued to walk on. He followed behind me quietly; he’s watching, I can feel him watching me. It sent chills down my spine. Those silver eyes just looking me over, I know every time he’s doing it and now would be the time. My lip twitched as I tried to focus, he knows when I get all cloudy so I have to stop.

I tried but it didn’t work. He caught on so quickly. How could I deny how I was feeling to him? TO HIM? He always did say I could never lie to him, he would know. Its not that I wasn’t aware but I was hoping he let me go free to cry about it on my own. That’s not how it happened. I couldn’t stand a chance against him.

We made it to my room before anything tipped off. He wanted to get my clothes off so badly and I wanted him to do it too. I couldn’t take these barriers in between, it was such a pain. I didn’t care that I was being so eager for him to do this, how could I not be when he makes me feel like this?

I could feel his teeth on my neck as he kissed my skin. His body rubbed against me, causing the unbearable friction between our crotches. My hands tightened on his shoulders as he kept moving, making me moan. The space in my pants couldn’t get any tighter now. His rubbed against mine and it made my hips stir. I gasped and panted as I begged him to not go so slow. It was driving me crazy. I wanted him to undress me and do all kinds of things. I wanted it.

He was making me beg for it and that’s what pained me. I didn’t want to wait. I was throbbing so much, I’m sure he could make me come this way so easily. I could already feel it. He shouldn’t tease me so much.

“Kellin, please.” I gasped.

“So impatient.” he moaned. No, he’s taking too long. His hands slithered into my shirt and pulled it off me. “Tell me something, Pierce.” he looked me in the eyes. “Do you honestly love me?” he asked. My mouth opened, ready to give him an answer but I stopped short. Is this some kind of humiliation thing? He knows how I feel. I guess yesterday was just something that happened. I was angry and upset and I wasn’t thinking straight. He would doubt anything that came out of my mouth.

“Yes,” I answered finally. He smiled, a genuine smile. It made my heart drop how happy he looked. Its not like every other time, this is so different. I think I’m hyperventilating right now.

“Finally,” he said. He shouldn’t make that kind of face to me, it makes me feel some type of way. Why is he so happy for? Is my heart supposed to be beating this way? I’m nervous again.

He kissed me slowly as his hand pulled my hair back. This is different but I liked it. Seeing him like this....its nice. Who knew all that could put a smile on his face.

I felt my head pounding when I woke up; it was like a hammer cracking my skull. It hurt like a bitch. I need some pills or something to get rid of this pain. I threw the sheets off me and got out of bed, feeling the pain in my back no later. I groaned.

Last night is probably one of the most embarrassing nights of my life. One, because I had to admit that I in fact do love Kellin. Two, we didn’t have sex last night. Oh no. What we did back there was made love. I swear on my life that I wanted to run into a wall. Any common person would know the difference between fucking and....that. And what happened last night was...that. I can’t go on with something like this. My face burned red as I thought about it. Something please hit me on the head, I’m begging here.

I put my jeans on from last night and pulled a shirt over my head. I have a long while before I have to go in for my tests, I might as well hang out here or something. I walked out of my room, running my hand through my hair, as I saw the one view I wish I would never see. Oh my god. Does he find this funny? Kellin was still here and cooking. For me? Where the hell is my spoon?

“Stop,” I dragged on. He only laughed without acknowledging me. Can he put a shirt on, please? I didn’t want to be here. I trudged on and took a seat by the counter. This sight displeases me to the core.

“Do you even know how to cook?” I asked. He shrugged, already finished with what he made.

“I’ve never done it this way,” he said. Of course. I forgot he’s old.

“Can you even eat human food?” I asked bleakly. I’m sure this will be bullshit. He handed me a plate of what looked like the greatest thing on the planet. What the hell?

“I can but my body will reject it after a while.” he said. I stared at it for a moment. He knows I like eggs with cheese stuffed inside. I remember how sometimes at the orphanage we would get something like this once every blue moon. And if I was lucky, there’d be bacon inside. Kellin has turned this into a nightmare.

“Do you want me to feed you?” he asked. That set me off.

“Hell no, get away from me.” I grabbed the fork from him and poked at the eggs. I was starving so I might as well eat. I ripped off a small piece with my fork and put it in my mouth.

I think I tasted heaven. Either that or hell is fantastic. This was a freakin mazing. I bet Kellin practiced, there is absolutely no way he can do this.

“You’re dying.” he said.

“I know.” I murmured. How the hell does this happen? I didn’t want to seem so eager to eat it but I need to put this in my mouth. He’s just going to smug smile like that anyway so it doesn’t matter how I take this. God, this is amazing. Would it be too sissy to cry about it because that’s what I feel like doing. He’s perfect in every aspect of everything.

I over obsessively ate as he took care of dishes. I won’t be able to breathe if I keep this up but I liked this so much. I guess its nice....Whatever. I twirled the fork around in my mouth as the cheese melted on my tongue. This is something I might have dreams about. Food never tasted so great.

And then I thought something completely unrelated to this.

“Can you tell me about that night?” I asked quietly. He stopped moving, going still as stone. He didn’t plan on talking about that.

“I-”

“I just want to know, that’s all.” I said. I want to uncover everything. No more secrets because that last one destroyed me. Kellin still wasn’t sure about something like this, then again, I wasn’t either. How would I respond?

“What do you want to know?” he asked.

“Just tell me about it.” I said. He went silent for a moment; it sucks that I couldn’t see his face with his back turned to me. I wanted to know what he’s thinking and feeling. I mean, I have to know all this or it will just haunt me for the rest of my life.

“There were five of us that night; we happened to branch away from Dante and go hunting on our own. There was no one else we could find except um.....you and your parents.” he said. “So we just....” he stopped there, I knew the rest.

“Did you leave me?” I asked.

“I didn’t want to but Dante would never let us take a child.” he said. “He took you somewhere, I don’t know where, but I still went looking for you.”

“So you let me stay in crap houses when you could’ve probably dumped me somewhere else?” I asked. He sighed and shook his head.

“I knew that question would come.” he said to himself.

“Well I mean yeah, why would you just now want to show yourself to me?” I asked.

“I couldn’t before but then I just got impatient.” he said. “And then that girl,” he growled lowly. He crushed the bowl in his hand without effort. That’s my fucking silverware. He doesn’t understand how long it took for me to pay for all this shit.

“Jesse’s gone thanks to you.” I twirled my fork around on my food, trying to ignore the fact that HE JUST BROKE A BOWL.

“She was annoying anyway,” he sneered.

“Do you get jealous easily?” I asked.

“Hell yeah,” he answered without a second thought. I have a clingy vampire, out of probably the ones I could’ve gotten, I got the clingy one. That made me sigh. Maybe I should just go sleep or something, I’m super tired. I hopped off the chair and started walking back to my room when he came and wrapped his arms around me. I waited till he knew I wanted him to let go of me; he will probably never know I guess.

“Kellin?”

“Hmm.”

“Get the hell off me,” I said kindly. He hugged me tighter though; I hated when he does this from behind, it makes me feel all awkward and I know what he’s aiming for next.

“Say you love me,”

“Don’t fucking push it!” I shouted as I felt my face turn red.

“Say it for me, Pierce,” his hands were slipping in my shirt and I knew if I didn’t say it, there would be a problem. Now I’m on the spot and I wanted to not be there. But the more I stall, the further he gets and soon I will have no dignity left. I wish this wasn’t how it was going to happen.

“I love you,” I murmured bitterly.

“Again.” he said. My lips trembled as I opened my mouth again. Am I nervous?

“I love you,” I said through tight lips. There will never be a day when I say this so freely, I think I have a slight problem I guess. I know what I’m feeling but expressing them using words is not my thing. This makes me a bit tingly and it hurts.

“Again.” he laughed.

“Kellin, I will shove a spoon through your face if you don’t let go of me,” I yelled.

“Baby please,” he begged. I HATE WHEN HE SAYS SOMETHING LIKE THAT AFTER A THREAT. Masochist. His hands gripped at my waist and bucked my hips back against him. It made me yelp because I wasn’t expecting that at all.

“Let go,” I tried to wrench away from him but of course there’s no way to get away from his iron grip. I should know he wouldn’t go far because he’s cold as fuck, there’s no way he can get it up.

“Can I try something?” he asked.

“Hell no, get away from me.” I still struggled. His cold breath hit the skin of my neck causing me to shiver uncontrollably. It occurred to me what he was aiming for, I was prepared to not have him do that but I lost my voice, I couldn’t protest against it much. His arms around me loosened but then he kissed my neck, keeping his lips there. Slower and slower, he moved before I could feel his cold teeth. I said nothing just to let him continue.

He licked my skin then bit me. It didn’t hurt like it did last time; that day was hell, this was different. Sure the rippling pain that felt like my neck could be torn apart was still there but its not like I was reacting from it. I didn’t cry or anything, I held it all in and let him do whatever because screaming and crying is completely useless. His hand moved under my face, moving my head back. He’s basically digging into my neck. Now it hurt. How does he do something like this? I clenched my teeth down to keep from screaming but it did hurt. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell him to stop.

I felt hot and I knew something was going on with me. I’m supposed to be in pain, I’m supposed to hate it, but it was the complete opposite. God, what is wrong with me now? His hand moved up and soon he had two fingers in my mouth. He knows? They pressed down on my tongue to open my mouth wider. I can’t believe he’s doing this to me now. Is he an idiot. First he’s sucking my blood and now this. I can’t punch him in the face for it because I’m just weak.

His teeth let go of my skin but he licked over it. I would say he would go for it again. His fingers were still moving in my mouth, making me suck on them. I couldn’t tell him to stop it. His other hand moved to the front of my pants. How can he want to now after last night? My body still aches from that. I groaned when his fingers went deeper in my mouth. If he doesn’t stop, I don’t know what I’ll feel like in the next second. His skin was warm now and we know what that means. I’m a goner.

I couldn’t move. Its like I was paralyzed in some areas. I grabbed at my sheets, getting infuriated quickly despite how out of breath and tired I was. I will murder Kellin if its the last thing I do.

“I hate you,” I said through my teeth. He laughed though, finding it amusing.

“Not what you said five minutes ago.” he said and kissed behind my ear. I’m still vulnerable with him on top of me like this. I pushed his face away and crawled out from underneath him. He’s a fucking predator, that’s what. I grabbed some clothes and put it on before he pulled me back on the bed. Why does he do this to me?

“You look a mess,” I said, hoping that will make it him stop it. After sex, he doesn’t function, he gets so weak that even I could probably fight him.

“I’m sure you can fix that for me.” he licked my neck. Unfortunately, this horny bastard doesn’t lose the will to actually want to fuck. It makes me mad. I tried to push him away from me but I can’t be surprised that its still a struggle.

“Get off me, Kellin.” I shouted. He pinned my arms down as his tongue trailed up my neck. I bit my lip to keep from squealing.

“Tell me you love me.” he said.

“I said it five minutes ago.” I threw that right back at him.

“Say it again.”

“Get off me.” I thrashed around violently. He sat up to look at me with sad eyes. My lip twitched as I watched him. Why is he doing that for? It made me uncomfortable to see him like this so I had no choice. I murmured my statement quietly.

“What was that?” he asked, coming closer to me. His face was just centimeters from mine; I could feel his cool breath on my skin. I paused, hesitating a bit because I was caught off guard.

“I...um love you,” I muttered. He pressed his lips to mine, kissing me softly as he pushed me down further on the bed. No. I couldn’t push him away from me like this.

His tongue moved in my mouth, already rubbing on mine. I was so hot in contrast to him. I didn’t move, he would have to stop some time. But what shocked me was how he handled my silent resistance. He was sucking on my tongue. I started to tremble from feeling this, my whole body was shaking and heating up. This isn’t something I expected. I couldn’t keep up with him to actually hold my tongue out. I wanted him to stop or I just might get hard again.

I tried to get out of his hold, even just a bit but it I couldn’t. He licked and sucked my tongue, dominating my mouth. My face became heated, I tried not to get drowned in all this. I was losing.

When I thought he wouldn’t let go....for probably forever he’s hands loosened on my arms as he pulled away. I didn’t know what to address first, the fact that I was horny again or that I wanted to punch him in the face. Either way though, I’d end up screwed. I couldn’t say anything to him and I didn’t intend to after he tried to EAT MY TONGUE. This whole thing needs to stop because I’m not taking it well.

“Well I’m done for the day,” he got off my bed.

“You annoying piece of shit,” I threw stuff around in anger. How is he going to say something like that and expect me to not rage. If anything, I should be able to throw him out.

“What? I’m leaving like you wanted.” he groaned.

“After you fucking molested me.” I shouted. He rolled his eyes.

“Don’t you have to be somewhere?” he asked. I grabbed my phone to check the time. Its already eleven. Shit.

“Thank you, Kellin, for making me late,” I said bitterly as I got off the bed. He smiled triumphantly as he watched me pass by. And here I thought I would have all morning to maybe sleep in but Kellin just had to be here. Now look at what I have to deal with.

I was putting on my shoes when Toby walked in. He looked a horrible mess and it made me laugh. I forgot I ditched him last night so he had to girls to handle. I wonder how that went.

“I should punch you in the face,” he murmured as he dropped his jacket and everything else in his hands on the floor. Guess who’s going to end up picking all of his shit up. Me!

“How’d it go? You have a threesome?” I asked, smiling. I didn’t feel sorry for leaving one bit.

“No but that’s what I’ll be telling everyone.” he sighed and ran his hands through his hair as he walked over to the fridge. He’s such a douche sometimes, ruining those girls’ reputations. “But listen, Ms. Conney yelled at me for more complaints when I walked in.” he said. Ms. Conney is the land lord of this fucking huge place. She’s old and mean and doesn’t let me off the hook for rent cause I’m poor.

“What is it this time?” I asked.

“Its still all the noise. She says that we do have neighbors and the sex should be kept to a minimum. But I don’t do it here anymore and I know your game is weak now so I think she has us mixed with someone else.” he said, not even a bit sorry about the last part. I looked away, already knowing what the problem was. Dammit.

“We got the same complaint before.” I said.

“Yeah but that was for sure us, we were always yelling and jamming.” he shrugged. Little does he know that when he’s gone, Kellin shows up to have his wicked way with me. I don’t try to keep it down but they don’t know its me. “But she says if there’s another complaint, she’s gonna up our pay,” he groaned. I’m already poor, there’s no way I can pay anymore.

“You need to find a real job.” I said as I went to grab my stuff.

“Yeah I know,” he sighed. But I bet he’s not going to. Whatever. I left cause I really shouldn’t waste anymore time.

Everything was fine till I saw Kellin. I sighed obnoxiously as I walked up to him. This is the third time he’s doing this to me. For once can he not?

“What the absolute fu-” I stopped when he waved my phone around in front of me. I patted down every pocket I had. Not there. Punch me. I reached for my phone but he only raised his arm. We are about the same height, that can’t work on me.

“How about you climb and reach for it?” he suggested. That’s a sexual reference. Nope. I walked around him, not even caring. I have warranty on that so I’ll ask for a new one then. He followed me anyway, handing me my phone. I snatched it from him.

“What are you doing? You know we’ve been getting noise complaints because of you,” I hissed.

“No, because of you. But I guess it would be my fault for being good at taking care of you,” he smirked.

“Shut up,” I said quickly, my face turning red. “You need to stop.”

“Or you can bang on the walls and beg for mercy,” he said.

“This is why I-”

“Love me?” he finished for me. Not even what I was going to say. “Yeah I already know that.” he said and got closer. It made me stop walking. He was so close to me and in public like this. This is why there’s rumors spreading, I can’t deal with that. I looked around for a moment, hoping there could be something that could distract him. And then I saw his friend.

“Look look look, isn’t that your friend or something?” I pointed to him quickly. Kellin didn’t even take a glance in his direction.

“If you want to get rid of me, you know what to do.” he said and meant it. I frowned as I looked at him.

“How about we make a deal instead?” I suggested.

“I’m listening.”

“You leave me alone, and I’ll reward you later.” I said. His eyes flared, it was like looking into an animal’s eyes that just saw food. Should I be scared? Probably. I didn’t really plan on doing anything but he’ll make it happen now.

“Alright, I know my prize anyway,” he put his hands in his pockets. I kept my frown on my face as I saw the smile on his. I’m going to die.