Chapter 57

AURORA

“Are you sure you’re okay to be out here?” Rin asked me, his concern evident. It was the tenth time he’d asked in the last half hour. The day had passed quietly since I’d managed to get up. As night fell, I’d asked him to take me to the palace roof to stargaze.

Stargazing was a tradition for us, a way to unwind and connect. But this time was different. I was still healing, and Rin was worried.

Ever since he’d seen me up and about, he’d been overly cautious. Despite everyone’s reassurances, including mine, he was still worried. I guess he was still shaken by everything that had happened.

I leaned back against him, shaking my head and touching his cheek. I could’ve used the tablet to communicate. It was tucked away in my dress, but I didn’t feel like it. He understood me without it, just like he had when we first met.

“Yes, I know,” Rin responded, a sheepish smile on his face. “I worry too much, don’t I?”

I nodded, snuggling into him. His arms tightened around me, and he kissed the top of my head.

“I admit, I was scared when you were taken away. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to go after you myself, but Father was right. It was too risky for both of us, and for Rayne. I couldn’t bear the thought of having to fight him. I’m glad you were able to do all that you did, that you could contact me and break that witch’s hold on him. And I’m especially relieved that you’re alive and will be all right,” he confessed.

I felt a pang of guilt for what he’d gone through, even though it wasn’t my fault. I hated seeing Rin upset. I turned in his arms and hugged him, closing my eyes and soaking in the comfort of his embrace. I felt him rest his head on mine, his fingers running through my hair.

This was what we needed; a quiet moment to comfort each other. We sat there for a while, and I was starting to drift off when I heard him sit up a little. I stayed where I was, listening as he spoke.

“Hey. Didn’t think I’d see you out here this late.”

“Not usually, and I don’t mean to interrupt, but I was having a hard time winding down and hoped you wouldn’t mind me joining you,” Rayne’s voice came.

I opened my eyes, sitting up a little with Rin. Rayne was standing near us, hands in his pockets. But his posture was tense, and his tail flicked nervously.

“No, we don’t mind,” Rin assured him. I nodded too, letting him know I was okay with it.

“Thank you. I was hoping I wouldn’t be intruding,” Rayne admitted as he sat down beside us.

“You’re not intruding, so stop thinking that,” Rin scolded him gently. He looked forward as he continued, “And it’s not like I’m ever going to blame you for anything that happened. We all know what it really was.”

“I know, but I guess guilt is a strong thing, especially when it comes to you and me, and you know it’s not only because of all of this,” Rayne reminded him.

“You’re talking about when we were kids, aren’t you? Still hanging onto that stuff, huh?” Rin noted. “Self-blame is just as strong as guilt. You know that.”

“You do realize that there’s never been any reason for you to feel that way. You were always one of the main ones defending me when we were growing up, and I know you’ve continued to do it even after I left,” Rin stated.

Rayne let out a long sigh. “I did, and I’ll never stop doing it. You’re my brother, my ~twin~, and I could never abandon you or let others say unjust things about you. But moving on, I did want to talk about some things between us now, and I don’t mind if Aurora hears them. She deserves to be able to, especially after everything that’s happened since she’s come here.”

“True,” Rin agreed, hugging me a little tighter. “So, what did you want to start with? I’m guessing there’s plenty for us to say.”

“No kidding. It seems like you and I have been dancing around a lot of stuff between us ever since we can remember,” Rayne noted.

“I don’t see it that way. It’s not like you weren’t honest with me about a lot of things, and you did defend me a lot, just like our parents. You were always there for me too even before my father died. Well, I guess having to leave us is the better way of saying it,” Rin responded.

Rayne smiled. “Yes, I always did my best to help you whenever I could, but I confess that I always felt like I could never do enough. I knew it was hard on you to be here with others whispering about you, and I hated it as much as Father always did. So what if you were born a fox? We were born together, and you’ve never been any less than me.”

“I get it, Rin. I never blamed you, or Dad, or Mom for anything anyone else said. I left because I wanted to see what life was like outside of all this. Even if it bothered me, I did it because I needed to know if I was as strong as I thought,” Rin told him.

I felt it was time for me to speak up. If they were going to involve me, I should share my thoughts. I pulled out my tablet. “I don’t know much about what happened when you guys were kids, but I don’t think it was wrong for Rin to want to leave. He wasn’t planning to leave forever, even if he was stubborn about coming back.”

“She’s right. I wasn’t planning on it being forever. Just until I could figure some things out,” Rin confirmed.

“Just wondering, were you planning on coming back after you found Aurora?” Rayne asked him.

Rin shrugged. “Eventually, but I liked our life out there. It felt normal, like what life would be if I wasn’t an heir to this throne.”

Rayne’s gaze faltered and he looked away. “It was an escape, wasn’t it?”

“You could say that, even if it was selfish for both me and her,” Rin admitted.

“Maybe, but I can’t blame you. You’re stronger than me in so many ways. I’ve felt the urge to leave too, to escape from everyone’s expectations. But I could never do it. I was always worried about how it would affect Mom, Selenia, and especially Dad. Even though he loves us equally, I’m his biological son and one of the last Luna Dogs left. I couldn’t bear the thought of hurting him like that. It was bad enough that he was hurt thinking he’d lost you,” Rayne confessed.

So both of them had felt the weight of their birthright. I wondered if everyone destined to carry on a family legacy felt the same. Even though Selenia was their sister, she wasn’t going to rule these lands. That was clear. The ones who were meant to inherit and protect the Northern Lands were the firstborn males.

Rin looked regretful as he listened. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you felt that way. You always seemed happy here,” he apologized.

“I was, but I wasn’t,” Rayne replied, his ears drooping. “I loved being here with my parents, you, and Selenia, but as I got older, I felt the same as you described. Like something was missing. After you left in the middle of the night, I started thinking maybe you were right, and maybe what I was missing was freedom.”

“But it wasn’t really freedom, was it?” Rin guessed.

“It was loneliness,” I added.

“It was,” Rayne agreed.

Rin let out a long sigh. “That’s why you thought you were so interested in Aurora. It wasn’t just the spell. You were jealous because you realized you wanted something more like what I’d found.”

“I’m so sorry. I dragged you and Aurora into my messed-up feelings and it could’ve torn us apart forever. I’ve hated myself for that. How could I do that to her, to you?” Rayne said.

He was really beating himself up over everything that had happened. But that didn’t seem right to me or Rin. Rayne wasn’t a spiteful or mean person. He was just as lonely as his brother, living in a world that had revered him since birth because of who his father was and his status as an alpha.

“Listen,” Rin finally said after a few minutes of silence. “I’ve already told you that I’m not going to blame you for anything, and I wouldn’t blame Aurora either. You don’t blame him either, do you?”

I shook my head. “No, of course not.”

“And there you have it,” Rin concluded.

Rayne wasn’t quite ready to let it go. “But I knew what I was doing even with that control breaking me down.”

“So what?” Rin countered. “Come on, Rayne. We both know how things work in this world. We’re both equal alphas, and Aurora hadn’t chosen either of us at that time. I could talk all day about claiming her, but you could challenge me until the day she chose me. So let’s put this behind us and start fresh. What do you say, Amore?”

“I completely agree. I don’t hold anything against you, Rayne. What’s done is done. But we can still be family and friends, right?” I asked.

Our words seemed to surprise him, but he quickly composed himself, a grateful smile spreading across his face.

“Yes, we can, and I want that for all of us. Things have been rough for a while, but maybe they’ll get better now that we’re all free from what’s been weighing on our family.”

“I know they will, and we’ll work things out in time. We always have before,” Rin assured him. He looked up at the moon, now high in the sky. “It’s gotten pretty late though, so I’m going to take Aurora inside to get some rest. You should do the same. You’re still recovering too.”

Rayne agreed as we all stood up. “You’re right, and I will. Thank you for listening to me too.”

“Hey, we said what we needed to for a long time. Besides, why wouldn’t I? We’ve always listened to each other before,” Rin reminded him.

“Can’t argue with that,” Rayne admitted, his eyes meeting mine. “Thanks for giving me another shot at making things right with you. I hope we can move forward from here.”

I shared his hope. I’d always wanted us to be close, and now that we’d cleared the air, it seemed more possible than ever.

Soon after, Rin scooped me up, carrying me to our room and shutting the window behind us.

“I’m glad Rayne wanted to clear the air. It feels like it’s been ages since we’ve had a real conversation,” he admitted.

“You two are still tight, even if you haven’t been communicating as much as you should,” I pointed out.

“That’s true, and I don’t think anything could ever change that,” Rin agreed. He moved closer, gently tracing a claw over my stitches. “They seem to be holding up, but you might want to bandage them for the night, just to be safe.”

I shook my head. “I’m fine. Most of the internal healing is done, and I’ve felt great today. Emelio even said I might be able to get these stitches out in a few days.”

Rin smiled, chuckling softly. “You’re always stronger than we give you credit for.”

“You’re starting to sound like Emelio,” I teased.

“Maybe a bit. But let’s get some sleep. It’s past midnight, and we could both use the rest.”

“But I’m not tired,” I protested. I’d been unconscious for five days, and sleep was the last thing on my mind. I wanted to spend every possible moment with Rin now that we were reunited.

Rin put his hands on his hips, looking slightly irritated.

“Amore, you need to rest if you want to recover fully,” he reminded me.

I stood my ground, feeling a bit daring. Maybe it was the time I’d spent with him, or maybe it was the fact that I was now his full beta.

“I’ll recover, but it’s been too long since we’ve been close. I want tonight,” I insisted.

Rin raised an eyebrow. “Your night, huh?”

“Yes, my night. Even if we have to take it slow, I want us to make love again.”

Rin didn’t seem too surprised. I’d tried to seduce him before, so it wasn’t unusual for me to express my desire for him. But he wasn’t immediately convinced.

“As much as I hate to deny us that, I’m not sure it’s a good idea yet. You could hurt yourself if you strain your neck,” he cautioned.

“I know, but I can be careful,” I promised.

I said that, but I wasn’t entirely sure. All I knew was that I craved that closeness with him.

I could see my persistence was wearing him down. He could never deny me this, and I suspected he wanted it just as much. There were few nights since we’d met that we hadn’t spent together. The rumors about a fox’s libido were true, and mine was starting to match his. He had changed me in so many ways.