Chapter 39

I couldn’t say that there had been a time since Rayne and I met that I’d feared his temper. No, I didn’t like bringing up certain things to him, but it was more to avoid hurting him due to my own sense of self-blame.

Yet the longer we’d been together, the more I’d begun to realize that maybe Rayne carried the same feelings deep inside of him. Feelings he couldn’t show anyone whether out of guilt or pride.

These thoughts clouded my mind as I stepped out into the courtyard and looked around. It was early morning and the palace was mostly quiet.

But then, the majority of our family was still gathered inside. Lumae had given me an hour to bring Rayne back.

Not much time when I thought about it, but I was determined to do it. He needed to be part of this solution, not continue to fight against it.

The problem was that I was struggling to find him. I’d already spent nearly twenty minutes searching the palace, and the only place left was the courtyard.

~Maybe I should’ve asked Emelio to help me locate him~, I thought. I huffed to myself, crossing my arms and stepping forward.

No way. I didn’t need any help.

He was my alpha, and I should’ve been able to handle something like this. “Okay, Rayne,” I spoke out loud as I continued walking. “You’ve got to be out here and I know you can hear me. Can’t we talk about all of this between us?”

A few minutes of silence passed before I heard him respond to me, “So you did come looking for me.”

I stopped, turning toward the direction I’d heard him speak from, and saw him sitting on a branch high in one of the trees. His back was rested against the trunk and his tail twitched as it hung down.

He was looking forward, apparently not wishing to face me yet. I thought about flying up there but decided it was better to simply stand under the tree and talk to him for now.

“Of course I was,” I responded as I stood under him. “You did storm out of there, and I didn’t want to do anything without you being part of it.”

“It doesn’t matter whether or not I am. They will decide what they wish in this. Having me around is simply a formality.” Rayne stated.

I frowned at him. “No it’s not. You’re my alpha, so you need to be part of it.”

“What does that matter? They will do as they see fit whether I like it or not. That’s simply how it works when the Higher Ones become involved.” Rayne contended.

“Maybe some of that is true, but I won’t allow anything to be done to me without you involved. You and I are supposed to be one, so it needs to stay that way.” I countered.

Rayne let out a long breath, closing his eyes as if to keep himself in check. “Honestly, Luna, do you believe that matters to them? You and I are simply means to an end to ensure this world remains peaceful, and if something happens to us, then there’s always backup with Rin and Aurora.”

“Maybe we are, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t have a say in what happens to us. I won’t simply bow to whatever is suggested, even if they believe it is to help me. I also won’t listen to it without you by my side. Your opinion of what’s suggested is more important to me than anyone else’s.” I informed him.

Rayne was quiet as he heard this, though I saw his ears go back. That was usually the sign that what I’d said had gotten to him.

Finally, he jumped down to stand with me. “You do realize that what I think won’t matter to them. The last thing in the world I want is to put you in danger, yet it appears that they wish to do precisely that.” He reminded me.

“I know,” I acknowledged. “But we can’t prevent everything, and sometimes you need to take risks to finish things. Besides, I may not have been much of a fighter before, but I can learn to do so now. I’m tired of simply standing back and allowing everyone else to defend me.”

Rayne pulled me into a loving embrace. “It doesn’t matter whether you let us defend you. You’re mine, so I should be doing that.” He softly insisted.

“I know, but you can’t do it forever, Rayne. I need to stand up for myself too, and I should’ve been doing it from the day we met. Part of this is my fault too.” I told him.

“No, it’s not. The ones who started all of this are the ones at fault, especially those who would turn to one like your father.”

“But I’m the one who allowed it all to get worse and worse.”

“It doesn’t matter!” Rayne responded, hugging me tighter. “It shouldn’t matter what any think of you. All that matters is that you’re mine!”

“But it doesn’t work that way and you know it!” I disagreed as I pulled away from him. “You can’t change things if you just stand back and let others fight your battles for you or you keep running away, and that’s all I’ve ever done! It’s what you and Rin have done as well! We’re all guilty of shrinking away from things that bother us and we need to stop!”

I don’t believe he was expecting me to stand up to him like this, nor what I told him. His golden eyes widened slightly in shock and he stiffened noticeably.

“Luna…,” he started.

“Do not start to rebuff me. You know I’m right. All we have done since we met is dance around such issues, and I am just as guilty as you are. We say we wish to change and become stronger, yet we haven’t made much of an effort at all.” I interrupted.

He knew that I was right. I was certain of that much, and I refused to back down about this.

We needed to speak of this and put it to bed. Nothing would ever improve if we didn’t.

Rayne finally pulled himself together, closing his eyes as his shoulders slumped slightly. I expected him to find a way to rebuff me, even become angry at me, so it was a surprise when he did the opposite.

“As much as I hate admitting it, you are right,” he quietly relented.

“You’re not going to rebuff me this time?” I asked, still unsure of this sudden backing down.

“No. I can’t,” Rayne confessed. There was remorse in his eyes as he stepped forward and gently kissed my forehead. “I know you’re right about that, and I know that I’m just as guilty as Rin for running away from things that have bothered me instead of facing them. I’m still doing it as well. No matter how much I say I want to face things, I turn tail every time it gets hard.”

“It’s easy for anyone to do, Rayne. None of us are perfect. What matters is how we choose to deal with things, and there has to be a time when we realize we need to face them,” I reminded him as I hugged him.

“She is right, you know. We’ve been good at avoiding tough things since we were little, and it hasn’t gotten us very far,” we heard Rin say.

The two of us turned to see him standing under a nearby tree. He was leaning against it with his arms crossed while he looked squarely at his brother.

“You were following her, weren’t you?” Rayne guessed as he loosened his hold on me. There wasn’t a hint of anger in his voice. It was more like he was resigned to this happening.

“Normally I would’ve allowed Luna to handle your tantrums on her own, but I’ve been worried about you. I know there’s been a lot of heavy things weighing on you for a while now, so I needed to make sure you were okay,” Rin admitted. He pushed himself away from the tree and walked over to us.

“You’ve been that worried about me?” Rayne didn’t sound like he believed him.

“Why wouldn’t I be? You are my twin brother, even if we’re different in a lot of ways,” Rin countered. He quickly moved on. “I know that some of what you’ve felt has been my fault too. I was selfish when I took off for that year without saying anything to you, and then I kept you looking for me. I know I worried you, and I should’ve apologized for that right away when I came back with Aurora.”

“You didn’t need to. I understood it, and it’s not like I didn’t admire what you did, even if I was worried about you. You had the courage to take off on your own. That’s something I’ve never really been able to do no matter how much I’ve tried,” Rayne admitted.

“It’s better that you didn’t. All I did was run away from everything that bothered me. But seriously, Rayne, I get where you’re coming from, but you can’t do that now. Luna’s right. You need to be part of this even if you don’t like how it may go. She needs you to stand beside her,” Rin insisted.

“I know, but I can’t just stand by if they’re going to put her in danger, and you wouldn’t either if it was Aurora,” Rayne reminded him.

“I wouldn’t do that, but I’ve realized it’s not helpful to continually try to evade situations. Look at what happened with Aurora when the Golden Queen aimed for her and you. You ended up maimed and she damn near died because I was stubborn about what Father thought we should do. Do you really believe any of us want to go through that again?” Rin challenged.

He made good points. I knew the story of what happened now, and it could’ve destroyed the entire family, not to mention almost killed Aurora.

That chance of one of us dying in this was very real given what my father was, especially Rayne. If Rayne got in his way then he’d probably have no issue with eliminating him.

“I don’t want anyone to get hurt or killed in this, and I need your help most of all, Rayne. You’re my other half. Maybe things will be dangerous and there will be things we can’t avoid, but I know you’ll do everything you can to help me,” I reasoned.

“Of course I will,” Rayne pulled me into another gentle, loving embrace. “I’m sorry too. I keep letting my temper get the best of me and it’s driving me away from you.”

I had this sense that Rin was studying us as his brother spoke. It was like he was figuring something out.

“Hey, not to pry too much, but has your temper been worse since you met Luna?” he asked him.

Rayne thought about it before answering. “Now that you mention it, I have felt a bit more volatile at times, although not usually at her. It’s been more toward everyone else.”

It was easy for me to catch onto what Rin might be implying. “You think that my father could be trying to influence Rayne too?” I guessed.

“It’s something Mother brought up the other day that’s stuck with me,” Rin admitted, placing a hand on his hip. “You’ve always been the calmer, more stable one between us, Rayne, yet it’s like you’ve been more and more off since what happened with the Golden Queen. You’ve been steadily pulling away from us and kept doing so even after you met Luna. None of this has been like you.”

As I gazed up at Rayne, I gently touched his cheek and observed his eyes. Although they seemed clear at the moment, I couldn’t help but remember how they would occasionally darken.

After considering the situation, it all started to make grim sense, especially with Rin and their mother’s insights. “He’s been trying to influence me from the start, so maybe he’s been trying to do the same to you, although I don’t know if he started before we met,” I admitted.

“I don’t know. I haven’t sensed it at all if he has. But let us bring it up when we go back inside. If the possibility is there, then I don’t want to ignore it and make it worse. I’m tired of things ending up like that. All I want is to put this to bed and have a peaceful life with you,” Rayne told me.

“Then let’s take care of this together, Rayne. Whatever comes, we’ll be okay,” I promised him.

“She’s right,” Rin agreed, patting his shoulder. “Everything will work out and we’ll drive that demon away. Just trust us.”

I’m not certain that Rayne felt comfortable with any of this, but he was willing to give in so that he could help me. I couldn’t deny that I worried about what was coming too.

I wondered if my father’s influence on him started before we even met. Did this mean that his actions toward me were more about controlling one of the ruler’s children?

The three of us headed back into the palace, with me staying between Rayne and Rin. I continued to hold onto Rayne’s hand, both to reassure myself and ensure he wouldn’t change his mind about coming back inside.

For his part, Rayne had become quiet again, though there was now a resolve in his eyes. Even if this was hard, it appeared he wanted to see it through for us.

Everyone was still gathered in the conservatory when we entered, and I noticed that Lumae was addressing Hailia. Their conversation didn’t appear tense.

More like she was verifying things with her. “And you have not seen any signs of that?” Lumae was saying.

“No, I have not, but I don’t have the opportunity to see Lucille often, so I acknowledge that I could be wrong about some things, though I would hope not,” Hailia responded.

“I admit that the possibility is there, but I would not jump to any conclusions when it comes to her,” Lord Jekia agreed. “I’m well aware of the powerful influence those Fallen can have on all they set their sights on, not to mention she is incredibly close to the one they’re using.”

“And you suspect their influence could be extended even more than that, am I right?” Rayne spoke up as we joined them. He faced his father.

“I have,” Lord Jekia acknowledged. “I am glad that you decided to return and speak with us. I will take it you realize what role they’ve more than likely thrown you into as well.”

“Unfortunately, but I’ll do what I must and prevent past events from happening again along with keeping Luna safe with me,” Rayne responded.

“None of us are willing to allow it to go that far, and seeds have already been planted in order to prevent that repetition,” Lumae assured him. Her focus then turned to me.

“However, much of what will happen will depend on you, young Fae. Just as the Nephilim born to the Fallen, you also can hold power against your father. You simply must learn to harness it.”

“But how can I do that? I have hardly been able to handle the smaller things done to me. How can I fight something like him?” I asked her.

“As I said, the seeds have already been planted. What comes next is for you to realize your own strength. For that and given everything that has been seen and heard, I believe the best way to approach this is to do so head-on. You will confront Camille and the one who holds control over her,” Lumae answered.

As I expected, Rayne was completely against this. “Have you lost your senses?! You expect us to send Luna against them alone?!” he argued.

“You have to be kidding!” Rin added, sounding as shocked as his brother. “Even if she is supposed to be in the same league as the Nephilim, she’s never had to have anything to do with that Fallen before. How is she supposed to fight back when she knows barely anything about him?!”

“You both underestimate the strength one can possess simply because they appear fragile. If you had paid attention to what happened recently, you would recall that Luna held her own against that Troll very well, even defeating it without any help. She is perfectly capable of doing so if she puts her mind to it, and her connection to Rayne only adds to that,” Lumae chided them.

Lana wasn’t so certain though. “Yes, she was able to do so, but it appears that there was also a price for it. Not only did Luna manifest tremendous demonic power, but she also developed horns that she is now stuck with. What if she changes even more by releasing that side of her so intensely?” she inquired.

“It is a fair question, Lumae,” Lord Jekia concurred with a slight nod. “While I usually trust your judgment, I do not relish the idea of putting any of mine in more danger. You must realize that as Rayne’s Beta, I do consider Luna as one of my children, just as I have with Aurora. If this will compromise her too much, then I cannot agree to it.”

“I expected as much, and I would not wish to do so either. But I also believe that it will not. Luna’s connection to Rayne grounds her very well and has only increased in the time they have been together, and that is what will keep her as herself, even if she must call on the darker side of herself to defeat this Fallen,” Lumae assured us.

I knew deep inside that she was right. I was the one who needed to put an end to this, and I could do it without losing myself as long as I was connected to Rayne.

I can’t explain how I knew this. I just felt it deep within me. Apparently, so did Selenia.

“I believe that too. Even if the possibilities are scary, I can’t see Luna allowing herself to be lost in that, nor could I see Rayne allowing it. Besides, isn’t it part of the alpha-beta relationship to support one another even just through the connection between them?” she spoke up.

Rayne still looked uncomfortable but gave in slightly. “It is, and I’m willing to trust that Luna would know what’s best for her, even if I’m still going to make sure to watch over her. I just don’t want her to have to do all of this alone. None of us have ever had to do that and we’re not starting now.”

“I won’t allow that and I’m sure Lumae is aware of it,” Lord Jekia assured him.

“I am,” Lumae conceded. “That is why we will speak of the plan here where we will not be overheard. Let us take our time and listen to everything carefully. We cannot afford any slip-ups, or all of you know what could happen.”

“Of course,” Lord Jekia agreed.

“Then let us begin so that we may end this and finally have peace.”