Chapter 27

I felt as though I was drifting into a dark void of nothingness as I lost consciousness. There was no pain, no heat or cold, no feelings of happiness or sadness.

I simply existed there, lost in the void as my mind tried to reconcile everything that had been happening to me. Memories drifted through my mind like scenes from a film of my life.

I’d always been acutely aware of how I wasn’t truly accepted, even if others made attempts to do so. The only ones who seemed to genuinely accept me were Rayne and his family.

Even the creatures living in the Northern Lands were reluctant to do so. No, wait. Not all of them were like that.

Hailia had accepted me, as had Sherry. Quinta did too.

Even though it seemed like so many were against me, some never were and wanted to understand and befriend me. And Rayne; he had chosen me.

He cared for me despite everything, and so did his family. No, I’d never been alone.

There were those who loved me for who I was, no matter what happened. This realization was enough for me to fight to wake up, and slowly, the light began to filter in.

My eyes felt heavy, but I managed to force them open. The light that greeted me was blindingly bright, and I had to blink a few times before my eyes adjusted.

I lay still as my senses began to return, allowing myself to take it all in. There was the feeling of being in a soft bed, and the light that I’d thought was so bright wasn’t.

Instead, it came from the nearby windows that let in the cool afternoon breeze. ~Oh~, I realized, ~I’m in a bedroom.~

This wasn’t the cabin. That much I was sure of.

It was a large bedroom with a big bed that had a blue canopy over it. An oak dresser and wardrobe were against the nearby walls, and three large windows in the far wall were open.

My body felt like lead as I tried to sit up, and it took a lot of effort before I managed it. I held my head, feeling like it was swimming, and was confused about why I was there.

What in the world had happened to me? Then it all began coming back.

That was right. I’d had a fight with Rayne and left, then talked to a siren and decided to come home and try to talk things out with him.

But I didn’t make it. I’d been shot in my left wing by an ogre who tried to attack me when I’d fallen.

Yes, I’d fought back. I’d become so angry about everything and…

I held my head, unable to believe what I’d done. I had let that darker side of me come out, and I could’ve been dangerous to all of those around me.

How could I have lost myself like that? What kind of beast was I inside?!

The sound of the door opening brought me back to reality, and I looked up to see Rayne coming in. He looked relieved as he saw me awake, and quickly came over to sit with me.

“Are you all right, Luna?” he asked me.

“I think so,” I softly answered, looking around us as I tried to collect myself. “Where am I?”

“You’re at the palace. Emelio brought you here after he contained you,” Rayne explained.

I rubbed my face and then tried to run a hand through my hair. I felt something odd as I did.

It felt like something was jutting from my head. I felt the sides and realized that two solid things were coming from my head.

~Horns?!~ “What…what is this?!” I exclaimed as I ran my hands over them.

They extended up at least four inches and ended in points. Rayne was quick to try and calm me.

“It’s all right,” he reassured me. “They may go away in time, and they’re nothing to be afraid of. Emelio believes that they sprouted because you tapped in so deeply to your other side for that time.”

I couldn’t believe it. I’d allowed that to come out so much that it had physically changed me?!

“This can’t be happening!” I pouted, looking down at the bed in defeat.

“Everything will be fine. The important thing is that you’re okay and back to yourself. You were already starting to come back when Emelio found you.” Rayne stopped and held my arms, lightly resting his forehead on my right shoulder.

“This is my fault. I shouldn’t have let you storm away like that and not follow.”

“I’m not blaming you. I was the one who did it, and it wasn’t like it would’ve helped us. We both pushed that argument, didn’t we?” I admitted.

I couldn’t look at him as I spoke. It felt like I would break if I did, and I wanted to be honest like I’d promised I’d do when I came back to him.

“We did, but it doesn’t excuse me for not following you to make sure you’d be okay, especially when I knew that there were ones who could still hurt you,” Rayne stated.

“Did you know that there would be more coming after me? Is that why you were so angry at me for going out for that walk and meeting up with Hailia?” I asked him.

“I didn’t know for certain, but I knew the possibility was there.” Rayne finally sat up so that we could face each other, and I forced myself to pull together. “What happened to you is my fault too because I chose not to listen when Emelio warned me that your father may try to extend power over you to make you more like him. I didn’t realize that he might use a situation like that to attempt to change you.”

So they’d all known there was a possibility my father would try to change me, would try to awaken this part of me. As much as I hated saying it, I wasn’t that surprised to hear this, but I hated it too.

I was so tired of being left in the dark, and it felt like that had been happening since I’d come there. But for as upset as it made me, a resolve was rising within me too.

I needed to stop being weak and submissive about all of this. I was a beta, and equal to him, and that needed to stand for something.

I could love Rayne all I wanted, but I needed to stop simply bending to him. “If you feel bad over all of this, then please stop leaving me in the dark about things. You do understand that’s part of why I’ve gotten upset with you. It makes me feel like you don’t trust me as you’ve claimed.” I told him.

Rayne’s ears went back as he looked down, the remorse clear in his eyes. “I do trust you. I only want to protect you. I know how rotten this world can be, and how you’ve had to grow up feeling like less because of it. I didn’t want you to feel that way anymore, but nothing I’ve tried has worked,” he confessed.

“You can’t always protect someone from those things, Rayne,” I reminded him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “The world is tough and mean, and it’s the same way to all of us. Maybe some of us have less trouble than others, but everyone has to feel pain sometimes, and we become stronger from that. It might hurt, but I’m not going to break from it. You didn’t either, nor did Rin. I believe they’re exactly right when they say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and even if I don’t like what’s happened to me now, I’m not giving up on anything.”

I put as much conviction into my words as I could, meaning them with everything I had. I wasn’t going to give up on us, on my own life just because others didn’t like me or my father was trying to change me.

I’d show them all that I was stronger than that. They may have knocked me down for a while, but I was getting back up much more steadily on my feet.

Rayne let out a long breath, a resigned smile crossing his face despite his trying to keep it at bay. “You’re right, and all I’ve shown in this is my weakness. I keep blaming myself for things that probably would’ve happened even if I was around more, and I’ve been warned several times now about how I’ve been overprotective in some ways. It might take me some work, but I want to do better for you. I’d rather see you happy here than just submissive to whatever I ask of you,” he confessed.

“I am mostly happy here, Rayne. I just need to do better for us, and I think you feel the same way,” I responded.

“I do,” Rayne agreed. He leaned forward and gave me a gentle kiss. “Everything will be fine. We’ll work on those things together, and we’ll figure out how to manage this part of you so that you’ll never have to worry about it. I’m certain there’s a way, and maybe you’re already doing it. It sounds like you were trying to pull yourself back pretty fast out there.”

“I was,” I acknowledged. “I’m just wondering if I’ll be able to keep handling it, or maybe be able to harness it when I need to. I want to do that if I can help others, but I’m scared that I could end up hurting them.”

“I don’t think you will. You’re very gentle at heart, Luna, and no instinct in creation can override what’s in one’s heart,” Rayne reassured me.

“That’s awful poetic.”

He smiled. “I can’t take credit for it. My father is the one who once told us that, and it’s always stuck with me.”

I returned his smile. “I can imagine there are plenty of things Lord Jekia could say that would. He’s probably had enough experience to understand them far better than we could.”

“More than likely. I have heard that he was the first chosen ruler along with Lord Vincent of the Southern Lands.” Rayne stood up. “But we can speak about that another time. Do you feel like you could get up? As much as I hate to say it, I know that Father is probably wanting to speak to you now that you’re awake, and it might be better if we approached him together. I have some explaining to do too.”

I couldn’t say I was surprised to hear that last part. Jekia had probably been cross with him over not being there to both help me and prevent what had happened to me.

I wondered if there would be anything I could say to diffuse that. Rayne had been in the wrong too.

“I suppose…” I hesitated and looked down, recalling what had been said at the end of our argument before I’d flown away. Rayne noticed my sudden apprehension.

“It’ll be all right,” he reassured me. “No one’s angry at you for anything.”

“Are you still angry at me?” I softly asked, not able to look at him. I had the sense that he faltered, and glancing up, I saw his ears go back and his eyes downcast.

He knew what I was referring to.

“I didn’t mean what I said,” he finally answered after a moment of uneasy silence. “I never should’ve said it, even if I was tired and upset. You’re perfect the way you are, and I’m not too proud to say that I’m sorry.”

I wasn’t expecting him to say the words, and it did make me feel a lot better. Rayne would never have apologized if he didn’t care so much for me. That would’ve been beyond what he was.

“It did hurt, but I understand now too, and I won’t sit here and say that I was right for just going out there without letting you know. I know you want to protect me, and I’m not always strong enough to handle it all on my own.” I let out a small, resigned laugh as I moved my legs to sit on the side of the bed.

“I couldn’t even regain control when I did fight back, so that proves I have a long way to go.”

“True, but we can still work with you on that control,” Emelio stated as he appeared near me and Rayne.

Rayne gave him a distasteful look. “You could’ve given us a little more time,” he complained.

“My apologies, but Lord Jekia sensed that Lady Luna had awoken and asked me to check on her and let him know her status. It’s good to see that she appears to be herself again,” Emelio responded.

“I guess I am for the most part,” I reluctantly agreed, feeling my left horn. Emelio gave me a reassuring smile.

“It will be fine, my lady. I’m already looking into what we can do to be rid of those horns for you, so hopefully, we’ll be able to help you with that soon enough. But Lord Rayne is correct. If you are feeling up to it, Lord Jekia would like to speak with both of you,” he told me.

“I believe I’m able to do that now, though I’d like to change first if that is possible,” I requested. I’d noted that I was still wearing the same dress I’d been in when I’d taken off after our argument, and it was stained with dirt and some dried blood from that ogre.

I supposed they had been too concerned about what could happen to change me when I’d first gotten there.

“I brought her one of her dresses when I slipped back to the cabin, so I’ll help her with that, then we’ll be out to meet with Father. Does he still wish for us to come to the conservatory?” Rayne asked him.

“He does. Lord Jekia felt that it would be a more peaceful place to speak considering the stresses of late,” Emelio confirmed.

“That’s kind of him to consider that,” I commented.

“Trust me, my dear, Lord Jekia holds nothing against you and never has. He is concerned for your well-being given everything you’ve already had to endure in your lifetime. Lord Merrick has expressed the same concerns,” Emelio informed me.

“Please do not tell me that Merrick has decided to come here too,” Rayne groaned.

“Not at this time, but he does plan to visit with us in the coming days and wishes to see Lady Luna,” Emelio answered.

“Thanks for the warning,” Rayne huffed.

“It will be fine. Lord Merrick is the ruler of the lands I was born to, so it’s only right that I should see him at times. Not to mention, he was kind enough to allow me to come here with you,” I reminded him.

“True,” Rayne reluctantly gave in before turning to Emelio. “Please ask Father to give us about ten minutes so that I can help Luna clean up and change. She might still be a little unsteady at first and I want to make sure she doesn’t end up falling.”

“That’s reasonable and I’ll let him know,” Emelio agreed. Rayne remembered something else as he spoke.

“Oh, and will Mother and my siblings be with us as well when we speak to Father? I didn’t see them around when you brought Luna here.”

Emelio shook his head. “No. Lady Lana has been out since this morning with Lady Selenia visiting one of the Faerie glens, and Lord Jekia has chosen not to disclose any of this to Lord Rin and Lady Aurora yet. He feels it would be better if you and Lady Luna spoke directly to him first.”

“I’d rather do that as well and allow Father to handle Rin first on this one. I don’t think Luna needs any more stress with us getting into another fight over it,” Rayne admitted.

“That is your father’s aim and one I completely support. Aside from that, you and Rin need to continue working on your differences when it comes to these things. The discontent you both have shown each other as of late isn’t good at all in the eyes of those who watch over us,” Emelio warned him.

“I understand and so does he, so we’ll do our best to straighten out and repair things,” Rayne promised.

“Good.” Emelio gave him a reassuring smile. “Then I will take my leave and let Lord Jekia know.” He disappeared as quickly as he’d come, which wasn’t that surprising now that I was getting to know him.

What did catch me was how Rayne tended to defer to him at times. It made me wonder how much power Emelio really had here.

Perhaps as much as Jekia when it came to the royals.

Rayne let out a long breath as he stepped over to me.

“Well, if it’s just Father for now, then I’m a bit more comfortable handling this,” he confessed.

“I think it’ll be okay, Rayne. Lord Jekia has always appeared very fair and level-headed, and we could use his advice,” I reminded him.

“True,” Rayne helped me to my feet. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’ll be fine. I’m not dizzy or anything,” I promised.

“You’re certain?”

“Yes.”

Rayne backed off a little, grabbing a white dress from the nearby table. “Very well. Let’s go to the bathroom so that you can get cleaned up and changed, then we’ll see Father.” The bathroom he was speaking of was right across the hall from the room I’d been put in.

It was rather large and spacious, with an in-ground bath and stall for a shower. I opted to use the shower so that I could clean up quicker.

The last thing I needed was to keep Jekia waiting too long. For his part, Rayne stayed in the bathroom with me, leaning back against the wall as I undressed and stepped into the shower.

“You know, I will be okay,” I called to him as I turned on the water.

“I know. It simply makes me feel better to be here and be certain of it,” Rayne responded.

I chuckled to myself as I washed my hair, getting all of the twigs and leaves out of it. Goodness, I must’ve looked a mess up until now.

I almost wished Selenia was here to help me when I got out. She’d done my hair so nicely before, and it had been fun too.

“Luna,” I suddenly heard Rayne say.

“Yes?” I called back.

“Emelio told us that you were close to the border of the Southern Lands when he found you. How did you end up there?”

So ~that~ was where I was. How interesting.

“I’m not certain. I suppose I was just flying blindly. I know I made it to the ocean, and I was out there for a while because one of the sirens came out to the rocks to talk to me. She was very nice to me, and I promised her that I’d go back and see her again,” I answered.

“A siren?” Rayne appeared to think about it. “Ah, I believe I know the area you were in then. I’ve been out there before when we’ve gone to visit with Lord Vincent. The sirens love the caves and cliffs that run along the borders of our lands, and they tend to be quite social whenever they see visitors to the area. What was her name?”

“Eimi.”

“Yes, I remember her, although I haven’t seen her in quite a few years now. She and her sisters are very kind, and their mother is a friend of my father who aids him whenever there may be an issue about the waters.”

What a strange coincidence. I wondered if Eimi may have realized who I was.

She may have heard about me because her mother was friends with Lord Jekia. But whether or not she was, I was glad that she’d spoken to me as she had, and I did intend to go back there to see her again.

I finished cleaning up, then turned off the shower and grabbed the towel hanging outside of it to dry off before slipping on my dress. It was one of my more comfortable ones with frilly white sleeves that draped over my arms and a full white skirt.

It still felt odd though as I looked at myself in the mirror and saw those horns. I didn’t like them at all. It was too much like leaning toward my father’s side.

“It’ll be all right,” Rayne promised as he stepped behind me, helping me to dry my hair the rest of the way. “Hopefully, we’ll figure out how to make these go away, but it doesn’t change that you’re beautiful even if we can’t.”

“You don’t think I look demonic?” I had to ask.

“No. No matter what you look like, you’ll always be my Luna,” Rayne promised. He gently kissed the top of my head and grabbed a nearby hairbrush. “Let me help you with your hair. It might not be so easy at first with these.”

“Yeah, probably not,” I relented with a slight smile.

I couldn’t say for certain if Rayne and I were truly beginning to mend things between us. It might have just been the reconciliation period following a massive argument.

However, I was willing to try to mend things as long as he was. To be honest, I didn’t want to lose what we had been trying to build.

Even if I had to confront this side of me that I never wanted to acknowledge, I was determined to harness it and use it to help others. I would find a better purpose for myself in this world, starting by standing beside him.