Chapter 13

There had been plenty of times in my life, especially growing up, when I’d been nervous about what I was about to do. I’d been considered a servant ever since I could remember, and with it, I’d faced both praise and mistreatment almost simultaneously.

I’d do what I had to in order to survive, even when I risked being punished for it. I even liked thinking that it made me brave to be that way.

But by far, talking to Rayne about what had been happening to me, and confronting him about leaving me alone so much during the days, was going to be the scariest thing I’d ever done.

My nerves were pulsing as I followed Rayne into the palace and down the hallway. He headed to one of the rooms to the right, which was a sitting room, and ushered me inside.

It was as spacious as all of the other rooms I’d noticed during my short time here, with comfortable furniture and nice decorations of paintings, plants, and tapestries.

Rayne closed the door behind us as I stepped forward, and I heard him let out an exhausted breath.

“I doubt Vishu will be listening in, so you can speak freely in here,” he told me.

“She can listen to conversations within the palace?” I asked, feeling a bit surprised.

“It’s a spider talent. They can use their webs to overhear conversations if they choose to, although Vishu knows better than to eavesdrop along with keeping it as a matter of principle,” Rayne stepped in front of me, looking at me squarely. “That aside, what’s going on here? What’s been happening that you haven’t wished to tell me?”

I remained still, trying to figure out the best way to answer him. While I wanted to be honest, I also kept that fear of hurting him, along with knowing that it was going to hurt me to admit my pain and embarrassment to him.

“Well…I…” I worked hard to find the right words, but I couldn’t get them out.

Rayne held my hands in his, looking into my eyes. “Whatever this is, you can speak to me about it. I won’t be upset, and I know that you didn’t do anything to cause whatever’s been happening to you,” he reminded me.

“No, I swear I didn’t.” I drew in a breath to calm myself before continuing, “I’ve done nothing wrong that I could ever understand aside from being born. That is the only reason I can figure out as to why they don’t want me here.”

“Who doesn’t want you here?” Rayne pressed.

“The ones in your lands. They don’t like my presence with you at all, nor do they trust me,” I confessed.

“Why do you think that? I’ve heard no such things, and our family has no issue with anything about you,” Rayne insisted.

“Because they are whispering about it,” I elaborated, unable to face him. “I have noticed it for the last few weeks whenever I leave the glen. There are ones who whisper when they see me. They say that I should not be your beta, that I am a succubus because of what my father is, and that I am only here with you because I seduced you. Some even worry that I will do so to other males as well.”

My chest ached as I spoke this out loud, their words echoing over and over in my mind.

~She’s only beautiful because of what she is.~

~She seduced Lord Rayne to become a royal.~

~A succubus should never be allowed to be a ruler’s beta.~

Oh, it hurt so much that I wondered how much more I could take. Even now, I feared being here in the palace. What if they turned on me? What if Rayne now did? I couldn’t bear the thought of that.

I could feel even in just his hands that Rayne had tensed up.

“They’ve spoken such things about you?” he asked, his voice soft yet startled.

“I am so sorry I haven’t spoken of it to you. I felt very ashamed about it, and I didn’t want to hurt you. I’m well aware of what I am and how fragile my place by your side may be,” I apologized.

“There is no fragility in your place with me and there never has been. I would not have been allowed to choose you if there was,” Rayne informed me.

I finally managed to lift my head as he let go of my hands. He was looking down, but I could see intense anger burning within his eyes.

Oh no. I had feared this happening too.

“Rayne…,” I started.

“They have no right to say anything about you or cast any judgments on you! I chose you because I knew you were the one I had been waiting for, and my choice was met with praise, not persecution! You are not a succubus either! You may carry some traits of one in our bed, but you would never cause me or any other harm!” Rayne quietly fumed.

My eyes looked to the side as I recalled what Selenia had been telling me about when he and Rin were children. She was right. It all echoed the same mean story.

“You’re right. I’d never do anything like that, and I don’t understand why they’re saying these things. But I’m still sorry too. I couldn’t speak of them because I blamed myself for them. I know what I am, and I can’t deny their fears of me,” I went on.

“There’s no reason for them to ever have fears of you, and this is not born of fear!” Rayne countered. Though he was still angry, he kept it in check for me. “I won’t stand here and say that it’s all of them either. I know how this goes, and the ones who spread such nasty rumors are weak-willed and can’t even accept themselves as they are.”

“You know this because of how they spoke of Rin,” I guessed.

“I do. There were ones who were always speaking ill of him simply because he was born a Fox, but there has never been a difference between us, and our father has always accepted him as his own. They only did so to hurt him and try to drive him away.”

“And now they will try to do it with me because they don’t like me for whatever reason.”

Rayne rubbed his forehead, looking like he was staving off a headache, though he continued our conversation. His temper had died down enough for him to approach it more objectively.

“Luna, was there a certain type that would say these things about you?” he asked me.

I had to think about it.

“Um, I suppose. It seemed like they were mostly younger female creatures, but there were also a couple of older females.”

“Is that so?”

I tilted my head, feeling curious.

“You believe there is a reason for it? Perhaps jealousy?”

While I admit I hadn’t considered it before, the idea now made grim sense. I felt like I should’ve been kicking myself. Instead of blaming my nature, I should’ve considered the possibility of jealousy because Rayne had chosen me. I’d let everything get to me so easily that I’d stopped thinking about that.

Wow, I definitely needed to work on myself. I couldn’t be this weak if I wanted to be a proper beta to him.

Rayne sighed. “It sounds more and more like it, especially if it’s connected to what I’m starting to think.”

“What is that?” I inquired.

He didn’t answer me, only pulling me into a tight hug. I blinked in surprise, but quickly pulled myself together and returned it, the familiar feeling of warmth and love overtaking me.

“I’m so sorry, Luna,” Rayne softly apologized. “I’ve been hurting you too, haven’t I?”

“If you are speaking of going out often, I’m not certain I’d call it hurting me, though I have been lonely lately. I do trust that you are doing only as you feel you need to, but it’s been tough lately being in that glen all alone, and then not feeling like I could go out because of what has begun happening,” I admitted.

Rayne kissed the top of my head, then let me go and caressed my cheeks. “I know you trust me, but it hasn’t been fair of me to do as I have been. As much as I hate admitting it, Rin is right about that. Even if I have wishes to do special things for you, I can’t sacrifice my time with you to fulfill them.”

“What have you been wanting to do for me?” I had to know.

“I wanted to find something special for you,” Rayne confessed. He held my left hand, stroking my ring finger. “Perhaps I need to back off on that for now, but one day, I will find it and you can wear it proudly.”

I wasn’t expecting that. He’d been looking for something for me, and judging by this, it must’ve been for a ring. That warmed my heart, yet also made it ache. Would I be able to proudly wear his ring anytime soon? I wasn’t sure with how things were going outside of us.

“I would, but I still worry about what may come. Do you think they will ever accept me?” I asked him.

“I’m certain most already do,” Rayne assured me. He gently kissed me between my eyes. “You’re so precious to me, and I won’t allow a few suffering from petty jealousy to tear you down. I also won’t allow myself to lose sight of what I want the most. I may have stumbled a bit, but I will do better with you.”

He would do better. The thought briefly crossed my mind of how I wished that he would’ve simply said he loved me, but I quickly pushed it away. To mope over such things was useless. Besides, I didn’t need to be loved. I only needed to be needed.

“I am certain that you will, and I will work on myself too. I allowed this all to get to me much more than I should have, and I should have spoken to you about these things before. But please don’t hold any of this against your brother. He brought me here because he learned of what they were doing to me, and it bothered him tremendously,” I told him.

Rayne’s eyes dimmed slightly. “I know, and I know that he understands how you’ve felt. I simply don’t want to involve us too much here. It’s better if we can have our own life together.”

I tilted my head, curiosity overtaking me. “Why are you so concerned about us being here? Your family has been worried about you because you have rarely returned home in the last year. Is there more to what had happened that even they do not know about?” I inquired.

“No. I simply have no wish to be here at this point in my life. I would rather make my own with you,” Rayne answered.

Yet I could’ve sworn even with how quickly and matter-of-factly he said this that I saw something else flash deeper in his eyes. It was like a deep-seated pain that he wanted no one else to know about or see. Why was that? Did something else happen the year before that he couldn’t reconcile and no one else knew about?

But as much as I wanted to ask him, this didn’t feel like the right place, not to mention there was another bigger issue going on at the moment. I decided to commit this to memory to ask once things settled down. Hopefully, Rayne would trust me enough to completely open up to me, especially now that I knew some of what had happened before.

“I would like that too, though I also would like the opportunity to know your family better. Even if mean things brought me here, they have been nothing but kind to me, and I’ve been enjoying spending time with your mother and Aurora, and especially Selenia,” I told him.

Rayne chuckled. “Sounds like my sister, but she does have a way of pulling others to her. She’s as sweet and at times fiery as they come.”

“I’ve already gotten that impression, and I would imagine that she’s quite a handful for your parents and you and Rin at times,” I commented.

“You haven’t said anything.” Rayne’s mood was a little lighter now, and he pulled me into another gentle hug. “I don’t mind bringing you back here so that you can see her or the rest of my family if that is your wish. All I ask is for your time with me, and for you to do your best to feel confident about yourself.”

I snuggled into his embrace, closing my eyes and taking in the loving feel of it. Maybe words were just words in the end. He didn’t need to say out loud that he loved me when he held me like this.

“I will do my best to make myself stronger, and you are the one I wish to devote all of my time to. Even if no one else ends up liking it, I want to stay with you forever,” I quietly told him.

“As I said, they will accept it, even the ones who believe they won’t.”

Rayne gave me a gentle, lingering kiss. The soft feeling of his lips caressing mine was almost intoxicating, and I had to remind myself that this wasn’t the appropriate time for anything more, though I did hope for the opportunity later. A little make-up romp would feel wonderful.

“Let us join our family now. I believe there is plenty to discuss, and I would rather not return home too late tonight,” he continued after pulling back.

“Yes,” I agreed. “I am ready now, and I hope we can make this better.”

“We will.” Rayne kissed me one more time. “Everything will be fine. We’ll take care of this, and enjoy going on with our lives together.”