are long and full of exhausting social events.
First, thereâs the Christmas Eve party, where all the guests wear couture and dance awkwardly to Christmas music, and everyone drinks too much champagne.
Thereâs always a tipping point at some point in the evening, usually a little after midnight, where the mood shifts from jovial to feral, a sudden edge hanging in the air like an invisible guillotine.
This is usually the moment I make a discreet exit, and this year is no exception.
Catching Theodoraâs waist with one arm and Zaroâs shoulders with the other, I usher us out of the ballroom. Theodora has a little flush in her cheeks but seems mostly sober; she goes with me without protest. Zaroâs eyes are glassy, and she complains the whole way.
âThe Duke of Bridehall was inviting me to spend a weekend on his yacht,â she whines at me as I drag her down the corridor. âI didnât even have the time to say yes.â
âYouâre not spending weekend on Bridehallâs yacht,â I say, not missing the little frown Theodora gives Zaro.
âIsnât the Duke of Bridehall in his fifties?â Theodora asks.
âYeah.â Zaro giggles. âHot, right?â
Theodora laughs, sounding more surprised than amused. âI wouldnât say hot, no.â
âNor would I.â I glare at Zaro. âI would even go as far as to say thatâs repulsive.â
âItâs a little sinister,â Theodora says with more kindness. âZahara, youâre young, smart, extraordinarily beautiful. Donât you know how much better you can do?â
âIf I could do better,â Zaro mumbles, âdonât you think I would already have?â
I frown at her. âYouâre sixteen, Zaroâwhatâs the rush? Youâve all the time in the world.â
She sighs and slumps against me with her head on my shoulder, almost knocking me into Theodora. âBut Iâm lonely .â
Theodora and I exchange a look, neither of us knowing what to say.
It never occurred to me that Zaro might be lonely. Social media tells me she has a small army of friends she spends her time withâeven in Spearcrest, despite having been there for only a term. And Zaroâs never struggled to make friends.
Not that friendships are a guaranteed shield against loneliness.
We walk Zaro to her bedroom, and I watch from the doorway as Theodora helps her into bed. Taking off her heels, opening her blankets for her, even wiping the make-up off her face before letting her head rest on the pillows.
Once Zaro is tucked into bed, Theodora kisses her cheek and straightens herself, but before she can walk away, Zaro grabs her wrist.
âDonât go,â she mumbles. âStay. Read me a story.â
Theodora looks at me, eyes wide in a silent plea for help as Zaro pulls her down, and I cover my mouth to stifle my laughter.
Theodora narrows her eyes and then says to Zaro, âDonât worry, weâll stay.
is going to read us both a story.â
She gives me a look like slapping a glove in my face. Since Theodora has never offered me a challenge Iâve not declined or embraced, I push off the doorway where Iâve been leaning and close the door behind me. Zaroâs got a small set of bookshelves near her desk, so I take a quick look at her books, pushing aside the delicate garlands of her string of hearts plants.
âMy god, Zaro.â I wince at her books, searching for a single title that doesnât sound outrageous. âYou have the literary palate of a horny spinster.â
âStop judging people for what they read,â Theodora interjects immediately from where sheâs settled herself at the foot of Zaroâs bed.
Her head is propped on one of Zaroâs decorative cushions, the strands of hair escaping from her elegant updo glittering like pale gold in the soft lights of Zaroâs pink lamps. Her legs are draped over Zaroâs legs. Her silver heels lie abandoned on the floor by the bed; her toenails are painted the same dusty blue shade as her fingernails.
Itâs a rare occurrence to see Theodora so off her guard and relaxed, and I canât find it within myself to be annoyed with her.
âFine,â I tell her, âhow about you help me choose, Theo, since youâre so open-minded? Would you preferââI pull out one of the books on Zaroâs shelvesââ
orââI pull out a second book at randomââ
?â
â
,â Theodora says without a second of hesitation.
âThatâs a good one as well,â Zaro mumbles approvingly from her pillow.
I glare at Theodora then down at the cover of the book, which depicts a woman with long blonde hair and scarlet cheeks melting in the muscular embrace of a mostly shirtless pirate.
Too late, I remember Theodoraâs proclivity for villainous pirates.
âLetâs go with the ruthless sultan,â I say quickly.
âNo!â Zaro cries out.
âAbsolutely not,â Theo adds.
With the hopeless sigh of a doomed man, I slump down into the chair at Zaroâs bedside, open , and do my best to ignore Theodoraâs dreamy sighs as I read.
Christmas Day itself.
This time, the tone is subdued, the pace slower. There is a morning service at the local chapel, which is attended by almost all my parentsâ guests, presumably to atone for the fact that they missed midnight mass to get shit-faced and make advances on teenagers.
Having no religious inclination myself and little to atone for aside from the sin of reading poorly written pirate romance to my sister and the love of my life, I skip the service in favour of having breakfast with Theodora. She wears a pair of soft, faded jeans and a sweater top in pale violet. Her hair is tied in a simple ponytail, and she wears no ornament aside from silver-shaped earrings. The sweetheart neckline of her top exposes the creamy expanse of her throat, where I long to scatter a necklace of kisses.
Although the kitchen is already bustling with chefs and catering staff, Theo and I sit tucked in the little breakfast nook my mother had built, an alcove circled by windows that overlook the herb garden and the belt of trees leading to the lake. The morning is cold and frosty, leaves and grass ghostly apparitions underneath their icy shrouds.
Theo sits with a large mug of green tea, and we share a pile of banana pancakes and fresh fruit.
âIs Zaro still asleep?â Theo asks when I sit down next to her with a cup of black coffee.
I nod. âGiven the state she was in last night, sheâs going to wake up with a killer headache and the hangover to end all hangovers.â
Theo winces. âI imagine she will, yes.â She hesitates. âIs she⦠alright?â
âThatâs a complicated question.â I gaze out of the window at the pale blue of the distant sky. âIn perfect sincerity, Iâm not quite sure.â
âShe wasnât joking about the dukeâs yacht, was she? At first, I thought she might be, butâ¦â Theodoraâs gaze follows mine out the window. âBut you seemed genuinely concerned, and Iâve noticed some⦠I suppose between her and your parents. At first, I thought Iâd imagined it, but Iâm not so sure now.â
âYou didnât imagine it.â I sigh and turn back to her. âTheyâre not very happy with her as of late. Although I suppose you could say that, strictly speaking, theyâve never really been happy with either of us, ever. But more recently, well, Zaro was at a private girlsâ school in France, and she was caught getting involved with a teacher.â I curl my fingers around my cup, squeezing the hot ceramic with a grimace. âThatâs the reason she was taken out of her school and sent to Spearcrestâyou know, under my . And thatâs the reason for the âcoldnessâ you sensed. I donât think my parents have quite forgiven her for what happened.â
âForgiven her?â Theoâs tone is appalled. âForgiven her for what, getting groomed by a member of staff at her school?â She shakes her head. âThat man should be in jail. I really hope your parents pressed charges.â
âPressing charges would make everything too public. I honestly believe my parents would rather die than have it plastered all over the news that their daughter was involved in such a scandal.â I sigh and shake my head. âAnd honestly, in that respect, I agree with my parents, though not for the same reasons. Zaharaâs life would be over if what happened was made public. Victim or nymphetâregardless of how the media chose to portray herâher life would be as good as theirs. Sheâd be eaten alive, chewed up and spat out by magazines, newspapers and websites, torn apart by every tabloid reader and gossip blogger, crushed under scrutiny for years to come, probably decades. Sheâd never be allowed to forget what happened, never get to move on from it. It would kill me if that happened to her.â
âIâm so sorry this happened, Zach.â Theo places her hand on mine. Her fingers, normally so cold, are warm from cradling her mug of tea.
I turn my hand under hers so we are palm to palm and lace my fingers through hers. âIâm sorry too. I wish I could have protected Zahara better. I still wish I could do more to protect her. I even tried to get Iakov to keep an eye on her, but that just made her angry at me.â
Theodora picks up her mug with her free hand, leaving the other in my hold. âShe might have felt as if you were spying on her, or worse, trying to control her.â
âThatâs exactly what she felt, she told me herself. Sheâs quite frank when it comes to giving her opinionâas Iâm sure youâve noticed.â I sip my coffee and then shake my head. âShe canât have been that angry at Iakov spying on her, though, since she decided to go ahead and invite him to spend Christmas over.â
âShe did?â
âYes. I think she and her friends use him as a bodyguard when they go clubbing.â
âI can see that.â Theo laughs from behind her tea. âI can imagine Iakov is the perfect guy to have around if you want other guys to leave you alone.â
âOh?â I lean into Theodora and cock an eyebrow. âMaybe you and Zaro need to start some sort of Iakov fan club.â
âNo need,â Theodora answers in the sweetest of tones. âHe already has one.â
I pull back. âHe does?â
âOf course. Itâs called the female population of Spearcrest. Wait, no.â Theodora interrupts herself. âWho am I kidding? Itâs not just the girls. Letâs just call it most of the population of Spearcrest.â
âAre we talking about the same Iakov? Big, burlyâbarely speaks full sentences?â
âTall, strong, silent?â Theodora shrugs. âWhatâs not to like?â
I reel with a sudden surge of betrayal. Not from Theodora, but from Iakov, who has spent all these years passing for my vodka-drinking, fist-fighting friend and is suddenly revealing himself to be so much more complex, layered, and, clearly, admired.
âHeâs going to Paris with Zahara in two days,â I tell Theodora, narrowing my eyes at her. âSo donât get any ideas, and stick to your dark, well-spoken pirates.â
I finally release her hand to pick up my knife and fork and take a bite of banana pancake. Theodora watches me with a sly smile.
âSeems youâve also developed quite a fondness for James Hook yourself,â she says in a tone of innocence. âBased on your interesting annotations of the book.â
âMyââ
I stop and narrow my eyes. Theodoraâs pretty blue eyes shine with amusementâa rare expression on her earnest face. Her pink lips quirk as she tries to keep her smile innocent.
âThe desk in the library,â I say in realisation. âYou saw my book?â
She nods. âI took it.â
I stare at her. She shrugs and adds, âIt was a first edition of my favourite book, annotated by my favourite academic. How could I not?â
âLittle .â As we talk, I cut small morsels of banana pancakes and strawberries and feed them to Theo, who bites them obediently off the tip of my fork. âGive it back.â
âLet me keep it. Please. It can be my Christmas present.â
âIf that was your Christmas present, what would mine be?â
âWhatâs your favourite book? Something pretentious and onerous, no doubtâTolstoy or Proust, or, noâJoyce.
. Iâll find you a first edition and annotate it.â
âI donât want âI donât even like James Joyce. Iâm hurt, Theo. I would have thought you would at least know that about me.â
She shrugs. âIt was natural of me to assume you would since you donât enjoy happy, whimsical books.â
âI never said I didnât.â
âAlright.â Wrapping both her hands around her mug of tea, now almost empty, Theodora leans forward across the table. Itâs a small, round table, and weâre not quite across from each other, so now we are face to face, almost nose to nose. âWhatâs your favourite book, then?â
âI donât want a copy of my favourite book for my Christmas present.â
âWhat do you want?â She glances down at my lips and looks back up to glare into my eyes. âDonât say a kiss.â
âBecause I can get one for free?â
âBecause one canât wrap a kiss and put a pretty bow on it.â
âI didnât wrap my stolen copy of , nor put a bow on it.â
âIâll do it myself.â
âI donât want a kiss anyway. I want something you can wrap.â
She covers her mouth with her hand in an expression of shock. âYou donât want a kiss?â
âI want to kiss you, of courseâhow could I not want to kiss those raspberry lips of yours when they look so delectably kissable?âbut not for my Christmas present.â
âFine.â Thereâs a slight flush in her cheeks now, but she doesnât move away from me. âWhat is it?â
âI want your first book.â
She frowns. âWhat do you mean?â
âYou said you dream of being a writer, no?â
âYesâI said , not that I was one. Iâve not written any books.â
âThatâs fineâwhenever you write it, then I want that book.â
âI canât give you a Christmas present that doesnât yet exist.â
âIâm happy to wait.â
âFineâwhat do you mean, you want the book? You mean a copy of the book? First edition, like ?â
âNo. I want the book. I donât want a copy of it, I want copy of it. I want to own it.â
âYou want to steal my intellectual property?â
âI want you to gift me your intellectual property, yes.â
âAnd what if my first book is just a single page that reads âZachary Blackwood is a thiefâ over and over again?â
âThen Iâll be its proud owner.â
She finally moves away, sitting back into the cushioned window seat. âI wouldnât do thatâit would feed your ego too much to have a whole book written about youâeven if it was only a page long.â
âBy all means, then write something else.â
She purses her lips thoughtfully. âMaybe Iâll write a book just like . Something likeâ¦
.â
âYouâre too mature and sophisticated to be so obsessed with pirates.â
âYouâre too mature and sophisticated to be so jealous of a fictional character.â
âJealousy? The green-eyed monster that mocks the meat it feeds on? Not I, no.â
âVery well. You are far more mature and sophisticated than I gave you credit for.â Theodora stops for a second to eat the forkful of pancake and blueberry I point at her mouth, then carries on. âThen itâs decided. Your Christmas present shall be my first book, .â She taps her fingertip on her lips thoughtfully. âMaybe the stolen bride will have blue eyes and long hair, and maybe the Buccaneer Captain will be tall and sullen with shorn hair and tattoos.â
âI cannot wait to read it,â I lie in my most courteous tone.
Later, when Theodora goes for a walk with Zahara and I sit in the Blue Parlour with Iakov while he silently chugs eggnog and plays video games, I spend the whole time fighting the childish urge to hit him on the back of his head.