Chapter 46: Chapter 46: Amends

Asher

I avoid the bedroom as much as I can nowadays, practically living on the couch in what Gen calls the “family room.” It’s never been much of a “family room,” though, for obvious reasons.

I’m reading a book, passing the time. Feels like that’s all I can do nowadays when I’m not with Rose. I’ve been able to keep myself busy by focusing on repairing my reputation, at least as much as I can under Gen’s nose. I have to be subtle, which is tedious and frustrating. I hate walking on eggshells.

I rub my eyes, realizing that I haven’t retained a single word I’ve read for the last few minutes, my mind wandering and thoughts all over the place.

It’s hard to concentrate when I’m constantly having to look over my-

“Shit!” I hiss, jumping as my heart leaps out of my chest, making eye contact with evil orange eyes as they glare at me from above. She’s standing at the back of the couch, staring blankly but also in a hunting sort of way.

She says nothing as I catch my breath, leaping from the couch. She only follows me with her eyes, staring. Her nostrils flare slightly, her fists balled at her sides.

“Gen?” I ask, unsure if this thing that’s looking back at me is even Genevieve. What on earth is going on?

A low growl resonates in her throat, rumbling like the motor of an old car, seemingly shaking the floor and my chest as I step back. She takes a step forward. There’s a crazed look on her face, one that I don’t recognize. She’s always been cruel but in control. Something about the way she’s acting now feels more animalistic and erratic. She’s a rabid dog, foaming at the mouth.

“C-Calm down, Gen!” I urge, raising my hands in defense. “What is going on?”

She lets out a loud, demonic squeal as she leaps across the couch like a bobcat, tackling me to the ground and scratching me furiously with nails that feel like talons.

“What the fuck!” I scream, taken off guard as I grab her and throw her off of me, sending her crashing into the couch. The couch slides across the hardwood floor, slamming against the wall with a thud!

I scramble to my feet, watching her closely as I wipe my hand across my cheek and notice I’m bleeding.

She stands, unaffected by my throw, and paces back and forth, breathing heavily. Her eyes are entirely the color of her wolf’s, taken over by unreasonable rage.

Cato rises to the surface of my consciousness as I broaden my shoulders, squaring up to her as I let out a warning growl, my canine teeth extending to threaten a shift.

“Go to your room,” I command.

Her eyes narrow, slits enveloped by orange, her nails digging into her palms, causing them to bleed through her tightly clenched fingers.

“Gen!” I roar, hoping to snap her out of her stupor.

She jolts, batting her eyes a few times as she relaxes, her eyes softening in color but still orange.

What the fuck is going on?

Her nose wrinkles as she glares at me, this time full of the controlled anger I know so well.

“I warned you about putting your hands on me.”

Then she stomps up the stairs, and I hear the door to the bedroom slam behind her.

“What the fuck?” I whisper under my breath, my mouth hanging open.

What just happened? Did I hallucinate that? She was unhinged! What the fuck took over her? Why was she so angry with me? Why’d she attack me out of the blue?

There’s something different about her. Something other-worldly. There’s no other way I can describe it.

But there must be a reason she is acting this way. Something fueling the rage inside her and breathing life into it.

Question is: What?

Rose

It’s been twenty-four hours since Victor caught Asher and me in the cabin. I wanted to give him adequate time to cool off before I approached him, which is why I waited until now to knock on his door, tail between my legs.

I don’t know where this conversation is going to lead me. I’m conflicted in many ways, knowing I’m keeping so many secrets from the people I love. It’s hard to keep track of them, sometimes. What I’ve told to whom and when. It’s only a matter of time before I slip up.

But, if I tell them, it’s only a matter of time before it becomes public knowledge. You know what they say about two keeping a secret…

But it’s such a heavy burden to carry on my own. Living in shame and shrouded in mystery is isolating. These people love me. Asher and Victor love me, but they don’t know all of me. They know a made-up version of myself that I’ve carefully curated.

Is that true love, then? Will their feelings change if they find out the truth? Deep down, I know this is a silly fear. Knowing I’m fertile won’t change how they feel about me; it may even make Asher happy to know he can have children. He hasn’t had time to think about it yet, but if I were a regular vampire, he’d have to accept that if I’m his mate, I can’t give him any children. He’d grow to resent me despite trying not to. But he would.

My fertility solves that problem, albeit I have no clue what the conceived child of a vampire and werewolf would be like. It’s unprecedented.

“Rose?”

I blink a few times, snapping back into focus to see Victor standing in his doorway. “Earth to Rose!”

“Sorry,” I apologize quickly. “I got lost in thought a little bit. I’ve been all over the place recently for reasons probably obvious to you now.”

“Yeah,” he answers succinctly. “Come in.”

I step inside, glad he didn’t slam the door in my face. At least I have that going for me.

“How’re you feeling after last night?” I ask.

“A little shocked still,” he answers honestly. “Hurt.”

It’s my turn to answer succinctly now. “Yeah.”

We take our seats, him on the sofa and me on the loveseat opposite it.

We sit in silence for a few moments, not uncomfortable, but more like in solidarity. That at least gives me hope that this conversion won’t end in the dissolution of our friendship.

“I just want to start by saying,” I begin, breaking the silence. “I’m sorry for keeping the secret about Asher from you. It was hard for me to understand being mates with him at first, and then there’s the Genevieve thing-”

“Let me stop you right there,” he interrupts. “I’m not mad that you kept that a secret. You have a right to your privacy. I get that. I wish you would have confided in me simply because I could have lent you an ear and been there to support you. But that’s your choice. I’m hurt that you seem to have prioritized your relationship with him over your duties to your Clan. Especially since you’ve been relying on me to pick up your slack. Now I find out you’re running off to see your boyfriend?” He sends me a side-eye look, pursing his lips. “Yeah, not cool.”

“I get it,” I agree. “I have been slacking off to see him, which falls on you. I won’t do that anymore. That’s a promise.” I pause, straightening my posture. “But I won’t take responsibility for prioritizing him over the Clan because I haven’t done that. My relationship with him hasn’t affected the Clan in any adverse way, and I’m doing everything I can to make sure the future of this Clan is intact. The war between Evander and Genevive was going to happen regardless of my relationship with Asher. Our Clan’s involvement in that conflict was also inevitable. The only difference is that now I have a chance to stop it. To stop her, a woman who has a vendetta against our Clan outside of me fucking her mate, which she doesn’t know.”

“How do you know she doesn’t know?” Victor presses.

“Because she’d have marched over here and tried to kill me if she did,” I reply. “She’s got a hot temper and is very impulsive. She flew off the handle when a little blood went into her stream. Don’t you think she’d do even worse if she knew about Asher and I?”

“Not unless she’s being more calculated now and plans to use what you think she doesn’t know against you,” Victor cautions. “You have no idea. Poking a rabid bear is never a good idea, though.”

“What would you have me do?” I ask, exasperated. “I didn’t ask to fall in love with Asher. But from the second I laid eyes on him, I…” I trail off, struggling to find the words, breath stolen from my lungs.

“I see that you love him, and I can see that he loves you. I’m not critical of that, nor do I think it’s wrong. Others might, members of our Clan included, but I don’t give a shit about those optics. We can handle that storm when it comes because it’ll take a needed culture shift to change it. I worry that we’re putting a target on our backs, one that we don’t need. One that could have been avoided.”

“How?” I ask, my voice cracking. “How could I have avoided this? How could I have avoided falling in love? I can’t defy gravity.”

“You could have kept space between the two of you, not meeting so much.”

“But we need to see each other,” I explain. “You don’t understand. This woman was abusing him. I helped him wake up. Now that he’s out of the fog, he’s planning to take her down, which is the best thing that could happen for this Clan. Don’t you think that if Gen stayed in power, Asher still at her heels, she would’ve eventually set her sights on us once she was done with Evander?”

“I agree, but-”

“There isn’t a but,” I interrupt. “My relationship with Asher isn’t only something I need to be happy, but it is politically advantageous. I am playing a long game here. This Clan needs to get rid of Genevive if we want to be prosperous. We’ll never have peace as long as she’s around because she’s a ticking time bomb.”

“I agree,” he replies, scratching his jaw. “I just worry about what might happen to you if she finds out. Because you are right, she’d probably try to kill you.”

“Key word is ‘try,’” I reply with a wink.

“Now is not the time for jokes.”

“Oh, come on, now! Isn’t that the basis of our friendship?” I ask with a broad smile, which earns a short laugh for him. Simple and half-hearted, but a laugh nonetheless.

He’s warming up.

“Again, I am sorry for keeping you in the dark,” I say. “You are my best friend. I should have told you what was going on with me. It’s not that I don’t trust you; it was more that I was scared to admit it out loud, y’know? Because I knew the risks of being with him, all of which you have eloquently laid out. Love is a bit of a foreign concept to me, too. You’re the only person I’ve ever loved and been loved by besides Asher, now. Romantic love is…” I shrug, struggling to find the words again.

He finishes, “Uncharted territory?”

“Yes,” I reply. “You’re great at finishing my sentences.”

“I’m your best friend,” he says, with a full smile this time. “It’s my job to know what you’re thinking even when you don’t.”

I giggle, matching his expression as we laugh together.

“Anyways, yeah, it was uncharted territories. There was also the issue of him holding back since his relationship with Gen was so abusive—another reason she needs to go. Either way, Vic, I’m sorry. I’ve been a shitty friend recently, and I promise I’ll do better. I love you, man. I really do.”

“I accept your apology,” he says, standing. “I love you, too, girly pop.”

I roll my eyes, snorting through my nose as I stand and hug him. He holds me for a while, squeezing me tight, and says, “I can’t wait to hear all the details of your sex life. I’ve heard Alphas are insane in bed.”

“Oh my God!” I squeal, shoving him off me. “That’s so gross, but I will tell you everything.”

“Good, let me grab a notebook to take notes.”

I slap his shoulder playfully as he snickers, so proud of himself.

I feel so relieved, though. This is the norm with us. I’m glad we’re back to that because things have been strained for a while, strained by my secret keeping.

I lick my lips, looking at my feet.

I still am keeping secrets, though, harboring lies.

It’s only a matter of time before that drags my relationship with him and Asher down.

But when should I tell them? How? Is it safe?

I plaster a smile on my face, knowing full well that I’m repeating what I did while keeping my secret about seeing Asher from him. I know I can’t keep this forever or I fear it’ll do damage to my friendship that won’t be repaired with a simple apology.

I’ll have to come clean.

Soon.