Ari
Asher, Otto, and Maddox are all gone when I meander into the kitchen the next morning, the house quieter than itâs been since we arrived.According to Hannah, Maddox and Otto are working out.And Asher?Heâs dealing with a work thing on the computer in the home office just off the kitchen. The door is closed, so I canât see him, but I can hear him speaking to someone on a video call.Heâs yelling, so I know itâs not a good call.Hannah sighs as she pours herself more coffee, her fingers drumming against the side of her mug. She looks like she wants to say something, but I donât press her.I pull a cup from the cupboard, deliberately not asking. Because itâs not my problem. Then again, Iâm technically dating one of her sons and messing around with the other.God, Iâm so fucked up.I glance toward the back patio, where the faint clink of weights echoes from the home gym outside.Maddox.I swallow hard, turning back to my brewing coffee.âI hope everythingâs okay with Asher and his work,â I say casually.âMe too,â she says quietly. âSounds like a big deal. Something about his firmâs sensitive client information being hacked. Millions of dollars are at risk, apparently.ââThat sucks,â I say, taking a seat next to her.She shakes off her worried expression. âSo, are you having a good time, Ari?âI nod enthusiastically. âI am. Itâs beautiful here.ââIt is.â She sets her coffee mug down and clears her throat. âAsher works too much, doesnât he?âI huff a laugh. âIâm used to it.âHannah studies me for a moment, something warm and knowing in her gaze. Then, she sighs, picking up her coffee mug again. âYou know, sweetheart⦠you deserve someone who makes time for you. Who puts you first.âI blink, surprised by the sudden shift in conversation.âWe love Asher,â she continues, her voice careful, measured. âHeâs always been driven. Focused. But⦠well, relationships need more than just good intentions.â She takes a sip, her eyes soft as they meet mine. âWe like you, Ari. And we would understand ifââ She pauses, choosing her words carefully. âIf it ever felt like too much. If you ever needed more than what heâs willing to give.âA sharp pang twists in my chest.I force a small smile, ducking my head. âItâs not like that. I know Asher cares about me in his own way.âEven as the words leave my mouth, I feel the lie settle heavily between us. Because it is like that. Maybe it always has been. Iâve just never had anyone else to show me the difference.Not until Maddox.I feel like Iâm standing at a cliffâs edge, too scared to jump, too ashamed to admit I already have.But what am I supposed to say to Hannah? That the problem isnât just Asherâs distance or his busy schedule, but that Iâve already let someone else touch parts of me Asher never has? That I wanted her other son? That I want Maddox, not Asher?âI have no doubt that he cares about you,â she agrees easily. âBut words and effort arenât always the same thing.âSomething heavy settles in my stomach.Before I can respond, another voice cuts through the air. âInteresting conversation,â Maddox drawls, stepping into the kitchen, his blue eyes locking on to mine. âWhat are we discussing?âHannah sighs but doesnât say anything. She just gives me a look. One I canât quite decipher.Maddox smirks, but I ignore the way heâs looking at me.âI was thinking we could go to the Santa Monica Pier today,â Hannah suggests, changing the subject again before winking at me.I nod, forcing a smile, but my stomach still feels unsettled. Hannahâs words latch on to something inside me, something I donât want to examine too closely. But before I can dwell on it, Asher enters the kitchen, already dressed in a crisp button-down, checking his phone like the conversation in the room doesnât exist.âIâll drive,â he says absentmindedly. âI need to take a call on the way.âMaddox chuckles under his breath. âOf course you do.âI glance between them, but Asher doesnât seem to notice the jab. He just grabs his coffee and takes another call on his cell as he walks out of the room, already distracted.Hannah leaves, presumably to get ready.Maddoxâs gaze flicks to mine, and that smirk tugs at his lips again. âYou heard my mother,â he murmurs. âYou deserve better.âHeat flushes up my neck, and I push past him, rolling my eyes as I head upstairs to get ready.The sun glows warm over the pier, casting long shadows across the boardwalk. The air is thick with the scent of sea salt, fried food, and sugarâfunnel cakes, cotton candy, caramel corn. A rush of nostalgia washes over me. I havenât been here since I was a kid, and for a second, I let myself enjoy it. The chaos, the color, the buzzing crowd of people, the street performers, the flashing arcade games, the spinning neon rides⦠the sounds of laughter and crashing waves blending together into the perfect cacophony of summertime.Hannah, Maddox, and Otto walk ahead, pointing at different food stands while Asher hangs back with me, already on another call. His fingers loosely lace with mine, and despite being in a romantic spot, this feels so unromantic.Iâm restless. Uneasy. Every time I look at Maddox, I feel something coiling tighter inside me. The shadow of last night lingers on my skinâthe way he touched me, the way he made me fall apart. And the worst part?Iâm starting to crave him.I donât want to care, donât want to acknowledge the ache of it. But I canât help it.And maybe thatâs what scares me the most. Not the craving itself, but the lack of guilt.Iâm walking hand in hand with Asher, our fingers entwined, and all I can think about is another manâs mouth on my body. His voice in my ear. His scent still lingering on my skin.Shouldnât I feel sick with shame? Shouldnât I feel ruined by it?Of course thereâs guilt. A low, constant hum beneath my ribs. But itâs not for what I did; itâs for what I let fade into complacency. Isnât that what Frankie said? That I was just with Asher because it was easy?Two years, thatâs how long Iâve been with Asher. Thatâs how long Iâve spent telling myself this is what stability looks like. That love means compromise. That I didnât need fireworks, just consistency.But Maddox?Maddox is a maelstrom of fire and electricity.For the first time, Iâve been shown whatâs possibleâand how it feel when youâre fully, sexually satisfied.should Iâve never gotten off without helping. I always have to use my hands, or a toy.But thatâs twice now that Maddox has made me come all by himself.The worst partâthe part Iâm still trying to make peace withâis that I feel more seen in five minutes with Maddox than I have in two years with the man I thought Iâd eventually marry.What does that say about me?I thought I was building a future with Asher. I thought I knew the shape of what my life would hold. There were the soft edges of his routine. The predictability of his life, his ambition, his expectations. But now, Iâm wondering if Iâve been shrinking quietly for months, tucking away pieces of myself just to keep things peaceful. Just to keep him from leaving.I should walk away from Maddox. I should breathe, regroup, figure out what the hell Iâm doing.But all I want to do is go back to last night and let him ruin me again.We stop near the entrance to the Ferris wheel, one of the pierâs biggest attractions. A soft ocean breeze rolls in, cooler than the heat of the afternoon sun.âWhoâs riding with who?â Otto asks, eyeing the winding line.Hannah loops her arm through his. âWeâll go together.âMaddox exhales through his nose, shoving his hands into his pockets. âIâll skip this one,â he mutters, almost like an afterthought. His gaze flicks toward the towering Ferris wheel, and for the first time, I see something unreadable flicker across his expression.âYou donât like heights?â I ask, tilting my head.His jaw hardens. âI like being in control of my surroundings.âThe words are quiet, almost lost in the chatter of the boardwalk, but they land heavier than they should. Something tightens in my chest.I glance at Asher, already anticipating that heâll be the one in the seat beside me. He hangs up his phone and grins down at me.âYouâre with me,â he says, his voice soft, smiling as he rests his hand on the small of my back.I donât miss the way Maddoxâs jaw tics, and his eyes flick to where Asherâs hand is on my back.I nod at Asher and swallow, suddenly feeling guilty about⦠everything.Iâm not a cheater. I donât cross lines. I donât betray the people I love.So why does my stomach twist with something dangerously close to regret?Why does my skin still tingle where Maddox touched me? Why can I still feel the weight of his body on top of mine, his scent wrapping around me like a second skin?I swallow hard, forcing myself to smile at Asher as he leads me toward the Ferris wheel. This is what I wanted, isnât it?To be safe. . With someone predictable.SecureBut⦠why does it feel like something inside me is unraveling?Asherâs phone rings, and he gives me a small, regretful smile. A work call, then. He looks at the screen, grimaces, but for once, he doesnât immediately answer.I barely notice, too lost in my thoughts, eyes tracking the slow turn of the Ferris wheel ahead. Weâre only a couple groups away from the front of the line now.When the phone rings againâsharp, persistentâhe curses under his breath. This time, he doesnât hesitate.âIâm sorry, I have to take this,â he says, already stepping away. âGo ahead and ride without me, okay? Iâll meet you guys after.âI stiffen. âWait, butâ âââSorry, babe,â he calls over his shoulder, phone pressed to his ear. âI wonât be long.âAnd just like that, Iâm left standing there, my chest aching.A presence shifts beside me.Maddox.I donât have to look to know heâs watching me.âGuess that means youâre with me, angel.âMy stomach clenches.Before I can argue, Hannah is already ushering us toward the line. âGo, go. Itâll be fun!âI glare at Maddox as we step forward, but he doesnât smirk this time. His usual easy arrogance is absent, replaced by something more controlled, more calculated. His shoulders are tense, his jaw locked tight.Not fear, exactly. But something close.As if heâs forcing himself to do this.As if being trapped in a small, swaying gondola, suspended high above the pier, is the last thing he wants.But when he catches me watching him, his mask slips back into place. The smirk returns, slow and deliberate.Like this was inevitable.Like Iâm the only thing keeping him from turning around.A minute later, we climb into the small gondola, and the safety bar locks in place across our laps. The Ferris wheel lurches forward, slow and steady, lifting us high above the pier.Maddox shifts beside me, and suddenly, Iâm hyperaware of everything.His scent hits me first: clean soap, leather, and something darker that curls low in my stomach. His arm brushes against mine, a seemingly accidental touch, but the heat of it is scorching. It spreads beneath my skin like wildfire, making every inch of me tense and overly aware.I keep my eyes on the view, but all I can feel is him.Itâs barely noticeable at firstâa subtle tension in his shoulders, the way his hands flex against his thighs. But when we climb higher, the wheel rocking slightly with the wind, I feel it again. His chest rises and falls a little too fast, his knuckles paling against the metal bar.The tightness in his posture.The long, deep, steadying breaths.Maddox Cross isnât afraid of anything.But this? This unsettles him.The view is breathtakingâthe vast sprawl of the ocean, the golden sand stretching along the coast. But all I can feel is the heat of Maddox beside me.I keep my gaze forward, arms crossed tight.âYouâre mad,â he muses, voice low, edged with amusement.âIâm not mad.ââYou are.ââI justââ I exhale sharply, hating how unsettled I feel. âItâs not a big deal. I just⦠thought I was riding with Asher.âMaddox chuckles, deep and low, but thereâs something forced about it. âThought youâd be safer with him, huh?âMy pulse jumps.Thatâs not it. Not even close.The truth is, I wanted Asher to show up for me for once. I wanted the Ferris wheel, the sun, the stupid photos, and the lazy kisses at the top like something out of a cliché date. I wanted a memory with him.I swallow hard, blinking out at the ocean as disappointment presses heavy on my chest.But Maddox watches me like he already knows all of it. Like Iâm transparent, easy to read. Like he knows itâs not about safety at allâitâs about me still clinging to the hope that Asher might finally make me feel like I come first.The gondola sways slightly as the wheel stops to let passengers off below. Maddoxâs jaw tightens. His fingers grip the edge of his seat, just for a second, before he releases.âYouâve been avoiding me all day,â he says, tipping his head slightly, his blue eyes sharp, assessing. Heâs wearing a white t-shirt, black pants, and a black leather jacket that looks on him.way too fucking good I stiffen.Of course he noticed that I spent my morning on the beach with my Kindle. And any waking moment as far from him as possible.âYou think ignoring me is going to change anything?â he continues.The gondola sways again, and I see it this timeâthe way his body goes rigid for half a second. The way he exhales slowly, like heâs forcing himself to stay relaxed.Maddox Cross, unshakable ex-Marine, doesnât just not like heights. Heâs terrified.The realization catches me off guard, and I study him out of the corner of my eye.I swallow. âI donât know what youâre talking about.âMaddox smirks, but he doesnât push it. He just watches me, something knowing in his gaze.A gust of wind rolls through, chilling my bare arms. Iâd pulled on the new pair of jeans and a cropped t-shirt earlier because it was warm and sunny, but now that weâre so high up, itâs much colder. Plus, the fog is beginning to roll in.I shiver before I can stop myself.Maddox notices. Of course he does. Before I can react, he shrugs off his leather jacket.âHere,â he murmurs, leaning forward and draping it over my shoulders.I freeze. âI donât need it,â I say, but I donât move to take it off.âI donât care,â he murmurs, his voice a slow, dark promise. His fingers brush the collar, a deliberate, possessive touch. âLet me take care of you the way you deserve to be taken care of.âMy breath catches. Maddox watches me, his fingers still lingering near the collar of the jacket, his blue eyes flicking over my face like heâs memorizing every reaction. But when the wheel creaks and sways again, he shifts, rolling his jaw. He glances out at the open air around us before looking back at me.Something shifts between us.A pull. A weight.And then my phone buzzes. I flinch, fumbling to pull it out of my pocket. A message from Frankie.FrankieLook at this!(Linked article) Justice or Revenge? Maddox Cross: The Man Behind the Most Controversial Case of the DecadeI swallow hard, my fingers hovering over the screen as I glance at the headline of the article she just sent me. I quickly type out a reply. Iâd kept her apprised of the situationâminus the midnight rendezvousâand weâd slowly been going through the hundreds of articles about Maddox. Iâd found his wedding photo to Elaine and even her old LiveJournal page.It felt like a violation, but somehow, I want to know more about herâand .himMaddox notices the way my whole body tenses. And then he speaks, voice quiet, knowing. âYou looked me up, didnât you?âMy head snaps up, and his eyes are on my phone. Fuck.I swallow. âIâ ââHe smirks. âDid you find what you were looking for?âMy chest squeezes. I donât answer. Maddox tilts his head slightly, studying me. Then his smirk fades. Just a little.Heâs been so sure the entire trip, and this is the first time Iâve seen anything that resembles vulnerability.And⦠I donât hate it. The idea of him being scared of somethingâof having a hard pastâsoftens everything between us, and I feel something akin to empathy bloom in my chest.Or perhaps⦠affection.What the hell?âLila was four,â he says, voice lower now, rougher. âShe was sick for months. They kept denying her treatment.â A beat. A sharp exhale. âShe died waiting for an answer.âI stare at him.His jaw rolls. âElaine couldnât live with it,â he continues, quieter now. âThree weeks after we held our daughter for the last time, she put a bullet in her head.âMy stomach lurches.Oh my god. Itâs a hundred times worse hearing it from him.For the first time, Maddox isnât teasing. For the first time, I see something raw in his expressionâsomething heavier, something dangerous in an entirely different way.A man who lost everything.And maybe, just maybe, heâs never stopped looking for something to make up for it.The Ferris wheel jerks slightly as it slows, and Maddox shifts beside me, his knuckles tightening against the metal bar.This whole rideâ¦Heâs been uncomfortable the entire time, hasnât he? But not once did he say a word about it. Not once did he let it show.And suddenly, I rememberâhe wasnât even going to ride. He was going to sit it out entirely, being the odd man out.But the second Asher stepped away and I was left standing there, alone, Maddox didnât hesitate. He stepped forward, wordless, taking the empty seat beside me without giving me a choice.Heâd rather face the lurching fear of the Ferris wheel than let me go up alone.It hits me, sharp and soft all at once.I swallow, my chest constricting as I glance at himâthe tension in his jaw, the way his fingers are gripping the bar, the careful way he keeps his gaze locked ahead. I hadnât noticed it at first, not with the way he was teasing me, pushing me, watching me like he always does. But now? I see it.The slight tremor in his fingers. The way his knuckles go taut when the gondola rocks slightly. The way his breath is a fraction slower, more measured, like heâs forcing himself to stay calm.I frown, shifting slightly in my seat. âWhy did you come with me?â I ask softly, keeping my voice even.Maddox doesnât look at me right away. His gaze stays fixed on the horizon, the ocean stretching out in an endless sprawl below us. For a second, I donât think heâs going to answer. Then his throat bobs, and his fingers flex against his thigh.âWouldâve been worse watching you go without me,â he mutters, his voice rougher than usual.My chest aches, and warmth floods through me, tangling with something else, something deeper. I shouldnât feel this way. Shouldnât let this affect me.But it does.Maddox swallows, finally shifting his gaze to mine. His blue eyes are sharp, assessing, but thereâs a rawness beneath the surface.An unguarded expression, just for a second.âAre you going to tell me Iâm an idiot for that?â His voice dips lower. Itâs meant to be teasing, but I can hear the weight behind it.I shake my head and try to swallow through the thickness in my throat. âNo,â I whisper. âIâ ââI, what? I appreciate it? I feel something dangerously close to admiration for the man who should be my enemy? I donât know what to say, so I do the only thing I can.I shift closer, closing the space between us just enough that our knees brush, that the heat of him seeps into my skin. Maddoxâs gaze drops to my lips, just for a second, before he exhales and looks away.The ride slows as we near the bottom, but I donât move. Neither does he.When the gondola finally comes to a full stop, he glances at me again, something unreadable in his expression. Then he tips his chin toward the exit.âCome on, angel,â he murmurs. âLetâs get you back on solid ground.âI think.I havenât been on solid ground since we met, And even as I step out of the ride, even as I spot Asher waiting for me a few feet away, arms crossed, phone still in handâ¦I donât take Maddoxâs jacket off.I should. I know I should.But I donât.