Chapter 34

I went back to my quarters after that and sat alone on my bed thoughtfully. I clenched my fists a few times—thinking of my noble goals and dreams—and I managed to calm myself. I took a deep breath and practiced in my mind—over and over—how I would speak to Paris that night, and how I could manipulate him to achieve my dreams later on.

The first thought on my mind was that I needed to convince him to let me leave the castle. Both for the sake of my goals, and for myself. I was beginning to realize I was becoming afraid of the thought of leaving the castle, and that was not good.

I had dinner separate from Paris—wanting to make him think I was still furious at him—and avoided him successfully for the rest of the day.

I needed to relax, so I read for most of the day until it was time for bed. I put on my most gorgeous and alluring black nightgown and then I laid on my side on top of the blankets in the most enticing pose I could muster.

Alas, I wished I had gained back more of the weight I had lost over the years. Curves would help. The lack of a scar would have helped too.

Paris opened the door and I didn’t turn to him immediately—I wanted him to gaze upon the back of my body as long as possible.

He said nothing, but I heard him shuffle across the room and felt him sit on the bed. I heard him say, “it’s childish to avoid me all day long…”

I sat up on my knees as confidently as I could muster and said to him face-on, “did you miss me?”

He stared at my body for a moment before turning away and crossing his arms—trying to concentrate. “Of course I did… You have to understand that the rest of them are not like you. They are not intelligent or civilized—they are committed to their savage culture. They are where they need to be and I couldn’t free them without the kingdom turning on me anyway.”

I narrowed my eyes and I wrapped my arms around his torso and clasped them across his stomach. “I understand. You know… I’m still tied to my primitive culture in many ways, and I can’t help but get offended when I see one of my people getting pushed about, even though they are savage as you say they are. After all, they worship such cruel gods and go about dancing around in loin cloths while giving themselves to evil magic. I’m very happy I was plucked from the land of beasts and made into a cultured, close-to-human woman. Perhaps when they have adopted our culture, we can consider freeing them.”

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Paris was silent for a moment before he turned his head to look at me. “Have you always held such beliefs? No wonder you are so attractive to me… Although...”

He turned around fully and brought me into a tight embrace. I rewarded him by leaning into him and tightening my own embrace. “I know I would not love you nearly as much if you were not a moth at all. There’s a certain charm and look to you… A sweetness about you due to the fact that you are a moth.”

Inside, I was elated. He bought it. He believed that I believed the same things he did—but with a kernel of the truth of what I evtnually wanted.

He leaned in for a kiss, but I teasingly scooted away from him before his lips met mine. “Paris, I’m getting so bored being kept in the castle all day. It's like I’m your prisoner! Please ride into the city with me tomorrow… You always go without me and it gets so lonely. There are so many dangerous men around, too! Some of them give me terrifying looks…”

Paris raised an eyebrow and looked at me skeptically.

I hadn’t sounded convincing enough. He was seeing through my façade.

“Is that what this is about? Are you pretending not to be angry and hiding your true feelings from me so I’ll let you go out? You know it’s far safer in the castle! And you know it’s better for me politically to keep you hidden from the public. I should have realized your motives earlier...” Blackness seeped into his eyes, suddenly, and I froze in terror.

I had to keep calm. I had to bring out his kind and caring side like I did with Terry. Being a daddy’s girl, I had learned long ago how to cry on command to get something I wanted. I forced myself to cry now and I rolled away from him on the bed—but I clumsily rolled too far and fell off.

Curse my clumsiness!

Paris looked over the edge of the bed and gave me a hand as I forced myself to cry all the harder. He was not like Caerwyn. He did not know how to soothe and was awkward around my tears. The blackness left his eyes. “Come on, don’t cry…”

I sniffled. “I’ll admit I was angry at seeing the moth boy being abused, but… I avoided you all day to make you think I was angry because I knew it would make you want me more… Women like to play games like that--it makes the fun parts more fun! And there are dangerous men around. One of the guards was making eyes at me earlier!” I twisted Caerwyn’s sapphire in my hands to draw attention to my breasts—something I noticed the women at Daddy’s court used to do all the time to get attention from potential mates.

Paris’ eyes were drawn there and he scratched his head looking flustered. “I certainly don’t want you to feel like you’re my prisoner, and it was wrong of me to accuse you… Very well, my darling. You can ride into the city with me. I’ll even let you ride on your own horse.”

I squealed and threw my arms around him. “Thank you!”

He asked politely, resisting his instincts, “do you want to sleep alone?”

I drew him close and shook my head. “Absolutely not! I played hard to get all day for this!”

That made him very happy♡.

Tomorrow, I must prepare for my talks with Julia and Morgan. I will write again later.