Chapter 26

Before I went to sleep, I continued knitting the blanket for Paris alone in my quarters.

I sweated nervously, unable to get my sister’s molestation out of my mind. I wanted that pig dead as much as she did—even if he didn’t deserve such a harsh punishment. From thinking about that awful moment, my mind flitted about to every unpleasant memory I had lurking in my mind, and I couldn’t stop trembling as I knitted.

Being locked up for eight years, covered in filth, having barely a bite to eat everyday, and wasting away… Being called ugly by the human princes who rescued their human ladies and being left to rot by them… Almost being killed in that border town by human guards, being consistently insulted and hated by the boys in the templar temple; and just recently, almost killed by my own people… And of course, losing my whole family but for Gerta amongst it all.

I rested the blanket I was knitting on my knees and put a hand on my forehead, taking deep breaths to try and calm my thumping, nervous heart.

Suddenly, the door clicked open and Paris entered.

I was furious at him. I stood up angrily.

“You did nothing while that man—while he... To my own sister!”

“I did not know she was your sister. And I apologize, I was very drunk.” He answered.

“That isn’t new for you, I imagine. Just like on our wedding day...!” I shouted. “It shouldn’t matter whether she was my sister or not… She is still one of my people! She deserves some amount of dignity!

Paris looked at me with bleary eyes. “They do not view you as people—as well they shouldn’t. You are a beast, as are your people.”

I stomped my foot. “I am not a beast! I am your wife!”

He was crying silently as he looked at me with passion in his eyes. “No one will see you as that. To think I was so tempted by you the other day that I should forget my humanity and try to make love to a beast—and was refused by her.”

“Is that what your dour mood has been about?” I said sarcastically. “That you want me desperately but you are afraid of your own feelings and what other people will think of you?”

He approached me menacingly and stared down at me with piercing eyes. I stared back fearlessly.

He could not hurt me anymore than I had already been hurt.

His eyes flitted to the side sadly after a moment.

“I am afraid of what God would think of me for wanting a beast.” He answered lowly.

“Have you not read your own scripture? It tells you to treat all things of intelligence equally.” I countered.

“And who is to judge if you are intelligent? Your people are savages who worship gods who demand wicked and bloody sacrifices, your men have dozens of wives and treat them as interchangeable, and you have evil black magic buried deep within your souls rather than white faith! Some of your people were so primitive they went around wearing nothing but loin cloths and barely spoke a coherent word!” He rose his voice angrily and back her toward the wall. “And I know that deep within the soul of every woman is a demon who only wants gold and fine jewelry. You are a double threat!”

I gritted my teeth and shoved him weakly, “why don’t you go drown your sorrow in wine again? If you think me a beast, why not kill me right here and now to get out of this sham marriage?”

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He had backed me up against the wall and was looming over me. There were still tears rolling down his cheeks and I realized he was still drunk at this very moment. He was swaying and his breath smelled foul. In a moment, he sank to the floor clumsily.

Quietly he murmured, “I am sorry… I have never loved a woman the way I love you. I have never been possessed by such raw attractions. There is no human woman I have ever found as alluring as you. Princesses my Father set me up with… Human chambermaids I took a fancy to. They were all just after something. But you—there’s something more to you. I want whatever it is that makes you so sweet and keeps you so innocent…” He slurred his words drowsily.

I looked into his eyes and saw hurt; hurt that had taken root deep within his soul and made his heart as cold and black as his black hair.

I realized we were the same sort. Damage had been done to us—irreparable damage that set us on different paths—but damage nonetheless. If we were both broken people, maybe this man was my missing piece.

I said to him again what I said before—realizing I had to get him to continue lusting after me, “I would do anything for you, Your Majesty.”

“No woman would ever willingly say such a thing to me. You are manipulating me with such sweet words, aren’t you?” He replied with a hiccup. “If you would do anything for me, would you take me somewhere to sleep… I fear I will fall over.”

“You can stay here tonight,” I offered. “I’ll go find somewhere else to sleep…”

He grabbed my shoulders and asked me, “sleep with me?”

I shook my head with a grin. “Not tonight.”

I undressed him and couldn’t help but stare as I had never seen a naked man before. I looked away with embarrassment after a moment and then helped him into bed.

Before I left, he seized my wrist. “Mimi… I am sorry I didn’t defend your sister. I am sorry I can’t defend you. Please forgive me.”

I smoothed his hair back and kissed his forehead. “You’re trying, at least--but no more drinking!”

__

The next day, while I was knitting with the other ladies in the garden, I set my plans into motion. “I’ve been giving much of my gold and some of my jewelry to the slaves to keep them happy. I have also been allowing them to have bigger meals so they can feed their starving children. Oh! You ladies should have been present during dinner last night. One of the human nobles tried to molest one of the slaves and I had to intervene to protect the poor, miserable waif!”

I had been to the moth slaves quarters before. They did, indeed, have starving children and were very poorly taken care of.

Elizabeth and the other women gasped. “My Lady, you should not encourage the beasts!”

“I know” I agreed. “But even if the rest of those beasts are not intelligent as I am, we should try to keep things as pleasant as we can between us and them to prevent any future attacks.”

I knew these ladies would spread that gossip to their husbands and, in turn, they may spread it around in a nearby tavern, which would eventually trickle down to the peasants and the moth slaves might eventually hear of it. Maybe then I could win back their favor and work to mend relations with them. I also told Terry to spread the gossip—both the lie about giving gold and the truth about protecting my sister—to as many guards as he could.

__

Later in the day, I found Gerta cleaning up the kitchen. She was scrubbing the floor with a wet rag. She glanced at me frantically, and then back at her work.

“Gerta… Are you okay?” I asked her.

She shook her head. “I feel so nervous. My hands won’t stop trembling.”

I came closer to her and knelt at her side—dipping my fancy dress into the water she was spreading around on the floor. “I failed you—I’m sorry.”

She shook her head. “You did everything you could—if it weren’t for you, who knows what might have…”

She looked me in the eye. “That was so brave. Thank you.”

After a moment she went back to scrubbing furiously. “Your husband is worthless! He let that man hit you and abuse his slave while he had glass after glass of wine! Disgusting!”

I said nothing. I didn’t like her talking about him that way.

I decided to help her clean up, and we spoke of old and good times we used to have in our childhood.

__

Paris was gone most of the day. With his alliance completed, he saw King Tomoya off without me in tow because I couldn’t stand to be in the company of a man who had treated my sister so poorly.

Instead, I set about finishing Paris’ blanket.

I needed to get him to open up and tell me why he was such a gloomy man if I were to make him mine. I had to convince him to do things he would never in his right mind do—like free the moth slaves.

And, I genuinely wanted to make such a miserable man happy. If he wanted my sweetness and my innocence, I would give it to him in the shape of a blanket.

I will write again later.