Another wave of guilt washes over me seeing Ariâs face while Nora was all over my arm whispering sexual shit in my ear. Itâs officially the night before I leave on a deployment and Iâm feeling eerie knowing Paul isnât going to be there and never will. We were attached to different SEAL teams. But for some odd reason, as luck would have it, we were almost always running into each other somehow while deployed. Unfortunately, that wonât be happening anymore.
All Iâve been feeling these past couple of nights since Ari left was buried guilt and memories coming back up, I had of the night Paul passed. She brings all the anxiety and reminders of him. No matter what I did, I canât escape the faults I feel when it comes to Paulâs last moments. If getting heavily hammered on whiskey helped ease the pain, then thatâs what Iâm going to do. If Noraâs willing to distract me from my horrible pain or to relieve some stress, then so be it.
Nora already knows itâs never going to be anything more between us and so itâs just easy. Itâs only sex with her. After fucking Nora a couple of nights since Iâve been back home from deployment, she knows Iâll never commit to her, or anyone for that matter. She knows Iâm not the type of man to romanticize her. Every woman Iâve shared intimacy with, knows Iâm always busy and training, with no commitment in sight from me. But⦠With Ari, itâs different. I canât bring myself to just fuck her. I already want more from her after I tasted how delicious she is, how sweet and pure her soul is. Her smell so intoxicating. Her perfumeâs so sweet, I just want her to surround me at all times. Itâs all I think about since she left my house, and I hate her for it. I hate I turn around still sitting at the bar, facing the dance floor now. My whiskey in hand, I search for Ari. She looks pissed and I canât blame her. Maybe if I antagonize her, sheâll hate me as much as I hate her. Truth is, I donât fucking hate her. I hate how much I want more from her, and I canât touch her. I want to stay respectful in some sort of way since sheâs my dead best friendâs sister.
I finally find her dancing in the middle of the dance floor, and she has a smile on her face as she laughs with her friends. Seeing the way her body moves and the way her jeans show off her perfect curves. My jeans get tighter and I clench my jaw, placing the glass of whiskey against my lips, taking a sip. Sheâs so beautiful. I feel like Iâm the luckiest man in the world just being in the same room as her.
What are the odds that we end up seeing each other again in this bar?
âBabe, why donât I relieve some of that stress, right here? Right now.â Nora interrupts my thoughts, pushing her hand toward my groin, and massages over my jeans. Iâm assuming she can tell how tensed up I am since I met her tonight at El Devine. I hardly make any conversation with her. Sheâs doing all the talking and I like it like that, prefer it like that. I never am good at holding conversations but for some reason with Ari, I canât stop talking. She makes me feel like I can trust her. I look back at Noraâs heavily caked-up face and hesitate. I donât want Nora. I want Ariâs hand on me instead.
âDonât call me that,â I mutter disgusted, licking my teeth. I hate being called any pet names.
I finish up my whiskey before setting it down on the bar counter. If I canât have Ari, I need some other way to release this tension and Noraâs always ready to take care of my needs, lately. I met Nora a couple of weeks ago, in a bar of course and she understood the boundaries I have. I donât like nicknames, no kissing on the mouth, and no dates. Just sex.
âLetâs go,â I say, grabbing her manicured hands. I get up from my chair, trying my damn hardest to stop myself from stumbling. I went overboard tonight with Jack Daniels and I canât cut myself off, Iâm feeling euphoric as the alcohol starts to alter my body and mind. I always turn to alcohol as an escape from my demons and lately, itâs a new way of feeling like a new person. The evil thatâs inside of me has always been my normal.
I head for the exit of the bar, feeling relief Iâm getting farther away from Ari. It takes all my strength not to just pull her off the dance floor, throw her over my shoulders and take her away to my house again and fuck her the way Iâve been imagining since I met her.
Suddenly, Nora pulls my arm hard stopping me in my tracks.
âI donât want to leave just yet babe. I meant it when I said â She starts to walk backwards, pulling me with her. A wicked smileâs on her face and she bites her bottom lip, attempting to seduce me. Iâm confused at first, but then I watch her guide me toward the restroom, which was unisex.
I smirk letting Nora pull me into the restroom that only has one stall in it. She had been texting me nonstop these past two weeks and I finally give in to blow off some steam. She locks the door and pulls down my pants and puts me in her mouth.
I feel like a piece of shit. Who am I kidding? I am a piece of shit. Because the whole time Nora has my cock in her mouth, sucking, I keep thinking of Ari. My hands go to grip Noraâs hair, and I imagine Ariâs mouth instead. Her sweet full soft lips and her black hair in my hands.
Hopefully, this keeps the edge off from taking Ari home tonight because I want to really show her just how much of an