âAgain,â Corvus ordered, kicking Ava Jadeâs feet wider apart. âStop overthinking it.â
AJ grumbled something unintelligible through her teeth as she stared down the short length of the barrel, aiming at the glass bottles downfield. She fired, and the M9 kicked back into her palm.
âFuck,â she hissed when the shot went wide again, missing all six glass bottles entirely.
I whistled low, drawing her eye. âI have to say, AJ, I thought youâd be better at this.â
It was meant to be teasing. To bring a smile to her lips, but it only deepened the grooves between her pinched brows. Sheâd looked like that since yesterdayâs email. Up all through the night pacing, opening the fridge just to close it again, standing by the window like at any moment her stalker might appear outside of it and she could end him.
At four in the morning when she gave up and showered for the day, I joined her. Truth be told, I thought she might ask me to get out, but she turned as I stepped in with her, sighing under the stream of insanely hot water.
âIâm not in the mood,â sheâd said, exhausted, but that wasnât why I joined her. AJ let me wash her hair and scrub wide soapy circles over her back. By the time she got out, she couldnât fall into bed fast enough. Weâd only managed two hours of sleep, but it was more than I thought either of us would have after Corvus and I found .
Nothing in the security office at Briar Hall.
The email traced back to an IP location in Lodi. It took a lot of ultimately useless sleuthing to find the exact pin. An alley where a piece of crap old laptop was stuffed in a dumpster, wiped clean of prints.
We had jack shit.
And it was taking its toll on all of us.
Rook chain-smoked as he leaned against a tree several feet away, his gaze unfocused as he watched Ava Jade try to hit a bottle and miss for at least the tenth time since we started.
She dropped her arm, rolling her shoulder, which was no doubt starting to get sore at this point. âThis is useless. Iâm just as lethal with my blades as you are with a gun. I donât see the point toââ
âDiesel saidââ
â
â AJ mocked Corvus before he could finish. âI couldâve killed Diesel five times over by now with my blades, but I didnât.â
Corvus pinched the bridge of his nose, inhaling long and slow. If we werenât sleeping much, I knew that he wasnât sleeping . From experience, we all knew that could only go on so long before he got so grouchy none of us would be able to stand to be around him. Or worse, it could get as bad as it used to when Rook and I were first adopted.
When his insomnia was so relentless heâd start hearing voices. Seeing things that werenât there. His mind playing tricks on him.
If I thought I could get away with it, Iâd drug his ass asleep, but I knew neither of my brothers would be chill with that as a tactic here.
âSparrow,â Corvus warned.
She huffed.
âI have a thought,â I said, squinting into the distance to see the old barn and shed where we kept the rally cars and our backup arsenal. âWe still have that sniper out here?â
Corvus looked up, considering where I was going with the question.
âMaybe this,â I said, plucking the handgun from her grasp. âIs not her thing. Maybe we try something else. If she shows promise with a sniper, we work on that and then circle back to close range arms later.â
Corvus bit the inside of his cheek. âOkay. Yeah. Weâll try it.â
AJ perked up at the mention of her eyes alight. âAre any of you any good with one?â
Rook dropped a cigarette to stomp out on the patchy grass with its friends. âGrey isnât bad,â he said, speaking for me. âBut Axel is our sharpshooter.â
AJ lifted a brow at me. âHeâs right. Iâm competent, but none of us are much good with one. I feel like you would be though. A lot of the same principles apply as with blade throwing. Distance perception. Wind speed and direction. Timing.â
She pursed her lips, unsure, but clearly excited to give it a shot.
âThen Rook should be decent at it,â she said. âIâve seen him with a blade, too. Heâs good.â
I nodded, but she was forgetting one thing.
âI donât have the patience,â Rook admitted. âWho wants to sit on some perch half a fucking mile away from the all the fun, waiting for the perfect shot.â
âNot you?â AJ asked, her tone dripping sarcasm.
âNo, Ghost. Not me.â
âIf we climb up onto the roof of the shed, we should be able to get a good line of sight down the field,â I said, pointing toward the barn and the smashed up Volvo weâd parked up beside it. âIâll grab a can of paint. We can put a few targets on the high jump.â
âYou donât need us then?â Corvus said, a tick in his upper lip as he read something on his phone.
I frowned.
He indicated the phone in his hand. âDies. Wants two of us to deal with another client upstairs at Sanctum. He and the others are busy keeping tabs on the Aces.â
âItâs three in the afternoon,â AJ protested.
âWhat?â I asked. âIs three too early to get laid? I didnât know a good fuck had time constraints.â
She rolled her eyes.
âYeah, weâre good,â I told Corv, gaze tracking to Rook, who looked torn between staying and going. Not wanting to leave AJâs side and needing to vent some of his pent up rage before he exploded. âGo,â I added, jerking my head for Rook to follow Corv. âWeâll be here when you get back.â
He nodded, rolling his shoulders back with a sneer as he left.
â
â AJ singsonged, the happiest Iâd seen her since yesterday morning. âShow me the big gun?â
I laughed. âLetâs paint the targets first, and Iâll show you the big gun.â
She made a little growly sound that went straight to my cock, biting her lower lip as she brushed past me, heading for the shed. I grabbed my sketchpad from the stump next to me and followed her, tucking the graphite pencil behind my ear.
Iâd promised Max Iâd come up with a few new merch designs by next week and with everything going on, I hadnât had the time to even start.
âJust like I showed you,â I whispered, lying next to AJ on the uneven roof of the shed, binoculars pressed to my eyes, watching the three ringed target dripping red a quarter mile downfield. âDonât hold your breath. Breathe evenly. Fire on the exhale. Slow.â
She hesitated another moment before firing, and I had the satisfaction of watching the bullet into the wood of the jump just a few inches outside the widest ring.
AJ grinned, readying another shot, licking her lips.
I said nothing, smirking at her focus face as she leveled her left eye with the sight. It was the best focus face.
She readjusted her position, just slightly, pinkie up to feel the breeze, and fired again.
I was almost too slow to press the binoculars to my eyes, catching only the little burst of wood where her bullet buried itself into the red line of the second inner ring.
â
,â I said on a breath, pulling the binoculars down, twisting to face her. âWas that really only your second shot?â
She peered at me over the barrel, a Cheshire smile on her mouth.
I reached over and shoved the gun, messing up her aim.
âHey!â
âI have to know if itâs beginnerâs luck. Start again.â
She groaned wordlessly to herself, but did as I said, finding the correct position all over again, feeling out the wind.
This time her bullet sank into the target just an inch outside of where my bullet went in when I was showing her how to shoot, grazing the inner ring of the target.
I set the binoculars down. âWell. I think we found your weapon, AJ.â
âSecondary,â she whispered, correcting me as she patted the blades on her belt. âItâs okay, babies, I would never replace you.â
I snorted as she lined up for another shot.
âKeep practicing,â I encouraged her, getting off my belly to sit against the short wall behind us where the barn attached to the shed. I checked my phone again, waiting for word from the guys. It would be getting dark soon and they still werenât back.
Sighing, I lifted a knee, snatching up my sketchpad to try to get some other work done while I could.
She fired, and I watched her readjusting again. The long weapon at home butted against her shoulder. Fuck, she was more than I ever dreamed a woman could be. She was how I imagined Dieselâs wife to have been before she was taken from him.
Before I knew it, I was drawing AJ instead of sketching new merch designs. It happened more often than not.
When she was finally ready for a break more than thirty minutes later, having put a good dent in Dieselâs good quality lead, I was finished.
She fell against the wall next to me, rubbing out a kink in her neck, but she froze when she saw what was lying in my lap, her lips parting.
âIs that me?â
She leaned over me to get a better look.
It wasnât anything special. Just a series of dark and light lines, but they were unmistakably lines. The cruel curve of her mouth. The angle of her face. Her delicate ears. Long fingers curled around the trigger of the sniper rifle.
âItâs amazing.â
I tore it off the pad and handed it to her. âKeep it.â
She took it, staring at her likeness like she couldnât believe it was her.
âWait, is that me, too?â she asked, tapping the pad in my lap with a black fingernail.
I barked a laugh, seeing what ripping the page off had revealed.
Another drawing of her. This one of her ass.
Specifically, her bare ass, peachy and lifted as she bent over a bank of sinks in the girls washroom at Briar Hall. The mirror over the mountainous peaks of her ass and dripping cunt broken to reflect back a busted up image of me.
She snatched the pad from my hands before I could stop her, flipping quickly through the pages.
There was no point in stopping her.
Besides, maybe she should know. How irrevocably she was burnt into my thoughts.
She flipped past images of herself. Her side profile. Her hands. Her breasts dripping with water in the shower. The arch of her back, artfully covered in a wave of dark hair.
She flipped to the last page and icy dread threaded through my veins at the image on the page. An old drawing. Of another woman.
Older. With short waxen hair and a small face. Her eyes scratched out with heavy black strokes. I could never get my motherâs eyes right. Couldnât remember what they looked like. Probably because she never looked at me. Not even when I was right in front of her.
My stomach soured.
I took the sketchpad back from AJ and flipped all the leaves back over until it was closed.
âWho is she?â AJ asked.
âMy mom.â
She squinted at me. âHow long since sheâ¦â she trailed off. âI mean, how old were you whenâ¦â
âShe isnât dead,â I found myself saying, muscles in my arms and across my upper back tensing. âAt least, I donât think she is.â
AJ squinted at the rough wood roof beneath us, trying to understand. I wondered if she could and a sudden burning urge to come clean seared through me.
âI look her up sometimes,â I admitted. âType her name into search engines or social media. Just to seeâ¦â
She cocked her head, a sadness in her eyes that made my chest ache, and I wasnât sure if I wanted to say any more. If I wanted her to know.
âShe starved you,â she said, not a question.
âLeft me,â I corrected her. âAlone in my dead stepdadâs house. For weeks at a time.â
âSo you were taken away from her, then? Thatâs how you ended up at Barrettâs Home for Boys with Rook?â
I wasnât surprised she knew about that. Iâd have been lying if I said I hadnât scoured Corvusâ room for her files last month, trying to understand her. Who she was.
âYeah. My teacher found me. I was almost dead. She never came back.â
âThatâs why you look for her,â AJ mused. âBecause you want to see if sheâs still out there, living her life, free of you. If she forgot about you.â
I cleared my throat, shifting uncomfortably. âItâs pathetic. I know.â
She grabbed my arm, making me look at her as she shook her head. âNo,â she said. âNo, itâs not. Itâs okay to wonder. To care. You can hate her and still care to know. Iâd want to know why, too. Why she couldnât take care of you.â
That was part of it. The itching need to know she could do it. But there was another reason I couldnât help myself from typing her name into the search bar. The other part of me, the darker part, wanted her to suffer. Wanted to see what she would look like with her bones showing through her skin. With her eyes jaundiced and teeth falling from her mouth.
I was afraid of what I would do to her if I did find her. As if the precious few good memories of her somehow made all the fucking brutal ones tolerable.
âThis doesnât make you weak,â AJ continued. âYou hear me?â
I smirked. âYeah, AJ. I hear you.â
I lifted a hand to cup the side of her face, her cheek cold against my palm. She pushed into my touch, offering me a small sad smile before she pulled away.
âSo, you draw me. Like, a lot. When did that start?â
She rolled her shoulders, the heavy vibe tumbling off. Forgotten.
âSince the first time I saw you.â
Her cheeks pinkened before she scraped to her feet. âThe guys should be here soon, and itâs getting late. Iâm going to go pack this shit away.â
âIâll be right behind you.â
I breathed in the sunset, closing my eyes to feel the last of its dying rays warm my face and tint the back of my eyelids brilliant orange.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I tugged it loose. It was about time Corv answered me. For a guy who always expected an immediate response from us, he sure didnât seem to feel like he needed to abide by the same.
My thoughts cleared at the sight of the message waiting for me when I unlocked my phone. It wasnât from Corv. Or Dies or Rook. Not even Julia, though it boasted her trademark tag.
How the fuck�
I swallowed, my teeth clenching as I reread the message, my stomach twisting.
Another message came through before the first had a chance to settle in my mind.