Chapter 34

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Everyone's around, no words are coming now.

And I can't find my breath, can we just say the rest with no sound.

And I know this isn't enough, I still don't measure up.

And I'm not prepared, sorry is never there when you need it.

And now I do want you to know I think you'd be good to me

And I'd be so good to you.

I thought I saw a sign somewhere between the lines.

Maybe it's me, maybe I only see what I want.

Artist: Marianas Trench Song: Good to You

Sage’s Pov.

January has long been gone, and it’s now reaching the middle of February. The weather was the same, a little colder, but still relatively warm compared to many other places. I have four months left with Blaze; I’ve been keeping my head away from that thought because it always manages to make me tear up. But my mind slips up and goes there, every once in a while.

And when we went to school, it felt weird going back to school, especially with all the stares Blaze and I still got. They acted as if they stared long enough, then I would disappear into thin air. I felt like Regina George and everyone here felt victimized by me, for just being with Blaze.

Blaze and I were right now, sitting in at the kitchen nook watching Lana make tamales. I was starving and so was Blaze, and Lana was taking her sweet time. Zac had to take care of some business but he was going to be here soon.

Mark and Aubrey were taking Mathew to get his shots. They had just gotten full custody but Sam left a pretty long letter that she was going to be around. I already knew she was just screaming for trouble, but it was inevitable with her.

“I’ll be back, I have to go pee.” I pushed back the chair and walked to the bathroom. Once I was done I walked out slowly hearing Lana and Blaze talk.

“So what are you two doing for Valentine’s Day tomorrow?” She asked wrapping the last couple of Tamales up.

“Uhm, nothing I guess.” Blaze shrugged.

“Although you’ve been being way-y nicer, and she considerate of your feelings on things; she’s still a girl and she can still leave you.” Lana scolded point the hot and spicy food at Blaze.

“Then what am I supposed to do?” Blaze asked confused. I was just shocked that he actually cared.

“Well—hi Sage!” Lana smiled at me brightly as if I didn’t just see her.

“Knock it off Lans, I just saw you like 3 minutes ago.” I laughed and sat back on the stool.

After Lana, Blaze, and I ate a couple of tamales Blaze went to the room to go work and Lana went back to her apartment to work. I sat in the living room and you know how when you’re alone all you can do is think. I didn’t want to think but every time I would look at the TV and try to daze off, my mind would slip back onto the topic I was always trying to avoid. I even tried a glass of wine to help calm my nerves. I wasn’t drunk or anything, and I was fully aware of my actions. I just thought to try it, but it didn’t help.

Hours later, I was in the same position I was always in with Blaze. Rejection. It’s honestly a hard pill to swallow, and it didn’t get easier every time it happen.

“Don’t. Just don’t. I don’t need another apology. I’m so sick of your sorrys. Obviously you are aware of what you’re doing. You know, but you’re being selfish for once.” I practically yelled at him. We were on the bed and just broke off a heavy make out.

I was tired of his excuses, I wanted him and that’s all there is to it.

“Sage you don’t understand I don’t want to lead you on.” Blaze replied icily, glaring at me as if I was an idiot.

“Obviously, I understand your reason for not wanting me other than for the deal, but I obviously want it too, otherwise I’d be stopping you.” I told him forcefully and jabbing my index finger into his chest.

“Sage I can’t love you, and you deserve someone who does.”

“Stop saying that, I know you can’t. Okay? But I want this, I really do.”

“I don’t—” I cut him off.

“Stop giving me what I don’t need and give me what I want” I gained a little courage from a glass of wine I stole earlier from Blaze’s cabinet, but he didn’t need to know that. If I was saner, I would definitely not embarrass myself by begging Blaze.

He looked like he was about to say no, but I bit my lip and he mumbled, “One time” And closed down kissing me on my lips.

“One time” I repeated pressing my body closer to him.

Our lips met in a hot kiss that would make the stove jealous of the heat. I removed Blaze’s shirt and he clumsily removed mine. The way Blaze was stumbling was as this was his first time over again. Sure it’s been 7 months, but this wasn’t anything new for him. His hands were everywhere and his lips were attached to my throat. When I reached for his jeans he froze. I looked up and into his eyes and the green orbs glistened and darkened. He pulled away from me rolling over to his side. I wanted to ask what was wrong but he just looked at me.

“I can’t do it.” He whispered.

“Why not?” I inquired, wanting to cry.

“Because I—I—I refuse to let myself purposely hurt you. I don’t deserve what you’re willing to give to me.” Blaze definitely cared about me, I could tell just from those words alone. I rolled over to my side and let silent tears run down my face, and Blaze didn’t pull me to his chest that night.

When I awoke in the morning it was to a food smell, it was probably Lana seeing as Zac or Blaze couldn’t cook. I looked over my body and saw that I was wearing Blaze shirt. He must have put it on me last night when I fell asleep.

I walked into the kitchen not caring about my appearance and scratching my head.

“Sage was is this?” Blaze held up a wine glass with Chap Stick smears on it.

“Uhm it was Lana’s?” I tried.

“This explains a lot from last night,” Oh thank God! He was blaming it on the wine. I let out a breath and a weight was lifted from my shoulders. “Well I bought breakfast from Village Inn, I hope that’s okay?”

I nodded and pranced to the box that was releasing the smell of delicious food. I was so caught up in eating I almost didn’t hear Blaze saying that we were going somewhere, I just said a quick “Mhm” and kept eating.

After I was full and done eating I walked into the bedroom and got dressed simply in a pair of skinny jeans and an off the shoulder sweater. When I walked out the bathroom Blaze grabbed my arms and practically carried me to the car.

“So, uh even though we aren’t ya know—I thought we should do something for Valentine’s Day,” Blaze said clearing his throat. “I mean if you want to.”

“Okay so where are we going?” I asked suddenly excited.

“Well I was thinking the movies? We can see whatever you want.” He offered, actually being nice.

“Well I wanted to see a cartoon movie if you don’t mind.” I replied quietly thinking he would say no.

“The cartoon movie? Sure I guess.” He shrugged, and continued driving in the direction of the nearest theater.

Shockingly there weren’t any kids in this theater at this time, and there were actually other couples in here. They were probably just looking for an easy make spot, especially because this is the second week since this movie’s been released so it would be close to empty.

Blaze pulled up the armrest between us and pulled me closer, resting his arm around my shoulder. I leaned my head on his chest and enjoyed the movie.

When we were done, Blaze said he had something to show me. He even went the extra mile, by tying a tie around my eyes.

When the car came to a stop, I woke up from my nap screaming. “I’m blind, I’m going blind!” I felt all over my face remembering the blindfold.  He just chuckled at my frantic stupidity.

Blaze breathed out before speaking, “Okay, so I know you hate expensive gifts, but its Valentine’s Day and Lana told me to do something special. I guess this is to say thank you for all that you’ve done to help me.”

He opened his car door, and walked over to my door and opened mine. He grabbed my hand and led me to wherever we were going since I was blindfolded. If this was a horror movie, Blaze would be about to kill me, but this wasn’t a movie, and I trusted Blaze with my whole being; sadly.

I heard the busy streets, and the many people walking around, so I’m sure I probably looked crazy with this tie around my head. When Blaze finally untied the tie around my eyes, I was shocked at what I saw.

There was an empty lot of dirt, and a sign that read Colton Inc., poking out of it. “So you bought me dirt?” I asked confused on why he brought me here.

“For a smart girl, you can be pretty slow and getting things.” There he goes with that phrase again. It made me cringe; I’m not as smart as he thinks.

“So you bought me a lot?” I tried, hoping he would give up the guessing game and just tell me.

“You’re getting warmer. No I bought you a spot to build your café on. Zac told me that’s what you’ve always wanted.” My eyes started to water, and I was wobbly on my legs. “I didn’t mean to make you cry, Sage I don’t like making you cry, it’s like a weakness.”

“I’m crying tears of joy dummy! You’re right I don’t like expensive gift,” I scolded and hit him on the arm. “But this is the most thoughtful thing you’ve ever done for me.” I reached up and gave them the biggest hug ever. “I lo—thank you.” I silently hoped he didn’t catch my slip up. He didn’t and just smiled at me.

Though this place would only serve as a constant reminder of Blaze, I wanted something to remember him by and this would be it. Maybe just maybe he would even come visit or something. But maybe it was better off if he didn’t seeing as that would only make my heart think irrational thoughts.

“It should be done by my birthday. So I can get to see and get the first coffee and first piece of dessert.” He beamed and I playfully pushed him saying maybe.

When we pulled up home, I turned to Blaze and smiled at him. I bound out of my seat and into the driver’s seat with him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him with a fury, this time he wouldn’t be rejecting me. It would be one of the Bad Timing Taylor’s.

Zac opened the door and this time Blaze was frustrated, “What’s with you and your sister and timing?”

Zac merely beamed at him “Oh we have the perfect timing. We stop what doesn’t need to happen. I’m a little too young to be an uncle.” He leaned up from the car, standing his full height waiting for us to get up.

Blaze gave him a dry look, “You’re already an uncle, stupid.”

“Oh yeah… Well Sage is too young to be a mother.” He stuck his tongue out at us and pulled Blaze’s arm so we fell out the car sideways and he ran.

I smiled and got off of Blaze and ran to chase after him, Blaze was hot on my heels after he closed and locked the doors.

As we stupidly chased Zac through the halls I knew this was going to be something I would definitely miss, as my days here were numbered.

As I lie in bed with Blaze that night, I could help but think about the fact that he bought me a café. He bought me this because he knew I would love it. I knew he cared more than he lets on.

Blaze's Pov will be next chapter, so I can clear up some things! Question: How do you think Blaze feels?

My arms get cold,

In February air.

Please don't lose hold of me, out there.

And I know you're near me.

I know you understand.

Say that you're with me.

Say you know my face like the back of your hands.

Artist: Lights, Song: February Air