Oliver's heart was a samba band, pounding and drumming, and he was certain people could hear the percussions of his chest.
He couldn't find a cab on account of it being rush hour so he had to run. Maybe showing up sweaty and out of breath at Charlie's wouldn't work in his favour. Or maybe Charlie would like how devoted he was.
He had to stop just outside the condominium to catch his breath (and sort out his thoughts). He couldn't just barge in. He had to have a strategy.
Oh god. It was a dumb idea wasn't it. Charlie made it clear he didn't want anything to do with him. This was a mistake. He had to leave.
Why was he such a coward? Oliver mentally scolded himself and forced himself to enter the building. He was there to apologise and tell Charlie that he loved him. He was going to ask for his forgiveness and if there was any chance of them getting back together. If he said no, Oliver would get closure and maybe even move on. But he really couldn't imagine loving another guy or girl the way he loved him
With Charlie everything just sort of clicked into place. They had only been together for a brief amount of time but it just felt right. It felt absurd feeling so in love with him based on how quickly their 'relationship' had bursted into flames previously but.... Oliver knew the feeling. He had felt it with Nora all those years ago and he could feel it with Charlie. The difference now was that Oliver was older and would never make the same mistakes he made with Nora.
Before he knew it, he was standing outside Charlie's door with his heart in his hand. What if Dustin answered the door? What if, what if, what if.
Raising his hand hesitantly, he rapped on the door twice. His ears perked up to the sound of someone behind the wooden plaque and suddenly a shot of adrenaline coursed through his blood. Fight or flight. He still had a chance to escape. Or he could stay and fight for a relationship with Charlie. Judging by the way his feet remained cemented on the ground, he had subconsciously chosen the latter.
Suddenly the door was open and Charlie was standing in front of him.
They were quiet for a few seconds as their eyes adjusted to the person in front of them. Charlie looked the same as he did four months previously except his hair was longer. His face expressed a myriad of emotions that made Oliver nervous. Anger, confusion, shock...
"Hey."
"I... I thought you were the pizza delivery guy."
"Unfortunately not."
Charlie's eyebrows furrowed yet he remained silent and speechless. Oliver was ready to leave until Charlie moved out of the way to let him enter the penthouse. That was a good sign, wasn't it?
He spotted a heap of manuscripts sprawled across the floor as soon as he entered.
"Are you writing another book?" He asked, trying to ease the tension.
"No, I'm just editing a few..."
"That's cool..."
Charlie remained cautiously glued to the opposite end of the room. "Where have you been? I heard a lot of rumours."
Oliver knew that his absence would spur many rumours but he underestimated their sheer load. The amount of rumours swirling around about his sudden 'disappearance' just proved how high profile he was. He was infamous.
"Rehab. I... I spent some time in a facility out of town. Then I did a few months of therapy. Turns out I'm pretty fucked up," He laughed dryly. "I'm sober now."
It felt like he was recanting the story of his recovery for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. Charlie remained quiet, surprised by the reality of his disappearance.
"I felt a lot better. But my journey to recovery would be incomplete if I didn't apologise to you."
"Are you only apologising so you can feel better about yourself?" Charlie challenged.
"No, no. I really want to make things right."
"Oh."
"I was an idiot for not irrevocably choosing you. I took you for granted, only coming to you when I had problems with Nora. I cringe when I think of all the dumb shit I said to you. And I hate how I left things. Honestly, the truth is that I fell in love with you and I didn't know how to deal with my feelings. I knew I loved you but I felt compelled to choose Nora because of our history and I ended up hurting the both of you. I... I can't put into words how sorry I am."
Charlie took his time in replying and with every passing second of silence Oliver got a little more anxious. Charlie had every right to curse him out and never speak to him again but Oliver really hoped he wouldn't.
"I'm glad you're clean," Charlie eventually said in a quiet, barely audible tone. "You look healthier. But I just don't know whether this is all genuine or not. You've lied before..."
"I know. But I guess you'll have to trust me. Which is a lot to ask. If you want me to leave I will."
"Why are you really here? Are you only here to apologise or do you get a sick joy out of hurting me?"
"No! No. I don't ever want to hurt you again. I just needed to say sorry to you. I miss you and I want you back in my life. I love you-"
"You love me?"
Oliver half-smiled but Charlie seemed more confused by the confession.
"Yes. I love you. And I know you're with Dustin but-"
Charlie screwed his face up in disgust. "Ew, gross, who told you that?"
"Wait, are you not back together with Dustin?"
Charlie shook his head rapidly as if trying to shake the thought out of his mind. "No! We broke up months ago after I refused to keep dealing for him. He tried to get back together after he got out on parole but I just don't like him like that anymore."
Oliver didn't realise the moment both of them began to gravitate towards each other but somehow they were standing closer to each other now than at the beginning of their conversation. "I didn't know you stopped dealing."
"I only did it because I thought I loved him. But that's all behind me now."
"Are you seeing anyone else?"
Charlie sighed and looked at the floor. "No..."
"So," Oliver took a brave step closer to Charlie. "We're both single..."
Charlie took a step back. "It's not that easy, Oliver. You got married! Every time l look at you I see the old you and you can easily go back to being that person as soon as things get tough. I obviously love you too but I'm sorry, I don't know if I want to be with you..."
Oliver wanted to protest and argue and shout and thrash around but he simply nodded and curled his lips in a sad smile. At least he would have closure now.
"It's okay."
Charlie was caught of guard by his response. "Um, but maybe we can be friends..."
Oliver nodded again. "I'd like that."
Charlie slowly walked up to him and hugged him, this time surprising Oliver. "I'm really happy you're clean."
The hug seemed to make their feelings for each other starkingly clear and the longer it lasted, the more Oliver felt an urge to kiss him. But Charlie made it clear he didn't want them to get back together so he had to respect his decision. No matter how close and intimate that moment felt.
Oliver felt like crying into his shoulder but he held back his tears. They would only guilt Charlie.
After what seemed like hours, Oliver let go of him and took a step back. "I should get back. I'm meant to be at my Dad's house for dinner but I couldn't go on without apologising to you. I have literally been haunted by the fact that things weren't right between us and I had to see you. Granted I probably shouldn't have run all the way here. These leather loafers aren't made for sprinting."
"You ran all the way here?"
"There were no cabs."
"You could have waited."
Oliver scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. "I told you. I had to see you."
"Oh..."
He placed his hand on the handle of the door, ready to leave. "Anyway, maybe I'll see you soon or-"
"Tomorrow."
"What?"
Charlie's eyebrows knitted together in contemplation like he was making the hardest decision of his life. "Let's get a coffee together. Or dinner."
Oliver widened his eyes in astonishment. "Wait, what?"
"I want to see you again."
So this was what pure joy felt like...
"Like... a date?"
Charlie smiled. "A friend date! Let's just master the art of friendship first."
"Okay. Friends,"
Oliver stuck his hand out for Charlie to shake but both of them knew they were more than friends.
"Friends," Charlie reaffirmed.
"Friends who are head over heels in love with each other," Oliver joked.
"Exactly!"
He laughed and nodded. "Okay. It's a date."
"A friend-date!" Charlie laughed, correcting him.
"Okay! A friend-date."
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"I brought flowers," Oliver stated as Charlie opened the door.
He had a sleepless night from all the excitement and had been waiting all day to see Charlie. He had to go to work for a few hours but he found it difficult to focus with the image of Charlie in his mind. Of course, Oliver knew it would take a while for things to go back to normal but he was hoping that their date (or 'friend-date') would help move things along.
"Flowers for our very platonic friend-date?"
Oliver smiled sheepishly and placed them on the console table. "Yes. And the florist said these are the best flowers for forgiveness."
Charlie chuckled and rolled his eyes. "They're kind of ruining the whole bachelor pad vibe I've got going on."
"I'll make sure to get a more masculine arrangement next time."
Grinning, Charlie poked the flowers before looking at his phone screen. "I'm really sorry. I have a phone call in like five minutes but it will be super short. Do you mind sticking around here while I'm on the call?"
Oliver shrugged. "Nope."
"Great. I'll just be in the office. There's some drinks and wine in the- shit, sorry, I didn't-"
"It's okay, honest mistake."
"No, it's not. I'm so sorry. I can go spill it out if you find it hard to stay away-"
"No, no. Honestly, it's fine.
Charlie's ringtone went off loudly and he cursed again. "Shit. I have to go. I'm really sorry again."
Oliver nodded in appreciation. After Charlie scurried away, he went to the kitchen and cracked open the fridge. He smiled when he spotted the bottle of Sauvignon Blanc and swerved his arm, reaching for the bottle of water right beside it. For the first time in a while he felt no urge to drink.
Deciding to pass time watching TV, Oliver sauntered to the living room and planted himself onto the sofa. He was tired after his day at work but somehow being in Charlie's proximity was like a shot of caffeine.
Oliver hadn't realised just how much time had passed until he looked outside and realised it had gotten dark already. Charlie said he wouldn't take long but, judging by the golden arms of his watch, two hours had passed already. He didn't mind. He would wait as long as it took for Charlie.
However, he couldn't control how hungry he was. Going out for dinner was the last thing he wanted to do now. All he wanted was a quiet meal with Charlie. He decided he was going to be spontaneous and order food for them. 'Fredo's' had been their favourite restaurant. It was a grand Italian place with the best pasta. Although they didn't normally do delivery, that rule didn't apply to people like Oliver and Charlie (probably due to their hefty tips). After the food arrived, he took it out and carefully set the small dining table in the kitchen, lighting a candle in the process. It was probably a dumb idea but Oliver really hoped Charlie liked it.
"Oliver! Oh my god, I'm so sorry I kept you waiting!" Charlie started, entering the kitchen. "That call wasn't meant to take so long! I..."
His eyes landed on the set-up Oliver had created and he gasped softly.
"I'm sorry, I was just so hungry that I decided to order. I hope you're okay with staying in?"
Charlie looked at him incredulously. "Yes! Of course! Oliver... This is... oh my god. It's perfect."
Oliver cracked a smile, finally able to sigh in relief. "It's nothing. That's what friends are for."
Shaking his head, Charlie stepped closer to him and chuckled. "Yeah, about that..." Charlie gently locked his fingers with Oliver's. "I don't know if we can be just friends..."
Oliver couldn't stop smiling. "So what do you suggest?"
"God, I've missed you," Charlie sighed before leaning in and kissing Oliver.
He was floating. Oliver could feel his feet leave the ground. Was he dreaming? He curled his fingers in Charlie's hair and held him tightly. When they finally stopped, only to breathe, they both rested their noses on the other and laughed. Joy. Pure joy.
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GUY I CANT STOP WRITING EVEN THOUGH I KNOW I NEED TO STUDY FOR COLLEGE OMG
Two more chapters and an epilogue left! Next chapter marks another return of another major character so stay tuned!
Love,
-hexed