I sat cross-legged on the floor outside Cayden's dad's office, my heart heavy with concern. I could hear the faint murmur of voices through the door, his dad's low and steady, Cayden's frustrated and short. I wasn't sure how long he'd be in there, but I didn't care about missing classes. Right now, he needed someone, and I wanted to be that person for himâlike he's always been for me.
I didn't want us to fall into that cycle where we fight, make up, then kiss it all away. That wasn't real. If I wanted this relationship to last, if I wanted us to open up and stop hiding things from each other, I needed to be honest, patient, and steady for him, especially when things got tough.
It felt like I had been spending so much time trying to mend my own cracks, to patch up the parts of me that had been breaking for so long. But if Cayden was the one to break me, I wasn't sure if I'd have the strength to pick myself up again. And if I ended up breaking his heart? I didn't know what either of us would do.
The door creaked open, and I stood up quickly, dusting off my jeans. Cayden stepped out with a face like thunder, his body tense with frustration. He didn't even glance at me at firstâjust brushed past, storming toward the exit.
"So, are you just gonna leave me here?" I called after him, rolling my eyes at his stubbornness. I knew better than to take it personally, but it was hard not to feel hurt when he shut me out like this.
He stopped in his tracks and turned back to look at me, his eyes dark, his expression hard. "I told you to leave me alone, didn't I?"
I met his glare without flinching. "And do you really think I'm just going to listen to you every time you say that?"
I took a step toward him, my voice softening. "Cayden, I'm not here to push you or make you talk about something you don't want to. But you don't have to shut me out. I just... I just want you to know I'm here."
He turned away again, his body language still screaming "leave me alone," but I stayed where I was, trying to swallow the frustration bubbling up inside me. He was going through something, something he didn't want to talk about yet. And I could wait. I could give him space.
"I'll call you later," he muttered, as if it were an afterthought, a concession. "If I feel like it."
Relieved that I hadn't made things worse, I sighed and nodded, even though he couldn't see me. "Okay."
But as he disappeared through the exit, a part of me couldn't help but feel the weight of his words. If I feel like it. I rolled my eyes again, wondering if I'd ever understand what went on in his head.
***
Hours later, I was pacing my bedroom, my phone clutched in my hand. I'd been calling Cayden for two hours straight, leaving voicemail after voicemail, sending text after text. Each unanswered call only added to the knot of worry in my chest. I wasn't the clingy type, but right now, I needed to know where he was, that he was okay. What was he doing? Where had he gone?
My mind spiraledâimages of him doing god-knows-what with god-knows-who flashed across my mind, but I forced them down. This wasn't about jealousy or insecurity. It was about him shutting me out, again, when I could feel he needed someone.
I grabbed my keys and rushed downstairs, not even pausing to think. The only places I could think to check were the spots that made him feel safeâplaces he'd taken me before when he needed to clear his head.
"I'm going out," I called over my shoulder as I reached the front door.
My mom appeared in the hallway, looking confused. "I thought we were going to dinner tonight?"
I froze, torn between wanting to stay and wantingâno, needingâto find Cayden. "I'm sorry, Mom. I can't tonight. He needs me right now."
Before she could respond, I was out the door, slipping into my car, the engine rumbling to life beneath me. The first place that popped into my mind was the beach. It was one of his favorite spots, a place where he always seemed to feel at peace, even when the world was spinning out of control.
The clock on the dashboard read 4:50 PM. I had just over an hour of daylight left, and the drive would take about that long if traffic wasn't bad. As I sped down the highway, I couldn't shake the anxiety gnawing at me. What if he wasn't there? What if I couldn't find him?
I pulled over halfway there, deciding to search for other beaches in the area on my phone, just in case he wasn't at the one I was headed to. There were three within driving distance, and I wouldn't mind checking them all if it meant finding him.
***
Two beaches later, I was running out of patience. Neither had held any sign of Cayden, and the sun was already dipping low on the horizon. I parked my car at the last beach on the list and called him again. To my surprise, the phone rang.
"Cayden?" I nearly shouted when he picked up. "Where are you? I've been calling you for hours!"
There was a long pause before he spoke. "I'm at the beach."
I stepped out of the car, scanning the shoreline, but I couldn't see him anywhere. "Which beach?" I asked, kicking off my shoes as I headed toward the sand, the wind whipping my hair into my face.
"I see you," he said, and the line went dead.
Frustrated, I tried calling again, but there was no signal. Great. I wandered closer to the shore, squinting against the fading light. Then, I felt arms wrap around my waist from behind, pulling me close.
I turned and found Cayden standing there, his face softer now, more relaxed. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice muffled against my shoulder as he hugged me tighter. "I didn't mean to push you away."
I wrapped my arms around him, resting my chin on his head. "It's okay," I whispered. "I get it. You don't have to explain."
We stood there in silence for a long time, listening to the waves crash against the shore. It felt like the world was standing still, like everything outside of this moment didn't matter.
He pulled back slightly, his eyes searching mine. "You don't deserve this, Hailey. You don't deserve me shutting you out."
I smiled, brushing a strand of hair away from his face. "You don't have to apologize. But Cayden, if you keep pushing me away every time something goes wrong, I don't know how long I can keep this up."
He frowned, his eyes clouded with guilt, but he didn't argue. Instead, he took my hand and started walking, pulling me along with him down the beach. "I'll do better," he said quietly. "I'll try."
We walked in silence for a while, just holding hands and letting the sound of the ocean fill the space between us. There was something soothing about the rhythm of the waves, something that made it easier to forget, even if just for a little while, how hard things had been.
Eventually, I glanced at my phone and saw a message from my mom reminding me about dinner. "I need to go," I said, breaking the comfortable silence. "I promised my mom I'd be home for dinner."
Cayden nodded, his expression understanding. "I'll drive you."
I hesitated, looking back at my car. "I drove here, remember?"
He smirked. "Right."
We walked back to the parking lot, but when I tried to start my car, the engine sputtered and died. I groaned, realizing I was out of gas. Cayden just laughed, shaking his head.
"Looks like you're stuck with me after all," he said, pulling me toward his car as the first drops of rain began to fall. By the time we climbed inside, we were both soaked through, and Cayden immediately pulled his shirt off, wringing it out.
I glanced away, feeling my face heat up, but he noticed and chuckled. "You're blushing."
I groaned, rolling my eyes as I fumbled with my own wet clothes, and before I knew it, he handed me one of his clean shirts. As I slipped it on, I caught his scent lingering on the fabric, and something about it felt comforting, grounding.
The drive back was quiet, the rain tapping softly against the windows. As we pulled into my driveway, Cayden reached over and squeezed my hand. "I'm really sorry, Hailey. I'll be better. I promise."
I smiled, squeezing his hand back. "I know."