"You're not afraid of water, are you?" I ask as I make my way down to the receding aquamarine waves of the ocean, the golden sand crumbling beneath my bare feet. A smile spreads across my face when I realize why he's hanging back. "You are!"
"Poseiden is a very terrifying deity," he mutters as he reluctantly picks his way down to the waves, stepping cautiously like a rock climber tests a rock for stability.
There are no others at the beach today. I don't know if it's coincidence or divine intervention, but I'm not complaining.
I look at the ring that now rests on my index finger, with its snaking silver strands holding its golden topaz in place, wondering how we got to this point. Happy. But no matter what, a voice in the back of my head still tells me that happiness is fleeting, that I am not meant to be happy.
The smell of sea brine calls to me and reminds me of better days when first my father and then Phoebus would take me to the beach and we'd go beach biking and barbecue until midnight, the smoky plumes seeming to reach to the heavens.
I wade into the water until the waves come up to the hem of my denim shorts. When I turn back, I see him stubbornly standing at the edge of the waves with his hands in his pockets.
The look of thinly veiled fear makes me laugh, and he lightens up a little.
"You really must love me," he calls. "I haven't heard you laugh since I came back."
A blush makes its way across my cheeks.
I'd be lying if I said I haven't wondered how this is all going to work and how an immortal god loves me in the first place, but thinking about it more isn't going to give me answers. The only answers are going to come from the god watching me with an amused smile as I try to splash water on him.
Maybe not every question needs an answer, anyway.
I scream as I lose my footing on the slick sand. There's a momentary feeling of weightlessness and water rushing over me and then his arms are around my shoulders, pulling me back up.
I scowl and say, "The water was three feet deep. No need to play Prince Charming." Still, I laugh at his horrified expression as he surveys his now wet shorts.
They're nothing compared to what I got, though. My clothes and hair are sopping wet from the tumble.
"I risk my life for you and that's all I get? You should be ashamed of yourself, you little ingrate."
"I was going to be dripping wet anyway. You just got your legs wet for no fucking reason."
His eyes darken with an increasingly familiar emotion. "You are wet, aren't you El? I think you'd better change out of your clothes," he murmurs, and I slap him.
"Fat fucking chance, pervert."
"But really, you don't want to be walking around in wet clothes. Who knows how long we'll be here?"
I shrug. "I don't have any clothes to change into, so I guess I'm stuck like this. Maybe I'll solidify into a salt statue."
It feels weird to be able to talk so naturally around him. I haven't really let my wry side come out since he came back - I've always watched my words to make sure my secret didn't slip.
"Here, let me pat you down. My hands will warm you up." I roll my eyes as he gives me his boyish smile. "Please?"
"By Hades's dark ballsack, you really are insatiable, aren't you?" Still, my eyes flutter shut when his hands linger over my more sensitive regions. "Bastard."
When he finishes, he has a satisfied smile on his lips. "Why don't you ever swear by any of my body parts, El? I'm hurt."
I snort when I realize that he really is hurt because he can't be sarcastic. He follows me as I start to walk parallel to the ocean, looking for seashells. "You need a dick for me to be able to swear on it, for one."
"Hey that's not what you said last night when you-"
"Stop it," I screech, putting my hands over my ears. "You're going to defile my innocence."
"El, that's really ironic because I was the one to-"
He cuts off when I push him into the sand. My plan backfires, though, because he somehow drags me down with him so we fall in a tumble of limbs, with him coming out on top.
He's effectively caging me with his arms on either side of me, but I'm not going to try and escape anyway. His strong body presses mine into the sand. It's a reassuring warmth.
His eyes flicker down to my lips before he licks his own. "This is a familiar scene, isn't it?"
"I don't remember. Care to enlighten me?"
He dips his lips down to meet mine, but before they can touch, I blurt out, "Wait. I need to ask you a question before I forget again."
I feel the laughter shake his chest. "Go ahead."
"I-" I trail off, unable to properly gather my thoughts when our bodies are touching at so many points. "When did you realize that you loved me? Because you told me that you thought of me as a friend back when we were at the mansion."
He brushes his thumb against my lips, sending currents of heat down my body, as he contemplates an answer. "I think I've always loved you on some level, but it was that time you disappeared for two days that it became apparent. I was so terrified that you'd gotten hurt and when you stumbled in the door, all I could think about was how much I wanted to kiss you and how much I wanted to hurt whoever kept you away for so long. I'm really sorry, El. I should've realized much sooner."
I know he wants me to accept his apology and to tell him that it's okay.
Never one to use words, I pull him down for a searing kiss that says everything and more.
It's just like old times. My head lies on his chest and my leg is thrown over his. His wings envelop me like a comforting blanket as we watch the twinkling stars come out, one by one. They create a sea of light reflected on the ocean, and I wonder how anybody could live their whole lives without seeing the ocean even once.
My face hurts from laughing and I realize how much I miss just talking to him for hours on end without having to worry about if I'm going too far.
It feels like there's nothing wrong. Athena didn't visit us a week ago, the gods aren't trying to press restart on the earth, there's somebody who actually loves me for me.
"Gods are a lot like stars," Phoebus says, and I can see the reflection of the night sky in his eyes. Judging by the way his mouth quirks up, he's noticed me staring, but I have the right to do that now. "Without human imagination to give them life, to give them meaning, they're just dots on a black canvas. Likewise, without humans, the gods are nothing."
"Really? I thought human innovation just made gods obsolete."
I used to wonder why Phoebus wasn't bitter like the other gods about his loss of significance, but then I realized it's because he cares about mortals more than his power. He would rather us go on without him if that made us better.
"Haven't you noticed how my appearance ages with you? Helios used to be sole god of the sun until mortals decided to make me a sun god. We are what you make us."
We lie in a comfortable silence before I whisper, "Phoebus? Can I ask you for something?"
"Sure, El."
I take a deep breath. "I know that I'm going to die long before you even contemplate your demise, and I don't expect you never to love again, but could you..could you promise not to forget about me?"
"Oh, El." I know he's watching me, but if I turn to look at him, I think my tears might spill over. "El, a part of me, if not all of me, will always love you. You don't ever have to worry about that."
"How do you know?"
I don't know why I'm doubting him - it's not like he could ever lie - but some part of me still feels like this is all too good to be real and that I'm going to wake up tomorrow morning and everything will go back to the way it was before.
"I love you so much that I would rather lose my immortality than have you tell me that you don't love me. I've been alive for so long, I've seen so much, that I know that this is the kind that doesn't ever go away."
"That's good," I breathe, wondering how it's even possibly that he's making me love him more with every word. "I've always thought I needed you more than you needed me. The solar system is heliocentric, after all, and I was afraid that I would be too."
He wraps his arms around me, pulling me to him so that I'm on top of him and I can't escape his warm blue gaze. "El, where did you get the idea that you're a planet? Because you're a star." He holds me with strong arms as I bury my face into his chest. I can feel his rapid heartbeat against my cheek.
"I hate to break the mood, but you need to get up."
"Only if you help me up."
"Of course," he says, holding his hand out for me to grasp.
Once I'm up, I look at him, with sand coating his back and wings, and say, "What is it?"
"El, if you keep looking at me like that, I'm going to cave and take you right here and now. Anyway, it's midnight."
I groan, throwing my hands up in resignation. "I was hoping you'd forget."
"Forget your birthday? Who do you take me for?" he says, laughing. He thrusts his hand in his pocket and, despite my initial disapproval of gifts, I can't help but gaze in wonder at the little glass figurine in his hand.
It's me. He's somehow made me look breathtakingly beautiful while keeping faithful to my features. But that's not what catches my attention the most.
Mini-me is holding a topaz star that's almost glowing. I remember that once he said smaller sculpture are harder to do because of the handiwork needed to do the dainty features.
"Thank you," I breathe, taking it when he offers it to me. "It's...incredible." I curse my lack of way to articulate my feelings, but, judging by the look he gives me, he understands.
"That's not your real birthday present, anyway. I started it back before you left, at the mansion. I'll give you anything you want for your real birthday present. Twenty two is quite the milestone."
My black tresses bounce as I shake my head. "That's enough, I really don't need-"
"El," he says, interrupting me. "You do so many little things for me that you think I don't notice. Just let me do this for you."
He rolls his eyes when I look at him with surprise in my face. I suppose it's true - I always make breakfast for him and I used to give him my bed before we started sharing it. But I never thought of those things as thing that he should pay back - I did them because I wanted him to be happy.
"This is going to sound really fucking stupid," I say hesitantly. "But I think I'd like to hold a star, the way mini me is." I bury my face in my hands when he starts laughing. "Stop laughing, you piece of shit."
Between peals of laughter, he chokes out, "I'm the sun god and you think I can't get a star for you to hold. El? I'll give you a star."
I watch in amazement as he closes his eyes, murmuring something. The air seems to still as tendrils of light converge in his open palms, slowly growing bigger until it's about the size of a bowling ball.
I reach out to touch it, but then I retract my hand and say "Is it too hot for me to touch?"
"Even I'm not too hot for you to touch. Go ahead."
Tentatively at first, I reach my hand out to the sphere of luminescence, but its warmth is like Phoebus's - welcoming. I wonder if that's how all stars are.
Phoebus chuckles when I marvel as my hand sinks into the star and it wreaths my hand in its warmth. Its light illuminates his face and it's clear by his expression how much this means to him.
"How can I keep something so beautiful? It seems almost a sin," I say breathlessly once I've played my fill, desperately hoping that there is some way that I can keep it as a memento.
"Hold out your hand. The one with the ring."
I oblige, and he tenderly takes my hand in his. He murmurs something and the sphere glows brightly for a bit and then disappears. I'm disappointed for a moment until I notice my ring.
The topaz is gone, replaced by the sphere of light I was just playing with. It fits perfectly into the indent, almost as if it was crafted for that very purpose.
I throw my arms around him. "Thank you thank you thank you."
I feel his laugh reverberate in his chest. "Anything for you, El."
a/n: my favorite chapter!! i've waited to post this one for so long! my children are so happy, it would be a shame if anything were to happen ;))
vote, comment, add to library if you enjoyed it and want to be notified when it updates. i'll see you next time! love,
-isadora