Hideaway Heart: Chapter 12

“SO THIS IS IT, HUH?”

Kelly surveyed Buckley’s Pub from the vantage point of the entrance, her eyes scanning the cement floor and brick walls, the huge TV screens, the curved booths upholstered in tufted leather, the industrial pendant lighting, the mirrored shelves behind the bar.

I stood behind her, my eyes greedily drinking her in from head to toe while she couldn’t see me.

She wore a butter-yellow dress with flowers on it and these red cowboy boots that were knocking me out. Every time I looked at her, I felt like those boots were stomping on my chest.

It had taken every last ounce of my strength not to throw her over my shoulder and take her to bed last night. Even after I’d regained control of myself and reset the appropriate boundary, I’d watched her walk away with an ache in my balls and a gargantuan hard-on that refused to subside. Later, I’d stood outside her bedroom door, my fists clenched in agonized indecision, my head saying one thing, my body begging for another.

But in the end, my sense of right and wrong won out. She was under my protection. She’d been drinking. She might not even have meant those things she said.

I couldn’t risk it.

So I’d taken care of business myself, desperately hoping she wouldn’t hear me grunting out a fast, frantic orgasm on her couch, then quickly cleaned myself up with paper towels in the kitchen, which I shoved into a plastic grocery bag and buried deep within the trash.

She had me acting like a fucking teenager.

She’d only made things worse this morning, hinting that she’d done the same thing.

I wasn’t sure I could survive two weeks like this. It had only been two days, and I was going out of my mind. How was I supposed to last?

“This is it.” I moved past her, frowning at the missing barstools and hanging pendant lights that hadn’t come on.

“I like it,” she said, strolling across the floor toward the bar. “It’s very . . .” She flexed one bicep. “Manly. Smells like wood and testosterone.”

I walked behind the bar, irritated to see that someone had left trash from their lunch on the counter. I gathered it up and stuffed it into a garbage bag that had been left on the floor.

“No one’s working today?” Kelly ran her hand across the smooth surface of the bar Austin had crafted for me out of reclaimed wood.

“No. It’s a holiday weekend.”

She examined the bar closer. “Wow. This is really beautiful.”

“My brother made it.”

She glanced up at me in surprise. “Seriously?”

“Yeah. He makes incredible furniture—mostly dining tables—out of reclaimed wood. Barn doors, railroad ties, whiskey barrels—you name it.”

Her eyes lit up. “I want a dining table made from reclaimed wood. Will he make one for me?”

“You can ask him. He’s finally stepping back from running Two Buckleys with my dad to go into business for himself.”

“That’s awesome.” She bellied up against the bar and gave me a devilish grin. “So make me a drink, barkeep. Let’s watch some sports ball. Get mad and shout things at TVs. Root, root, root for the home team.”

Laughing, I shook my head. “I don’t even have any liquor yet, and the televisions aren’t hooked up.”

“Bummer.” She sighed and turned around, ambling across the floor, her hand trailing along the back of a chair. “So did you always want to own a bar?”

“Not particularly.” I was trying to keep my thoughts professional, or at least platonic, but my eyes kept drifting. That red hair. The curvy hips. Those fucking boots.

“Did you think you’d be in the Navy forever?” She turned one of the chairs around and straddled it, elbows on the table, chin resting on one fist.

My throat was so dry. If I’d had any whiskey behind the bar, I’d have poured myself a shot. “I never really thought too far ahead.”

“You were more of a take-each-day-as-it-comes kind of guy?”

“That’s kind of how they trained us. To focus on the thing we’re doing at the time and not stress about what was left to do or what was coming next. It would have been too easy to get overwhelmed and quit.”

“Did you ever think about quitting?”

“During training? Sure. Everyone did. But I was a stubborn motherfucker.”

One side of her mouth curved up. “Oh, I know all about that.”

I couldn’t stop thinking about those open thighs beneath the table, the way she’d straddled me last night. My mouth on her tits. Fuck.

“What about you?” I asked, trying to redirect.

“Me?” She touched her collarbone, right where I’d laid my forehead last night. “I was always focused on music. When I was little, my daddy used to play in local bars, and Mama would bring Kevin and me along to watch. I was mesmerized by the sound, the lights, the applause. He was having so much fun on that stage, and everyone loved him. Sometimes he’d bring me up there with him and we’d sing together. It just felt like magic to sing and make people smile or whistle or jump up and dance.”

“Does it still?”

She looked surprised by the question. “Still what?”

“Feel like magic.”

Her brow furrowed. “Why wouldn’t it?”

“Maybe it does. I’m just asking.”

“Sure, it does. I mean, maybe not every single night, but that’s a lot to ask. Every performer gets tired. But I try to remember that even though I’ve sung a certain song hundreds of times, someone out there might be hearing it for the first time, or maybe hear it differently that night because of what’s going on in their life.” She shook her head. “I never want to let anyone down.”

I studied her from across the room and felt the urge to take her in my arms and hide her away from the world. “That sounds exhausting. No wonder you wanted time away from that world.”

“I’m fine.” She got up from the chair and slid it beneath the table again. “I’m ready to go when you are.”

“That’s my house right there,” I said as we passed it. “The red brick on the right.”

“Wait, we’re not stopping?” She turned to me, a look of distress on her face. “I want to see where you live. Where you grew up.”

“You want to go in?”

“Yes.” She tugged my sleeve. “Come on, please?”

Grumbling under my breath, I turned around in a neighbor’s driveway and pulled into mine. My dad’s car was gone, so I figured he was already at Austin’s house.

“This is so nice,” Kelly said as I led her up the front walk. She stopped to admire the hydrangeas, bending down to touch the silvery leaf of a lamb’s ear plant.

“Thanks.” I unlocked the front door and let her go in first. “Might be a little messy in here. My dad isn’t the neatest housekeeper, and I’ve been gone for a couple days.”

“That’s okay.” As soon as she walked in, my dad’s dog, a German Australian Shepherd mix, came rushing over, excited about visitors. Kelly laughed, bending down to give him some love. “Hi, cutie. What’s your name?”

“Fritz,” I told her, shutting the door behind us.

“Hi, Fritz.” She scratched behind his ears while he licked her knees and I tried not to be jealous of a dog. “What a handsome boy.”

“Do you have a dog?” I asked.

“No. I want to get one, but my mom has bad allergies and she lives with me. Maybe someday. Kevin and I always wanted a dog.” She began to wander through the rooms on the first floor, and Fritz stuck close to her side, completely devoted.

Trailing them from the dining room through the kitchen into the living room, I found myself slightly self-conscious about the well-worn furniture, the frayed carpet, the outdated appliances, the faded photos on the walls. For someone like her, who probably had a big fancy Nashville mansion, would a place like this seem shabby and run-down?

But Kelly seemed charmed, spinning in a slow circle in front of the fireplace. “What a great house to grow up in. It’s so warm and homey. Were you close to your siblings?”

“Yeah. We’re still pretty close.”

She smiled as she looked closer at a family photo from Austin’s high school graduation. Taking the frame off the mantel, she studied it. “So tell me who’s who.”

Standing slightly behind her, I pointed at each person. “That’s my dad and older brother, Austin. That’s me—I’m the tallest—and then my brother Devlin has the cast on his arm, my brother Dash has the blond hair, and Mabel is there in the front.”

“So cute.” She laughed softly. “You’re so skinny. And it’s funny to see you without the beard.”

“Yeah, I didn’t pack on any meat until later.” I could smell her perfume again. It reminded me of a dessert I loved. Strawberry shortcake maybe. Or peach cobbler. Something sweet and summery.

She set the graduation photo down and picked up one that had been taken much earlier. “Is that your mom?”

“Yes.” It was probably the last good picture of her before she got sick. She stood in the yard with Mabel on one hip, smiling broadly, the light catching the extraordinary blue of her eyes.

“She was really beautiful,” Kelly remarked.

“She was.”

Setting the photo carefully back on the mantel, she pointed at a wedding portrait of my parents. “Wow. You look just like your dad here.”

“You think so?”

“Definitely. How old is he there?”

“I think he was about thirty when they got married.”

She continued looking at the photo of my parents posing next to their wedding cake, broad smiles on both their faces. “They look so happy.”

“They were. On their first date, he told her he was going to marry her. Six months later, he did it.”

“Really?” She laughed. “I love that. I guess when you know, you know, huh?”

“That’s what he always said.”

She turned to face me. “Think you’ll ever get married?”

I shrugged. “Yeah. I’d like a family. And my brother has two kids already. I hate it when he’s winning, so I need at least three right away.”

She headed for the stairs. “You’d have three kids just to beat your brother at something?”

“I’d do pretty much anything to beat my brother at something,” I said. “But I do think I’d be a good dad.”

Amused, she glanced at me over her shoulder. “Why am I not surprised?”

I grinned. “Just telling it like it is.”

She started up the stairs, one hand trailing on the banister, Fritz at her heels. The steps creaked beneath her feet. “Three kids, huh? Boys or girls?”

“I’d like both. But I’ll probably end up with three rowdy boys just like me.”

“Your poor wife.”

“What about you? Do you want a family?”

“Eventually.” She reached the top of the stairs. “So which bedroom is yours?”

“Top of the stairs on the left.”

As she reached the landing, I quickly raced into my room ahead of her to yank the bed covers up. “Sorry. I didn’t make my bed before I left.”

Kelly laughed. “A military man like you? No hospital corners?”

“I’m out of practice.” I glanced around the room—was it presentable? I kept it fairly neat, although my dresser could probably use a dusting, and it was a little embarrassing that there were two twin beds with solar system bedding instead of something more adult. “This was Owen’s room when Austin and his kids lived here,” I said.

“They lived here?” She peeked into the bathroom Austin and I had shared with Devlin and Dash as kids and stuck her head into their bedroom on the other side of it.

“For a few years, before I moved back. Austin and the twins’ mom were never really together, and she was going to give them up for adoption, but he said he would take them and raise them on his own. They moved in with my dad so Austin would have help.”

“Wow.” She peered out the window that overlooked the backyard. “How old was he?”

“Twenty-five.” I perched on the edge of one bed while she perused the items on my dresser top—a handful of change, a couple cologne bottles, a used dryer sheet, my camera.

“That’s really mature and responsible for a twenty-five-year-old guy,” she remarked, sniffing each bottle of cologne.

“Even as a kid, Austin was always mature and responsible.”

“You make it sound like a bad thing.”

“It’s not a bad thing,” I said quickly. “I’ve got a lot of respect for Austin. And I understand why he is the way he is. After our mom died, he had to pick up a lot of slack. He was the second parent in many ways. And for many years.”

She turned around still holding one of the cologne bottles and leaned back against the dresser. “That had to be so hard for him. For all of you.”

“Yeah.” I thought for a moment. “We all kind of handled it differently. I think for Austin, bearing up and taking on that role of rock for the rest of us was how he coped. I never saw him break down.”

Moving the bottle back and forth in front of her nose, she inhaled. “How did you cope?”

“The way you’d expect a ten-year-old kid to cope,” I admitted. “I broke down a lot. I was a kid who wore my heart on my sleeve.”

She blinked, and her eyes looked shiny. “That makes me want to give ten-year-old you a hug. Is he in there somewhere?”

I laughed and held up one palm. “No. He’s gone. He grew up into a big bearded goon. Stay away.”

Smiling, she held up the cologne. “This one is my favorite.”

“Good to know. I’m never wearing it around you.”

She set it down and picked up my camera. “Are you a photographer?”

“I wouldn’t say that. I just like to take pictures.”

“Of what?”

“Whatever. Places I visit. People in my life. Lately I’ve just been chronicling the progress at the bar.”

She hefted it in both hands, then switched it on. Focusing on me, she clicked. “Gotcha.”

“Don’t,” I told her.

“But it’s fun to be on this side of the lens.” Another click. “And you’re kinda cute when you frown. Yes, give me mad—you’re a tiger. Rawr.”

“Will you stop?” I got up and moved toward her, reaching for the camera. She immediately ducked under my arm and sat on the edge of the bed, hiding the camera behind her back.

“Come and get it,” she taunted.

I folded my arms and leaned back against the dresser, determined to keep my distance. “I’m not coming to get it.”

“Why not?”

“You know why not.”

“Because you’re afraid of me?”

“I’m not afraid of anything.”

She smiled, brandished the camera again, and clicked one more picture.

Kelly waited downstairs while I packed a bag with a few more articles of clothing, a better pair of running shoes, and my camera. Checking my reflection in the mirror over the dresser, I heard her singing to the dog in the front hall. I smiled—I really did like her voice.

And I liked her warmth and her sense of humor and her kindness. I liked her legs and her hips and her breasts. I liked the smell of her skin and the color of her hair and the gleam in those green eyes when she willfully pushed my buttons.

I liked that she’d climbed on my lap last night. I liked that she’d called me out on my bullshit. I liked that she wanted me.

What I didn’t like was that nothing could come of it.

But I still sprayed myself with the cologne she said was her favorite before I left the room. I even stuck the bottle in the bag—along with a handful of condoms.

I was halfway down the stairs when I saw her bending over to play with the dog.

That’s when I decided to go back for the entire box.

“You made it!” Veronica called, jumping up from her chair as Kelly and I walked into Austin’s backyard. My brother waved from where he sat at a big table beneath an umbrella, and my dad called hello from the lawn, where he and Owen were playing a game of horseshoes.

Veronica came over to greet Kelly, a huge smile on her face. “Hi, I’m Veronica. Thank you so much for coming.”

“Thanks for inviting me. I’m Kelly.” She glanced down at the salad she’d made. “I brought a salad, but it’s nothing much.”

“This looks amazing!” Veronica took the salad from Kelly. “Is that arugula?”

“Yes. Arugula, strawberries, feta, shallot, pecans, a little mint.” She made a face. “I’ve got the dressing in my bag—it’s store-bought vinaigrette, sorry.”

Veronica laughed. “Listen, a couple months ago, I would not even have been able to identify arugula, so don’t feel bad. I’m still learning my way around the kitchen. Come on in the house, I’ll get you a glass of wine.”

“That sounds great, thanks.” Kelly followed Veronica, who belatedly looked at me over her shoulder. “Oh, hi, Xander.”

“Hi, Veronica.” But it was obvious she could not have cared less about me as she eagerly led Kelly toward the back door.

“Adelaide cannot wait to meet you,” I heard her saying. “When she found out you were coming, she went into her room to get ready and hasn’t come out since.”

Kelly’s laughter faded as they disappeared into the kitchen.

Fishing a beer from the cooler, I dropped into the chair opposite my brother and twisted the cap off the bottle. Took a long swallow.

“So how’s it going?” Austin asked, glancing at the kitchen window. Through the screen we could hear Kelly and Veronica chattering a mile a minute, like they’d been friends forever.

I shrugged, scanning the perimeter of his yard. “Okay.”

“Veronica said you and Kelly don’t get along?”

“It’s not that we don’t get along.”

“What is it?”

I tipped up my beer again. “The situation is just difficult.”

My brother laughed. “Because she doesn’t like you?”

“Turns out, she likes me just fine,” I couldn’t resist telling him.

“Oh yeah? From what Roni said, I thought she was giving you a hard time.”

“She was, but we called a truce. Now she’s . . .” From inside the house, I heard her laugh. “She’s driving me a little crazy.”

“In what way?”

I rolled my shoulders. “I know this is going to sound shocking, but I might have made a mistake.”

“What did you do?”

“I kissed her.”

His eyebrows shot up. “That is kind of shocking. I’m surprised you’d make a move on someone you’re assigned to protect.”

“It wasn’t a move, okay?” I sat up taller in my chair. “It was a tactic.”

“A tactic?”

“Yeah. I took her to Backwoods last night, and she wanted to have a drink in the bar before we left. Some asshole came up from behind and was about to tap her shoulder.”

“Ah. Lives were at stake, and you had no choice but to kiss her.” He raised his beer to me. “You’re a hero.”

“Don’t be a dick. It was the only thing I could do in the moment to protect her.”

He grinned and took a sip. “Of course it was. Go on.”

“So even though I only kissed her in my capacity as her close personal protective agent, I believe she may have gotten the wrong idea.”

“You didn’t explain yourself right away?”

“I did, but . . .” This was the part that got tricky. “Then I kissed her again.”

“At the bar?”

“Yes.” I hesitated. “And later back at the house.”

Austin burst out laughing. “Dude.”

“Look, that one was not my idea,” I said defensively. “She put the moves on me.”

“Why’d she do that?”

I held out my arms, like duh.

My brother rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean.”

“I don’t know. It came out of nowhere! She was all, ‘Let’s go sit by the fire,’ and ‘Now I’m going to sit in your lap’ and ‘Don’t tell me you didn’t like seeing me naked.’”

Austin nearly choked. “You saw her naked?”

“It was an accident!” I glanced at the house and lowered my voice. “When I arrived on Thursday, the fucking door was unlocked and she wasn’t answering my knock, so I let myself in, and she happened to walk straight from the shower into her living room without even covering up with a towel. Who does that?” I demanded.

“You must have scared her to death. No wonder she tried to fire you.”

“She also threatened to make me sleep outside.”

My brother laughed. “Did you?”

“No. She ended up giving me the couch, but it’s like three feet too short, and my legs keep cramping up.” As if to make my point, I massaged my left hamstring. “And there are already paparazzi up here taking her picture. Any minute now I’m expecting to see a camera lens pop up over your fence. I’m telling you, so much about this gig is a nightmare.”

“But you have to do it.”

“I have to do it.” I leaned back and shut my eyes. “But I didn’t have to kiss her, and I feel like shit.”

“How come? Sounds like she was into it.”

“Because it’s a betrayal of the trust her brother placed in me.”

“Did he tell you not to touch her?”

I shook my head. “Some things between brothers are just understood.”

“I get that,” he said, “but you and Kelly are also two grown adults who can make your own decisions.”

“Excuse me,” I said, pointing my beer at him, “I seem to recall you refusing to touch Veronica because she was working for you.”

“And you were right in my face the whole time telling me I was being—let me see if I remember this correctly—a fucking idiot.”

I smirked. “You were. It was so obvious what was going to happen.”

The back door opened, and Adelaide came rushing out. “Daddy, look!” She ran over to us, and I noticed her shirt said Hart Throb in glittery pink and red letters. “She signed my shirt!” Spinning around, Adelaide presented us with her back, where Kelly had signed Pixie Hart, dotting the i’s with hearts just like she’d signed the napkin yesterday, only much bigger.

“Pretty cool,” Austin said.

“I’m going to wear it the first day of school,” Adelaide announced, her cheeks flushed with anticipation.

Veronica and Kelly came out the back door, each holding a glass of wine, and made their way over to the table. My brother rose to his feet and held out his hand. “Hey. I’m Austin.”

She smiled brightly as she shook it. “Nice to meet you. I’m Kelly.”

“That’s her real name,” Adelaide said excitedly, hopping from foot to foot. “I thought her real name was Pixie Hart!”

Kelly laughed as she came around the table and took the chair next to me. “Nope, that’s just a name a promoter liked back when he was booking me at county fairs and the like. Apparently, he didn’t think Kelly Jo Sullivan was catchy enough.”

“Does it bother you?” Veronica asked as Austin pulled out the chair next to him for her. She gave him a grateful smile as she sat down.

“It didn’t back then. Now it kind of does,” Kelly admitted. “Like I wonder if maybe I should have fought harder to keep my own name. But fighting doesn’t come easily to me. I’m sort of conflict-avoidant.”

“Could have fooled me,” I mumbled, which earned me a sharp elbow to the rib.

My dad and Owen came over, and Kelly stood up to introduce herself, giving them both a handshake and smile. Owen mumbled his name and stared at the ground, while my dad doffed his cap, beamed excitedly, and pumped her hand up and down for a solid twenty seconds. Taking a seat at the end of the table between her and Veronica, he looked delighted with his luck.

“So how do you like our town?” he asked Kelly.

“Well, I haven’t seen much of it yet,” she said. “Xander is a bit of a dud when it comes to letting me get out and about. But from what I saw out the car window, it’s lovely.”

My dad scrunched up his face. “Why can’t you let her out of the car?”

I gave Kelly a dirty look and saw her eyes were lit up with mischief as she took a sip of her wine. “I never said she couldn’t get out of the car. I just don’t want her driving herself or walking around alone or broadcasting her location to the internet.”

“But this isn’t some big, dangerous city,” my dad argued. “It’s Cherry Tree Harbor. It’s perfectly safe to walk around alone.”

“Not if you’re Pixie Hart,” I argued. “She’s not the same as you or me, Dad. People follow her everywhere. And things can get out of control quickly.”

“He’s right,” she said, forgetting the no-touching rule and patting my leg. “I just like giving him a hard time.”

“But Cherry Tree Harbor is full of good people,” my dad insisted. “You should take her around, Xander. I bet she’d like to see the lighthouse, take the ferry ride, have dinner at the Pier Inn.”

“She definitely needs to eat some fudge while she’s here,” Veronica said. “I highly recommend the ice cream too.”

“And Moe’s Diner!” shouted Adelaide, her mouth full of potato chips. “That’s my favorite. It has a jukebox.”

“All that sounds wonderful.” Kelly gave me the side-eye. “What do you say? Will you play tour guide for me?”

“Not this weekend,” I argued. “Cherry Tree Harbor is packed to the gills with tourists. Once they all go home on Monday, then I’ll take you around.”

“Deal,” she said with a nod.

“You should take her out on the boat, Xander,” said Veronica.

Kelly gasped and whacked my shoulder with the back of her hand. “You’ve got a boat? You never mentioned that.”

“I just met you two days ago,” I reminded her. “And I wasn’t hired to amuse you, just to make sure you don’t get into trouble.”

“What kind of trouble could I get in out on your boat?”

I could think of plenty, especially if she was going to be wearing the skimpy white bathing suit I’d seen in that photo, but I kept my mouth shut.

“I think it’s going to rain all day tomorrow,” said Austin, “but Monday is supposed to be nice.”

I looked up at the sky. Earlier it had been a bright, clear blue, but now I noticed clouds drifting in from the west. “I didn’t realize it was going to rain.”

“Yeah.” Veronica made a face. “It’s supposed to be kind of a big storm. They were talking about it in town today. Such a bummer on a holiday weekend.”

“When is the rain supposed to start?” Kelly asked. “I think we left windows open at the cabin.”

“Not until tonight.” Veronica looked at the sky. “Although those clouds are rolling in fast, aren’t they?”

Austin stood up. “Guess I’d better get the meat on the grill. Xander, you want to give me a hand?”

“Sure.” Rising to my feet, I followed him into the kitchen.

As soon as the door closed behind us, Austin started to laugh. “Dude.”

“What’s so funny?” I asked, bristling as he opened the fridge and pulled out a sealed plastic bag full of marinating chicken breasts.

“You are.” He gave me a familiar smirk as he set the bag on the counter. His words were familiar too. “It’s so obvious what’s going to happen.”

I folded my arms over my chest. “What do you mean?”

“I mean you and Pixie Hart.”

“Don’t call her that. It’s not her name.”

“Sorry.” He grabbed a package of hot dogs and a plate stacked with hamburger patties from the fridge, kicking it shut with his foot. “You and Kelly Jo Sullivan out there.”

“Nothing is going to happen,” I said, thinking about those condoms in my bag.

“Oh yeah?” He pulled a glass baking dish from a cupboard and dumped the chicken breasts into it. “Care to bet on it?”

I pressed my lips together. I rarely declined to take a bet, especially if winning it meant Austin would lose.

But I was nervous about my odds on this one.

“I don’t think so,” I said.

Surprised, Austin turned around and raised his eyebrows. “Why not?”

“Easy.” I shrugged. “I’m not a fucking idiot.”