Wounds in Ink

Namtan awoke to the sound of her cat meowing and scratching at her door. Groggily, she checked her phone and saw that it was already 9 a.m. She was startled—she had never slept in so late. Even when she stayed up late, she was always an early riser. But then it dawned on her: the reason she had slept so deeply was because she felt relaxed, despite everything going on. She knew Film was here, in her condo, and that knowledge had allowed her to rest.

A pang of warmth spread through her chest before the weight of reality set in. Film is here.

Namtan quickly shot out of bed and went to the bathroom to start her morning routine, her mind racing. Her cat must be hungry. She remembered texting the person who normally cleaned her condo and looked after her cat, asking them not to come today because she was home. She also recalled Film might be hungry too.  But as she went through her routine, a sense of unease crept in. Why hadn't Film woken her up? Was she still asleep? Namtan shook the thought away and focused on getting ready.

After finishing her morning routine and ensuring she was presentable, Namtan stepped out of her room, only to find the living room completely empty. The blanket that had covered Film last night was already neatly folded, but Film was nowhere to be seen. Her heart began to race.

Confused, Namtan went into the kitchen to check. Her cat followed her, meowing insistently. She distracted herself by feeding the cat, but a gnawing feeling kept her on edge. Maybe Film was in the bathroom, she thought, though something in her gut told her that wasn't it. After giving the cat its food, she made her way back to the living room, calling out hesitantly, "Film?"

She tried the bathroom door first. No answer. With a deep breath, she opened it, but the room was empty. That's when the dread hit her like a cold wave. She had just realized: she hadn't seen Film's luggage in the living room. Panic began to claw at her chest. Desperate, Namtan ran to the guest room, but it was empty too.

Her heart pounded harder now. What was going on? She sat on the couch, her hands trembling slightly, her mind racing. And that's when she saw it. A small piece of paper, neatly folded, just beneath the blanket Film had used the night before. She had seen it but had avoided it, hoping it was nothing. But now, it felt like it was the only thing left. She couldn't bring herself to open it. The note, she realized, was the proof. The proof that Film had left.

Her hands shook as she reached for it, her breath coming in shallow gasps. She opened the note, feeling a wave of dread and anticipation hit her.

Namtan,

By the time you read this, I'll probably be on the plane, heading back to New York. Don't worry, I'm not suing you. I know that would just complicate things, drag everything out, and waste everyone's time. Honestly, I don't have the energy for that kind of fight. I've had enough.

I'm glad to see you've figured out what you want, though. If what you said yesterday was true, if you really do like me, then maybe... maybe this will be the last thing you ever expected. Leaving now, walking away from you, might hurt you. And if it does, well, that's my revenge, isn't it? If I can make you feel the hurt and confusion that you put me through, then I'll know I've won.

I hope you thought I liked you. I hope you thought that, because knowing that would make the hurt more painful for you, just like it's been for me. You told me that you couldn't like me, and you should have stuck with that. Because honestly, I can't like you either. Not for anything. I just don't feel anything for you, not in the way you might've hoped. And if you're still holding on to the idea that I could ever feel that way for you, let it go.

And don't worry about Faye. I know she'll understand. She always did. You remember that, don't you? I was her ex, after all. Faye is that kind of person, the one who'll forgive everything and keep on moving. That's why I loved her—and I still do. I don't know if you'll ever understand that, but it's the truth. She was the one I wanted. Then and until now.

I hope our paths won't cross again. It's probably better that way. But just in case you ever think about doing something like that again—don't. If you ever try to kidnap me again, I'll make sure I'll sue you this time. And trust me, I'll make it stick. I won't let you get away with it again.

Goodbye,

Film

The words were a dagger to Namtan's heart. Every sentence felt like a dagger, like Film had written her hurt in ink. She collapsed against the couch, staring at the note, her breath unsteady. Film had been right there. She had been here. And now, she was gone—leaving only this cruel letter behind. The weight of it crushed Namtan, the silence that followed the note louder than any sound.

She wanted to cry, to scream, to apologize and run for her. But she knew Film was already gone.

The words hit Namtan like a ton of bricks. Film's final thoughts were as cold and final as the distance between them now. Every line was a knife, each sentence a step further away from everything she'd hoped for.

The note was everything—everything that Namtan had feared. She had lost her.

The realization hit her like a brutal punch to the gut, more excruciating than anything she had ever endured, even the abuse from her father. She hadn't expected it to hurt this badly. Was this what it felt like—truly felt like—to have a broken heart? To be left with nothing but an overwhelming, gnawing emptiness that consumed every ounce of her being? She had heard about heartbreak before, seen it in movies, read about it in books, but never did she think she would be the one to experience it so intensely, so painfully.

Why the hell would anyone willingly go through this? Why would anyone allow themselves to fall this deeply, only to end up with nothing but the fragments of their shattered hopes? The thought made her furious, but more than anyone, she was angry with herself. She had no one else to blame for this agony. No one but herself. Not Faye, not Film—no one. She had walked into this willingly, trusting that things could turn out differently. But now, in the quiet aftermath of it all, she realized the truth. She had done this to herself. She had set herself up for this heartache, had let her own hopes and desires cloud her judgment. She had let herself believe that there could be something more when all the signs had been there, clear and unmistakable.

Namtan's fists clenched, her nails biting into her palms as she tried to push away the overwhelming swell of frustration and self-loathing. She didn't want to feel this way—didn't want to face the harsh reality that her own actions had led to this. She had allowed herself to be vulnerable, to care too deeply, and now she was left to pick up the pieces of her broken heart. The anger burned through her veins, a bitter reminder that this was all her doing, and there was no one else she could turn to for answers.

The silence around her seemed deafening as she sat there, alone with her thoughts, feeling the weight of her choices. What had she expected? That everything would fall into place? That Film would suddenly change her mind after the kiss? No, she had been foolish to think that way, foolish to think she could control the outcome. And now, she was left with nothing but the cold sting of regret, a lesson learned far too late.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Hey Babes,

First of all, let me apologise for not updating on Saturday. The universe decided to throw every possible unfortunate events my way, as if I wasn't busy enough already. I know some of you might not care about this but if there's just one fan waiting for my update, I feel like you deserve to know what happened.

So here's the story. My laptop, which I bought last October and use for work, writing and everything else, decided to stop displaying anything when I opened it on Saturday. I had no choice but to take it to the service centre and unfortunately they told me I wouldn't get it back for 1-2 weeks. I was already frustrated so I called my sister to see if I could borrow her laptop. Luckily she agreed but I had to adjust my work time because she uses it too. I do have a backup laptop, but a MacBook, let's just say that I'm not comfortable using it for work. (Sorry mac fans.)🥹 Anyway, I decided to go to a coffee shop to calm myself with coffee, music and writing. I found a quiet corner, ordered my coffee, and started proofreading the chapter I planned to publish. I was fully focused, with my earphones on, and I didn't notice anything around me. Then out of nowhere, a kid crawled under my table to grab something. In the process, he bumped his head on the table and my coffee spilled all over my laptop. To make matters worse, the dad had the audacity to blame me for bringing my laptop to a coffee shop, instead of apologising. I wanted to scream at him but I decided to keep quiet because I knew whatever came out of my mouth wouldn't help the situation because I'm not in my best mindset. So I just accepted that maybe it's really my fault and that I should have not brought my laptop there.

Thankfully, some people in the shop stood up for me, telling the man it was his fault for not watching his child and they even told the man to pay for the damages, but based on his defensive attitude, I knew he wouldn't take responsibility, so I didn't waste my time and energy and with that I thanked the people who supported me and the staff who quickly helped me clean up the mess including my shirt which was covered in coffee. (Thankfully the coffee wasn't scalding but my legs still turned red. ) I fixed my things and walked out of the coffee shop feeling like I couldn't breathe. I went back to the service centre to have my laptop checked for possible damages. Luckily, the technician said they were glad I brought it in immediately, as they were able to salvage the parts before they got worsened. The good news is I'll be able to get it back by Wednesday. 🙏

It wasn't until I got home that I finally broke down and cried. It was truly a horrible weekend.

Now, I'm updating this story on my mobile, which is a bit challenging since I've never done it before. So please bear with me if there are any typos or grammatical errors. I owe you two chapters, so I'll be publishing the other one shortly.

Thank you for taking the time to hear me out and for understanding. I'm truly grateful for all of your support during the weekend. And I'll try to mention all of you on the next chapter. I love you all and thank you again. 🖤