Chapter 35: 36: A Spar Too Far

Alex

hey is everything okay?

Alex

u kind of left without saying anything after breakfast

Ariel

Yeah, sorry about that

Ariel

It’s just… I had a conversation with your mom

Ariel

And it was kind of a lot to process

Alex

oh goddess

Alex

what did she say this time?

Alex

she never fucking learns

Ariel

It’s not a big deal

Ariel

Forget about it

Alex

no, I’m going to handle this

ARIEL

What’s the best way to avoid dealing with your issues?

Work on someone else’s.

Which is exactly why I’m avoiding thinking about Maria’s ~crazy~ request by trying to help The Experiment regain his memory.

Xavi is still out there, and this man may be the key to finding him.

I’ve converted the theater room of the palace into a calming meditation center, and I’m sitting across from The Experiment with my legs crossed.

I place my hands on his temples and take a deep breath.

~Okay, focus.~

I try to direct my energy toward him, but all I feel is a faint fizzle.

“Are you... I don’t know... Getting, like, memory flashes or something?” I ask, feeling frustrated.

“No, maybe your gift has limitations,” he replies.

He may actually be right. So far, I’ve used it to heal physical wounds, but I’m not sure “memory retrieval” falls under the umbrella of my healing abilities.

“When you were in the lab... did you get any visions from the Moon Goddess?” I ask, remembering how she facilitated my own escape.

“I don’t think so,” he says, sighing. “But then again, my mind is such a mess that I doubt I’d remember if I did.”

“Well, it was mostly wishful thinking anyway,” I say.

In truth, I’ve felt my connection to the Goddess waning recently.

I’m not sure why, but it’s definitely not as strong as it used to be.

I haven’t hurt or killed anyone, so I’m not sure what the disconnect is...

How am I supposed to help this man if I don’t even understand my own powers?

Xavi’s time could be running out, and I’ve made no progress at all.

“I... I do remember something,” The Experiment says, sensing my discouragement. “I’m not sure it will be of any help though.”

“What is it?” I ask, leaning forward. “Honestly, anything would help at this point.”

“Well, it’s... it’s not tangible, but I remember a feeling. I think from when I was held captive,” he says slowly.

“A feeling?”

“Yes, like someone else was in control... like I wasn’t myself.”

My stomach clenches as painful memories resurface.

Losing control.

Seeing red.

Losing all connection to who you are.

I know ~exactly~ the feeling that he’s talking about.

“The hunters… They try to break you, make you forget who you are,” I say sadly.

“Well, they’ve fucking succeeded with me then,” The Experiment replies bitterly.

I clasp his hand and shake my head. “No, they haven’t. We’ll figure out who you are. I promise you.”

~I won’t give up.~

Xavier

hey…

Xavier

have u made any progress?

Xavier

I can’t even fucking sleep

Xavier

knowing that my heir is with those bastards

Ariel

They really did a number on the guy we found outside the pack

Ariel

His brain is fried

Ariel

But I think that he’s starting to get there

Ariel

Today he remembered a feeling from the lab

Xavier

a FEELING?

Xavier

what good does that fucking do??

Ariel

Xavier, I’m trying…

Xavier

I know I’m sorry

Xavier

I’m just going crazy over here

Xavier

I’m coming back to the Royal Pack

Xavier

I need to get away

Xavier

see u soon

***

It’s pouring rain as Xavier rushes into the pack warrior barracks and slams the door behind him.

He’s soaked from head to toe.

“Just give me a second,” I call out to him as I finish up an exercise with some new warriors-in-training.

I return my attention to the fresh-faced soldiers in front of me. “Let’s wrap up for today. Go have a drink at the White Fang. You’ve earned it.”

They grin and jab each other as they race to the door. Xavier approaches me with a smirk on his face.

“Well, you’ve certainly come a long way. I still remember when you were a warrior trainee, and I was your squad leader. Now you’ve become a real leader yourself.”

I blush at Xavier’s praise. I’m not used to it.

“They’re a bit rough around the edges, but I guess so was I,” I reply, grabbing a towel and wiping the sweat from my chest.

I notice Xavier’s eyes lingering on my low-cut sports bra.

“Yeah, but you’ve really shaped up,” he says in a tone that’s a bit too familiar for my taste.

“Why did you come here?” I ask cautiously. “I told you that progress has been minimal on the investigation.”

I actually feel a bit guilty about that.

Between mornings with Alex, afternoons with The Experiment, and evenings with my squad, I’m spreading myself ~extremely~ thin.

“I just thought that maybe if we put our heads together, we could figure out what our next step is…”

I cock my eyebrow. That sounds like a pretty flimsy excuse.

“Okay fine,” he says, reading my expression. “The truth is: Natalia is driving me insane, and I had to get away.”

My eyes widen. ~I definitely wasn’t expecting that.~

Although, Amy did say they were having problems.

“She’s just so distraught and hysterical all the time! It’s just making everything worse,” he growls.

“She lost her ~child.~ Of course she’s distraught,” I say, surprised by his lack of awareness.

“You don’t understand,” he says gruffly. “She’s a nightmare.”

Except I do understand.

Natalia has always been a nightmare. That’s nothing new.

But Xavier chose to be with her. He shouldn’t be talking about her like this.

Even if it ~is~ the truth.

Xavier gives me a wary expression.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to vent,” he says, taking off his wet jacket and sitting down on a weight bench. “I know it’s not your problem.”

“No, I’m here for both of you,” I say. “We’ll find Xavi no matter what it takes.”

Xavier nods and gives me a disarming smile, his cool eyes crinkling at the edges.

“I just really appreciate that I have you to lean on in these dark times,” he says with gratitude.

ALEX

“MOM!” I practically roar as I storm into her chambers.

She startles as I tower over her, seething.

“What did you say to Ariel?” I shout. “I thought you approved of her now!”

“I do!” she says, ~literally~ clutching her pearls. “Where is this coming from?”

“You said something to spook her! I know you did!” I say angrily.

By the expression on my mother’s face, I know I’m right.

“So what was it? What did you say?” I ask, crossing my arms. “Let’s hear it.”

“I—I only gave her a gift,” she stammers. “Your grandfather’s dagger.”

Now I ~know~ something strange is going on. Mom cherishes that dagger with every fiber of her being.

“Why the hell would you give her that?”

“Because I’m trying to be supportive of you two!” she shouts back defensively.

“No, I know you,” I say, shaking my head. “You have an ulterior motive. You’re hiding something.”

“You’re being paranoid,” she says nervously. “It was just an innocent gift. She’s a warrior for Goddess’ sake. I just thought she’d appreciate it.”

“And I’m sure you asked for nothing in return…” I say sarcastically.

“Of course not,” she replies as if she’s offended by the very idea.

I turn on my heel and march toward the door.

“Where are you going?” she calls after me.

“To ask Ariel what you said,” I growl. “I’m going to find out the ~truth~.”

ARIEL

As the storm rages on outside, Xavier and I hole ourselves up in the training arena. Surprisingly, I’m having a pretty good time with him.

“Come on, admit it! I was the only one who could match you in sparring practice!” I say with a defiant smile. “Remember that time that I threw you into the lake?”

“Oh, I remember it,” he says, laughing. “I wouldn’t speak to you for a week.”

He suddenly stares at me with a mischievous glint in his eye. “You know what... I think I need to release some of this pent-up aggression.”

He stands up and grabs a pair of sparring gloves.

“Are you serious?” I ask, scoffing.

He throws another pair at my feet. “Damn straight. If you think you can take me. Come on, it’ll be just like old times.”

As Xavier peels off his shirt and tosses it aside, I tense up.

Yeah, ~just~ like old times.

I remember how I used to sit on the riverbank and watch Xavier and James spar, admiring his chiseled chest and perfect fighting form.

~But that was a long time ago...~

“I ~can~ take you, I’m just not going to,” I say, getting up and tossing the gloves back.

“Fine, don’t use the gloves then,” he says, standing toe-to-toe with me. “Let’s face it, you’ve probably wanted to punch me a thousand times after what I did to you.”

Punching him ~does~ sound really fucking appealing.

My wolf is growling in the back of my mind. She wants a piece of him too, and I can’t blame her.

Before I can stop myself, my fist goes flying into his stomach, and he stumbles backward several steps, surprised.

I’m surprised too.

“Damn, okay. You’re really going for it,” he says, positioning himself into a defensive stance.

~Damn right.~

~This is long overdue.~

I swing again, but this time Xavier blocks my punch.

I duck down low and kick at his feet, but he uses the edge of the ring to balance.

Xavier circles around behind me and puts me in a tight hold. I can feel his sweat dripping onto my shoulders as I squirm.

“Still as feisty as ever,” he whispers in my ear.

Using my elbows, I break out of his hold and loop my arms around his neck before I drop to the ground, taking him with me.

He lays flat on his back as I pin him down.

It feels good taking Xavier down a peg.

And it feels even better doing it with my bare hands.

“You have no idea,” I growl lightly.

“Ariel?”

I look up to see Alex standing at the edge of the ring.

And his eyes are filled with betrayal.