Chapter 105: The Dark Side of the Moon

ARIEL

I don’t want to doubt Selene, but my curiosity keeps me from looking away. Fate says her sister lied to me, and I want to know what she means.

Fate’s image fades from the mirror, replaced by my own.

But it’s not me as I am now. Or even me as I was before I began healing people so frequently.

The image in the cracked mirror is a barely recognizable version of me—shackled to a medical table as Curt injects me with wolfsbane.

I know it’s just an image—a memory—but watching myself writhe in pain as my bones break feels so visceral that it’s as if it’s happening to me right now.

“Stop it,” I say. “I can’t watch.”

To my surprise, the image fades away, and Fate returns to the mirror.

“You don’t enjoy watching my sister’s handiwork?” she says. “And I thought you two were so…close.”

My heart is still pounding in my chest, and there’s a ringing in my ears. I’m struggling to bring my mind back from that point in time…

But it’s as if I’m stuck in the memory.

“What do you mean?” I say. “You sent me there.”

Fate lets out a humorless laugh.

“You did!” I say. “Selene helped me escape. Without my healing gift—”

“Without my sister,” Fate says. “You wouldn’t have needed your healing ‘gift.’”

I’m shocked that Fate would make such a claim. I’ve never thought she wouldn’t be proud to admit to her misdeeds.

She seems to register the reservation on my features.

“If you don’t trust me,” she says. “At least trust reason. All I wanted was for you to be with your destined mate, Xavier. Why would I do anything to hinder that?”

She makes a good point… Maybe my mind is still muddled from the image of my own torture, but her argument is making sense.

What I know for sure is that Fate destined me to be with Xavier. My captivity is what prevented that.

~If she meant for me to be with him, why would she want me to be kidnapped by Hunters?~

~And if she’s not the one responsible for it…~

“Now you begin to see clearly, my child,” Fate says.

Her use of the phrase “my child” snaps me out of my thoughts. It sounds so different coming from her lips than from Selene’s.

“I don’t believe you,” I say. “Selene wouldn’t…”

But I don’t know how to finish the sentence.

“If you don’t trust me,” Fate says. “Ask her yourself.”

I want to trust the Moon Goddess. I’m a werewolf—it’s how I was raised. And, besides that, I’m perhaps more connected to her than any other of my kind.

~I thought that was a gift…~

~But maybe it’s a curse.~

Apparently satisfied that the seed of doubt has been planted, Fate disappears from the broken mirror, and I’m left once again looking at myself.

I study my features—Selene’s features. After what I’ve seen and heard tonight, I no longer trust my own reflection.

And I certainly don’t trust the Moon Goddess.

NATALIA

I wake up feeling more rested than I have in years.

Chuck still has an arm wrapped around me, even though he’s deep in sleep. I snuggle closer to him and close my eyes again.

Last night was more than I could have expected.

I’ve never pictured myself with a man like Chuck. The Goddess must know something I don’t, because I’ve never been more content than I am right now.

After a few minutes of blissful stillness, I feel Chuck wake up and begin to stretch.

I roll over to face him.

“G’morning, Moonbeam,” he says.

I kiss him in response.

He sighs when we part. “Last night was…beautiful.”

I can feel myself blushing. “You think so too?”

He runs a finger down my face. The look in his eyes is pure unadulterated admiration.

“I’m so grateful…,” he says, “that I waited for you. You’re worth the wait.”

I feel queasy. The sweeter he is to me, the less I feel deserving of his praise.

Chuck’s face grows serious as something seems to cross his mind.

“What is it?” I say.

“Natalia, I have to admit…”

He pauses, and I wonder if he, too, has been keeping a secret.

“There were times I lost faith that I’d ever find you. But Fate had you in her hands all along, and I should have trusted her. She led ~you~ to find ~me~.”

If I felt queasy before, now my stomach is churning with guilt.

But Chuck isn’t finished. “Who could believe that you’d show up practically on my doorstep like that?”

Looking into Chuck’s innocent eyes, I know the question is rhetorical. But it’s such a kick in the gut to be so implicitly trusted—and not to deserve that trust.

“Yeah,” I say. “It’s…”

“Amazing,” he says. “The Goddess is rewarding us for our patience.”

I feel like if I don’t stop him, he’s going to keep going until it will be too late for me to come clean.

I want to be honest and open with him. I don’t think our relationship can continue without that, but…

“What’s wrong?” he says, looking intently at me. “Something on your mind?”

~Yes, Chuck. I’ve been lying to you about pretty much everything.~

“You can tell me,” he says. “What is it?”

I know this feels like the moment to open up—he’s even asking me to—but I don’t believe him when he says I can tell him.

If he knew that I lied to him about the beliefs he holds most dear…

He’d never look at me the same way again.

I avoid his searching blue eyes. The concern in them hurts to look at.

As much as I can’t stand lying to him, losing his respect would be worse. I can’t risk losing his trust—I can’t risk losing ~him~.

ARIEL

Having slept restlessly, I storm down the palace steps. I’ve been unable to connect with Selene mentally, and I need answers.

I’m disappointed in myself for taking Fate’s bait, but I know I won’t be satisfied until this matter is settled.

~What does this mean about Selene? About who I am?~

I’m not sure if I’m angrier at Fate or Selene, but I’m about to find out.

I cross the back courtyard and make my way to the Moon Chapel.

I allow my eyes to adjust to the dim light. This place is set up for nighttime ceremonies. It feels strange to be here during the day.

A worshipper looks startled when I enter the otherwise empty sanctuary, and I make an effort to compose my features.

“Where is she?” I say without thinking. “Where’s Selene?”

The woman, who has evidently just finished her prayers, drops her jaw and looks at me with a baffled expression on her face.

“But—you—”

It’s now that I realize my appearance must be confusing her. Surely, this woman isn’t one of those who has bought into the idea that I ~am~ the Moon Goddess.

“I’m just Ariel,” I say. “I’m here to see—”

But then I hear her in my mind. ~“Turn around, Ariel.”~

I speak to the worshipper again: “Do you mind if I have the chapel to myself for prayer?”

The woman nods vigorously, still apparently entranced by my appearance, and exits the chapel.

I turn around, and Selene is standing at the altar.

It takes me a moment to compose myself. But I remember why I’m here, and I’m not going to waste this opportunity.

“Fate spoke to me,” I say. “About my…traumatic experiences.”

A look of understanding spreads across the Moon Goddess’s face.

“She pointed out that none of those experiences were fated to happen. She says that…” I can’t bear to look at Selene as I make the accusation, and my voice wavers.

“She says that I caused those things to occur?” Selene says. “Is that it?”

I nod, ashamed to speak the words out loud.

“Well,” Selene says. “I knew this day would come. It’s true… I orchestrated your kidnapping and imprisonment.”

I suddenly feel dizzy.

I clutch onto a pew to balance myself.

~Fate was telling the TRUTH?!~

My mind begins spinning out of control as I find myself questioning everything. Selene has been my savior. The light in my darkest hour.

Now I find out ~she~ is responsible for the very cruelty she saved me from?

She’s the one who put me through that misery, torture, pain…

My heart aches as if it’s splitting in two like my mirror. Only, this time, the Moon Goddess is doing the damage.

I search my soul for the right words, but I draw a blank.

“How could you?” I say. “How? Why?”

“My child,” Selene says. “You must understand, I did what I had to for your benefit…”

I shake my head in anger.

“Trust me. It hurt me as much as it did you. But you had to be broken in order to be rebuilt even stronger. You had to experience pain in order to become—”

“Stop,” I say. “I don’t want to hear your excuses. I was tortured for ~two years~. There’s no excuse for that.”

“Ariel—”

“You had no right. I used to think your sister was the cruel one, but this is beyond anything I could imagine.”

Selene isn’t even trying to respond now. She just stands at the altar, apparently waiting for me to finish.

“Why did you do this?” I say. “So that I could become your healer? Your puppet? You’re worse than Fate.”

“I understand your anger,” Selene says. “But you must see that this was for the best. Look at you! You’ve become a healer for the whole werewolf kingdom.”

“What choice did I have in the matter, though? You’re supposed to represent free will, and yet you’ve toyed with me more than even your sister.”

Selene’s eyes darken at that. For once, her expression is clouded with doubt.

I feel tears beginning to build behind my eyes, but I’m too hurt to allow her to see them.

“You’re as twisted as your sister.”

Selene is visibly hurt by my words.

It pains me to hurt her, and yet I’m too angry to stop myself now.

“I renounce you,” I say through gritted teeth. “I don’t want anything to do with you.”

A silver tear slides down Selene’s face, and she fades away without another word. She disappears like a glint of moonlight smothered by a passing cloud.

A wave of pain rocks through me, and I collapse onto the stone floor.