Falling: Chapter 26

I’ve always tried not to warn other people when they meet my friends. It’s usually a surprise when they see how chaotic they are. I’ve been trying to prepare Wren for when we go to Sophia’s house, but she’s adamant that we’ll be fine.

Becoming the leader of the NU Press has given Sophia the perfect opportunity to make her dreams as a director real. She gets to interview students from different courses, and by the end of our fourth year, she’s aiming to create a huge graduation video to show everyone. Since the hockey season is in full swing, she’s coming around our team to interview everyone.

The only thing about Sophia and this project is that she’s kept it very secret. We’ve had mini-interviews before that she posts on Instagram and TikTok, but since this is her big project, we don’t get to see these ones until the mockumentary has been completed.

She sets up her house into a comfortable interviewing space, and the team and usually their other friends and partners join us so we can hang out afterward. I know Wren’s not going to enjoy the whole socializing aspect of today, so I try and get us the re early.

As we drive toward Sophia’s house, Wren isn’t doing that angry humming thing that she does when we drive to the gym together. Instead, she’s silent, no doubt in her head about the showcase. Which is even more concerning because Taylor Swift is playing. I turn up New Romantics, and her face doesn’t even crack.

“Hey, can I ask you a question?” I ask.

“If I say no, are you going to ask me anyway?” I glance at her and catch her playing with one of her French braids.

“Yes,” I say. “What would be the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery?”

She laughs a little, the sound rushing through me like a gentle wave. “These questions are getting more and more random,” she says. “I’d buy me and the girls a house where we could each have our own wing and then order as much pizza as possible.”

I grin. “Not even a salad? Wren, you animal.”

She laughs again. “If I win the lottery in the future, then I would probably stop skating professionally. I’d do it just for fun by that point. If I won it today, I’d just put it in savings.”

“Do you want to skate professionally? Like, the Olympics and all that?”

She sighs a little. “These last few months have put me through the wringer, but that was the goal when I first started, so I guess so.”

We get to Sophia’s house, and I park up, not wanting to end this conversation just yet. I turn to her as she stares straight ahead. “You guess so?”

“Okay, I know so.” She turns to me now, propping her leg up on the seat to get more comfortable. “I want to be the greatest.”

“You already are.”

She shakes her head, laughing. “No, Miles, I mean I want to be the best in the fucking world. I’ve dedicated my entire life to this sport. I’ve spent more hours on the ice than I have in bed since I was four years old. I’ve done everything in my power to be one of the best in the country. I refuse to drop out or give up when things get hard. I’m not going to stop until I win gold at the Olympics.”

I don’t think I’ve found anything more attractive than this. The way she’s so passionate about what she loves is so fucking admiring.

I tilt my head to the side. “You’re competitive then, huh?”

“I’m not a loser, Miles,” she says, and I swear my entire body comes alive. “I’m not a loser, and I’m not a quitter. That’s why dropping out of the race for regionals last year threw me off. I’m not letting someone else dictate my future or mess up my routine just because they can. I’m going solo from now on, and it’s the best decision I’ve ever made.”

I grin. “You’re going to do it, you know. You’re going to win Olympic gold.”

She shrugs, flashing me the cockiest smile I’ve ever seen. “I know.”

She glances over to the house and then back to me. “I just want to say that I am trying with this. With us. I know I’ve been distant, but it’s family stuff. It’s just hard to get out of my head sometimes.”

“You can let me into your brain, Wren. I’m never going to judge you.”

“I know, but this is something I need to fix on my own.”

She’s clearly keeping something from me and it’s not just stress about the showcase, but I don’t want push her on it and scare her away. There are still things about my past that I haven’t told her yet, and she’s not forced me into confessing my deepest, darkest fears to her.

When we get out of the car, I grab Wren’s hand in mine, and she relaxes into me. We step up onto the porch, and I pause for a second, knowing that inside is going to be a hell full of hockey players .

“Why are you preparing for this? It’s bound to be a lot worse for me than it is for you. This is your safe space. The last time I came here, I had a panic attack,” Wren mutters, tugging on my hand and looking up at me. Does she have to look so good all the time? Those French braids are making me want to say a huge fuck you the rules we set about PDA. “Come on, Milesy. You’re a big boy; you can handle it.”

I smile and don’t tell her how difficult it’s going to be to see the whole team together, knowing that the last interview we all did together was with Carter. I don’t tell her that it’s going to take everything in me not to rip Jake’s head off the second I lay eyes on him. Instead, I squeeze her hand tighter in mine and step up to the door.

The door swings open, and the room erupts into cheers. Music blasts from the speakers, and it’s probably Gray’s playlist playing. The entire hockey team is here, crammed into the living room and the hallway, along with a bunch of other random people I’ve never seen before. I know that the interviews take place in the soundproofed basement, so there’s no wonder why it’s so loud up here. I pull Wren with me through the crowd until we get to the kitchen, standing on opposite sides of the island.

“Is it just me, or are you getting really vivid déjà vu?” I ask, remembering the night of the party. Wren laughs, picking up one of the waters from the island.

“If only you were choking over the sink again,” she says, shaking her head at me. I’m about to make a snarky comment but Xavier appears, his arm around Michelle as they sport matching NU Bear’s jerseys. Michelle writhes out of his grip and pulls Wren into a tight hug. “Michelle! How are you?”

“I’m fabulous,” Michelle replies, pulling out of the hug and holding Wren at arm’s length. I’m sure they’ve only met once in passing, but apparently, girls can become best friends overnight. “I love your hair like this, Wren. Isn’t it so cute, Miles?”

“The cutest,” I say, no word of a lie as I watch her face turn a bright pink. It’s becoming so easy to make her blush, and I want to do it all the time.

Xavier stands beside me, smiling, as we watch our girls gush over each other’s outfits. Well, my fake girl. Because that’s all we are. The more I tell myself that, the more I start to believe it and act like it.

Maybe.

Possibly.

Hopefully?

“Those two are going to be best friends. No matter how you guys end things, you can’t make my girl upset about losing Wren. She’s, like, obsessed with her. She was stalking her Instagram before we got here,” he says, low enough for only me to hear. Honestly, I’m not surprised. I’ve always wondered why Wren doesn’t have many friends, but with how guarded she can be, it makes sense. People like Michelle would kill to be friends with this girl if she just let them in.

“Can I be honest with you guys?” Michelle says, turning toward me and Xavier. “Wren is the best person you’ve dated, Miles.”

Wren laughs, throwing her head back. “You can stop with all the compliments, Michelle. You don’t have to try to flatter me,” she says, twisting the end of her braid between her fingers.

Michelle shakes her head. “No. I’m being serious. You bring out the best in him. I’ve seen him through many stages in his life, and this is by far the happiest. Losing Carter has been hard for all of us, but you’ve made make him happier, and I don’t think I’ve seen him more smitten.”

Wren stands there, frozen. This is what we want. We need people to be invested in us, but this feels like we’re crossing a line somehow. I know she’s made me a happier person. Even if this is pretend, the way she makes me feel is so real that it scares me. Not the way that she turns me on or drives me crazy, but the way th at she talks to me, listens to me, and even when she’s trying to push me away, she still puts in the effort.

Before I can respond and try to save this somehow, Sophia’s voice echoes off the walls. Because she’s one of the most over-the-top people I’ve ever met, she’s connected a microphone to the speakers around the house.

“Hello, everybody,” Sophia’s voice booms. “I’m so glad so many of you could make it. If you’ve just arrived, refreshments are everywhere, and so is the food. We’re going to get straight into it, and I’m inviting the first five people into the basement, where the group interview will take place. Afterward, individual interviews will commence. If your name is not called, sit tight and you will be down next. First, can I have Xavier Dawson, Harry Butler, Jake Callahan, Grayson Aoki-Park, and Miles Davis downstairs? Please, and thank you!”

Xavier and I look at each other and then back to the girls. “I guess that’s our cue,” I say, nodding at Wren to come over to me, and she does. “Do you want to stay up here or come down?”

“If Michelle’s going, then I am too,” she replies, beaming at her new best friend. We start to make our way through the crowds, and I hold onto Wren’s hand as we go down the stairs to the basement. It shouldn’t be this nerve-racking. It’s just a stupid interview with my stupid teammates. That’s it.

“Miles?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“You’re squeezing my hand,” she whispers. “It hurts.”

“Shit. I’m sorry, baby,” I murmur, releasing her hand and allowing her to curl it over mine. I bring her hand to my mouth and kiss it as she blinks up at me with those killer green eyes. “Better?”

She smiles. “Much better.”

When we get down to the basement, it looks a lot more professional than I thought. On one side of the room, there’s a white wall with a neon light that reads “Sophia’s Corner” behind a couc h that’s big enough to fit ten of us on there. On the seats of the couch, there is a sheet of paper with our names on, which I’m assuming is the order Sophia wants us to sit in.

I’m on one end next to Harry, Xavier, and Gray, and then Jake is on the other end. I’ve not even bothered to look in his direction since we got down here, and I don’t plan on it anytime soon.

On the other side of the room, there are brown chairs and tables filled with drinks and snacks for the people who have agreed to stand silently and watch the interview up close. Sophia’s director’s chair also makes this whole thing feel more official. Honestly, it’s sweet how much work she puts into these things.

We all take our seats, and Wren and Michelle stand on the other side of the room, lingering around a table near Sophia’s chair. I try to get my heartbeat to settle when I notice the team photo that Sophia has hung up on the wall.

She has one of all the sports teams at NU, including the skating team, which she probably took for the yearbook. In our picture, we’re celebrating our championship win last year, Carter being held up by all of us with the trophy in his hands. I shake off the uncomfortable feeling and try to settle down. I look over at Wren, and she does the dorkiest, most adorable thing ever, smiling wide as she gives me a double thumbs-up.

If she’s there, cheering me on, I can do this.

“Are you guys ready?” Sophia asks, setting up her camera on her tripod and pressing record before mouthing a countdown. “So, we are here with the first interview of the day with some of my favorite players from the North University Bear’s ice hockey team. We have Miles Davis on your right, followed by Harry Butler, Xavier Dawson, Grayson Aoki-Park, and Jake Callahan. What a dream team, I must say.”

“When you’ve known each other as long as we have, it’s hard not to work together so well,” Xavier says, lookin g up and down the line. Everyone nods in agreement. “Of course, it was different for Haz over here, since he only just joined the team this year.”

Harry groans at the nickname we’ve all got for him, and we laugh. “Just because I didn’t play with you guys in middle school or high school, doesn’t make me that new to the team,” he retorts.

“How does it feel being the baby of the team, Harry? It must be a lot different to playing hockey in Australia,” Sophia says, crossing her legs and getting into her serious position.

“It feels good. I mean, in my town, ice hockey was pretty uncommon, so when I got offered a place here, it gave me the best opportunity to work harder for a more serious spot,” Harry explains.

“And how have you been settling in?” Sophia asks. She gets cut off by a loud groan coming from Gray. “Got something you want to say, Grayson?”

“Yes,” he concedes. “You’re asking all the boring questions, cuz. No one wants to know about how Harry enjoys the team.”

“First names only, Grayson Phillip Aoki-Park,” Sophia relays, pinning him with a death stare. “Moving on. How are you, as a team, planning on tackling the opposition in the new year? I hear you’ve got a very competitive season ahead of you, and if the playoffs go well, you could be up against the best colleges in the country.”

“Out hustle, out work, out think, out play, and out last,” Xavier says, repeating our mantra that we have been using our whole lives. Coach chants it before every game, and it works like magic. We all have our own superstitions, but that’s the one we all indulge in. Obviously, Jake snorts at that.

“Cut out the BS, Dawson,” Jake says, laughing. “What we’re really going to do is beat the competition with whatever force we have. Hockey isn’t just a physical game, it’s a mental one, too.”

“Great. Thank you for that insight, Callahan,” Sophia mutter s, scribbling down notes in her notebook. I look over to Wren, and she is not trying at all to hide the disgust on her face.

“You’re welcome,” Jake replies proudly.

“Okay, so, you all agreed to talk about this before coming, so here is just a small warning before we get into it,” Sophia begins, not breaking eye contact with me, and I know exactly where this is going. “You all lost a vital team member at the beginning of summer, and I know it has not been easy for any of you. Some more than others. I grew up with Carter, and we all knew he was going to do amazing things in the hockey world. He would have easily made it to the pros and became one of the most talked about players in North history. My next question is, how are you planning on honoring him during this season? Xavier, would you like to go first?”

Xavier nods, looking at me before facing the camera. “Unlike some of the tactics Jake likes to use, Carter was the calmest one on the team. I don’t know how we managed to win every game with him even though he seemed to be the most chilled out and relaxed on the ice. While the rest of us were pushing into people, knocking them over, Carter kept a leveled head, even when he was pushed to second string. That’s how I’m planning on honoring him, by keeping calm and spending as much time out of the penalty box as possible.”

We all nod, agreeing with the perfect answer. “It’ll be easier for some than others, I assume,” Sophia starts. “Ahem. Grayson.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. I’m only in the sin bin because I like to play dirty for the win,” Grayson says easily.

We seamlessly float into a conversation of Sophia asking rapid-fire questions before going back into the deeper ones. There’s a perfect balance between the ones we feel comfortable talking about and the more serious ones. I don’t think I could do this if it was anyone else, but because I’ve known her forever, talking to her feels easy. Fun, even .

Wren’s still standing with Michelle, watching me intently. I can tell that she’s listening to every word that I’m saying, and I hope that it’s taking her mind off skating and whatever is going on with her family, allowing her to be with us in the moment.

Sophia asks us about how we balance hockey and school, where we see ourselves in five years, and more hockey-related questions. I stay quiet for the most part, only answering questions that everyone else gets stuck on. But Sophia’s next question catches me a little off guard.

“We all know that hockey is a team sport, but what people really want to know is how you stay focused in the game. How do you ensure that you are on the right track and are going to perform your best as well as making sure it’s a team effort?” she asks.

I look down the line, hoping that someone is going to pipe up. “I think that this is Davis’s question,” Harry says, turning to me. Sophia nods, and I feel everyone’s eyes on me.

I take a deep breath and start talking.

“As everybody knows, Carter was my best friend. We grew up together, and we were inseparable. I took his death hard, and I didn’t let anybody in. I was drinking a lot—sorry Mom,” I admit, remembering that if my mom comes to graduation, she’s going to know I’ve been underage drinking. Everyone in the room laughs quietly. “I lost motivation to train, and I hardly ever went to the rink. Everything felt too hard and overwhelming, but then I met Wren.” The smile that was on her face drops as I connect my eyes with hers across the room. Her cheek twitches, and a sad smile forms on her face. “She turned my life around, and she really saw me. She became the storm to the calm, quiet loneliness that I was in, and in the best way possible. She thought that I was hyper-fixating on her instead of dealing with my problems, but I managed to kill two birds with one stone, and I got through some of my problems while also getting a gorgeous, smart, talented, and just fucking brilliant girlfriend.

”

“No cursing, Davis,” Sophia warns.

“Shit. Sorry,” I say, and Sophia gives me an evil glare. “Wait, no. Fuck. Can you take that bit out?” Sophia shakes her head at me. “All I’m trying to say is that having someone who cares about me by my side is what helps me stay focused because I know that I’m doing it so I can be the best version of myself for her.”

The room is eerily silent as I look at Wren, watching the way her features soften. Her eyes haven’t left mine since I started speaking, and her mouth is pinned into a warm smile, no doubt trying to decipher if what I said was true or not. Hell, I don’t even know half of the words that just came out of my mouth and where the truth lies within them.

I break eye contact with her, unable to bear the look on her face, and focus back on the interview. Sophia asks the group a few more questions before letting us branch off before our individual interviews. I go over to Wren, and she’s now alone since Xavier has pulled Michelle away .

“You okay?” I ask, standing in front of her. She nods. “Is what I said okay? You know, for the sake of the interview.”

“It was perfect. I don’t know how you managed to make all that up on the spot,” she replies, almost laughing. Her eyes shine.

“It wasn’t hard to talk about how much I enjoy spending time with you,” I say, stepping in closer to her. I watch her audibly swallow as she blinks up at me. I tug on her braid, forcing her to tilt her head up to me. I lean down to whisper in her ear, “They’re watching.”

She lets out a shaky exhale. “Of course.” She pulls back, trying not to make it obvious that she wants to move out of my grip. “I feel weird.”

“Why? Because they’re watching?”

She shakes her head. “No. Well, yes. I don’t know, Miles. I just— Everything you said out there sounded very real.”

I swallow. “Isn’t that the whole point?”

She looks at me for a long moment, her eyes tracing every line on my face. I let her take her time and figure out what she wants. She has so many thoughts in her head that I know it overwhelms her, but if she just let me in, let me help her, then maybe we could work through this together.

She blows out a breath. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry. I-I think I might go, if that’s okay. I really need to get a workout in tonight.”

“Seriously, right now? Can’t you stay for a little longer?” I ask, shifting my weight from one foot to the other. I don’t mean to sound irritated, but fuck, I am a little. I feel like it’s been months since we hung out, and I miss her. And she said she misses me, dammit.

“I need to go. I’ve already missed out on a lot of time just being here,” she says, looking up at me. “If you’ve got to stay to do your individual interview, I can just walk.”

“I can do it really quickly and then I can take you. I’ll just ask Sophia⁠—”

She cuts me off by rising on her tiptoes and pressing a kiss to my cheek. “It’s okay. You stay. I’ll see you soon.”

She doesn’t wait for me to respond before she’s already running up the stairs out of the basement.