My heart was pounding in my ears as I drove to the motel Jasper was staying at. I couldn't help but wonder how he would react to this news. I wasn't sure how to react myself. I felt a small fluttering in my stomach that I couldn't determine real or psychosomatic.
I thought about what the developing creature might look like. Would it look like a normal baby, or would there be something a little more supernatural about it. Would its skin be hard like diamonds? Would it have red eyes and super strength? If I carried this fetus to term, a nearly impossible thing to wrap my mind around at this point, what would it be like?
I had been playing with the thought of a smaller Jasper, but when I pictured mine and his child I always saw a small girl who had inherited my lover's curly, blonde hair and intelligent eyes. No matter how hard I tried to picture something else I just could not get the image out of my head. I had to admit, I really liked that picture.
I found a parking spot and when I looked up Jasper was already outside waiting for me. A worried look was on his face, he must have been using his gift.
I stepped out of my truck, pregnancy test in hand. Tears filled my eyes as I was overwhelmed by what was happening. Everything was moving so fast.
"Bella?" Jasper took my hands in his, "What's wrong?"
I looked down at the test I had gripped tightly. Jasper's gaze shifted to the object. His skin began to bubble with fear and anxiety. He dropped my hands and took a step backwards. There was a look of terror on his face.
"Jasper, I-" the sentence died on my lips.
"No," he ran a hand through his hair, "that isn't possible. That can't happen. I didn't- I didn't- there's no way."
"I didn't think it was possible either, but what other explanation is there?" I asked, trying not to cry.
"I'm so sorry. I had no idea. I would never have- if I had known we wouldn't - maybe you're not. Maybe it's something else - it's just not-" He didn't finish what he was saying, and instead trapped me in a hug. "I'll keep you safe, I-I promise. We'll call Carlisle. He'll help us."
"Will he?" I asked quietly.
Jasper nodded his head, "He has to. I'll fix this, I promise."
An hour later we were sat uncomfortably in the front room of the Cullens' home. Jasper was fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. Carlisle was talking on the phone in hushed whispers in the other room. He was speaking increasingly faster.
Jasper didn't look hopeful at whatever was being said. I looked at him for insight on what was happening.
"Nobody has heard of something like this. As far as Carlisle and his friends know it shouldn't be possible." He whispered to me.
As time went on his expression grew more and more grim. I turned to wrap my arms around his torso. The sharp movement made me gasp as a pain in my stomach overtook me. I grew nauseous again.
"Excuse me!" I yelled, rushing to the bathroom.
Jasper ignored that, trailing behind me. I began to empty my stomach into the toilet. He held my hair back and sat down next to me.
Between heaves I whispered, "Go away. You don't need to see me like this."
Jasper didn't say a word and didn't move from his spot. He started to rub my back with the base of his hand. His eyes were fearful, but he was determined to help me.
When I was finally finished he helped me up from my spot. He wrapped an arm around my waist as we exited the bathroom. I placed my hands on the slight bulge that I swear wasn't there before.
Again I felt a slight fluttering sensation that couldn't just be my mind. It felt like a butterfly was trapped in there, dancing around. I felt myself smile. I rubbed my hand over my stomach again. A warm feeling rushed through my veins.
I didn't know much about pregnancy. I had never even imagined being a mother, but I had seen enough movies to know I wasn't far enough along to feel her move. No, this was accelerated by some degree. I wondered how long I would have to carry my little butterfly for.
I pictured the little girl again. Her golden curls bouncing as she played. I pictured her youthful features - perfect in every sense of the word. It felt like my heart had swelled to twice its size just to hold the impossible love I had for Jasper and this baby. I had quickly made up my mind. Life without her was not a life I wanted to live. I loved my little butterfly.
Carlisle handed me a bottle of Tums as we sat down, hoping to calm my stomach. He was sat across from us wearing a completely neutral look.
"The tests all came back positive and with the symptoms," He sighed, "I have no doubt in my mind that you are pregnant, even though we thought it impossible."
Jasper whispered something low that I didn't quite catch. Carlisle's eyes looked pained as he shook his head.
I could feel Jasper's nerves as he stood up, "Do you mind if me and Carlisle go talk for a moment, darling?"
I was worried, but I shook my head all the same. He gave me a halfhearted smile and kissed me softly before leaving the room with Carlisle.
I sat alone for a while after. I kept my hands on my slight bulge and waited to feel my butterfly move. I felt the flutter against my hand.
"I don't know what to do either." I whispered to it.
I waited a little longer before I heard anything more. Jasper came back into the room, this time without Carlisle. He immediately sat down by my side and pulled me against him carefully, like he was afraid to hurt me.
"It's going to be okay, Bella. We'll get that thing out. You'll be okay. I won't let it hurt you." He whispered to me, sounding on the brink of tears that he could never shed.
My world shattered around me at the realization that Jasper didn't love the butterfly like I did. He wanted to hurt her. Tears clouded my vision.
"Thing?" I sniffled, "You called her a thing?
Jasper looked at me in concern, "You can't really want to keep it? It's going to ki-" His sentenced died on his lips. He couldn't say the rest.
More tears fell down my face as I leaned against him. I nodded my head, "I do. I want to."
He hugged me tighter, "I can't lose you too Bella, please. Not this way."
"I can't lose her," I cried into his shirt, "I need her."
I meant it when I said need. Her significance in my life was only matched by Jasper. Living without her was not an option. He understood that, I could tell by the look on his face. He knew how important she was.
Jasper didn't say another word, instead he held me as I fell asleep.
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