Chapter Twenty-One:
(Edited by: Quilac. Thanks hun :D)
Emberly's POV:
"Bless you." Lauren said as soon as I sneezed.
She works in the reception and I have to admit, she was one of the nicest girls in this company.
"Thank you. God, I feel like I am dying." I told her and got my organiser from the desk. I checked next week schedule and sighed at how busy next week is going to be.
"Is there something I should know about?" She winked suggestively and my eyes widened.
She couldn't possibly know about last night. Right...? Or could she...? No, don't be stupid Emberly, unless there was a secret agent, no one could possibly know about it. Secret agent? Where did that come from? If you think about it, we did kiss middle of nowhere. I absently checked all the appointments and sighed. I could tell it was going to be a long day and my head was hurting already. I felt like my whole body was on fire, not to forget the constant sneezing and coughing.
"What do you mean...?" I asked her, not moving my eyes from the planner.
"Nothing, apparently your boss is 'dying' too." She smirked and I faked a gasp. I am sure he is 'dying' from other reasons, such as STD.
"He is?" I questioned her back and she looked stumbled for a minute, confused on her own question.
"No... I mean yes... Ugh, go to hell Emberly. Its too early to think." She said playfully and I chuckled.
I knew what she meant, well not really, but I am not going to let anyone gossip about us. Thinking about us, I am still angry on what he did. Moreover, I was confused. One minute he had me leading and excited, and the next moment he pushed me, making me feel like I had a contagious disease. Now I have to deal with the aftermath. That's why I've always told my self to keep a safe distance from him.
I sneezed again. Damn the stupid weather. The crying didn't help either. After crying for one hour, I wondered why am I even crying in the first place? This is Arran we are dealing with. Remember, he is bipolar. He changes his mood like a girl changes her underwear. Well, he beats girl there too. I admit, I am attracted to him and his kisses were the best one I've had. Now, don't get me wrong I have been kissed before, but not like... this. His kisses were slow and effective. It was like a sweet addiction. But an addiction is an addiction and I had to stay away from this addiction as far as I could. As sweet as his kisses were, his rejection was the opposite. It left nothing but a bitter feeling inside me.
From now on I won't try to get to know him. Too much emotional attachment isn't good for me. I don't care what he does but I will maintain a distance. What was I thinking in the first place? Getting friendly with the boss? Acting like I am his friend? And thinking I can actually get to know him? I know how he and how his lifestyle is. He won't change it for me. What if this thing is only one sided? It will be me giving everything to him and he will still remain closed up. What will happen when my contract finishes? He will find a better and experienced assistant to replace me. I know I am thinking way too deep but I know in the end I will be left with nothing while he will still enjoy his life. He really hurt me this time. I needed a reality check up and luckily I got it yesterday.
I made my way to his office, knowing he was already there. I printed all the documents and made coffee for him. There is a freaking Starbucks downstairs but he preferred his coffee made by me. I knocked on his door and strolled inside. I placed his coffee on a coaster and the documents on his desk. I was well aware of his gaze on me but I kept my attention on the notepad in my hands, waiting for him to say something.
I think he got the hint because he started telling me what he wanted me to do. His voice lacked emotions, not even once did he address me by my name. I kept on scribbling on the notepad as fast as I could. My head suddenly started pounding and I flinched in pain. He noticed this because he stopped talking. I kept my gaze on the pen I was holding. Few minutes passed and he still didn't utter a word.
Why is he not talking?
Don't look up, don't look up, don't look up.
I know if I look up I will end up forgetting about everything. He has a charm to attract people just by looking at them.
Please talk or look away. No matter what happens, don't look up.
However, I looked up.
Damn it.
He had concern etched all over his face as he was gazing at me carefully. Wait, why is he so worried about? He didn't seem worried at all last night. I thought bitterly. He opened his mouth and then shut it quickly, pressing his lips in a thin line as if he was having an internal debate too. However, I was taken aback by his appearance. Don't get me wrong, he was looking handsome as always but he had 5 o'clock shadow and his eyes were bloodshot. Okay, I might have exaggerated a little bit but he had greyish dark circles under his eyes and his nose was little red.
I was about to open my mouth to question him when he sneezed loudly. I muttered 'bless you' under my breath. Oh, so this is the 'dying' Lauren meant. He must be feeling the same symptoms. I instantly felt bad; it was my fault he is in pain. I was about to apologise when I remembered he was the reason why I was in rain in the first place. I shut my mouth tightly and waited for him to continue. He sighed deeply and continued talking.
"Anything else?" I asked, feeling hard to stay still.
"Yeah, send Lucy a Louboutins's gift voucher."
I noted it down. Great, now I have to go through his contact list to find this particular Lucy. Monday's Lucy or the Friday's Lucy? But on the bright side, wow, this Lucy girl is lucky. I wonder who she is? I am sure I have heard her name before. Not again! I groaned inwardly. Remember, you are not supposed to care. This plan is failing already.
"Any special message, Sir?" I stifled a yawn. Boy, did I feel sleepy or what.
"Tell her... she was amazing last night and I am looking forward to seeing her again." He said after few minutes of silence.
I stilled, not knowing what to do; yet I refused to look at him. I was sure my face was betraying me as I felt a sudden cold rushing through my veins. I would be lying if I say my heart didn't feel constricted. Well at least, now I know where he went last night when I was crying my eyes out, wondering what went wrong. I knew it and I was such an idiot to believe that maybe he is changing. Why would he though? But why do I feel like shit? I quickly blinked few tears back and nodded my head mechanically. 'I'm such a fool'. I thought bitterly.
"Sure." I plastered a smile and scribble the same exact words he said. "And I will send her some voucher on safe sex and how to get rid of STDs too." I mumbled the last sentence quietly.
I sat down on my desk and started typing the emails. My vision blurred couple of times and I cursed myself for not taking any painkillers. Also for not getting enough sleep. The night before, it was all the excitement and last night it was all the worrying. I searched in my bag for some painkillers. I gave up and continued typing the emails. I could just ask someone but then I had to ask for his permission and I really don't feel like seeing his face. I was stapling the papers together when my phone beeped reminding me of the appointment we had with some lawyer. It was about Arran's new project and he was excited about this particular project. Something about this as his 'dream' project.
I reminded him with soft knock on his door and waited outside. He was on the phone and when he came out he had the biggest smile on his face. I smiled involuntary and stopped when I remember the look on his face last night when he suddenly left. There was a mix of emotions: anger, confusion, surprise and hurt. And then I remembered looking at my eyes; it was the same except I could see the pain of rejection. I looked away and took a shaky breath.
We both were walking silently when I suddenly felt nausea hit me. I took a deep breath. I took few more steps when I felt dizzy. Why is everything moving? I stopped abruptly and closed my eyes tightly. When I moved my foot forward I felt my legs weakening and I stumbled. Arran stopped walking and held me just about the right time. I tried to wriggle but he held me tightly. I closed my eyes as a sharp pain erupted throughout my body. I felt Arran's hand on my cheek.
"Fuck, you are burning."
"I'm fine." I tried to move away from him.
"You need to see a doctor." He said more to himself.
I couldn't help but compare how he is acting now and how he was last night. Why is he worried now? Why should I let him help me? I opened my eyes and looked around the empty parking lot. I didn't even notice how close we were standing.
"No, thank you. We have an appointment to attend." I said firmly, backing away from his embrace.
"Fuck the appointment, at least let me drop you home." He said.
"I said I'm fine." I said sternly, looking at the ground.
"Why do you have to be so difficult?" He asked me harshly and I almost flinched because of his tone.
He closed his eyes, probably trying to compose himself and I felt angrier hearing his words. Oh, so now I am difficult? What happened to all those moment when he decided to throw tantrums like five years old? From refusing to go home to making me brush my teeth, I did everything he said. And suddenly I am the difficult one?
"I know where I am wanted and where I am not." I told him equally harshly and saw him clench his jaw.
I know he does that when he is extremely frustrated. See what I mean? Sometimes, I can read him like an open book. I know stuff about him that I shouldn't. Like how he will have his coffee strong and whenever he takes the first sip, he scrunches his nose. And I hate that. I hate the fact I know him so well and all those little things make me want to like him more. I just hate it. Moreover I hate thinking about how he doesn't care. Any normal day, he wouldn't give a shit about how I act, but I know he will only get worried when he is guilty or when I get hurt. It's funny how feelings can be sometimes: someone can mean everything to you while you mean absolutely nothing to them.
I hastily took few steps and instantly everything around me blurred again. I blinked furiously as I glanced down at my hands. I was shocked to discovered that my skin was deathly pale and that all I could hear was a faint whooshing noise. Everything went black and the next thing I knew I was falling down when a strong arm stopped me from hitting the ground. The last thing I remember was getting lifted and Arran cursing softly.
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A massive THANK YOU for wishing me on my birthday. You guys made it really memorable <3
Thank you soooo much for the support :D I wish I could reply to all the comments but I do read all of them and cry a little every time :P <3 x