Chapter Twenty:
(Edited by: Kinjal. Thank you hun <3)
Arran's POV:
The reason I didn't want Emberly to attend this gala was pretty much obvious. Everything about tonight would be screaming fake. Only tonight, you will get an old douche, who probably kept nearly ten underage girls as slaves, acting and supporting the anti-child slavery organisation. That was the main reason why I don't bother attending these types of events at all. I am all in for helping others but exploiting the whole definition of charity is what annoys me the most. Even though, it is supposed to raise charity, I doubt anyone takes it seriously. You will see ladies dressed in Chanel, which costs more than the actual charity they will 'help' to raise.
I sat with Luke and Stacy and I kept glancing toward the entrance door. She should be here by now. What if she is not coming? I did act like an idiot. I really don't know what happens to me when I am around her. One moment, I want to make her smile or laugh and the very next moment I would say something to hurt her. I feel protective about her and I get angry when my own best friend hits on her, which is weird since she is only my assistant. That's why I flipped out when Luke invited her to this event. I guess I am not good at expressing emotions at all.
'It's not your fault, after what she did to you, you can't trust anyone.'
Five years ago, if someone cried in front of me I would've done anything in the world to make that person stop crying. I was the guy who always tried to make others happy. Who knew people will take advantage of him because of his father's money, but still let them as long as they were happy. I was an average guy who was passionate about photography. I was carefree.
But now, even if it still bothers me when someone is crying in front of me, I won't do anything to stop them from crying. It momentarily freezes me but that's pretty much it. I don't give a fuck if someone is happy or not. I still know people will take advantage of me in some way or another so that's why I have a hard time trusting others. I know how this works now so I hardly let anyone talk to me. It's strictly pleasure and work. For the record, I hate photography now. I didn't get rid of all the pictures I took, but I haven't touched the damn cameras till now.
This is what business does to you. It matures you way more than you are supposed to be. I was pushed in this field when I wasn't prepared. I was told I had to join one day but I wasn't looking forward to it. I had to look after the responsibilities, which I didn't want to. All my life, I was told to enjoy my life as much as I could and even having everything in hands, I didn't. I didn't let the money get to me. Only when she left me, I felt I had to do this. There weren't many options left for me. Either do it or you will be made to do it! I, gladly, went for the first one.
That's where my little assistant comes in the picture. This is where I can easily relate to her. I am damn sure she doesn't like working and she must be really desperate for money to still work for me. However, Emberly is someone who you will think ten times before messing with. Not that I am scared but I know she is emotionally weak. She'll believe whatever you'll tell her. Call her useless one time, even by accident and she will believe it for the rest of her life. That's why I am cautious with my words. But I hardly get time to think what I say to her.
Her forgiving heart is something I am confused about. Even if you'll treat her like an absolute shit she will still smile at you and forgive you. She makes me realise of all the little things I am missing in my life. Like forgiving and forgetting. I still remember how I treated her the first week but instead of ignoring me, she actually stayed and she is there for me.No matter how I treated her, I had her back. Granted, she had an amazing personality. Not only is she kind, but smart and feisty also. She makes everything look so easy that it's not even fair.
"You know what Luke? We might just leave. Arran is too busy in his dreamland to even notice us." I heard Stacy's loud voice and I turned my attention to her. Both were smiling secretively and I frowned.
"Sorry guys, I've got a lot on my mind" I replied them and they both looked at each other and chuckled. I look at them confusingly.
"We can tell." Luke winked.
I shook my head to get rid of all the thoughts. We then started talking about some shit Luke did last week. He was telling us again how a French maid 'stalked' him during his way back to his house and how she begged him for one night stand.
"Nice story man, this one was almost believable." I patted his shoulder sympathetically and Stacy stifled a laugh.
"What...? I'm telling the truth. Tell him Stacy." He told Stacey.
"Yeah Arran she 'stalked' him." She air quote stalked and we both burst out laughing.
"Oh fuck you both." His face turned sour.
"No I mean it... come on, you really expect us to believe it?" I questioned him and Stacy agreed.
He went on about how he got the CCTV clips to prove us. Ever since Luke learnt about female anatomy, let's say, he would proudly declare to us how he has done it and with whom he has done it. People who listened to our conversation would've gotten a heart attack but we were used to it.
"Hey..." A small voice said in a distance and I instantly recognised the voice. It was hers.
I turned around, only to be flabbergasted. I sensed everyone's eyes on her. I don't blame them though. Had she smiled, the world would have sigh with contentment. Had she laughed, the world would have laugh with her. And had she wept, the whole world would want to comfort her. My heart skipped a beat when I realised it was none other than Emberly.
Wait... what the actual fuck...?
I must admit black was definitely her colour. The dress she wore, hugged her body, defining all her curves perfectly. The split on the side of her dress exposed her long legs.
Damn, those legs.
She left me astonished and weirdly turned on. Especially those red lips that I wanted to crash with mine's. Even though, she was looking sexy as hell, I could sense her nervousness. She kept glancing around and kept tapping her fingers on the side of her dress.
"My, my, someone ought to call the fire department, because you're looking smoking hot." Luke said loud enough to snap me out of my stance. For some weird reason I felt annoyed at Luke. She blushed furiously, her cheeks turning scarlet red.
"Hey..." I manage to say something. She beamed at me making me smile too for no reason.
"Hey..." She answered back.
"How rude of them, please have a seat Emberly." Stacy glared at us.
"Thank you." She mumbled and sat down, pleasantly next to me.
Soon the event started and for the first time in many years, I was actually glad I attended this event. Whilst everyone else's attention was on the stage, mine was on her. I felt like a creep, staring at her but I couldn't look away from her face. She turned her face to smile at me. Her expressions were apprehensive, like she was waiting for me to say something. Also, I felt like I am forgetting something. I furrowed my eyebrows and thought about it. When I couldn't think what I'm forgetting, I turned my gaze back to the stage. I heard her sigh deeply. Soon, everyone opened the leaflets in front of them and made auctions.
As the event continued, many people, mostly men, strolled by our table. Of course, their object of interest was the lady sitting next to me. Everyone wanted to know who Emberly is and how close she is to me. To my astonishment she was completely oblivious to the attention she was receiving. She would smile to whoever introduced themselves and paid attention to what they were saying. This encouraged them more and they kept rambling on and on. I grew annoyed and decided to introduce her to some people I can trust for not lusting at her.
We were meeting my friend from school who was happily married, if I must state, when I heard the most annoying voice in my entire life.
"Arran." I shut my eyes briefly, before opening them and forcing a smile on my face.
"Kevin. What a pleasant surprise to see you here. The bar is that side." I tried my best to be formal.
Kevin was someone who I disliked the most. Even though we both got our ways believing in 'wham, bam, and thank you ma'am' but he treat girls as dirt. He had no respect for girls whatsoever. At least, the girls with me knew what they were dealing with and they were happy with it. I don't make them feel cheap, like he did.
"Who have we got here?" He ignored my tone and gleamed at her with such a furious hunger that made me shudder. I could feel a headache forming.
I placed my hand on her waist, bringing her closer to me and passed a smirk to Kevin. "Emberly." I took her tiny hand and intertwine with mine. If she weren't so close, I wouldn't have felt her inhaling sharply.
"Well, Emberly, just to let you know, I am staying in this hotel for a night, Room number 356." He winked at her and Emberly widened her eyes at his blunt offer.
"Still going after what is mine?" I gritted my teeth together and smirked when his face paled.
"Well, last time I checked, the one who was yours, isn't anymore." His said, swallowing his drink in one go and smirked. I tensed immediately and narrowed my eyes, warning him to finish this conversation right now.
"It was nice seeing you, Kevin." I dismissed him, before I lose my self-control and punch him in front of everyone.
"I heard she is happy now... way happier than you could make her." He said slowing, knowing what he was saying was just riling me up.
"Fuck off Kevin; you don't know anything about us." I spat bitterly, keeping my tone low.
"Newsflash man, she is happily fucking your ..." He laughed humourlessly and I felt my whole body going rigid.
Not here, not in front of her.
"Why do you even care?" We both snapped from the deathly glares we were giving each other and turned to face her.
"Excuse me?" He asked her confusingly.
"Why do you even care about his personal life? I'm sorry but you are sounding like a whiny desperate chick who is in love with him." She said boldly and I bit a smile, realising her hand was shaking. I gripped it tightly, assuring her and she relaxed.
"Feisty one...? I like her already." He shrugged his shoulder and replied.
"I wish I could say the same about you." She said dryly.
"It's matter of time." He winked at her and I took a step forward, this time, with no intention of stopping at all.
It was bad enough I had to see him tonight but to make it worse he was shamelessly hitting on her even though I made it clear she is mine. He had hundreds girls to make them feel smitten yet he chose the one who is standing next to me. I had a huge urge to protect her from him. Knowing the bastard he is, he won't back down without a fight.
"In that case, I hope I'm not alive to witness that unfortunate time." She turned around quickly, dragging me with her. I couldn't help but feel proud.
Heading toward bar I passed a look to Kevin, which meant this was not over yet and in return he held his flute in the air and smirked. We both sat on a bar stool, and faced the host who was still presenting items for auction.
"He was..." She trailed off hesitantly.
"Quite a thing...?" I finished her sentence with a smile of my own.
She laughed playfully and took a sip from her drink. I watched her in amazement as she acted like nothing happened. Surprisingly, she made me feel relaxed. Normally, I would've done something to get rid of this excessive energy but with her, she made me forgot about the things he said a minute ago.
The band took the stage and started playing a jazz number. Couple rose from their seat and went near the dance floor. I could see Luke dancing with two girls at the same time and when he saw me, he winked. I chuckled. She looked over my side and I held her eyes for a minute. She quickly faced straight, blushing. I've notice she was actually very beautiful, if you get to know her. When you first look at her, she'll come across as average looking girl but slowly something about her attracts you. That's when I remembered. I said how beautiful she is in my mind couple of times but I didn't say it to her. Maybe that's why she looked a little disappointed before.
Maybe, if I can ask her to dance and then tell her. Wait, I don't know shit about dancing and what if I make a complete fool of myself. Great, this girl makes me nervous too. As time was passing, I noticed she was getting tired. I had to ask her. I called her and she turned around eagerly.
"Yeah." She smiled.
She can literally swoon anyone with that smile.
Now what? Just ask her. Don't forget who you are.
"Would you..." I said hesitantly.
"Yeah...?" Her whole face lit up in excitement.
"What I mean is..." I didn't know what to say next. Since when has asking a girl for a dance become so hard?
She nodded her head, waiting for me to say something. I swear I felt the whole room screaming ask her, ask her.
Okay, now or never. I cleared my throat and sipped a generous amount of wine.
"Emberly would you like to d..."
Before I could finish my sentence my grandfather approached us and took Emberly's hand in his.
"I cannot see a beautiful lady on her own and not dancing. Can I have this honour?"
Even in his 80's, he knew how to charm a woman. And for the effect he kissed her hand, causing her to giggle. I rolled my eyes.
"Emberly, Albert Raymond, my grandfather." I introduced them rather hastily.
"I hope you don't mind for stealing your date Arran." He winked.
Actually I do. I opened my mouth to object but he took her away.
Way to go granddad!
I guess flirting was something I inherited from this old man who stole my date and ruined my opportunity to dance with her. I watch them dancing together and rolled my eyes.
I shifted my gaze to her when she was blushing, probably on what my grandfather said to her. She diverted her eyes at me for a second and laughed when my grandfather whispered in her ear. Again.
I muttered a curse and waited for the song to finish. Finally after what seemed ages the never-ending song finished and I got up. I approached her.
"It was one of the best dance I've ever had darling." He kissed her hand again and winked at me. In other words, telling me 'she-is-a-keeper'.
"Yeah, wait till grandma hears about it." I muttered and I almost laughed watching my grandfather's face turning pale.
He cussed me under his breath and finally left. Don't get me wrong, I love him but not when he stole my dates.
"So..." I turned my attention to her.
She smiled again and bit her bottom lip. Damn, that was an open invitation.
"I was saying do you..." I scratched the back of my neck.
"Ahh, just the girl I was looking for, come on babe lets dance." Luke placed his arms around her waist and took her away.
"Luke..." I opposed.
"We'll talk later man. Come on, I love this song." He chose to ignore me.
I watch her shoulders slumped down but nevertheless she smiled. She silently apologised and placed a hand on his shoulder. I went back to the bar feeling dejected. I could tell she was having a time of a year by the way she was laughing. Something I can't make her. I thought bitterly.
Again, after what felt like eternity the song ended. She walked towards me and I noticed even her walk felt sexy tonight. I took a gulp of my drink again as she approached me and stood few feet away from me. I was about to stand when my father advanced us. Unlike me, he told her how 'gorgeous' she looked. My father kept eyeing me mischievously but purposely he was delaying his stay with us.
"Father, just ask her already." I deadpanned and my father chuckled.
"Yeah, so I was saying, Emberly... Dance with me, darling."
I had to stop myself from not getting up and smashing the barstool.
She gave me an apologetic smile and placed her hand on my father's shoulder. I watched them slowly dance and felt a pang of jealousy. Jesus, I seriously cannot be serious. Getting jealous from my own father? I need help!
I watched many guys, especially old guys asking for a dance and she accepted their request politely. Her eyes would roam around to find me and she will smile assuring me. It made me relaxed instantly until another person would go up to her and request for a dance. Damn, why does she need to be so nice? I, however, had my fist clenched together as tightly as I could. Many ladies came up to me and asked me for a dance but I refused as civilly as I could. I was in a sour mood already and I didn't want their night to get ruined because of me.
As time went by, I grew impatient. One more person and I will fucking kill that bastard. I told the bartender to make something strong. Finally she was alone so I took a last swig and gave a generous tip to the bartender.
No grandfather.
No best friend.
No father.
No interruption.
Perfect. Maybe this is my chance.
I got up, excitedly, when I saw her occupied with Jason Hall. She had her hand on his shoulders and just to add fuel, he whispered something in her ear causing her to fluster madly.
By now, I was sure that bringing Emberly wasn't the greatest idea ever. What the fuck was I even thinking? And why do I even care if she dances with my grandfather, father or even my best friend. I shouldn't care. To make things worst, she seemed to be enjoying his company. I know I shouldn't blame her for all this but she should've at least realised I was waiting. People were eyeing me suspiciously; you don't get to see me sitting down alone that often.
"Hey." I heard her calling me and I turned around.
"What?" I snapped and I almost felt bad for shouting at her.
"Are you okay?" She questioned me, concerned etching on her face.
"Peachy." I replied sarcastically.
"What's wrong Arran?" She questioned me again.
"You tell me Emberly. Are you done screwing every men in this room or do you need more time?" I hissed in a low tone.
Her eyes widens in surprise. "What is wrong with you? You saw they asked me." She replied furiously.
"Don't get too happy Emberly... The only reason they asked you or anyone else will, is because of me. They want what I have. And currently you are their target so don't be head over heels." I said bitterly and regretted as soon as I saw a painful look on her face.
'Fuck... not again.'
"You are right. There is no need for me to be here. Goodnight Sir." She turned around and swiftly walked away.
"No wait... This is not what I meant." I followed her outside. I cursed when the rain hit my face. I stopped, hoping she would too but she kept on walking in no particular direction. Something she does when she is angry or upset. Getting drenched wasn't my thing but nevertheless I followed her.
"Fuck... Emberly..." I called her as she continued walking. The rain was pouring down heavily.
"Just... Go away." I heard her say softly and she jumped slightly because of the thundering. Something about her voice alarmed me.
"Shit... Are you crying?"
"For you...? Yeah right." She scoffed.
Yes, definitely crying. Hearing her cry didn't settle well with me. I am kind of used to people crying in front of me and not get affected but with her I want her to stop crying. I don't know why but I can't stand watching her cry. Especially, over me.
"Look, I'm really sorry. I know I say that a lot but... I... I wanted to be the first one to dance... With you... But when... I don't even know what I'm saying... I'm saying I got angry because I've been waiting for an hour or more... to dance with you." I explained, hoping she would understand me.
She stopped walking and turned around. Her body was trembling. "That's what you always do Arran. You push me away just when I start to think I'm getting to know you."
Her words stung me. I wanted to show her who I am but I don't want her to get hurt. She doesn't deserve the pain; it's not worth it. Why can't she see that I am doing this for her own good?
"There's nothing to know about me." I replied back harshly.
"Really...? It doesn't look like. I just want to know you better. Am I expecting a bit too much...? Just tell me. Because I can't make it work this way. If you don't want it this way then I'll go back to the way it is supposed to be." She took a step forward and stopped, keeping a few steps distance.
"You can't..." I looked away.
"I can't what...?" She took a step forward. Not the proximity.
"Get to know me." I replied her flatly.
"Why?" She whispered.
"I... Look... Just don't. Why do you have to make everything so complicated?" I yelled and she took few steps back in surprise.
"You got to be kidding me. I am making it complicated? How so?" She shouted back.
I fucking can't believe this shit. I run after her in this fucking weather to apologise and she wants to know me more?
"Why can't you be just happy?" I questioned her, feeling dejected.
It would be so much easier if she doesn't get to know me. Much easier for me to handle. I know where this will lead so I don't want her to get to know me.
"In what? For you insulting me at every opportunity you get?" She said bitterly and I lost my temper.
"Emberly you don't even realise what half of them were thinking about you. I know what I said was harsh but whether you like it or not, it was true. They didn't care about you at all. All they were thinking about were ways to fuck you. They can't see how amazing you are from inside. All they were thinking were how they can leave fucking marks all over your body. I'm sorry if I tried to protect you from them. I was hoping you would refuse but you are too nice to reject them but I know the type of people they were. am really sorry for getting angry with them because they couldn't see the intelligent, smart and witty girl I see every day. I'm sorry for trying." I inhaled loudly at the end.
There you go, I've said it. I was expecting her to fight back, argue or even worse hit me. But what I wasn't expecting was Emberly to stay still and do nothing.
"Arran..." She said after a while and I took a moment to look at her wide eyes.
"What...?" I looked away and asked her.
"Thank you." She mumbled.
"For what...?" I asked her, furrowing my eyebrows. I was confused if she really meant it or she was been sarcastic.
"For acting like a douche. Still that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me." Her lips curled up in a beautiful smile.
"I'm sure, I've said it before." I spoke in my defence.
"Yeah, only when you were drunk." She laughed and replied back.
"So, are we okay now?" I asked her and she smiled.
"I don't know... I guess so. But this is the last time." She warned me seriously. Just like that, everything was back to normal. It still amazes me how forgiving she is.
"I'll try. So what you want to do now?" I placed my hands inside my pants pocket and asked her.
"Arran, I'm wet." She said the most obvious thing and I smirked knowing what I was about to say will cause her to blush.
"What...? Already...? I haven't even made my move yet."
As I thought, she blushed but didn't say anything. I've noticed we were on an empty road and there's no way we are going back like this. She turned around, avoiding looking at me. She continued walking down the road and I followed her. She looked around mumbling 'taxi'.
"Wait." I stopped her by gripping her arm softly.
"Yeah?" She arched her eyebrows and questioned me.
"May I have this dance?" I asked her, my voice barely audible.
I was surprised at my own bluntness. I've waited a whole night and now I am not missing this opportunity.
"What...?" I know by her smile, she has heard me but she just wanted to hear it again.
"Dance with me." I said as I slipped my hand from her arm to her hand, holding in lightly. She dropped the clutch she was holding in her other hand.
"Here? In this weather?" She looked up.
"Yeah. This is the first time I am doing it but I guess I can give it a try. Don't you girls love this type of shit?" I asked her, narrowing my eyes.
"Yes we do but..."
I silenced her by placing my other hand on her lower waist and bringing her closer. She, hesitantly, placed a hand on my shoulder. We both swayed our body with the rhythm of the rain. I know I should have felt weird, dancing in the middle of road or in this weather but I didn't. In fact, it was perfect.
"You look beautiful." I whispered in her ear honestly.
"Yeah right... With my eyes looking like Panda's...? I doubt it." She arched her head back to look at me and scoffed.
"Well you are right... I've seen you better. Now twirl." I smirked and twirled her. She crashed on my chest softly and punched me playfully. I twirled her again just to tease her.
"You're not looking bad yourself. But seriously, I look awful." She rolled her eyes and it was my time to scoff.
I abruptly stopped and made her look at me. I reached for her, my hand brushing the wet strand of hair off her cheek. I brushed my thumb on her cheek to remove the mascara, which was smeared because of the rain and her tears. I repeated the same process on the other cheek. She watched me carefully.
Maybe it was the rain, or maybe it was the dimly lighted road making the atmosphere change or maybe the fact she made me breathless. I just knew what I want and this time I am not going to waste any second hesitating. I leaned in, cupping her face with one hand and slowly brushed my lips against hers. I stopped myself from smiling when I heard her gasp. I placed my other hand on her waist, pulling her tightly against me. I moved my lips against hers slowly and waited for her to respond. When she didn't, I pressed them a little harder. When I still didn't get any answer, I pulled back.
"Emberly, this is where you are supposed to kiss me back." I told her and she blinked in surprise.
She blushed and fisted the collar of my shirt and brought my face down to her. I wasted no time crashing my lips on hers. I was surprised how soft her lips felt. It started out slow, gently moulding my lips against hers. I could feel the electricity between us running through my body like a wild fire. I never thought someone could make me feel like this again. I pulled away reluctantly, giving her chance to breath. Even the sight of her panting made me want her. I kissed her lips softly before pulling back.
"You are beautiful." I murmured against her lips.
I was surprised when she crashed her lips on mine. She pecked me quickly and moved back.
"No, I am not." She whispered on my lips.
I smirked and leaned in, kissing her softly again. I pulled back when I felt she was about to deepen the kiss.
"Yes you are." I said slowly and she sighed deeply.
"No I..."
I didn't let her finish this time as I close the distance again. This time instead of pulling back I kissed her harder. Her hands that were on the back to my neck were now playing with my hair. I just wanted to let her know how sorry I am. I wanted to let her know that maybe I can be an idiot but I do care about her. I wanted to make her realise the effect she has on me.
I groaned when I couldn't feel her skin. The dress she was wearing was making it difficult for me to touch her skin. She chuckled and continued ruffling with my hair. I bit her lip softly, asking her permission. She smirked and kept her lips sealed and I grew impatient. This time, I bit her harder and she gasped. I took the chance to insert my tongue inside her mouth. She tasted sweeter than I imagined and from her soft moans I could tell she was enjoying as much as I was. Our tongues danced simultaneously as we fought for dominance. I squeezed her waist and she slowed the kissed down to moan, only for me to take the charge of the kiss. I could feel my whole body exploding with desire and need for her. I didn't care that my kiss was making her breathless.
However, I knew I had to stop it. If I didn't stop now, then god knows, nothing will stop me from taking her right here, right now. Unwillingly, I pulled back. I breathe deeply and rested my forehead on hers. She still had her eyes closed and was panting. Even my breaths were shorts. When she opened her eyes, they were dazed. Again, she stood still and kept opening and closing her mouth with no words coming out.
"What...." She panicked and I made her quiet by placing my finger on her lips.
I intertwined my fingers with hers. Even holding her hand made me want her so badly. She bent down to pick her clutch and we both walked in silence. All we could hear was the drizzling of rain, which surprisingly didn't bother me anymore. We both were lost in our thoughts.
Do I regret kissing her? Not even a bit.
Did I enjoy kissing her? More than I should.
I never thought I could lust a girl mere on her kisses. I was kind of glad it was dark so she couldn't see my south department. I didn't want her to see me like this. We made our way through the empty parking lot.
"It's so cold." She said, rubbing her arm with her hand.
That was my cue to give her my blazer but I felt like teasing her and pretended I didn't hear her. She stopped and gave me a 'you are unbelievable' look.
"Arran." She glared and I smirked.
"What? You should've brought your own damn coat." I said.
I took off my blazer and draped it around her arms.
"Thank you." She said sarcastically and we walked further, trying to find my car.
I took the keys from the valet boy, who was gawking at us. I don't blame him; we were drenched from top to bottom. I sat on my car and turned the ignition on. She sat down hesitantly and I asked for her address. Under normal circumstances, I would've took her somewhere else to continue what we were doing but I knew she wasn't ready to take all this to the whole next level and I respected her for that. I didn't want this to end in a bad note so I had to stop myself from rushing anything. She deserved more than that. I stopped my car once we reached her house. Gladly, the rain had stopped so I got out from the car and stood there awkwardly. She got out too and walked over my side.
"I had a great time." She said softly, keeping a safe distance. From the moonlight I could see her lips swollen and her skin flushed.
"I can make it even greater." I couldn't help but say it.
"Thank you but no thank you." She chuckled and hesitated.
I could sense her mentally debating whether let me in or not.
"All you have to say is yes." I just said it to tease her. She fiddled with her hands.
"Uhmm... do you want to come in." She asked me politely and even though I couldn't say no to her, I had to. But she doesn't have to know this.
"Sure." I smirked when I saw trouble in her eyes.
"You sure?" She questioned me, hoarsely.
"Yeah why not?" I questioned her back.
"I thought... Never mind." She fumbled, sounding confused.
"I'm joking Emberly. I'm going to head back. Goodnight." I told her and like a 'gentleman' I am, I accompanied her to the door.
She unlocked her door and turned around to face me again. She took a step back quickly, realising how close we were and bumped her head on the door. I suppressed an urge to smile. She closed her eyes and rubbed her head.
"Goodnight, drive safe. Don't cross any signals. Red means stop, not carry on." She said it quickly and I instantly recognised those words.
'Arran... I'm telling you, red means stop, not carry on. So you better stop.'
I watched her lips moving but I couldn't comprehend anything. Suddenly my vision blurred and I closed them tightly to recover my vision. I opened my eyes and found her smiling at me. Her eyes that were shining mischievously, lips curved up in a teasing smile and her soft curls of her blonde hair touching her shoulders softly. I smiled at her. It can't be...
She is back.
She is finally back.
I've been waiting for this moment for almost five years now. Happily, I took a step forward so our faces were just few inches away. As if my actions had mind of their own, I closed the remaining distance between us. I kissed her with all the passion I had for her. For all the love I had for her. I held her neck tightly, scared if I open my eyes, she will disappear again. Scared, she will go away again. I was so deep in the kiss when I felt two soft hands on my chest, slightly pushing me away. Then I suddenly remember what happened that night. The night she left me broken.
Wait something isn't right. This is not...
I opened my eyes and found Emberly gasping. My eyes travelled down to her hands that were still on my chest. My eyes widened in realisation when I looked at her eyes carefully.
They were blue, not grey which meant she is not...
I pushed her slightly and turned around abruptly, not believing myself. How can I kiss her thinking she was her? How can I be so stupid? Why did I allow myself to bring her up again? Why now? When I was about to move forward? Why did I have to think about her?
"Arran..." I heard her shout but I ignored her.
I had to get away from her as soon as possible. I reversed the car as fast as I could and sped away. From the rear view mirror, I caught a glimpse of her sad eyes, which made me feel like something inside me broke.
This is why I wanted to stay away from her. I fucked this whole thing up. How is it possible? Why did I think Emberly was... her? There's no one in world that could replace her. Then why did these emotions arise out of nowhere? Why it felt good to kiss her. Am I forgetting her already?
I wasn't mad I kissed her, I was mad at myself for enjoying the kiss. It was better, better than hers. I was mad at myself for finding 'her' in Emberly. I was mad at myself to leave her broken. I was mad at myself for making her believe we might have something. I was mad for leading her on, while something like this will never happen.
When I am with Emberly, she makes me forget about her. How can I do this? My love for her is not that weak. She once said to me that I will forget her as soon as I find someone to replace her and I told her she was wrong and tonight, I was about to prove her right. But not anymore. I made a promise to myself to never care about anyone's emotions and I will definitely not let Emberly change me. I knew what to do now.
"Hey Lucy, its me Arran. Can I come over to your place...? Sure thing. See you soon." I took the road to her house.
I will go back to how I was. I won't allow her to change me. I made my choice. I need to stay away from her. I need to stay away from Emberly.
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One quick question, is it possible to fall in love again?