The sea was a welcome sight, even if Ryan insisted we'd have to go further. The sun was in its last fleeting moments of light, making the shine off the waves so much more beautiful. Ryan and Castor had the tub, and the walked toward the water. Castor looked on the verge of collapse, but he still lifted Juniper up and into the sea. I walked until my knees were in the breaking waves. Castor sat down, but the water reenergized me.
Ryan joined me and splashed water on me. I did the same and soon Juniper and Leland joined us, all of us playing in the water until we were too exhausted to continue.
Castor and Juniper slept several feet apart, evidently having deemed the waves to be too much of an obstacle for them to stay cuddled up like they had been. Me and Ryan slept next to each other, Leland of the other side of her.
Her finger traced up and down my arm as I stared up at the stars. She felt comfortable next to me. Like having solid ground under my feet.
The wariness was slowly ebbing away, her lips seeming too perfect and whole to tell anything but the absolute, unfiltered truth. I knew deep down that wasn't true of anyone, but my heart had decided to have its hand at running whatever part of my brain managed logic for a time being. It did a fair enough job for everyone but her.
I fell asleep within minutes, Ryan's hand still tracing up and down my arm.
ΨÏÏ
When Ryan woke, I'd been up for a while. Her chin found its way to my shoulder. Eventually, I turned to face her.
"I haven't been to the ocean since Leland was a baby."
I looked at her. "I don't think I'd ever been away from the ocean before you know."
She nodded. "I like the land better. The ocean seems scary. Well, it seems nice and then it sucks you into it."
"I'm a siren. I don't have to worry about getting sucked in."
"No?"
I laughed. "No."
"I always wondered what it'd be like to be able to swim forever."
"Not forever. Just like you couldn't walk forever. But a good way."
"I know I might be overplaying my hand, but since you're leaving..."
I looked at her, my eyebrow cocked.
"...would you take me for a swim?"
It wasn't like we were in a hurry, but it felt weird to stay still. Ryan pouted and reasoned and it was all I could do to relent. No one else was up yet. The sun was barely up. The dawn was still weak on the waves.
Ryan shamelessly bundled her overclothes. I smiled as she walked toward me, most of her body open against the air.
"Aren't you scared the water will be cold?"
She shook her head, stepping into the foam on the shore.
I left my clothes next to her. I waded out a good way, far out enough that Ryan was up to her chest, her short hair barely staying dry.
It hadn't occurred to me to ask if she could swim. She struggled when the waves came, but she still bobbed above them. I let myself drop, breathing in the water. My breaths bubbled to the surface as I waited to the tail. I waited for a big wave, and just as Ryan jumped, I grabbed her by the waist, and we shot up.
The look of terror on her face might have been comical, but the way she clutched me wasn't.
"You okay?"
She nodded that she was, but she didn't loosen her grip. I held her for a bit, letting us bob. Eventually, she loosened, still holding onto my waist.
"I was planning on going out further, but we don't have to."
She was too close to sign comfortably, but I was able to get my message across.
"Give me a few minutes. I do want to go out further. Just a few minutes."
We spend a few minutes there, as I hugged her tight and she dug her head into my neck.
"Ready?" My hand wobbled back and forth.
"Yeah. Yeah." She stared out at the horizon.
We moved slowly, the sure moving further away, the waves settling. Soon she carefully let go of me, treading water on her own. I hadn't been swimming in what felt like years.
"I won't go far."
"Where are you going?" Her eyes widened.
I smiled, kissed her forehead, and then I waved, sinking down. When I was below the waves, I shot down, trying to find the bottom. When my hand finally touched the sand, I smiled. Air bubbles rose up, but I didn't feel embarrassed like I used to around my mother.
I stretched out, smiling at the weak sunlight shining down on me. I could still see Ryan's feet kicking, her arms just under the water's surface. I swam in lazy circles, almost like a shark. I swam, pushing myself, then turning sharply. I returned to the surface in a quick spiral, getting myself a couple feet above the water.
It reminded me of when I was little. My father and mother were still new to their estrangement. My mother didn't want much to do with a crying baby so I'd ended up with my father. By the time I'd grown up, my mother had come around to me, but they never stopped hating each other. My mother liked to teach me to swim. My first steps meant nothing to her, even if my father had liked to dote on the event later.
I loved to swim when I was little, and my mother hadn't been as distant at all. My mother had been motherly, the ideal beacon of tender love. It wasn't until she thought I was old enough to be a "proper siren" that we started to split.
Ryan smiled at me. Both my parents smiled like that when I did tricks. Whether it was juggling knives or jumping like I'd just did, they'd smiled with that same proud look. A pang ran through me.
I forced a smile. Ryan still tread water. I kept myself afloat as easily as I breathed the air.
"I think we need to start heading back."
Ryan nodded. I held her so she could sign without sinking.
"Take me under for a bit?"
I nodded. "Hold your breath."
I counted thirty seconds. Thirty seconds of looking at her face, her eyes squeezed shut, her lips pursed, her fingers holding her nose shut. Thirty seconds as loosely as I could without letting her go. Thirty seconds of a lump growing in my throat. I wanted to go home, but I had a feeling anyplace without her would be one person short of any chance of being home. But I felt so alone in the world.
Ryan's eyes fluttered open when she was back above the waters. Her smile reached her eyes. Her world was there, on the shore.
"Let's go."
Then she looked at my face.
"What's wrong? Arriana?"
"We'll talk when we have both our hands."
"Arriana?"
I swam, going slowly. We could stay in my world a little longer, couldn't we?
I deposited Ryan to where the water would be at her waist. I had to crawl my way forward. Everyone was still asleep. I gestured for Ryan to grab me my shirt. I pulled it on, feeling exposed as my tail gleamed in the sunlight, bare against the beach. The scales melted into my legs. The green darkened and browned until it matched my skin. I grabbed the pants Ryan handed me. I shivered.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm feeling homesick, but also, I know it's too soon to miss you, butâ"
"I know. I know." She wrapped her arms around me.
I dug my face into her loose shirt.
"Hey," she pulled back. "We could do enough talking right now that you'll be glad I'm gone."
I nodded, the lump still in my throat. She pulled away and sat with crossed legs, facing me.
And we talked.