28. I'll be there

I didn't pick up, why should I?

He can go back where he came from.

To Zahra.

I hanged up on him but a second later a message popped up on my notification bar.

'If you don't come out of your friend's house, I'll barge through. I don't care if her family is sleeping.'

My friend's house? How did he-

Scarlett.. she actually snitched on me.

No he wouldn't, Latifa's parents is home, sleeping. I can't bother them in their own house. They came home late and are probably tired from the work.

'Go away!' I replied.

Immediately he wrote back. 'Don't test me Layla. You know I would really break that door.'

That's it, I'll put him in his place. Last time I wasn't prepared but now... he will see.

I got up and quietly put on my pair of black jeans and a grey hoodie that I found in latifa's closet as I wrapped my black scarf on my head.

I walked with my toes, not wanting to make a sound, to the door. When I went outside I saw Amir facing me.

"What do you want from me?" I hissed. "Why don't you go back in Zahra's arms? You guys looked good together."

He looked at me and suddenly grabbed my wrist and dragged me.

Why does he keep dragging everywhere?

"What are you doing? Let go of me!" I tried to pull his hand away but his grip was solid.

He whirled around and said "You want to know what I do every night? Well then I'll show you." He opened his car and forced me in.

"What? No! I don't want to know!" I glared at him from the window until he sat beside me.

The curiosity in me got better of me. I think that's why I stopped fighting him. He didn't speak through the whole ride. And neither did I, I looked away from him with my arm crossed. The little clock on the car read 2:45, it was a wonder I was not sleepy.

The ride was surprisingly short and out of the city. Somewhere dark. Ya Allah, what if he wants me dead because I saw him with Zahra?

Was that a sacred secret that shouldn't be witnessed by anyone?

"Where are we?" I asked with a shaky voice.

"Where I spend my nights at." He said and titled his head sideways. "Let's go."

Going through the dark trees I was starting to question everything in my life. Since Amir came into my life, my life became a mess. My feelings out of place.

I always had a little note inside my mind, always planning and getting everything in order. I tried to prioritize everything I did but since my parents announced my marriage, my biggest concern became Amir.

Like I didn't even have anything else to focus on. Like my life didn't have a center to begin with, a main focus.

Amir suddenly barged into my life, made me do things I didn't dare before. He made me believe that he's into me. Maybe he's messing with me. Like every other girl he maybe used to go out with.

I'm afraid to trust him heck he can't be honest about anything. How am I supposed to accept that my heart yearns for him when he already stole it without my permission?

And yet I can't help but want to bring him out the nightmares he have every other night. I never though much about the medecins he take before but should I be worried?

What kind of medications are those?

Why does he take them?

Will I ever find out from his mouth?

Will he ever trust me?

But then again why do I expect him to trust me when even I don't do the same?

I'm not ready to commit myself to my feelings. I'm not ready to take chances but why do I feel like I already did?

Music was the first thing I heard, then followed a crowd cheering and cars screeching. I stepped into the biggest race track I ever seen before behind Amir. Not that I ever seen one before.

I halted and Amir threw me a nervous glance. His glance lingered studying my face as I looked in front of me with wide eyes.

Half naked girls, tattooed guys you name every type of outcasts, they were there. I felt conscience of myself, felt out of place with plain jeans and hoodie.

It looks like two cars are beginning when a blond barbie held two checked black and white flags. When she dropped her arms two flashy cars flew and race. I'm pretty sure passing the speed limit but I don't think they cared.

Besides no cops will be able to find this place.

"What is this?" I asked dazed. I still couldn't understand what we're doing here. Wait. Did he say he spend his nights here? Car racing?!

"You race.... with cars." I said slowly answering my own question.

Amir turned his body to me, his back to the field.

"You wanted to know, right?" He said focused on my reaction. "You already know that I get nightmares and it hard for me to sleep. Sometimes I don't sleep at all for weeks. So car racing is my escape, from everything."

He gazed is still focused on me, frowning slightly. "My mom died while I was learning to drive. It was my fault so I started this to punish myself, riding the only thing that took my mother."

What? Did she die in front his eyes? Poor thing, how it tormented him.

I felt an urge to hug him.

To tell it was okay to distract yourself.

To tell him I will always be there for him.

"If I didn't insist on driving, she would be with us now." Darkness casted down on his eyes, sorrow was obvious in them.

Right then I broke down, tears ran for him, my heart breaking for him or maybe it was my hormones that are playing again.

All these years. He had no one to lean on, to show his true self to. My feet moved themselves and I found myself hugging him.

My arms around his waist and I whispered. "I'm sorry." My ears were against his heart. I could hear his heartbeat racing like these cars behind us. "I'm sorry I didn't know."

He brought his hands up and places them on my shoulders as he pulled away slightly. His thumbs wipped the tears on my cheeks. Smiling a little probably at my stupid face.

"Don't cry, it was a long time ago." His fingers graced under my chin and lifted my head to meet his eyes. "I didn't tell you this for you to cry, I did because for the first time in my life I wanted someone to share my past. For the first time in my life I wanted to trust someone."

"I'll also be there for you, whenever you need me. Whenever you're ready. Even if you push away or pull me close, I'll be there for you to find me." I said meaning every word I uttered.

And then he did something that made the jungle inside my stomach go wild.

He brought his lips on my forehead, his fingers still under chin and his other hand on my neck. There we stood, only us and no one else mattered.

It felt cold when his lips left my skin but the feeling lingered.

I could felt my cheeks flushed and my mind went blank. I was dazed but I managed to ask. "What about the medications you take?"

He looked at me weirdly, confused.

"One night you were having a nightmare and had trouble breathing then you asked me for a medicine in your cabinet before you took them." I explained.

His eyes widened slightly "oh"

"The accidents resulted a disease, atrial fibrillation which makes me take medications. I also got a pacemaker on my chest that makes my heart beat normally and helps me breath."

I was speechless, I couldn't even begin with him. How on earth does he keep it a secret?!

"Despite it all, car racing made me feel alive." He continued. My mouth opened, closed and then opened like a fish. I had no words for him. For this information, not that it changed anything.

He smirked like an idea popped up in his mind.

"Do you want to know how I feel when I race?"

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Later beauties ❤