Chapter 22: 22 Fixated

Max

I knelt on the side of the road, numb with despair.

“Hey.” Nash was tense and cautious, like he was approaching a wild animal. Had he witnessed everything?

Had he seen my mate leave me? After three long years, without an explanation, without even a backwards glance. How was she able to do that?

It hurt. It hurt so unbelievably badly.

Nash nudged me with his foot. “Get off the road before someone sideswipes you.”

That sounded like a positive outcome. Maybe if they hit me hard enough, this pain would be over. I just knelt where I was, ignoring him. Nothing he could say would change anything.

Nash just stood and watched me for a long moment. “So, uh, what are we going to do?”

I don’t know.

As the months had stretched into years, I had never imagined that she might have chosen not to look for me. How could she not care, had everything been a lie? No, it hadn’t been. I clenched my fists and fought the burning at the corner of my eyes, and the burning of my wolf’s anguish. For the first time in years, he was pushing me with all his strength for control, and I wasn’t sure I didn’t want to just let go and give it to him. I couldn’t try anymore. I had tried for so long. I could give up and rest.

“Got the license plate. I know a guy who could get info for you,” Nash offered, his voice tentative.

I ignored him. What the hell did I need info for if she didn’t want to be with me anymore? She’d told me not to look for her anymore.

“I need to go for a run,” I said, my voice nearly a growl, and I pushed myself to my feet and staggered off towards the forest. The moment I was out of sight in the trees, my wolf ripped out of me, shredding my clothing and launching into a sprint. My mind was numb as he ran where he wanted and did what he thought should be done.

I didn’t care. There was nothing left to care about.

Gradually, the shadows grew long, and the sun set, but my wolf was still in control, and I didn’t want it back. I just dully watched the forest and the wild places as they passed me by. What was the point?

I, or rather, my wolf wandered the forest for another entire day after that first night. We’d switched roles, it was now my human side lying listless and dormant in the back of my own mind while my instincts took control and went wherever they led. I was barely aware.

Finally, I was interrupted from lying around in my wolf’s new favourite spot by Nash’s voice in my head. The lean wolf’s black fur nearly blended into the shadows of night as he padded up to me cautiously, carrying both our bags on his back. “Done playing feral yet?”

I was done, done with everything. My wolf shifted our head on our paws and turned away from the intruder. He wasn’t interested in Nash’s presence either. He only wanted the mate that left us of her own volition.

“Never seen you give up before. Kinda sad.”

“Thanks.” I didn’t care what he thought. I’d held on without my mate longer than any wolf should be expected to, and I was finally finished.

“Three years, and now you stop? After you found her?”

“It’s different if she doesn’t want me anymore.” My wolf whimpered at the thought and slumped his head onto the ground.

“Didn’t look like she didn’t want you. And I know what that looks like.”

His words made me pause. He wasn’t wrong. She did kiss me back and had cried on my shoulder, at least until that interloper arrived. The one who was probably a vampire. Who was he, anyway? My wolf’s rage consumed me at the thought of him. What was he doing with my mate? I growled.

Nash stepped back cautiously at my aggression. “I called a guy I know.”

“Yeah?” I pretended to care.

“And he got me the address to go with that license plate.”

I’d been chasing leads like that a long time and where had they gotten me? Depressed in the forest with a mate who walked away. I didn’t have the heart to hope anymore.

“And it’s for an old house about five minutes away from here.”

“Five minutes?”

“Already checked it out. Nothing there. Doesn’t smell like anyone’s living there, but it also doesn’t look abandoned.”

Then why was he telling me about this if it was another dead lead?

Nash continued since I didn’t bother to answer. “Also talked to the grocery store chick. Wouldn’t tell me anything, so I broke in last night and looked at the records. Half the store’s money comes from orders from the customer at that address. Lots of special orders, too. Picked up by a truck registered to an address at an abandoned house.”

“And?” I was so tired.

“And you don’t think it’s a bit too fucked up to be luck that your wolf brought you almost to the exact place where the truck your mate left in is registered?”

It was a coincidence. That little glimmer of hope flared again, but I was afraid of it. If she were that close, but she didn’t want...

But he was right. For a moment, she really had seemed so happy and relieved to see me. As overjoyed as I had been to see her.

“There’s more to the situation, I’d bet money on it.”

“Then what do you think I should do?”

“Figure out why your wolf brought you here. Smells like you’ve been circling this area for hours.”

“You’re right. Thanks.”

He shifted uncomfortably from paw to paw. But I meant it. I wasn’t used to my wolf’s active presence anymore, and combined with my anguish, I hadn’t been thinking logically. Nash, of all the unlikely people, had supplied the reality check I’d needed.

I urged my wolf to keep wandering, but this time, I paid attention to where he was going instead of wallowing in my own misery, and recognized that Nash was right. My wolf did seem to be fixated on the area, although even he didn’t seem to know why.

Not much ever roused my wolf since the massacre, and the only things he’d ever cared about was my pack territory and my mate. And I wasn’t at Glenshadow, so that made the only other likely explanation...

We spent the next couple of hours searching for any sign of her without success. But I grew more and more convinced that there was something I was missing.

After midnight, we retreated from the area and camped out for the night. My mind frantically tried to come up with a new plan. Something was off. Something beyond my understanding. I shifted back to human and texted Jason what was going on. Fortunately he was still awake, and I got the number for Nathaniel, our contact in the vampire court.

“Nathaniel speaking.”

“Hello, I’m Max Bernard from Glenshadow.”

“What can I do for you?” he asked.

“I’ve got some questions about vampires I was hoping you could shed light on.”

“Okay, shoot.”

“I’ve been searching for my mate, and I finally found her, but with a man I suspect is a vampire, and she left with him, maybe willingly. She seemed happy to see me, but then she told me not to search for her. It doesn’t add up. How effective is vampire compulsion?”

“Hmm. That’s a good question. It’s quite difficult and depends on age and skill of the vampire in question and susceptibility of the subject.”

“Okay. So could a vampire compel someone to leave their mate?”

“Unlikely. That would take a very strong and old vampire to overcome a bond that strong. Most of us use our compulsion for smaller things, like making a human think the fang marks in their neck is a hickey, for example. It’s not really effective for making someone forget something, or to change their feelings or intentions. And it weakens when contrary evidence presents itself. Like, if I compelled you to believe you ate steak for lunch today, but you found the receipt for fast food instead, it would weaken and possibly break. Complex lies take a lot of maintenance, and convincing a werewolf to not want to be with their mate...it just doesn’t seem likely.”

“So what you’re saying is the vampire can’t be compelling her not to want to leave with me?”

“I strongly doubt she’s under compulsion. What vampire are you dealing with?”

“No idea. He didn’t exactly introduce himself. She called him Roderick, I think.”

“Doesn’t ring a bell, but most of us collect many names. Are you sure he’s a vamp?”

“No, it’s just a guess.”

“Where did you encounter him?”

I gave Nathaniel the address and waited while he searched for information. Finally he continued, “Well, we don’t have any vampires registered there, or in that general vicinity. He might not be one of us, or if he is living there, he’s a rebel and not living aboveboard.”

“Maybe not.” I wondered what other sorts of supernatural creatures would essentially not have a scent. Hunters had ways of removing their scent, but he hadn’t struck me as a hunter, since they tended to come off as puffed up humans. “Thanks for your help.”

“Of course. If it does turn out to be an issue with a lawbreaking vampire impinging on the accords, contact me again and we’ll sort it out. It’s not the 1700s anymore.”

“I will.” My mind was already working through my next possible steps.

After hanging up with the queen’s vampire, I shifted back into my wolf form and after tossing and turning and agonizing for hours, I finally went to sleep.

The sun was up when I woke up after my fitful night. Nash went out hunting for breakfast, and I shifted back to my human form and grabbed my phone and called Will. No matter how he felt about our last encounter, I was hopeful our friendship was stronger than my manipulation. He didn’t answer, and I hoped he was just busy and not still angry with me.

About an hour later he called back.

“Hey, Max.”

“I found her.”

“Congratulations!” he said, and there was no reservation in his voice. I relaxed, understanding that he wasn’t holding a grudge against me.

“Thanks, but well, there’s a catch.”

“What happened?”

I explained everything in detail, hoping his knowledge of magic would give him some insight into my situation. Finally, I said, “I know it’s a lot to ask, but I need your help.”

“My help?”

“There’s something off here, and I can’t figure it out, so I’m hoping your expertise will find something I can’t. Will you come here and check it out? Nothing outside of your ethics, I swear.”

He sighed, but his response was not hesitant. “I’ll see what I can do.”