*Twenty*

Everything was going so fast, until it wasn't anymore

We passed the finishing point

It hit a moment later, when the second car screeched to a stop, that we had won

I looked to Finn, surprise evident on my expression. Finn nodded, confirming my unasked question

_________________

The night exploded all around us, Finn slipped out of his side, enveloped by whoever had bet on him

I clambered out my side very much ungraceful, a smile plastered on my face

Victory was contagious.

I spotted Sebastian in the distance, nodding his congratulations, I saluted him, and he winked just before climbing into his car and driving away.

After Finn was handed his winnings, and all the other racers left, not even staying a second later, they just sped away, angry or whatever.

Everyone was happy, - mostly the people who bet on Finn that night

________________

Soon after, we headed to a diner with a few other kids.

I decided to sit alone, this wasn't my scene.

Finn didn't agree with this clearly.

He slid into the booth after me, coming so close that our thighs brushed, sliding his arm around my shoulder

I flinched, but I left it there.

Everyone was happy and laughing, and I know I was being the sad – angst-y kid at the party, that put everyone down. But I couldn't help it; it just felt like it wasn't right to be happy, with everything else going on.

My mom once told me that teenagers make everything about themselves, and the smallest inconvenience was like; life and Death for them. This was one of those times.

I guess I was being an ass

But I didn't really care

I ordered a beer. The waitress didn't ask for ID.

Even if she had, I was prepared; I had a fake ID that Amanda had provided me with a few weeks ago, no questions asked surprisingly, thoughts of Kevin seemed to be all her mind was filled with recently.

The waitress was female, and like all females around Finn she was like a moth drawn to a flame. She was constantly ogling Finn with the look that I guessed; Finn had charmed her, probably had sex with her, and hadn't called her back after that

I slipped out from underneath the arm that was draped around my shoulder.

Our stuff came soon after; I opened the beer, not really caring about the food any more

I got a questioning glance from Finn

I shrugged it off, and ordered a few more drinks

This time the waitress did ask for some identification, I took out the ID with my photo, the name: Ava Yvonne Fischer in the place where: Emily Rose Harrison should've been

She nodded.

Truthfully I had been afraid that she might not believe it. It was after all the first time I used it.

I tried to make it not look that obvious letting out a relieved breath when she returned the ID.

I probably didn't succeed, because before I could take it back, Finn was already reaching for it.

He slipped the ID, reading it with a smirk, it infuriated me, I wanted to wipe that stupid smirk off his face

Finn flipped it back to me, and I stuffed it in my pocket, lifting myself to manoeuvre the card back into its safe place.

I didn't like that he had done that. So out of pride, and a tad bit of stupidity I ordered more drinks that was probably not necessary.

The rest of the night, I tried lightening up for the sake of the entourage, even made light conversation with a dumb blonde girl who thought her boyfriend was going to marry her after this year. She was a junior, but dumber than a kindergartener. Her parents didn't approve of anything she did, with good reason ofcourse

I told her what she wanted to hear; that they were dumb, and that they should respect her decisions, but it was all talk, as I probably would've agreed with her parents.

I felt Finn's hand creep up the back of my t-shirt, I left it as I was still talking to this other girl named Cindy.

Did he ever give up?

I didn't want him to think that his touch 'affected me' plus I was pretty sure he was trying to make a scene, and I didn't want anyone to suspect anything. Already I was so careful and cautious about spending time with him

But I still got snide comments

I always denied them of course, but they didn't always believe me, - some did, and felt bad for me,- almost like I was a victim of something far worse than being Finn's girlfriend.

But the majority didn't, instead they told me about how he'd leave me, or use me in a way, I'd be scarred for life.

I didn't really care about those comments, because for Finn to 'leave me' we'd have to be together first.

And that would never happen

So I simply stopped protesting, started nodding, and thanking them.

His hand grazed my bra strap now, annoyed I reached behind me and grabbed his arm clamping down tightly on his wrist, but it was a weird angle for my arm to be. My shoulder started to pull stiff

I released his wrist

''don't push it '' I hissed/ whispered - well I thought I did, but judging from the way everyone was looking at me, I suspected it might not have been that silent as I had initially thought it had been - I blamed it on the one too many drinks I've had

I turned around, red in the face

I didn't like eyes on me

Finn took this blow harder than I did.

I say this prior to what he did next

He did the most jerk-like thing possible, - which was also one of the many reasons why I steered clear of the male species. If I was being completely honest, there was another thing; guys never really fancied me. - But I assumed that was due to the fact, that I wasn't pretty enough, dumb enough or easy enough

''Come on baby, don't be like that now'' Finn said slyly

He said it implying that; other times I wasn't like 'that' - the way I was supposedly being now

This seemed to fuel my rage, because I got up in the small booth, we were all in, disturbing everyone else

''Seriously? What the fuck? Are you being that jerk right now?''

I could've contained it, I could've fought my anger, I could've just breathed in and slipped out when no one was looking

But I didn't

I hadn't

And now I was here

I know it sounds like I'm the type of person who has plenty of outbursts and gets angry all the time. - In all honesty, I never really thought about it until present time,-

Yes, I would've like to blame it on the people who made me angry, or even the thing that parents refer to all the time: hormones

But I knew better

I was acting out

That weekend I had been planning on telling Amanda about my parents and everything. - Just getting a nice load off. But we never got around to it, and I thought it was best I rather said nothing and keep it that way.

I guess it's true what people say. - Don't keep things too long inside, it's not good for you.

''Chill'' he said chuckling tensely

And I considered walking away then, - I really did.

But for some reason, arguing sounded like a way better idea at the time

''Oh, do me'' I said sarcastically

He scoffed, but I saw the colour rise into his pale cheeks

I had everyone's attention, everyone was staring at me

''You know I thought I knew your type, - in it for the chase and all that crap,- get in her pants, then that pussy is old news. But you - '' I said this, pointing a daring finger in his face

I could see the anger visibly rising, but I couldn't stop now, - I was an overflowing spring

''You are the definition of fucked up, I mean why me? You'd stoop so low?.....

You disgust me -'' I said making a show of pulling a face

Finn was quiet through it all, probably trying to 'play it cool'

''Do you have like, mommy issues or something '' I laughed bitterly

The waitress came up to our table, asking me to leave; I was apparently being too loud

I flicked her middle finger, barely looking at her

I wasn't leaving

Not till I was through with Finn

''Your mommy didn't love you enough or something?'' I sad, shocking myself by how venomous my voice sounded

''Shut the fuck up'' he yelled

Everyone was more surprised at Finn's outburst, than everything I had just said.

I was thrown off guard as well. - Enough, so that a little bit of embarrassment seeped in

I sprang out of my seat simultaneously and walked away fast, picking up the last of my dignity and walking out the door

I imagined Finn would do the same, though it would take him a while, as he had more people to get through in the booth, than I had.

I spotted Finn's car in the parking lot

Which was also the car I had come with

shit

Because I had ruined things in there, I couldn't possibly expect him to drive me home now.

My pride wouldn't allow that

I saw Finn coming out of the diner

I raced to the back of the diner, out of Finn and everyone else's view.

No way was I going to give him the satisfaction of having to see me stand alone

So I pressed my back against the brick wall at the back of the diner, while I requested an uber. The last memory I have of that night is me paying for the ride before passing out on my kitchen floor