I PEER UP FROM SHAWNâS PHONE when the clip ends. My hands shake, and my mind is alive, in constant, jittery motion like a nest of snakes. Iâm practically fucking glowing with all-consuming wrath.
If I had Jake here, Iâd tear the fucker apart.
Miaâs cries resonate inside my head on repeat, adding a brand-new layer of evil to my messed-up mind, but everything comes to a screeching halt when I spot the triplets in the doorway, faces pale.
Iâve not heard them come in.
Once Mia bit a chunk of Jakeâs dick off, he dropped his cell, and nothing more than the ceiling was visible, but her face and blond hair flashed up on the screen a few times as she rammed the toilet cover across Jessieâs head. Thereâs a second where you see him fall, and then itâs just the sound of Mia puking, Johnny on the phone with me, and my brothers bursting in, their voices raised before they tend to Mia.
They look worse now than two hours ago as they stare at me, waiting for my move. Cody wasnât bleeding in Q, but he is now, his lip split, knuckles bruised.
Itâs nothing compared to what Brandon Price looks like, standing between Colt and Conor, face swollen, nose broken. Large blood-mixed tears slide down his cheeks, creating a Halloween-worthy mess.
Heâs not looking at me, his gaze glued to the floor, both arms held by my brothers, though I doubt heâd run.
He wouldnât get far.
Anger barges into my battered mind like a Soviet icebreaker, diminishing the composure Iâve assembled thus far. Itâs overwhelming without Mia by my side. Without her magical ability to pacify the worst kind of fury.
But sheâs not here. Sheâs upstairs, asleep after suffering what no woman should ever suffer, because of this fucker who stands in my living room, crying.
I donât give a damn about his remorse.
A soul-burning, primal madness buzzes in my head, burrowing into every muscle. âShawn,â I grind out, teeth gnashing between my lips, eyes searing into the fucker responsible for Miaâs hurt.
In my peripheral vision, I catch Shawn leaning forward, either to see me better or get ready to do as I say. âYeah, bro?â
âGet out.â
Heâs off the clock now, no longer in uniform, but he is a cop. I donât want him watching whatâs about to go down and turning a blind eye. He would. He did in the past when I took my anger out on Jared and when Logan battered Asher a few years ago. If any one of us asked, heâd fucking do it, but jeopardizing his career isnât my intention.
A distressed whimper builds in Brandonâs throat. His hands ball at his sides, and he has the fucking audacity to open his mouth.
âSay one fucking word, and Iâll make sure itâll be your last,â I snap. âGet out of my house, Shawn. Now.â
I can tell by how his knee nervously bounces that heâs torn. On the one hand, he has Jack, Josh, and his job to think about; on the other, he wants to have my back and maybe stop me going overboard.
Neither Logan nor Theo will get in my way unless things get out of control, and their definition of out of control is different from Shawnâs.
âIâll stay,â he says, leaning against the couch. âIâve got a shitload to deal with, Nico. I donât want to be back here in an hour, detaining your ass, and we both know your brakes will give out without me.â
Cody and Colt shove Brandon forward. He stumbles over his legsâa sight to fucking see⦠the almighty quarterback almost falling to his knees. Not so cocky today.
His attitude betrays he knows Iâm unpredictable. At least, I used to be while I was with Kaya. No one could stand toe to toe with me and say he won.
I broke too many bones back then.
And Iâm about to up the number. Mia broke his nose, but I intend to snap his fucking spine.
âMan, Iâm sorry. It was just a prank, alright? Just for laughs, you know? Howââ
âJust for laughs⦠Was Mia laughing when you forced her into your lap at the Spring Break party? Was she laughing when you told her she had to fuck you for the broken nose?â
My restraint dies a sad death two sentences in. I spring to my feet, and my older brothers do the same, ready to either grab me or help me. Two will help for sure. The verdictâs out on Shawn. He might be the mellowest of the Hayes, but he has an unpredictable side.
Neither one reacts when I grip Brandonâs collar, shoving him against the wall. The sound of his head bouncing off the brickwork flips my stomach. Itâs dangerously close to the sound of the ceramic water tank cover connecting with Jessieâs head.
âWas she laughing when she was harassed? When she had to knee some fucker in the balls, so heâd let her go?â I ask, getting in his entitled face. âWas. She. Laughing?â
âNo.â He clears the clog of fear lodged in his throat. âNo, she wasnât. No one was supposed to touch her unless she allowed it.â
I shove him back again. Itâs fucking unnatural that Iâve not knocked him unconscious, that Iâm controlling myself even though Miaâs calming magic is two floors up.
But the thought of her works, too. To an extent.
My elbow falls back, and my fist connects with Brandonâs already broken nose.
I wouldnât be myself if I didnât land at least one punch.
His head cracks off the wall again, and I step away before his blood stains my t-shirt.
âYouâll call it off.â I pause, cracking my neck. âYouâll call off the hunt, scrap the prize and inform everyone not to lay a finger on her. Youâll apologize on your fucking knees, and youâll swear on your dick that youâll deal with everyone who says one foul word to her. That includes your psychotic girlfriend. Got it?â
He nods repeatedly, up and down like a bobblehead. Yeah. You got it. Iâll call it all off, but⦠I donât know what girlfriend youâre talking about, man. I donât have a girlfriend.â
âBetter you never get one,â Theo mutters, settling back on the couch beside Logan.
âBlair,â I supply. âDeal with her. And if I ever find out youâre playing games, gambling on another girlâs safety, youâll choke on your dick.â
âNever, I swear. Now I know what can happenâ¦â He trails off, his eyes pooling with fresh tears. âShit, man. Iâm sorry. I didnât think itâd end like this. It was just a game.â
âGirls get raped for much less than twenty-five grand,â Shawn says, still on his feet, still ready to intervene.
Heâs right not to trust me. Iâm not sure Iâm done.
âThey get raped for fucking free, kid,â he continues. âYouâre loaded and apparently clueless if you canât put yourself in the shoes of anyone without money. Youâd puke your fucking guts if you saw some of the shit I did over the years. You have no idea what people do for money.â
âIâm sorry. Really, I am,â Brandon chokes, meeting my gaze as he wipes his face on his sleeve. âYou know Iâd never do anything so stupid if I knew Miaâs yours.â
âWhat difference does it make whose she is?!â I snap. âGrow the fuck up. You have a sister! Put her in Miaâs place for a second. Would it still be a game if it was Kathy in that restroom tonight?â
âNo, of course not. Fuck, man⦠this is so surreal. That clip you played will haunt me in my sleep.â
âI hope it eats you alive. What Mia went through is your fault. Make no mistake, kid. Anyone touches her again, thereâll be fucking hell to pay. Now get out of my house.â
âIâll take care of it. I promise. Iâll call it all off.â
Colt grips his shoulder, ushering him toward the door. As soon as it bangs closed behind him, the Holy Trinity unites, standing arm-in-arm and blocking the doorway.
âListen, weâre sorry, Nico,â Cody says, sounding like heâs barely holding it together. âWe had her, we always have her, but when Grayson told us about the prize, we jumped Brandon, andââ
âI know,â I huff, massaging my temples.
âNo, you donât. We fucked up. We shouldâve paid more attention; we shouldâveâ¦â Colt cuts himself off. âWe wonât ask you to let us take her out again.â
âNo, you wonât. Iâm not her fucking owner, so you donât ask me. You ask Mia. And you better do. She needs those nights, Colt. I need her to go out and party so she doesnât regret not doing it later.â I plop down on the couch, accepting a glass of whiskey from Theo. âI donât blame you for what happened tonight. You were looking out for her when you jumped Brandon, werenât you?â
They all nod, each taking a glass from Theo, whoâs playing bartender, fixing drinks in silence.
âI didnât ask Johnny to keep an eye on Mia because I donât trust you to do it right,â I say, taking a big sip. âI just⦠Iâm working through my shit, trying to tame that controlling side. It takes time.â
Cody lets all air out of his lungs, then grits his teeth like heâs trying to get a hold of himself. âSheâs in love with you, you know? And sheâs scared youâll leave her.â
âI know,â I huff, setting the glass aside. âIâve made a few mistakes along the way, but Iâm learning how to navigate this. Sheâs not what Iâm used to, and Iâve fucked up a few times, but donât worry. I promised I wonât hurt her, and I wonât.â
He stares me down, in a mixture of apology and relief. âHow is she? You need us to do anything?â
âNo. Sheâs asleep. I donât think it hit her yet, but weâll all be here for her when it does.â
âSheâs tougher than she looks,â Colt admits, taking a seat on the piano stool.
âYeahâ¦â Conor drawls on a long exhale. âToo tough for her own fucking good sometimes.â
âââ
Mia didnât wake up screaming.
Not once. She didnât move much all night.
And sheâs still asleep, lips pursed, one hand across my ribs, the other under the pillow.
So fucking gorgeous.
I ghost my fingers up and down her arm under the comforter, getting ready for whatever comes when she wakes up.
Her hair is sprawled on her pillow, which she hardly ever uses, nestling her face in the crook of my neck or my chest, and I fucking love when sheâs so close.
Itâs not the most comfortable position, lying on my back most of the night, but if it means having Mia curve into me, Iâll gladly suffer the lower back pain.
She only sleeps in my arms on the weekends. Itâs starting not to be enough. Every night without her warm, body beside me, it gets harder to fall asleep.
My wristwatch tells me itâs nine-thirty when she starts stirring, changing positions every few seconds like sheâs trying to find one thatâll let her sleep a little longer.
Iâve been awake almost two hours but didnât dare untangle myself from her hold.
âMorning,â I whisper, kissing her head.
âMorning,â she breathes, pulling the comforter so high nothing south of her nose is visible. âDid Shawn come over last night?â
âYeah. Heâs coming back today around eleven to talk to you.â I tug the comforter and nudge her until she lies on her back. A nasty bruise on the side of her pretty face kick-starts the bright-white freeze of anger worming my mind.
The bruise is larger than my fucking hand. Red and purple from her cheek to her jaw.
âThat bad?â she asks, combing her blonde locks over one shoulder. âI wouldnât have this if not for the clotting factor deficiency. Itâll be gone in about a week.â She pinches her lips together, and a hot glow of pink spills over her cheeks. âDid you see the clip?â
I grip her waist, pulling her under me. âI did, baby, and before you ask, it changes nothing. Iâm sorry you went through that.â I kiss her forehead, moving my elbows flush against her ribs. âIâm sorry you didnât feel you could trust me. I wonât let you down again.â
âItâs not your fault. Pleaseââ she whispers, biting the inside of her cheek. âDonât do this. Donât blame yourself, the triplets, or anyone else, okay? It doesnât help anyone. It happened. Itâs done. We canât turn back tiââ
âDonât act like it didnât happen. You need time to process it,â I cut in, anticipating where this is going. Sheâs invalidating the whole thing, lessening its severity and consequences. âDonât rush. Iâm here, and Iâm not going anywhere.â
âIâm not rushing, Nico, but Iâve been through this before. After Asher, I kept everything in. I didnât talk to anyone for weeks. Ask your brothers. I spoke in monosyllables, replaying that night over and over. It took me a long time to heal. I donât want to make that mistake again.â
âYou can talk to me. I saw what happened, but Iâll listen if you want to let it out. Iâll find you a therapist if thatâs what you need.â
âI was in therapy last year. I know how to deal with this. I donât want to keep thinking about what Jake did or wonder what wouldâve happened if I had done one thing differently. I donât want to look back because if I do that I canât go forward. Iâll talk to Shawn and tell you everything you want to know, but then I want to move on, okay?â
âCan I help somehow?â
âYou can start by repeating what you said last night.â
A small smile curves my lips when she beams, eyes sparkling. Sheâs so fucking strongâ¦
âWhat did I say?â
She huffs, bracing both hands against my chest, trying to wriggle out from under me. âI wonât tell you.â
I take her hands in mine and box her in again, looking into those green eyes that hold my soul hostage. âI love you, baby.â I dip my head to kiss her, but she slaps one hand over her mouth, shaking her head.
âI love you, but I wonât kiss you until we brush our teeth.â