THE WHOLE FAMILY gathers at the Country Club on Friday morning, where a luxury bus waits to take us to an old military airfield outside of town.
Momâs events used to be more low-key, but since I bought the club and she started organizing the Balls here, her Charity became a hot topic in OC.
With an abundance of important guests came a change in how she hosts. The quarterly events now span two days. A sophisticated dinner party for the biggest donors on Friday and the main invitation-only event on Saturday.
My brothers and I are invited to Friday dinners regardless of how much we donate. We all help Mom with press releases, admin, and accounting throughout the year.
âTime to party!â Cody booms, entering the building.
Weâre greeted with a glass of champagne, the spacious lobby full of our parents, grandparents, and older brothers. Save for Thalia, whoâs pregnant, Mia, whoâs afraid of flying, and my grandparents, everyone is sky diving today.
Thirteen people.
I pledged ten grand per head to convince them to get off their asses, but in reality, Mom gets seven figures out of me every year, so a check for a quarter of itâtwo hundred and fifty thousand dollarsâis already in her pocket.
âOh, Iâm so happy to see you!â My grandmother charges past me and the triplets as if weâre invisible. Her chiffon throw, cardigan, or whatever it is, shimmers as she wraps her arms around Mia. âHow have you been? Youâre pale, honey. Were you unwell?â She glances at Grandad on the other side of the entryway. âWilliam! Look whoâs here!â
I know they play Bridge every week, but Iâve not realized how close Mia is to my grandparents. And they must be very close if my grandmother picked Mia over her three favorite grandsons standing to my left with their dates.
I know the girl on Coltâs arm. I donât remember her name, but she sneaks out of my house enough that she must be his regular lay. Itâs hard to forget her head of bright-red hair, freckled face, or thick British accent.
Conorâs date has that girl-next-door vibe heâs so into. Her makeup isnât overdone, sheâs in funky jeans and a t-shirt, and her hairâs up in a messy bun.
âIâm fine, thank you,â Mia says, hugging my grandmother before she wraps her arms around my grandfather, who sauntered over here as if heâs thirty years younger.
Heâs been complaining about arthritis in his knees since he retired a few months ago, but it mustâve magically gone away.
Once grandmaâs happy that Miaâs had breakfast, isnât hungry, thirsty, tired, or unwell, she pecks her cheek and finally notices her grandsons.
I canât make out Miaâs quiet conversation with my grandfather but notice the fondness painting his face as they talk. I donât remember the last time I saw him wear a full smile.
âRight, since weâre all here now, I say we get going,â Logan yells over the chatter, either impatient or nervous, as he bounces on the soles of his feet.
Forty minutes later, we arrive at an old military airfield, where three small planes sit on a short runway. Instructors, inside a huge hangar, are waiting for us to disembark the bus so they can start the safety briefing.
Mia spent the ride at the back with my grandparents while I gawked over my shoulder too often.
Doomed is what I am.
Fucking doomed.
One of the instructors comes closer when we gather in a large group on the tarmac.
âRight,â he says, frowning as he quickly counts the heads. âIâve got a note that fourteen are jumping.â
âYes, some are just here to watch,â Cassidy supplies, handing the buggy with Noah to grandma.
âActually, itâll be thirteen,â Cody says. âMiaâs not good with flying.â
âMake it twelve. Iâll skip the fun today.â I regret saying it before the words fully roll off my tongue.
The only reason I want to stay on the ground is to spend half an hour alone with Mia.
âWhy? It was your idea.â Theoâs eyebrows draw together, utterly confused since Iâm always the first one geared up, ready to go.
âHeâs done it so many times itâs not much fun anymore, right?â Colt says, his piercing stare searing right through me before his eyes quickly jump to Mia and back, a silent I know what youâre doing in that look.
Shit⦠busted.
I glance at Cody, wondering if he connected the dots, but heâs chatting with Logan, paying me no heed.
âOkay, twelve it is,â the instructor says, impatient to get things started. âEveryone jumping, follow me.â
Iâm sure Colt will bust my ass at the earliest convenience, and my mind blanks on how to save my face. Nothing justifies me spending time with Mia while Codyâs crushing on her. Nothing. Iâve got no line of defense.
Everyone follows the instructor into the hangar, and Iâm struck that Cody didnât say one word to Mia. He just walked right off. He needs a lesson on how to properly take care of a girl like her. But⦠I wonât be doing him any favors. Itâs not Cody she wants. Itâs me.
My grandad sits on one of the plastic chairs lining the hangar wall, and my grandma takes advantage of the portable coffee machine nearby while Noahâs asleep.
âWhy arenât you jumping?â Mia asks, following slowly in their steps. Sheâs in sneakers, her white, fitted tee tucked into a pair of high-waist jeans.
I love that sheâs so tiny. I could fucking hide her in my arms without an issue. âIâll jump if youâll jump.â
âI wish I could.â She smiles small when we reach the table. âI really do, but youâve not seen me on a plane. Iâll break down halfway up.â
âYou only live once,â Grandad says. âLook at me! Iâm eighty-two. Iâm too old to do a lot of things I was afraid to do when I was your age, and I regret them all.â
âHeâs right,â Grandma adds. âI think you should at least try. For us, the old farts who canât.â
âOne dayâ¦â she muses, watching my family as they strap up.
Grandad doesnât push further, and neither do I, even though I want to strap her in the harness and take her eighteen thousand feet above the ground to help her overcome the fear.
The skydiving party leaves the warehouse thirty minutes later. The jumpers split into three groups, board the planes, and soon enough, theyâre in the air, one after the other.
âWhere will they land?â Mia asks, glancing around as if expecting a big X spray-painted on the tarmac.
âWherever they can. They should aim for the field.â I point ahead. âBut Iâm sure weâll see at least one person land in the trees. My moneyâs on Cody.â
âIâd expect Conor to do something like that just for laughs.â
The planes rise steadily, circling above us for ten minutes before they reach the correct altitude, and everyone starts jumping out. Mia scrambles to her feet, shielding her eyes from the sun with her hand.
Thereâs awe on her face as she watches my family join in one big circle, free-falling from eighteen thousand feet. I take my shades off, covering her eyes.
âWhy arenât they opening their parachutes?â she asks after thirty more seconds, her voice higher than usual.
âIt takes one minute twenty to get to five thousand feet, baby.â I glance at my watch, catching a surprised, tight-lipped smile on my grandmother, who looks between Mia and me. Shit. I forgot theyâre here. I also forgot Miaâs not mine, and I canât call her baby, no matter how good it feels. âThirty more seconds before they can open the parachutes,â I add, doing my best to act casual.
No biggie.
Mia mouths numbers, counting down, neck craned to watch the sky. âTheyâre still falling!â she cries, ripping my shades off and gunning me down with those big eyes as if she wants me to get off my ass and⦠I donât know⦠catch them?
âLook up,â I tell her, seeing the first parachute unfold and more follow in quick succession.
Mia lifts her hand, counting white dots in the sky. âThatâs amazing!â She beams, bouncing on her feet.
I canât suppress my smile when I watch how excited she is, stepping from one foot to another. She spins around, pumping her little fists, her excitement palpable.
âYou want to jump, donât you?â
âUm⦠Iâm not sure. It seems like so much fun, butââ
I grab her hand, pulling her toward the hangar where two instructors stand at the door, watching the sky. âDonât think. One step at a time. Harness first. Thatâs not scary, right?â
She shakes her head, tightening her grip around my fingers. âDonât let me back down.â
âYou need a safe word, Mia.â I turn to the instructors. âGet us ready.â I show them my skydiving license. âSheâs tandem jumping with me.â
âAs in, Iâll be strapped to you?â
âYes,â the instructor supplies. âYouâre certified, but company policy is that we always send at least one instructor out with you.â
âAs long as sheâs with me, I donât care how many of you want to jump.â
He bobs his head, and we get a condensed safety briefing while Iâm gearing Mia up, triple-checking every strap before I get my gear on.
Iâm buzzing, and it has nothing to do with skydiving. Iâve completed my fair share of jumps, but now that I have Mia with me, itâll be something else.
âIâm scared,â she says when the first plane lands. âMy heart is going so fast.â
I take her chin between my thumb and forefinger, tipping her head back. âDonât think ahead. All you have to do is trust me that Iâll get you back down safely. Iâve done this plenty of times. Iâve got you.â
The instructor runs to the cockpit, waving us over.
âRed,â I say, clutching Miaâs hand. âThatâs your safe word. Unless you say red, weâre taking the fast way down. I donât care if you hit me, puke, or cry. I donât care if you scream or beg. Iâll slap your pretty butt if you bite, but I wonât listen until you say red, understood?â
âKeep talking, okay? Anything, just talk.â
I halt, catch her jaw, and turn her head my way. âWhat did I just tell you?â
âThat youâll spank me,â she utters, cheeks rosy.
âYou make it damn near impossible not to when you blush like that. Whatâs your safe word?â
âUmâ¦â She looks around, biting her lip. âRed.â
âGood girl. Use it if you have to.â
Half a minute later, weâre on the plane. I sit Mia between my legs for take-off, my arms around her even before the instructor straps the pretty little blonde to my harness.
Nothing ever felt as natural as holding her close.
âTalk,â she pleads, wiggling her fingers like sheâs typing a long essay. âPlease, just talk.â
And so I do.
I talk all the time.
I tell her I expect sheâll play one song for me at the Ball and that I want a dance. I tell her I know her dad, and that he sent me VIP tickets for the Austin GP in September. Itâs a given Mia will be attending, so I promise to drive her there since sheâs afraid of flying. Iâd fucking carry her there on my back just to spend time with her.
Her pulse accelerates along with the plane, reaching its limit when we start ascending. I knot our fingers, wrapping our arms around her tiny frame.
âThe first time I jumped, I was twenty-four. Nothing compares to the first jump, so take in the views.â
âSixty seconds!â the pilot shouts.
âIâm scared,â Mia wails, clutching my fingers hard enough to cut off circulation. âI changed my mind. I want to go back! Please, I donât want to do this anymore! I feel sick. Oh God! Yellow! Orange! Please, Iâll do anything you want, justââ
âThe word is red, and youâre doing great. Donât think.â I haul us up, gripping the handle. âClose your eyes, Mia. Breathe in for me.â
I canât see if she followed the first instruction, but sheâs definitely breathing.
Sheâs fucking hyperventilating.
âPlease, we donât have to do this! Itâs so far down. What if the parachute doesnât open? What if we crash? What ifâ¦â She chokes on the words.
My arm curves around her middle. âWe wonât crash. The parachute will open, and youâll love this. I promise.â
âThirty seconds!â The instructor opens the door, and Mia starts trembling so hard I wonder if sheâs crying.
Still, no red.
âYouâre such a good girl,â I say in her ear, leaving a kiss there. âBreathe. Donât think. Youâre safe with me.â
âFifteen seconds!â
âOh, no, no, no, no!â Mia shakes her head, leaving angry, half-moon marks in my arm with her nails. âNo, please! I donât want to do this! Let me go!â
âRed, baby. Say red, and we stop.â
But instead of the safe word, she chants no on repeat like itâs a coping mechanism.
The instructor gives me a hand signal as if he knows itâs better not to yell jump, or Mia will freak out. Not that she isnât already⦠I fucking love that about her. Sheâs not pretending, not hiding her feelings. Sheâs fighting the fear.
I grip both of her hands, knotting our fingers, and step toward the edge of the plane, nothing but open space as far as the eye can see.
âNo, please, please, I canât do this, I canâtâ¦â
I stamp a kiss on the crown of her head and outstretch our hands to the sides, tilting us forward. Weâre out of the plane the next second, and Miaâs screaming.
The high-pitched wail cuts through the air like a scalpel. Iâm pretty sure itâs supposed to be a very long e in red, but too late.
âOpen your eyes,â I yell over the sound of air going by us at a hundred and twenty miles per hour, even though I shouldnât talk in freefall. âLook around!â
The screaming ceases instantly, and Miaâs fingers tighten their hold around mine. Sheâs excited. I can tell. I fucking know her so well by now that I read her reactions with ease.
I remember my first jump, the sensory overload, and Iâm so glad Miaâs experiencing this in my armsâthe earth from an angle sheâs never seen before, the feeling of weightlessness as we fall, the smell of the freshest air you can get.
This is my six-hundred and thirteenth jump, but except for the first, none compare to this one. I hold Miaâs hands in mine and steer, bending her elbows and forcing my body into an arch until we do a three-sixty flip in the air.
âAgain!â she cries, the word barely reaching my ears.
This time she arches with me, making the flip easier. Weâre getting closer to five thousand feet, so I let go of her hand, showing her the signal for pull.
I glance around, checking the position of the two instructors behind us before I pull the line. Weâre jerked in the air when the white canvas takes the strain.
Mia lets out an ecstatic cheer that makes me feel weightless. Thereâs no fear left in her petite body: just adrenaline and happiness.
âWe jumped!â
I steer the parachute toward the field far below, where my family is, nothing more than a few dots scattered around the grass and tarmac.
âThat wasnât so scary, was it?â
âWe jumped out of a plane!â She bounces in the harness, swinging us from side to side.
âI know youâre excited, but you need to stay still, or weâll land in the river.â
She stills, but her fingers pump around my wrists like sheâll explode if she doesnât let the emotions out somehow.
âThank you! Iâm glad you didnât let me back down!â
I dip my head and press my lips to her hair, only realizing what I did once the honeysuckle scent invades my nose.
âYou did great. Long-haul to Europe will be a breeze.â
The parachute jerks about, swinging us back to front when she starts bouncing again. I take a long way down, circling longer than necessary.
Miaâs turning her head left and right, taking in the views. I want to prolong that for her as much as possible.
âLegs out,â I instruct when weâre about to land.
She gets in position, surprising me that despite all her fear she managed to focus on what the instructors were saying during the safety briefing.
When I land alone, I end up on my own two feet, but landing with Mia isnât graceful. Itâs a mess, if Iâm honest. Iâm trying to hit the ground first, so she doesnât bruise that perfect ass.
It works. I bruise mine instead.
Weâre on the ground on an uphill part of the field, quite the distance from the tarmac. I lay on my back in the longish grass, Mia on top of me, her back flush against my chest. I unbuckle the harness that straps us together when the parachute settles over us like a huge blanket.
âThat wasââ fun, I want to say, but she rolls onto her stomach, and those perfect, plump lips cover mine.
The kiss is short, sweet⦠nothing more than a peck. Iâm sure the emotions she has no idea how to unleash are to blame, but Iâm done.
Iâm done the second her lips touch mine.
My fingers disappear in her hair when she tries to move away, and I pull her back, seizing the moment as I sweep my tongue along the seam of her mouth, begging for more.
She opens for me on cue, making me groan. She tastes like candy. Sweet. Too sweet. Fucking addictive.
My heart threatens with a coronary, pounding so hard it resonates in all directions. And I swear the world stops spinning on its axis when I bite her lower lip, sucking it into my mouth the way I imagined for weeks.
Miaâs fingertips gently press into my cheekbones. The featherlight touch annihilates the noise thatâs layered my thoughts for years. Itâs never been this quiet in my head.
Thereâs nothing there save for Mia. Save for the softness of her hair under my fingertips, the plumpness of her lips working with mine, and the weight of her warm body.
She ghosts one hand lower, tracing the column of my throat until she grabs a handful of my t-shirt. I grip her jaw, steering her gorgeous face, devouring that sweet mouth over again, but I canât get enough. Iâll never get enough of her.
This is more than I imagined.
More than I ever hoped for.
I drape one hand around her back and grip her waist, ready to flip us over, so Iâm on top, dictating the pace, but Theoâs amused voice booms somewhere on my right.
âShit, are you okay there? That looked like a hard landing.â
Fuck.
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
His words bring a reality check that hurts more than if he hit me square in the jaw. The world beyond the parachute canvas didnât exist for a moment.
Now, it seeps back in, unwanted.
My eyes fly open, my head far from quiet. In fact, thereâs so much going on I feel the tendrils of a badass headache setting in. Miaâs still on me, her cheeks deliciously pink, the green of her irises almost wiped out by blown pupils.
Shame washes over me like some biblical hurricane when reality settles in.
What have I done?
What have we done?
What the fuck has she done?!
I still hold her face with one hand, my thumb sweeping her bottom lip. My stomach wrenches with a mixture of nerves, longing, and shame. God, I want her.
Mine.
My girlâ¦
Codyâs.
âWeâre okay,â I say, swallowing hard.
Theo tugs the parachute, trying to pull it off as more footsteps approach. I move Mia to my side, my mind all over the place. Even though Iâm the biggest asshole, I want that sweet mouth of hers back on mine so much it feels like Iâm walking against the strongest blizzard, fighting not to kiss her.
Iâm shaking, but that might be because Iâm mad at Mia, myself, Cody, and karma.
âIâm sorry,â she whispers, her cheeks deliciously pink, lips even plumperâswollen from my kisses.
She doesnât sound like she means it. I should apologize too, but I definitely wouldnât mean it, so I donât.
Besides, itâs Cody who deserves an apology, not her.
Theo pulls the parachute away, and the first person I see is the one with a metaphorical knife in his back. Heâs smiling. And it feels like heâs kicking me when Iâm already down.
âYou jumped!â Cody cheers, dragging Mia to her feet. âIâm so proud of you! Did you like it? Was it fun?â
âThe scariest and happiest moment of my life.â Mia beams and then turns to me. âThank you. That was amazing.â
I canât even be mad at her for not feeling guilty about kissing me. She and Cody arenât together. Iâm the one to blame. Iâm the asshole here.
Sheâs innocent. Oblivious to Codyâs feelings.
Theo grips my arm, hauling me up while Conor and Colt help Mia out of her harness. She moves her attention to me, and the piercing gaze of those emerald greens peels all the layers protecting my mind. Skin, soft tissue, and bone. And sheâs there⦠where I donât want her. In my head. Holding every thought hostage at gunpoint.
I storm past them all to get the hell away from her before I knock Cody unconscious, fling the little girl over my shoulder, and make a fucking run for it.