Chapter 40: Chapter 40

The voices are what first capture my attention and tug me toward the surface. It’s a struggle to make sense of the words. My eyelids feel like they’re weighed down by cement blocks. After a minute or so, exhaustion creeps back in at the edges and I give up, happy to be sucked back under.

The second time it happens, my eyelids flutter and I squint against the light that pours in through the windows. It takes a moment to focus on my surroundings. My brows draw together when I realize nothing looks familiar. Everything is white or cream colored and sterile.

The beeping of machines is all too familiar and slams home exactly where I am.

The hospital.

The strangest part is that I have no memory of how I got here.

“I think she’s finally waking up.”

Mom.

I would recognize her anxiety-riddled voice anywhere.

Truth be told, it’s a relief to know she’s here and that I’m not alone.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Dad murmurs. “Look who’s returned to the land of the living. We’ve been worried about you.”

Only now do I realize that my head is throbbing a steady beat. “It kind of feels like I’ve been run over by a truck.” I search my memory for more information but come up empty. “What happened?”

“You caught the flu and got dehydrated.”

I glance at the IV taped to the back of my hand.

It’s a sight I’d hoped to never see again.

Mom slips her fingers around mine, drawing my attention to her. “Honey, why didn’t you call me when you didn’t feel well? I would have come over and taken care of you. I knew you weren’t being careful and sanitizing. And look what happened.” When her voice continues to escalate, I wince. “You ended up in the hospital!”

I squeeze my eyes tightly closed in an attempt to block her out.

“Rebecca,” Dad says with a heavy sigh. “Let’s save that conversation for a later date. This isn’t the time or place.”

Mom sends him an icy glare. “Of course it is. It’s the perfect time for Willow to realize that she can’t take these kinds of foolish risks with her health. She needs to be more vigilant.”

My tongue darts out to lick my chapped lips. “I refuse to spend my life living inside a bubble.”

“That’s not what I said.” She huffs.

“Yes, it is. You’d be much happier if I lived at home and didn’t attend college or get a job.”

“That’s not true!” Her voice falters as tears gather in her eyes. “I just want you to stay healthy. Is that such a crime?”

I force myself to meet her searching gaze and say the things I’ve wanted to get off my chest for the past couple years. “No, it isn’t. But it feels like I’ve been given a second chance, and what I want most is to live every day to the fullest without regret.” I pause and allow those words to sink in. I need her to hear me. Really hear me this time. “And you don’t want me to do that.”

She gasps. “Willow!”

I struggle to pull myself up to a seated position. “It’s true, Mom. I’m tired of watching everyone do all the things I want to experience. I’m tired of being the sick girl. I played that part enough in high school. I don’t want to do it anymore.” As much as I know this will hurt, it needs to be said. “Sometimes it feels like that’s what you want me to be so you can continue coddling me.”

A single tear treks down her cheek. “I…” Her voice trails off as she glances away before swiping at the moisture. “I’m just so afraid of losing you. When the doctors first diagnosed you with leukemia, it felt like the floor was ripped out from beneath us. I don’t think I’ve ever been more scared or prayed so hard in my life.” A suffocating silence falls over us as she chews her lower lip. “I’m sorry if that’s the way I came across. It was never my intention.”

Guilt rushes in to drown me. As much as I don’t like the sight of her tears, there’s relief in finally getting my feelings out in the open.

“I just…love you so much.”

I suck a fresh breath of air into my lungs before gradually releasing it back into the atmosphere. “I know, Mom. And when I was diagnosed, you quit your job and put your life on hold to care for me. I’m appreciative of that. But right now, what I need most from you is a little bit of space. Not everything is a catastrophe. Sometimes, I’m going to mess up and make mistakes. And, just like everyone else, I’m going to get sick. All I can say is that I’ll do my best not to die on you.”

When her expression turns to one of horror, the corners of my lips tremble. “That was a joke.”

She glares. “Not funny. But I get it, and I’ll try to do better. Promise.”

I nod.

That’s all I can ask for.

My gaze settles on my brother, who’s been strangely quiet throughout our conversation. We haven’t spoken much since the night he drove me home from the bar.

And I hate it.

“Hey, sis. We were worried about you.” He flicks a glance at our mother. “Mom nearly shit a brick.”

“River,” she snaps. “Watch your language.”

“What?” He gives me a conspiratorial wink. “It’s true.”

She purses her lips.

Now seems like a good time to cut in. “How’d you find out I was here?”

“Holland let us know.”

My memories of what led up to my trip to the hospital are still murky around the edges, but I seem to remember Maverick stopping by the townhouse.

Did we talk?

I could have sworn he crawled into bed with me.

Unless I was already delusional by that point.

For all I know, it was a hallucination.

Or wishful thinking on my part.

A puff of air escapes from me. It would be impossible to shake off the disappointment that has taken hold.

“Just in case you were wondering, he’s the one who brought you here,” my brother murmurs, drawing my attention back to him.

Our gazes lock and hold.

My mouth turns cottony as every cell in my body goes on high alert. My voice comes out sounding raspier than intended. “Who?”

“McKinnon.”

“He did?” My eyes widen as my heart picks up tempo. “He was here?”

River’s expression remains inscrutable as he dips his head in a nod.

If Maverick wasn’t already frightened away by me passing out, I’m sure a run-in with River hammered the final nail into the coffin.

Sorry, bad joke.

As soon as my parents arrived, he probably got the hell out of Dodge as fast as humanly possible. It’s doubtful I’ll hear from the guy again.

“Yup.” My twin’s expression turns cagey. “He told the staff that you were his fiancée so he could stay with you. He didn’t want you waking up alone and not knowing where you were.”

Warmth blooms in my chest before slowly spreading outward until it reaches the very tips of my fingers and toes.

I can’t believe he did that.

River clears his throat. “As much as it pains me to say this—he seems to genuinely care about you.”

I blink, thrown off by the admittance.

I can only imagine how difficult that was for River.

A kernel of hope tentatively rises within. “Do you really think so?”

My brother jerks his shoulders as he shifts from one foot to the other. “Yeah, I do.”

Some of the heaviness pinning me to the earth lifts, making it easier to breathe.

My lips twitch as I tease, “You don’t have to sound so happy about it.”

“Trust me, I’m not.”

I raise a brow, hoping that’s not his final word on the matter. “But?”

He rolls his eyes before grumbling, “I guess there are worse guys you could get involved with than Maverick McKinnon.”

“That’s progress, and I’ll take it.” I tilt my head and study him. “Would you believe that you two actually have a lot in common? If you weren’t always at each other’s throats, you’d probably be friends.”

It’s almost comical the way his face scrunches. “Sorry to disappoint, sis, but that’s never going to happen.”

A small smile simmers around the corners of my lips. “Anything’s possible.”

He shakes his head. “Nope. Not a snowball’s chance in hell.”

Our mother sighs. “River…language.”

Before my brother can shoot back a response, there’s a knock on the hospital room door. A second or two passes before it opens and Maverick pokes his head inside.

Our gazes fasten.

It would be impossible not to notice the concern etched across his expression. I feel terrible that he was so worried about me.

But…is that all it was?

Concern?

The kind you feel for a friend?

He glances at my brother and then my parents. “Is it all right if I come in?”

In a surprising plot twist, they turn their attention to me for an answer.

I nod as a fresh burst of nerves detonates at the bottom of my belly.

Mom rises from the chair parked next to my bed in one swift movement. Her fingers are still clasped around mine.

Even though I don’t want to, I rip my gaze away from Maverick to meet her eyes.

She clears her throat. “We’ll go home and grab something to eat. And then we’ll return in a few hours. Hopefully, once we get back, you’ll be released.”

“If you don’t mind, Mrs. Thompson, I’d like to take Willow home.”

Indecision flickers across Mom’s face. He’s unwittingly crossed into her domain.

When she remains silent, Dad says with a meaningful look aimed in her direction, “I think that would be fine, Rebecca. Don’t you?”

Mom straightens her narrow shoulders before reluctantly relinquishing my hand and forcing a slight smile to her lips. “Sure. Will you at least text me when you get home?”

A lump of emotion settles in my throat. “Of course I will.”

She chews her lower lip before nodding.

In a way, I understand how difficult it is for her to loosen the reins and let me take control. Mom is the one who kept track of all my appointments and medications. When I was too sick to take care of myself, she’s the one who did it for me.

And I’m so appreciative of her love.

But I’m not a child anymore.

And I don’t want to be treated like I’m on the verge of relapsing.

She needs to give me the space to grow into the adult I was always meant to be. No matter how difficult that is for her.

“Okay then,” she murmurs, tucking a stray lock of blonde hair behind her ear.

Dad slips his arm around her waist before gently steering her from the room.

Rather than trail after them, River waits for our parents to disappear into the corridor before eating up the distance between him and Maverick. It only takes three strides to bring them toe-to-toe.

When they’re no more than a foot away, my brother pauses to search Maverick’s eyes. “I’m only going to say this one time—you hurt her and I’ll bury you where no one will ever find your carcass again. Are we clear?”

Tension crackles in the air between them.

The last thing I want is for a fight to break out and security to get called.

Maverick straightens to his full height as he stares right back. Although, his expression lacks the animosity that’s usually present when he’s around River. “The last thing I want to do is hurt Willow. You have my word.”

My heart constricts at the sincerity that rings through his deep voice.

The heavy tension wafting off River gradually dissipates.

When he hesitates, I realize he wants to say more, but for whatever reason, he decides to hold his tongue. Instead, my brother turns to meet my gaze.

Both his tone and expression soften. “Call me if you need anything, all right?”

A smile breaks out across my face as a potent concoction of relief and joy crashes over me. The fact that these two actually engaged in a civil interaction is more than I could have expected, and it gives me hope for the future.

“I will. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

And then he’s gone, disappearing into the hallway.

Now that it’s just the two of us, Maverick settles in the chair near my bed. Our gazes stay locked as his fingers slip around mine before giving them a gentle squeeze.

“You really scared the shit out of me,” he admits.

Heat slams into my cheeks. “I’m so sorry about that.”

“You don’t have anything to apologize for. I’m just relieved that you’re all right and it was a matter of being dehydrated rather than something being wrong.”

“I should have taken better precautions and made sure I drank more fluids.”

He lifts my hand to his mouth before brushing his lips against my knuckles. “I don’t know what I would have done if something happened to you.”

Bits and pieces of our conversation from last night float back to me.

My tongue darts out to moisten my lips. “Mav?”

“Yeah, sunshine?”

I wave to the hospital room around me. “Are you sure you can handle all this? There are no guarantees I won’t end up back here again.”

His eyes soften as his lips stroke over the back of my hand for a second time. “I guess what I’ve come to realize is that there are no guarantees in life.” There’s a pause. “And I need to be all right with that, because the only other option is to not have you by my side. That’s not a choice I’m willing to make. So, if that means opening myself up and risking my heart, then I’m willing to do it.” He searches my eyes, and his voice dips. “For you, Willow. I’m willing to do it for you.”

A weight I hadn’t even realized was pressing on my chest, constricting airflow, disintegrates.

Maverick rises to his feet and looms over me before capturing my lips with his own.

He only pulls away long enough to meet my eyes. “I think you might be it for me, sunshine. I think you might just be my everything.”