Chapter 4: Chapter 4

“Are you sure I can’t convince you to stick around and wait for River?” I cajole Holland.

She gives me an are-you-cray-cray look. “Consider yourself lucky that I came to watch the game at all.” She sends a sidelong glance toward my mother. “You know there’s only so much of Becks I can handle, and I’ve reached my quota for the year.”

My gaze reluctantly resettles on Mom. She’s still foaming at the mouth that River was sent to the penalty box at the end of the game for a fight he didn’t provoke.

“Oh, come on. She’s not that bad.” Even as I say the words, I know they’re a lie.

Holland snorts. “Um, yeah, she is. And we both know it. At some point, you’ll need to have a come-to-Jesus meeting with her. The woman has to cut the cord and take a giant step in retreat. For both of your sakes.”

My shoulders sink under the heavy weight of her comment. Holland isn’t telling me anything I haven’t secretly mulled over a million times before. The more I try to spread my wings, the harder Mom doubles down and hovers, refusing to hand over the reins to my own life. It makes me want to scream.

When I fail to respond, she says, “I’ll see you back at the townhouse, all right?”

I nod. “Yup.”

With one final wave, Holland takes off, navigating her way through the thick crowd. After she disappears around the corner, I join my parents to wait for my brother. Other than the fight at the end of the third period, he had an amazing game.

We chat about school and the tutoring center until River walks out of the visiting team’s locker room, freshly showered. A grin flashes across his face when he sees us.

Dad claps him on the shoulder. “You had a great game.”

“Thanks. Coach said there were a few scouts in the stands.” His eyes darken. “Hopefully that jackass McKinnon didn’t ruin it for me.”

That’s enough to wipe the smile from Mom’s face. “Every time you two play against each other, there are issues. Why can’t he just let⁠—”

“You were on fire,” I cut in before the conversation can go off the rails. We all know why Maverick McKinnon has a bone to pick with River. Even if Mom doesn’t want to acknowledge it. “I’m sure they were impressed.”

My twin’s expression softens. His first love has always been hockey, and I can’t imagine that ever changing. “Thanks, sis. Glad you were able to make it.”

“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.”

“Are you hungry?” Dad asks. “We can get some dinner before heading back home.”

River shakes his head. “Nah, a few of the guys were talking about grabbing something to eat. You don’t mind if I go with them, do you?”

“Of course not.” Mom glances at her watch. “If we hurry, we can catch the news.”

River flicks a glance my way. “Any interest in coming out to celebrate with us?”

I blink, thrown off by the unexpected offer. He usually doesn’t invite me out to party with his teammates.

“Really?”

He pops a shoulder as if it’s no big deal. “Sure, why not?”

I mull it over for a few seconds before nodding. “Okay. Yeah, that sounds fun.”

As soon as I agree, Mom frowns. “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll keep an eye on her. She’ll be fine,” River adds.

Even though she technically doesn’t have a say in what I do, Mom chews her lower lip with indecision.

“Rebecca, let the kids have fun. They’ll be fine. River will watch out for his sister. He always does.”

Irritation pricks at me.

“I don’t need anyone to watch out for me.” I huff. “I’m almost twenty-one.”

Dad waves off my comment, attempting to make light of it. “I know, I know.”

This isn’t the first time we’ve had this conversation. Unfortunately, it won’t be the last either. Holland’s words ring unwantedly in my ears. My parents really do need to cut the cord before I get strangled by it.

We all say our goodbyes before they head out and we’re joined by a few of River’s teammates. When we were younger, I knew all the guys my brother played hockey with. We attended the same school and they’d stop by the house after practice and in the summer. I’ve only met the players on River’s college team a handful of times.

It’s easy to see that everyone is flying high from the win. There are lots of smiles, laughter, and good-natured ribbing.

“Let’s grab something to eat and then hit up a bar or two,” a tall guy with rich brown, wavy hair says.

After everyone agrees, he flicks mossy-green colored eyes in my direction before doing a double take and upping the wattage of his smile. “Well, hello there.”

The greeting barely makes it past his teeth before River growls, “Back off, Higgins. That’s my sister.”

Tension fills my muscles as I wait for the inevitable but pray that this time will be different.

“She had fucking cancer.”

It’s like dropping a bomb in the middle of an unsuspecting town.

Air leaks painfully from my lungs as the happy chatter of seconds ago dies a quick death and the guys closest to us turn and stare like I’m a circus oddity. Heat scalds my cheeks as pity floods their eyes. As soon as I meet their gazes, they shift and glance away as if I’m contagious.

The cute guy who’d been flirting seconds ago looks properly chastised by my brother’s comment. He drags a hand through his damp strands and mumbles, “Oh. Sorry about that. I didn’t know.”

After most of his teammates turn away, I ball my hand and punch River in the bicep.

Not that he feels it.

When pain shoots through my fist, I shake it out and glare. “Did you seriously just blurt that out in front of everyone?”

With a frown, he jerks his shoulders. “What? What did I do?”

I narrow my eyes.

I love my brother, but sometimes, I just want to kill him.

Slowly.

With my bare hands.

This is one of those times.

It’s the main reason I decided to transfer after my sophomore year. I was tired of him hovering, outing my diagnosis before people could get to know me as a person, not a medical condition.

“You know exactly what you did,” I grumble, opening my purse and rifling through it for my keys.

Deep down, I knew this was a mistake.

When I pull them from the bag, River blurts, “I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to say it.”

I pause with them clasped tightly in my hand. “If this is what the rest of the night will be like, then I’m just going to head home now and skip the embarrassment.”

“I’m sorry, Willow. I’m just…” His voice trails off. “Protective of you. I want everyone to understand that you’re off-limits.”

Even though I don’t want it to, everything softens inside me. It’s always been impossible for me to stay mad at River. “There was no need to humiliate me in order to get your point across.”

“You’re right. It was a shitty thing to do. Please don’t leave. I want you to come out and celebrate with us.”

It takes a minute or so for my muscles to loosen.

When I remain silent, he gives me sad, puppy-dog eyes. The ones I can never say no to. “Do you forgive me?”

“I don’t know,” I mutter, trying to hold on to the last wisps of my anger. “If I hear cancer or leukemia come out of your mouth one more time tonight, I won’t talk to you for a month. Maybe longer.”

He holds up his hand with a solemn promise. “I won’t say another word about it. I swear.”

“Fine.”

River throws a muscular arm around my shoulders before hauling me close. “We’re going to have a blast!”

The group moves en masse to the exit at the front of the building. Now that all cancer talk has screeched to a halt, the mood once again turns celebratory.

Some of the Wildcats players are still hanging around as we reach the lobby. A shiver skates down my spine when my gaze is snagged by a dark, brooding one. Even without a jersey that has his name stamped across the back of it, I know exactly who this guy is.

During the game, I’d tried telling myself that the little zips I’d felt every time our eyes locked were a figment of my imagination.

That’s no longer possible.

His eyes narrow as he pins me in place with a hard-edged stare.

The connection is only severed when one of the girls who’d been holding a sign with River’s name scrawled across it slams into his chest and twines her arms around his neck before pressing her lips against his.

I hate referring to any girl as a flavor of the week, but that’s been River’s track record for the past few years. There’s absolutely no point in me getting to know them. They’re here and gone before I can blink. There hasn’t been anyone of significance since he and Sabrina parted ways freshman year of college.

I’m just about to untangle myself from my brother when he slips his other arm around the overenthusiastic girl as we head to the exit.

Unable to help myself, I sneak another glance at the hot hockey player. Our eyes collide for the umpteenth time tonight, and my feet stutter at the disgust stamped across his expression. It’s written in the hard glint that now fills his icy depths and the curl of his upper lip.

My heart kicks up into overdrive as River tugs me along before smirking at Maverick.

“Tough loss, McKinnon. Better luck next time.”