CH 56

pei xia pretended that he hadn’t seen anything at all. he made an effort to maintain a calm demeanor, but in reality, he was so nervous that he could barely coordinate his movements.

of course, he liked lucifer. but if they were to rush things, it felt like things were progressing a bit too fast.

moreover, in a moment of impulse, he had confessed without thinking, but in some aspects, he wasn’t quite prepared!

pei xia walked over to the side of his bed, preparing to lie down. lucifer, who was already lying on the bed, couldn’t help but say, “pei xia, come here.”

“yes, saint, uh, fei fei!”

pei xia had no choice but to walk over to him, maintaining a one-step distance. he didn’t dare to get too close, fearing that he might impulsively pounce on lucifer again. he wasn’t ready, and it might turn into a tragic mistake.

lucifer slowly sat up, leaning against the head of the bed, and patted the space beside him, saying, “come here.”

“isn’t it a bit too soon for this?” pei xia hesitated, thinking it might be too hasty.

“too soon?” lucifer touched his chin and his smile took on a deeper meaning. “pei xia, what are you thinking? i just feel that since we’re already lovers, there’s no need to be so reserved. does sleeping on the floor feel more comfortable than on the bed?”

is it really just for sleeping?

well, this is getting a bit awkward! pei xia couldn’t help but run his fingers through his still-damp hair. suddenly, lucifer leaned in, placing his hand on the back of pei xia’s head.

a warm, gentle light enveloped pei xia’s head, making him feel like a 170-watt light bulb. he closed his eyes, feeling somewhat lost.

this whole love thing was his first time, and pei xia approached it with utmost sincerity and dedication. but at the same time, he couldn’t help but feel nervous and flustered.

as lucifer dried his hair, he smiled and said, “i don’t mind it being fast.”

pei xia shuddered.

lucifer leaned closer to his ear and lightly kissed the knight’s warm earlobe, saying, “i’m just afraid you won’t be able to handle it.”

pei xia clenched his fist.

after drying his hair, lucifer gently stroked the face of his seemingly pure-hearted new lover and said meaningfully, “i didn’t expect you to be so restrained; your thoughts run deep.”

although he had lost some courage, his heart was far from pure-hearted.

pei xia hesitated and said, “fei fei!”

lucifer was taken aback, “what’s wrong?”

“give me a bit more time.” pei xia stiffened, his voice determined, “i’ll definitely get there!”

lucifer replied, “the way you say it, it really touches me.”

but why did he have to put on this heroic sacrifice expression??

could it be that he didn’t actually want it? was he truly a pure-hearted man through and through?

lucifer couldn’t help but furrow his brow, “pei xia, don’t you want this?”

“it’s not that.” pei xia shook his head like a rattle drum, hastily explaining, “i like you, genuinely, and, of course, i have those desires as well. it’s just that, well, there’s a small issue i need to overcome.”

pei xia’s voice grew quieter as he spoke, his back hunched, and his head hung lower.

lucifer couldn’t help but lower his head along with him. suddenly, he noticed something and his body trembled, “you, could it be?”

pei xia’s heart raced with nervousness.

lucifer muttered, “no, you were clearly… excited.”

pei xia: “???” what are you trying to ask!?

“nothing,” lucifer smiled.

even if it was true that he couldn’t perform, it didn’t matter much in the grand scheme of things.

pei xia cleverly understood the deeper meaning in lucifer’s words, feeling both embarrassed and indignant. he couldn’t help but explain, “it’s not that issue!”

a man shouldn’t admit to being incapable, especially not in front of someone he likes. besides, he wasn’t truly incapable; he just wasn’t mentally prepared!

“what is it then?” lucifer wanted to tease him further. seeing him blush with embarrassment, he couldn’t bear it and asked, “what do you need to overcome?”

at this point, pei xia felt a bit awkward. he whispered, “it’s the reason i rejected you before.”

he had rejected lucifer before because of this issue, and now he was determined to overcome it. lucifer felt a hint of emotion.

“what is it?”

“we might be incompatible in that regard, the position for, you know,” pei xia didn’t want to dwell too much on this issue. after all, he was a pure “0,” although he might be about to change, so he understood the psychology of “0.”

“0” would still hope that their lover is a strong “1.”

pei xia was afraid that lucifer might misunderstand and reject him, so he quickly said, “of course, this isn’t that important. i just think we should take things step by step. although i admire your beauty, it’s not just that. i sincerely hope we can harmonize and be together for a long time.”

lucifer looked at him, a look of sudden understanding on his face. he then held pei xia’s hand, smiled, and nodded, saying, “i see now. it’s okay; i’m willing to wait for you. xia, i hope you won’t make me wait too long. you have to believe me; i’ll make sure you enjoy it.”

pei xia hadn’t expected that he would be concerned about this issue. so he was in the dominant position as well? that wasn’t surprising. forcing someone in the dominant role to switch could be a bit excessive, but if pei xia insisted on being on top, it would indeed be quite troublesome.

fortunately, he was self-aware and had already decided to overcome this issue.

his decision today was surely influenced by his own vulnerability. he pitied himself, so he was willing to relinquish the dominant position.

he was such an obedient and endearing knight.

lucifer narrowed his eyes, deciding that he would occasionally make an effort to help pei xia overcome his psychological barriers. as long as he acted delicate enough, pei xia wouldn’t want to hurt him. without this conflict, pei xia would stay by his side obediently.

as pei xia heard the word “enjoy,” his body couldn’t help but shiver. he felt a sense of sadness, but seeing lucifer’s affectionate and dependent expression, he became more determined and felt a strong resolve.

if others could be “1,” why couldn’t he?

a man should never admit that he can’t do it!

be “1” – he would embark on this journey from today, starting with the little things around them, one step at a time!

pei xia suddenly sat up straight, straightened his back, and reached out with his big hand, holding lucifer’s waist.

lucifer was a bit surprised, “pei xia?”

pei xia thought for a moment, his expression serious, “a real man is playing with fire here!”

lucifer: ?

pei xia: “goodnight, i’m going to sleep.”

he released lucifer as if he had been shocked, slid to the side, and lay on the bed with his back turned to lucifer. involuntarily, he raised his hand to cover his face.

no, it’s too embarrassing. being “1” is difficult, being a strong “1” is even more challenging!

lucifer slightly parted his lips, watching pei xia’s trembling figure and his reddened ears, unable to hold back a quiet chuckle.

could this be the fierce beast hidden in his heart?

lucifer leaned down, supporting pei xia’s shoulder, his long hair cascading onto pei xia’s back. he whispered in his ear, “goodnight, pei xia. i hope you won’t make me wait too long.”

two people in love, a relationship that naturally evolved. whatever they did, it felt like the right thing to do.

lucifer pulled up the blanket over pei xia and extinguished the lights.

late at night, in the realm of dreams.

in pei xia’s modern room, a simple bed was covered with blue checkered sheets. the window had curtains with patterns of leaves and flowers, but they couldn’t entirely block out the bright sunlight.

in the somewhat dimly lit room, a young man sat on a chair in front of a table, hugging his legs. the young man’s eyes were fixed on the laptop on the table, and on the screen, there were explicit images playing, with an incessant and disturbing noise.

someone with an indistinct face sat down next to pei xia and asked with a subtle tone and a strange look, “pei xia, what are you looking at?”

pei xia replied unabashedly, “i’m watching gay videos!”

the person couldn’t help but look outside and ask, “during the day?”

pei xia confidently explained, “if i watch them at night, it’s easier to get insomnia.”

that makes sense.

the person reached out, grabbed a strand of pei xia’s tousled hair, looked around the room, and then back at its owner, asking with a smile, “do you really like watching this?”

pei xia felt a bit embarrassed, “not really. i’m watching to learn. it’s like the saying, ‘even if you haven’t eaten pork, you’ve seen pigs run.’ so when the time comes, i won’t be clueless.”

what a truly dedicated attitude towards learning.

the person asked again, “how’s your progress?”

pei xia looked slightly dejected, “what i learned before is no longer applicable, so i have to start over. i’m working hard on it.”

the person held pei xia’s hands and said with gratitude, “i didn’t expect you to be willing to go to this extent. in that case, i’ll study with you.”

pei xia grinned, “sure, i’ve even downloaded some! unfortunately, i haven’t seen many of them, and after the time travel, i can’t find them anymore.”

“don’t worry, there will be a day when you can watch them again.”

the next morning, pei xia woke up slightly weary.

last night, he had been huddled near the edge of the bed, feeling both embarrassed and nervous, his mind in a chaotic and hazy state. he had no idea how he had fallen asleep.

but he seemed to have had a colorful dream, although the details were fuzzy. pei xia couldn’t help but think that he might be losing control.

oh, how he wished that this enthusiasm could be sustained in the bedroom.

lucifer woke up earlier than he did, so pei xia quickly got dressed and freshened up to join him for breakfast.

to his surprise, when he arrived at the dining table, lucifer appeared equally unenergetic. he seemed lost in thought, with a mysterious smile playing at the corners of his lips.

this absent-minded state continued throughout the day, and even when explaining the final parts of the teachings to his followers, he seemed distracted.

during the lunch break, pei xia couldn’t help but express his concern, “fei fei!”

lucifer responded, “yes?”

lucifer was a bit troubled by the use of this nickname, wondering how he could make pei xia voluntarily give it up.

pei xia, with the demeanor of a caring boyfriend, reached out to touch lucifer’s forehead and said with concern, “did you not sleep well last night? you’ve been daydreaming all day. if you’re not feeling well, maybe you should take a nap at noon.”

lucifer replied, “it’s not that.”

pei xia was puzzled, “then why? what have you been thinking about all morning?”

lucifer thought for a moment and decided to be honest, “i’ve just been thinking about the various things humans do.”

pei xia: ???

he couldn’t completely grasp the meaning, but he still raised a mischievous smile, “very well, my man, you have successfully piqued my interest.”

lucifer: “…”