Aditya was handed a letter by Chitrama. It had been three days and there was no reaction from Meenakshi. Ever since she had slipped into a coma, she showed no signs of waking up. Aditya looked at Chitrama skeptically, and understanding his unsaid question, she answered him.
"Meenakshi wrote this letter the night before the war. She âshe wanted you to read it. I don't know what is written in there, all she asked me to do is to give it to you if something happened to her."
Aditya frowned at her words but still took the letter in his hands, He inscrolled the letter.
Pranam Maharaja Vikram Aditya!
I offer you my humble respects. I have no words to explain my deceit and the loss you had faced, but I swear on the all prevalent Lord, Lord Rudra that, I have never made any attempts to misplace your trust. The attack on Krishnapura was not orchestrated by me or by my kingdom. We ourselves were under a similar attack during the same time. I realized why I was called out for this, but like a friend I once was, the secrets of your kingdom are still safe with me. Even for my life, I would never trade them.
Regarding my identity as Maheshwar and Meenakshi, I hope this letter informs you of my justification. If you still find me guilty, I am willing to accept any punishment if I ever survive this day. Throughout my life, as far as I knew and remember, I was always identified as Maheshwar. It was the only identity I had. I became Maheshwar from the moment I stepped into gurukul, to learn the Vedas and Upanishads as well as train myself to be a potential soldier so that I can contribute to my kingdom. Being a girl inside and a boy outside, I had to stay away from people. Growing too close to them would give away my identity, something that formed my whole life.
Being born as a girl was a sin that I had committed in this lifetime, something I had realized at a very young age and a man was what a society needed. I couldn't disappoint the king further, therefore I had taken this decision. I was rarely Meenakshi. Only in the closed chambers of the palace and in the early dawn of the day, I was a woman. No one knew how Meenakshi looked, how she spoke or who she was. All they knew was Maheshwar, a forest dweller, appointed by the king. I was the same person when I met you. I was helping the king on a mission near the Sindhi river when I met you. I had no idea that things between us would turn out to be different. I never imagined that you would want us to be friends, be together and always stay in touch.
The first time you had seen me by the river was purely coincidental. I was lost in your thoughts. After all, the disguise of a man couldn't fool my heart from falling in love with you. I knew it was forbidden, but as they say, the heart knows no bounds. I had failed to conceal myself and unknowingly you had seen Meenakshi. I had decided that that would be the first and last time we would meet, but fate had different plans for us. In your memory I would frequently come back to that hut, trying to get a hold of the presence we had once shared as friends. That was the first time in my life I couldn't control myself and had given up because of my own selfishness. I, for once, wanted to feel what it would be to be loved.
I thought that this relationship was one-sided, that only I loved you and you had no interest in a commoner like me, but I was shocked to know that you loved me. Even though my heart was bursting in happiness, I kept pushing you away because I didn't deserve your pure love and you didn't deserve a heartbreak. My life has one more secret. I am destined to die before my 21st birthday. I have no life after that day. I didn't want you to suffer in the loneliness I had lived my whole life. I knew how it was to be alone, wishing that someone would love us, embrace us, accept us and no matter however one justifies, you never deserved that Maharaj. You were a noble soul, someone who had lost so many important people in your life, I didn't want you to be so unlucky that you would lose me. I denied every move of yours with the same intent, wanting you to forget me, wanting you to find love again, marry again and live happily.
I accepted my destiny 8 years ago and I have no regrets about it. But I can never accept the fact that you are hurt because of me. Maybe in the next life I might be lucky to have your love and be your wife. But for this, this is all.
I know I have lost all the privileges to ask you anything Maharaj, but as a last wish, if I can ask you anything, then please forgive and forget me.
Yours Sincerely
Meenakshi
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I am planning to end the story here, after a couple of chapters. Unless you ask me further, you are not going to get anything ð