Chapter 27: Far
The carousel ride had ended as soon as it began, but to me it was plenty of time.
To decide. To convince myself. To want to tell Audra that I loved her.
That somewhere along hiding. And running. And fighting for our lives, I saw reason not to give up. And it was her; Audra herself.
Yet what happens in my life is always a series of interruptions. And so, the moment the carousel ride ended, and just as we were coming back to the hallway after thanking the crew, we bumped onto the boys; the last people I'd like to see right then.
Neil, curious-looking as ever, was the first to ask. "Where had you been? We were looking all over for you, Audra."
"Where had you been?" Audra asked in return. She didn't give anything away, though her face was still flushed, her cheeks reddening even on a chilly day.
Hanz, who could be the most perceptive in the group, stared from Audra to me, asking, "Did something happen while we were gone?"
"Yes."
"Nope."
Audra and I stared at each other, which understandably made Neil's face prune up. "Did something happen or not?" he asked, sounding much like his old sarcastic self.
"Yes," I finally admitted.
Hanz, even before I was finished telling, hooked his arm around Neil's neck, much like he did when choosing the rooms. "Great then!" he said. "But I just remembered. I still haven't told you about our whole set-up here yet. Maybe we should take this opportunity at breakfast and go?" He smirked. "Oh, and guys? Watch yourselves. People are beginning to wake up."
Whatever conversation we were having prior was soon overshadowed by the barrage of people coming from all places, as if on cue. Hanz himself ushered us forward. Meanwhile, Audra and I briefly glanced at each other again before we were swallowed by the crowd.
On her eyes was a silent thank you. And even when my chances of telling her what I really felt was totally ruined for now, I couldn't help but smile back. For now, that was more than enough.
Breakfast would be done in the boy's room, which upon entering, completely looked like ours. While there wasn't a piano, there was a statue of a glorious mermaid in the middle of the room. Furthermore, the large bed was facing a balcony that had no other view than the eternity of the sea too. I was completely baffled that the table on the left was already filled with food, though, even though we hadn't ordered yet.
"Did you tell them to bring this?" I asked.
"Yes," Hanz answered, finally letting go of Neil. "Everything is arranged for us. Here, take a seat, and I'll explain to you."
The four of us chose our chairs.
"You might be wondering what this ship is, what's the deal, and how we can stay safe." Hanz looked from one person to another. All of us were silentâ Neil too, for once allowing Hanz to speak.
Satisfied, Hanz leaned back on his chair, grinned. "Well, like I said when we'd arrived here, this ship is for cruising and they allow some people off from port to port. Sometimes they allow people in too."
"Like us."
"Correct, Pax. Although. . ." He frowned. "We had to come in using the crate so the tracers couldn't get us. We were smuggled in, so to speak."
"But are we clear yet" Audra said, already playing with a butter knife. "Can we walk around?"
"Yes," Hanz answered truthfully. "And no." Neil's eyes squinted while Hanz explained. "Technically, the ship is made up of ninety-five percent foreign passengers. They don't know that we're hunted. They don't even know, perhaps, that something had happened in Stalwart. All of them are on vacation, so let's keep it that way, shall we?"
"And those five percent?" Audra asked.
"That's what we should be careful of." Hanz leaned forward. "Like what you did earlier, you can go around and enjoy, as long as you don't encounter anyone dangerous."
"Nonsense," Neil said.
"How are we even supposed to know?" I supplied.
To this, Hanz only shook his head. "I have no idea. And frankly, I tried the best I could."
Okay, maybe we shouldn't be too hard on him. All of us knew that. But somehow, I still had the urge to place my hand on top of Hanz's, give him a small smile. "You're a hero, you know that?" I whispered.
He beamed at me, looking grateful.
Audra's eyes narrowed before letting go of the knife from her side of the table. "Alright then," she said, getting back to business. "All of us needs to be extra careful. The buddy system is back."
My first buddy of the day turned out to be Hanz, who was told to stay with me at all the freaking time, except when I was in the bathroom.
Truthfully, I had no qualms with him being beside me. Hanz was always comfortable to be with, especially since he was easy to talk to. Our task for the day involved familiarizing ourselves with the ship. And Hanz made it a cinch by being chatty as usual, talking about the smallest things.
"So that's about it for my wrestling matches," he finished, just as we leaned on the deck rail.
It was afternoon now, and we had spent most of the day examining almost every nook and cranny there was to see on the ship. There were extreme sports in here. Lots of luxurious things to do as well. Like spa's, a big theatre. And just like Audra and I did this morning, various entertainments like the carnival fair.
Hanz and I, however, ended up on the deck after escaping two blonde tourists that we didn't know if had the ability to recognize us or not. I found myself feeling bad about it though. They could be from any country in the world, but we had to be cautious.
"Just kiss her, you know," Hanz said all of a sudden.
I glanced at him in surprise, and the cheeky guy, as the Brits we'd heard earlier while on the hallway would say, grinned at me toothily. "Now I have your attention, don't I?"
"What?"
"You've been completely ignoring me, Pax." He gave a chuckle. "Are you thinking about Audra?"
"No. . . Well, yes," I confessed, making him laugh more. "Not fair!" I said. "I was thinking about the ship too."
Hanz nodded at me, looked out at the sparkling sea. We had left the port earlier, much to our delight. "So why don't you kiss her?" he said. "It's free."
I remained silent, which made him turn to me so fast, I had whiplash from just watching.
"Wait. . ." He trailed. "Don't tell me. . . You kissed already?!"
"Shh!" I said, looking around. "Not so loud!"
Hanz had turned excited though, flailing his arms. "Really?! When?! How did it happen? You have to tell me everything, Pax!"
"It just happened," I protested, "And you're just like a teenage girl."
He shrugged. But then his eyes skimmed the distance before he gave a wave. "Speaking of the devil. Audra! Neil!" he called and waved to them.
And he said to be extra careful too. I scowled at him, looked around for tourists who could hear us. But the deck seemed to be empty, especially since there was a movie playing in one of the theatres. Oh, and there was a discount on Starbucks too. The ship had all of those attractions and more.
Audra's hair was windswept as she came over to us, the sun shining on her face. "Hey!" she said. Neil, beside her, just glanced at the distance.
Hanz clapped his hands together, still. "Did you check the ship?" he said.
"Yes." Audra nodded. "All the entrance and the exits. We'd also found where they kept the guns. But it was locked and we couldn't get one."
Hanz gave a sigh. "When I said to check the ship, I didn't mean about that."
"Well I'm all about that," Audra said yet again. She hadn't glanced at me yet. Which might be why Hanz was able to elbow me. And say,
"By the way. . . Pax is meaning to tell you something, Audra. She said it's important, so maybe Neil should be my buddy for a while."
Finally, Audra's eyes landed on mine, and I couldn't help but freeze in place. We still haven't talked since the carousel.
Meanwhile, Hanz was beginning to go to Neil who was giving him a murderous glance. "Come on, buddy," Hanz said regardless. "Let's leave these two girls alone."
And just like that, Audra and I were left behind, the boys going on their own.
There were so many things that I wanted to tell her. To ask her. To experience with her, that being suddenly unescorted by Audra's side felt like a looming responsibility that was thrust on to me.
But Audra, being Audraâ didn't barrage me with any questions or expectations as to why we were left here. She just placed her hand on the rail that Hanz used to touch, and glanced at the endless expanse of the sea, her hair being swept by the wind.
I mimicked her, my heart starting to beat a hundred miles per hour.
This was it. My one real chance. But how do I begin?
'Audra, I love you? Is there a chance between us?'
'Audra, I'm crazy about you, but first let me say thank you?'
There were so many things. There were so many words, that in the end, all I could manage to say was, "Audra, you're beautiful."
"Excuse me?"
"You're beautiful," I repeated, knowing that it was the cheesiest and corniest remark that I could ever say. But what could I do? This was my first time. And never had I thought that I would be in such position, much less admit to anyone first that I liked her.
Audra, slowly shifting, turned to look at me. "You said what, Pax?"
"I said you're beautiful." I turned to her too. "The most beautiful girl in the world."
Okay, I might be overstating it a bit. But she seemed not to have heard me the first time. And even while I was saying it for the very third instance, I could feel that something was shifting in the air. Like electricity being killed. What gives?
I was completely caught by surprise then when Audra suddenly turned around, and without another word, started walking to the other direction.
"H-hey, wait!" I said.
I didn't know why she left. Wasn't I supposed to say that a girl was beautiful? Especially with her? She had the most beautiful soul that I had ever encountered. But why was she running away?
Catching up to her, I grabbed Audra's hand. "I said wait!"
She turned around. And when she did, I gasped when I saw the anger on her eyes. Where did that even come from?
"You know what?" she snapped. "Stay the fuck away from me, Leighton. You're just like them."
Like who? And Leighton? Since when had she called me that?
Furthermore, she yanked at her hand and started to walk away again. I followed right behind her, then blocked her path. My stomach twisting when Audra glared at me.
"I don't get it," I protested. "What did I do?"
She side-stepped me. I stepped right in front of her again. But soon, found myself upside down.
My back had hit the floor. She had thrown me without me even realizing it.
Above me, Audra glared down, not even guilty for doing that.
"You want to get it?" Her teeth gritted together, her glare putting me on fire. "Well here's the truth. I don't like you," she hissed. "I hated seeing you in school. Youâ" She shook her head, bit her lip, as if preventing herself from screaming at me. I was so shell-shocked, I couldn't say anything in return. "Just stay the hell away from me, okay? I don't want to get involve with you. You're the worst person, Pax. I hate you!"
She ran away. And for the first time since this all occurred, all I could do was just stay on the floor, wondering what I had done, wondering what I did to upset her.