Chapter 22: Consequences

Chapter 22: Consequences

Wherever Dante and I were going, he didn't care enough to explain it, or to even tell me what we were going to do. We were simply that; walking.

One, get out from his house, silent as a cat.

Two, pick among the tunnels in the area. Never tell Pax what he was doing. Never tell Pax if he was mad.

Three? Well, I forgot three. Sue me. All I knew was that I was in deep, deep trouble, and at any moment now Dante could probably put me inside my own prison cell, right alongside Audra's.

Only. . . I didn't feel any kind of distress anymore, nor guilt towards it. Even doubt. All that was left in me was pure and unadulterated disgust. Remembering his wife's words— or his ex-wife's words on the letter, for that matter, I was beginning to know what kind of man he was, and frankly, Dante needed help.

"There," the man said, speaking for the first time since we got out of his hut, going to the unknown. "Go through there, Pax."

"Why?" I took a good look at the passage he was pointing towards. It was not the tunnel leading back to Audra, or any of the chambers that I had been to before. This one was longer and narrower. In fact, one might have to go sideways in order to come through. But why did I have to subject myself to that?

"Aren't you curious, little one?" Dante's nickname to me made me frown. "Because the way you were lurking in my hut, reading my personal stuff, I know you're quite the curious one. But it's not like I hadn't expected that."

Really? I stared at him. Did he really expect me to read his letters all along?

Dante, always one step ahead, gestured towards the tunnel again. "You know why you should," he said. "You know why you even followed me here, even though I never threatened you. You know."

Maybe. But I didn't want to play this game anymore. Whatever he wanted me to see, I wasn't down for it.

I was about to tell him so, when a loud scream made me stop. Squint my eyes. Turn to Dante once again in surprise, whose own eyes were twinkling with glee. With pleasure.

"Aren't you curious now?" he asked once again, hand going to his beard, stroking. "Someone you might know, perhaps, through there Pax? Someone close?"

My heart picked up speed like a marathoner going crazy. And just like that, I was dashing towards the passage he was pointing towards. Going to my side, not letting the narrowness of the walls swallow me up with claustrophobia.

Once I made it through, I held the cough brought by the dusty air. There were torches. Just like all the other chambers. And yet, it was still menacing all the same inside, especially when I saw who was in the middle— tied to a pole, feet several inches from the ground, groaning out loud.

"Neil!"

"L-Leighton. . ."

His normally unruly hair had stuck to his face due to dripping sweat. His clothes were grimy, unchanged like Audra's, though a million times worse for wear. His eyes were bloodshot. His hands were tied behind a pole. But more than that, from the holes on his clothes, I could see the nicks and cuts splashed almost everywhere on his skin.

I detested him for what he did to me in the sewers, but never enough to be like this.

Another set of footsteps echoed behind me. "You know this boy then?"

"No."

"But you said his name was Neil," Dante reasoned. "I heard you just now."

"No." I remained frozen. "I'm afraid. . . I'm afraid I had made a mistake."

Dante's chuckles bounced everywhere. "Pax, Pax," he said. "You're just like who I thought you'd be. You're marvelous!"

Wrong. I was just a wreck, and this was appalling.

Dante, who was still sneering like watching a sarcastic movie, went closer to Neil, patted his shoulder.

To which I couldn't help but protest. "Don't touch him!"

Dante smirked.

"What have you done to him?!" I added.

"Nothing. Nothing you wouldn't have wanted yourself, little one." Dante gave me a look. "But since the jig is up, I might as well just tell you that I'd seen you before. When the four of you were asleep?" He waved caution to the wind, pointed to me. "You. Him. Another girl. My neighbor, Hanz. All in the sewers. All a happy family."

My eyes narrowed at Dante. Was that it?

"We are not like you and your family," I said. "You can never have them back. Not through us."

Dante shook his head. "No, of course not. I'm not hoping for that anymore. But you know what's interesting, Pax?" He walked behind Neil, and from the sound of it was getting something. I couldn't really tell from in front. "When I followed you in the sewers, I thought you were going to help each other. You and this Neil boy," he said. "Then I was pretty surprised when instead of that, this young man threatened to leave you. To hurt you. I mean, he even threw broke your bracelet. What kind of friendship is that?"

"F-Fuck you!" Neil shouted, though his voice was trembling. So unlike him that I almost staggered back.

Dante reappeared, a long and thin rod clasped on his hand, gave me a shrug. "See? The boy should learn a thing or two from you, Pax. And that's what we're here for today."

I wanted to take a step back. What was he planning?

Yet no matter how hard I tried, it was as if I was rooted to the spot.

Neil, ahead, was trying to break free from his bounds.

"You know what we need right now?" Dante asked. "A strong, suitable leader, fitting to replace our Elder in a few months. Just like you, Pax." He pointed the thin rod to me. "Just like you, who never told me once about this boy and what he did. Just like you, who pretended not to know him in order to save him. Just like you, who were shunned by society because she's lesbian. Pax. . . I know how that feels. I know!"

"You're disgusting!" I hissed.

Dante smiled at me, scratched his beard again. "Bestiality," he said. "The act of having sexual deeds with an animal. But if you think about it, what difference does it have with you wanting to have intercourse with Audra? Because that's what you are, right? A lesbian running away?"

"No!" How could he compare me with him? With them?! "Being lesbian is nothing like your sick mind!" I yelled. "You're just messed up!"

"You're just misguided, child."

Dante went to me, forced the rod on my hand.

"And sooner than later, you will agree with me," he said. "You will love being here. You will be one of us."

He took a step back, a broad smile on his face.

"Come on, Pax. For Audra."

A couple of hours later— I didn't know how much; sweaty, drained, but most of all numb, Dante and I came out of the chamber, no whip in sight. No torch needed either. Just trekking the dark. None of us spoke. None of us had to.

What we had done was more than enough. What I had done was more than enough. And I didn't know if I could ever speak again. What I was, was not human anymore. I was a monster.

About five minutes more, and Dante and I broke through the dwellings— the sky was purple, it was almost nightfall.

I glanced at the clouds, wishing, hoping, it would take me away. Whoever had watched me from up there had seen the monstrosity of my actions. Yet, I couldn't do anything. I was a puppet. Neil was too. Somehow, he understood that.

"Go ahead, Pax," Dante had ordered me back in the chamber. "Or you know what would happen to Audra."

"What had you done to her?!" I shouted.

"Nothing that you wouldn't want me to do. Yet."

The saddest part was, Neil, in all of this, was the one who encouraged me. Was the one to smile, even. Raising his head, he said. "Do it! Do it, Pax! Punish me for her!"

The memory faded in smoke and fire as Dante, at present, continued to the dwellings, not minding the people coming up to greet him.

There were many of them now. I couldn't even track their faces.

All those people. All those secrets. And I was probably no different from them now. Even worse.

Dante, knowing exactly that, gave me his acknowledgement. "Look at these people," he said. "Your people, Pax. Your place."

My gaze lowered to my feet.

My people. My town. Unknowingly, he had made me a part of this place, and whatever I did, I could never escape. Not from what I'd done.

Dante pointed to the distance. "You see that hut, Pax? That's going to be yours from now on. But I doubt you'll stay there for long."

"Why?" It was the first thing I'd said in a while now and it hurts. Everything hurts. But my soul was dead and charred. Abominable. "Are you going to kill me?" I asked.

Dante laughed at my statement. "No, I won't. You know why I want you alive. You're going to be the leader of this place soon enough."

"Why?" My voice was deadened. How I wished I could just die and keel over too, but I had people to look after, and I wasn't lucky enough.

"You know why," Dante answered. "You're a noble person. The best. You will do everything for the people you love. Even those that hurt you."

But I didn't love Neil. I didn't want to hurt him either.

Dante shook his head as if knowing. "Someone like you— someone untainted and good, Conduit needs a leader like that." He grinned once again, his footsteps halting as he gestured towards the hut. We were a few feet from it now. And whatever happens, I didn't want to enter it. "Don't worry," he cooed. "The challenges you faced were nothing compared to the gifts we will give you. Pax. . . To be one of us is the best thing that can happen in your life. Surrender to it."

Dante opened the door. Took my hand. Pushed me inside. It was so fast that I couldn't even struggle as he closed the door behind me.

The bolt of whatever lock he fastened was a testament to how much of a prisoner I was. Yet no matter how I turned and slammed my fist on the wood to get out, I was met with resistance from the other side, and a hearty laugh that echoed too loud.

Another second, and the room was lit in colors.

Fireworks?

I gaped around. Outside, the booming sound was a split-second too late, yet its accompanying flash lit up the inside of the hut as if a light bulb had flickered.

Boom! Boom!

One by one, fireworks started to explode. Blue. Green. Red. What were they celebrating? What were all those people outside so happy about?

I turned around and gave a little gasp. The bed not far from me, wasn't empty at all. And right then, someone was sleeping soundly on the mattress.

Another firework exploded and I was running to her. "Audra!"

No! What had they done?!

I shook her shoulders. Green. The firework outside was color green right now, making our faces inside the hut light up in eerie green too. Sickly. Alien. Audra wouldn't open her eyes.

"Audra, please!"

When everything turned red, only then did she blink up at me. Her lips opening, she wondered. "Pax?"

"Yes!"

I couldn't help it, I embraced her. And for some strange reason, she embraced me too. But I didn't care anymore. She was here. And I would do anything to protect her. I would even kill anyone to do it.

"Pax. . ."

"Audra. . ."

She stared at me for a second. "Kiss me, will you?"

Her embrace tightened a little bit, and immediately it made me pause. Her scent was all over me now; dark chocolate and bitter, though I knew that if I took a bite, she would be heavenly and sweet.

Audra's embraced loosened for a second, only long enough so she could grasp my face.

Blue. That was the color of the room now. Yet I was extremely happy, and confused at the same time. Why did she say that?

"W-what?"

"Kiss me," she whispered again, before her tongue licked her sultry lips, her hand suddenly tracing down my spine, making me shiver.

"But. . ."

"Please."

"N-now?"

"Yes, now."

There was an urgency to her tone. But there were so many things I had to tell her still. There were so many things she wouldn't forgive me for. Starting with her best friend.

Yet when her lips came in contact with mine, I knew that I was sold. Grasping her hair a little, I gave out a moan. It was everything I'd ever wanted in a kiss; the sweetness. The sharpness. All packaged in this Godly girl. Her tongue slipped in my mouth, and I knew that I was hers.

"God, Audra. . ."

"Fuck me."

What?

"Do it, Pax. Didn't you want that?"

Of course. Of course, I did. My eyes focused on hers. Audra was beginning to remove her shirt now. And I couldn't help but stare at her still-covered breasts. They were lovely even though.

Mine.

Audra, still on a roll, pushed me down the bed, began to straddle me with her legs.

"I know you wanted to do this with me, Pax. And I do too. You were always in my mind."

Really?

But my thoughts were clouded— so much clouded than I thought they would ever be. Especially as she lowered herself to me, licked my neck like candy.

"In school, I was always thinking about you, looking at you," she whispered. "But you never looked me back." She bit my ear, sighing. "And I never thought that I would get the courage to say this, until Dante gave me the sage. Isn't that great, Pax?"

Huh? I couldn't think straight. My head was swimming, along with the grinding motions she was doing with her hips.

But something. . . Something about what she said was nagging into me. More than her feathery-light kisses on my neck. More than the tracing of her fingers on my hips. More than the sensation of her other hand going inside my jeans.

But even before she reached what she wanted to reach, I was already sitting up.

"Stop," I said.

"No!" She almost growled at me. "Why would I? Why would we, Pax? Didn't we want this?!"

I took a good look at Audra. It was her. Her lovely face. Her husky voice. God, even her lust-filled face was making me ache in certain places. Making me yearn. Making we thirsty. But I knew that somewhere in there was a girl that didn't know what she was doing, or what was going on.

And just for that, I knew I had to forget this. It was no more as fake than what I was feeling right now.

Once again, Dante had sought to control me. To break me. This was one of his test, and I needed to stop him.

Audra was about to remove her bra, when I quickly clasped her hand.

"No."

"Pax!"

Audra wouldn't whine like that. She would probably break someone's head before it happened. So despite the yearning still at the pit of my core, even after I knew she would struggle at me, I forced her to turn around, and whisper on her ear. "This way," I said, gritting my teeth. "I want to do it this way."

"What?"

"Just close your eyes, Audra."

She stilled. And I lifted my foot while I still had the advantage. Quickly, expertly, I began to remove the laces from my shoes, then tie it around her wrists. She was giggling now. She thought that I wanted to be rough with her.

But all I could think of now was how much I didn't like her anymore. I loved her. And as the realization washed over me, I knew I had to protect her.

Even against myself.