It would look bad if he ran away, wouldn't it?
It would seem overdramatic and rash. But as Madeline got closer and closer, Spencer realised that he couldn't stay without having a public melt down.
So he ran away.
Nora called after him and he could hear Madeline apologise profusely. But soon he was out of ear reach. He bursted through the doors and hid himself behind the corner of the building. His knees buckled under him and he slid down against the brick wall to the floor. He couldn't seem to catch his breath.
Why was she there? Spencer placed his head between his knees. The position was meant to help with his panic attacks. It felt like he was having a heart attack. Like he was minutes away from death.
"Spencer, you okay?"
Spencer didn't look up but could sense Oliver sit down beside him.
"No."
Why was she there? Why was she in Manhattan? Had she not realised that Spencer would be there? Out of respect for him she shouldn't have come. However, she clearly didn't respect him or else she would have tried to contact him in the past five years.
"Here. Drink this."
Oliver handed Spencer a small, leather hip flask that reeked of booze. However, Spencer didn't care how strong it smelt and took a swig from it.
"Thanks," He grumbled before turning to face Oliver. "Why didn't you tell me Madeline wasn't coming?"
"I swear I didn't know, man. I only found out an hour before we came."
"Why is she even here?! Who invited her?!"
Oliver sighed and patted his shoulder. "Nora met her at a bridal store and they're back to being friends now. Apparently she changed."
Did the new Madeline also want nothing to do with Spencer?
"I can't see her, Oliver... I was finally moving on and now she's here."
Oliver scoffed. "Don't let her win. Give her a piece of your mind. She played you and now it's your chance to speak your mind. If I were you I would march in there and tell her how badly she hurt you. I've seen you struggle these past few years because of her. It's not right to let her get away with everything she did to you."
"What do I even say?"
"The truth. Show her how much she hurt you."
Spencer fiddled with with the tweed sleeve of his jacket. "I don't know..."
"Spencer, she hurt you. Don't let her win." Oliver sighed and stood up, extending hand to his friend. "Come on."
Hesitantly, Spencer took it and stood up, dusting himself off. "Okay. Let's go."
The hall went quiet again as Oliver and Spencer reentered. Keeping his head down, Spencer followed Oliver to Nora and Madeline. He could see Madeline's shoulders shaking, implying she was crying and a part of him really felt bad for her. But mostly he felt trepidation as he approached her.
He cleared his throat before speaking. "Hey."
Madeline immediately turned around and let out a soft gasp when she saw him. He made eye contact with her bloodshot eyes and old feelings began to stir in his chest. Her mouth opened to say something but nothing came out.
"We should talk," He murmured eventually after a few tense seconds. He would have preferred to come across as stronger and sterner but, even though Madeline had changed, the effect she had on him hadn't and he could feel himself shrinking.
"There's a private room upstairs," Oliver noted. "We'll be here if you come back down. But I can't stand seeing Spencer hurt like this."
"And Madeline," Nora added.
He rolled his eyes. "And Madeline."
Spencer nodded awkwardly before sticking his hands in his pockets. "So..."
Waiting for a response from Madeline was excruciating. But finally, she wiped away her tears and nodded. "After you," She croaked.
One tense walk up later, Madeline and Spencer found themselves in a quiet room with a long sofa and pool table. Spencer walked as far away from her as possible and planted himself on the far end of the sofa. Not taking the hint, Madeline placed herself beside him. He refused to look at her and slowly the room began to fill with a tangible tension. His mind was busy trying to stuff all the old emotions back into their locked boxes. He couldn't fall back in love again.
"I guess I've got a lot of explaining to do, huh," Madeline said first. Her voice had changed. It had become deeper and seemed more genuine.
Spencer nodded wordlessly in response. She let out a soft sigh.
"Um, okay. I guess I'll start at the very beginning. Sunny Brook was really good for me. I stopped drinking and taking drugs. And while I was there I felt no pressure from a hierarchy. For the first time in my life, I could actually relax and be myself without having to worry about my popularity. It was... liberating. I guess I had already made the choice even before I left."
"What choice?"
"The choice that I would stay in Florida. I knew that Nora wouldn't want me back in Manhattan and I felt like I owed it to her to just stay away. Let her shine for once. I owed you all a bit of breathing space because my friendship with you must have been suffocating."
Spencer said nothing even though he knew her last statement wasn't true. Well, not for him anyway.
"I made a life for myself. I got comfortable. Maybe too comfortable."
"And then you forgot about us?" Spencer scoffed. He was getting impatient because she was dancing around the elephant in the room. Why did she ignore him?
"I never- I didn't- I...." She stuttered. Then she sighed and reached out to hold his hand.
He winced at the contact and moved it away.
"Spence, I never forgot about you guys. Especially you. You're always on my mind. But it was better for you if I just stayed away."
"That wasn't your decision to make!" Spencer snapped.
"I only attract trouble, Spence!"
Spencer rubbed his head with his hand and groaned. "Bullshit! While you were out 'finding yourself' and finding new love we were here waiting for you. I was here waiting for you. What happened to 'endgame'? What happened to your promise?"
"I-I-I-"
"And then you ignored me for five years! Maybe I would have moved on quicker if you just told me that you had given up on us! After being friends our whole life, you were just okay with ghosting me like that? You promised me you'd come back! Did I really mean that little to you?!"
Madeline's face twisted in anger and her hot tears were swiftly wiped from her face. "How dare you say that to me?! You mean so much to me, Spencer Kingsley!"
"Well clearly I don't if I wasn't even worth a phone call," He scoffed. She hadn't even apologised yet!
"I was happy. I was happy in Florida. Why can't you put yourself in my shoes? I didn't want any reminders of the old me. I was going to come back after I graduated. Come back to you."
"But?"
She sighed. "But then I met Blake."
Spencer cringed at his name. He had nothing against the guy but it should have been him.
"Why him, Maddie? What's the difference between Blake and I?"
"Timing."
Spencer rolled his eyes. "Cool. Okay, well I wish you and Blake a long happy life. But I don't want anything to do with you anymore. I'm letting you go, Madeline."
As he got up, her hand reached out to hold him back. He wanted to shake it off but he couldn't. He could feel the warmth of her hand radiating through his sleeve and it felt surprisingly comforting.
"Spencer, please," She pleaded. "Hear me out."
"I heard you, Madeline. You just didn't love me like I love you."
"That's not true!" She cried in an incensed tone before standing up to be at eye level with him and peering into his angry eyes.
"Yes it is! Madeline, you never loved me! You never-"
"Stop-"
"Never cared for me. I am nothing to you. Admit it-"
"No-"
"Admit you never loved me because if you did you would have proven it long ago-"
"No!"
"Admit-"
Madeline placed her hands on either side of his face and closed the distance between them, cutting him off with a kiss.
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A/N :
Lol I need to slow down with these updates because ya girl got EXAMZ! Please tell me to stop
Also I can't believe I published 8 chapters during the month of december. That's like two updates per week. Damn...
Also I found so many OG copycat books and it makes me so sad
ALSO 2k on TKOM WOOOHOOOO
Love,
-hexed