i've written about my insecurities,
now it's time for the real truth.
i never talk about this,
because i've built a wall that's bulletproof.
so let's start off
with something that lives inside me,
a burning fire that makes me yell out
"come on and fight me".
it's the anger within,
maybe i have issues,
but i get so angry
that reds are my only hues.
i also get jealous,
but i think it's for normal reasons,
but that doesn't change this imperfection,
sometimes it even becomes treason.
another imperfection of mine
is the fact that i hate myself,
i always talk nonsense, like
"god i'm gonna kill myself".
i hate the fact that
i'm not perfectly nice,
i have a friend who's
just sugar, no spice.
i'd like to be like her,
so calm, not anxious,
never getting mad
and never doing any bad actions.
i also hate that i fail
when i need to succeed the most,
i'm very competitive,
so i'm always a player, not a host.
i come out as rude
when i really don't want to
i'm also so depressing
filled with sadness, but at least i'm true.
maybe i need
to change someday,
but i think i'll live
forever this way.