She hated life.
She yelled and she screamed and she cried and she fought.
Fought against her mind.
The mind that could kill her in an instant.
Her mind craved sympathy, reassurance, understanding, love.
But her mind kept killing her.
Every time a person could give her what she wanted.
She closed the door to her heart.
And she couldn't help it.
She couldn't bother other people with her stupid stupid problems.
Because she couldn't understand them herself.
She wanted to.
But she couldn't.
They say home is where the heart is.
But what if you don't know where your heart is?
She hated being home yet she hated going outside.
In the end of the day she had to go away to escape.
She had to escape reality.
The only way to escape was going out of her home.
What is your home?
People say it might be a place or a person.
A place is not her home.
But every time a person who feels like home comes in her world, she blocks them out.
She doesn't have a home.
But she still needs to escape.
To escape the horrifying reality that no one knows.
Either people ask about it or see it for themselves, too sad to ask about it after that.
"That's sad."
So she locks herself away.
Her thoughts, her feelings, blocking every person who wants to help.
She's alone and she feels lonely.
Yet she can't help pushing people away.
Because she knows the only way to escape is to tell them, even when not asked.
...
But she's scared.
comment: this was written almost a year ago, i found it in my "note" book on wattpad and thought it was "Letters" book worthy. hope you liked it <3
-sophie.