Chapter 39: hopeless.

And you constantly think that it stopped. It's not going to get back again, you're cured! You probably never were horrible in the first place, it was just temporary sadness. But you're okay now and you feel good again. Everything's gonna be okay. And so you think, until every good part about your life gets killed by a horrible event every time. You thought you got better, but you got worse. It happens when something good comes into your life. Every. Single. Time. And I tried so hard while being completely closed off to tell things about my life to someone, I tried and I tried and I tried. No one cared every time, but a thing that kept me going was hope. I was so hopeful, I thought it'd eventually help me. I knew people got to know about what was happening, but hey, I still meant nothing to all of them. I was never okay. I am never okay. Everything comes crashing down everyday. It was so obvious. Yet you didn't even try to do anything when you got to know about it. Hah. "You have friends". I was hopeful. I lost hope. I lost hope completely.