suicide of the mind,
i look down at my toes.
the things that were left behind
will never be enclosed.
but it's nice to think that for once
i have people behind my back
who help me go through the months
of depression weighing down my back.
when i started this book i had no one
and i didn't have anyone 'till mid spring,
since then spring has become fun,
since then again i started to sing.
a childish girl, a raven with wings,
the colorful girl, the sunflower of loss,
maybe i'm standing in pure defeat,
but at least i'm not alone, i'm not crossed.
the things i went through were appalling,
and now when i think about it
death was slowly gnawing,
but now only by heartbreak i'm hit.
and maybe i should just stick to it,
heartbreak, loss, vengeance,
but death and everything else - just ignore it.
stick to my failing heart engines.
my biggest problem now is simple,
yet complex at the same time,
i love someone who is simple,
yet complex at the same time.
and the love is truly simple,
but complex at the same time,
because, for example,
he's in love with my friend for a lifetime.
an eternity of his love to her,
an eternity of my love to him,
we're such fools for chasing after others,
it's so wrong to be loving him.
suicide of the mind,
i keep doing it in this book,
i keep doing it behind
everyone's backs, and i took
a razor sharp blade
to kill my mind's insanity,
but when it's killed
nothing will be inside of me.
it's easier to live with a dead mind
and i've been trying to kill it for a while,
but this time i won't have this book to help
i only need a disguising happy smile.
the things i went through will come back someday,
and for now i'll be intertwined
in the webs of lies, but wait when an axe i'll sway.
suicide of the mind.